How weird is this fetish?

[Garlic]

5 hours ago, NogutNoglory said:

The whole “I want to date a skinny girl and fatten her sneakily makes me sick

That’s not an activity shared by everyone in the community. There are plenty of people around here who ask there partner if they want to gain and then the partner agrees to. The original weight of the partner can also range from skinny to chubby to already fat.

[Guest bobbington]

6 hours ago, NogutNoglory said:

I do have to say that I am lucky as a female fat admirer, most guys are like “oh that means you really want to have sex with me!? Ok ,Sweet!!!”
 

I told my husband within the first few minutes of meeting because he was very insecure about his weight and asked right away why I was interested in him. I met him at a restaurant that I worked at, I was too shy to say anything directly to him, but he was there for a highschool reunion with a girl I used to work with, so before she left I told her to tell him “I would like to have sex with him at his earliest convenience “ . I don’t think she actually told him that because she probably thought “who says that?” Lol. But she gave me his number because she said he would be too shy to call me. So I texted him to hang out. When he first entered my apartment he asked me what attracted me to him. I’m super super upfront so I told him that I liked fat guys and thought he was really hot, at first he was painfully shy but as he felt more comfortable he opened up and he is an incredible person with infinite patience and now we have been together for 8 years and married for 2. 

It is so rewarding to see how much more confident he has become, growing up, and even up until right before we met his father had him on a bunch of crazy fad diets and I think he really felt that is weight held him back from life and that he wouldn’t be accepted by anyone even though he really is gorgeous! Think Micheal Pitt with smaller lips.

So to me, that’s the best thing ever, to love and accept someone how they are and actually be super attracted to them and help them feel better. I hate to say this but I have a problem with feeders because:

A. Do you like fat/chubby girls or not? Date a real bigger girl! The whole “I want to date a skinny girl and fatten her sneakily makes me sick, I’m sorry, I’m sure that is a very unpopular opinion on here but hopefully someone gets why that is weird. I don’t think FAs and feeders are as closely related as people think. I don’t believe feeders are real FAs because they are still attracted to thin people and are more about changing the girl than anything. I don’t get the fascination with the fattening part there are SO many chubby/fat women, why on earth would you artificially make one? A huge deal to me is if someone was fat as a child as like my husband was. Then I feel they are meant to be bigger people naturally. The idea of intentional gaining is not sexy to me at all, in a fantasy it’s different but in real life I couldn’t get into it.

B. Whats the difference between telling me I should be thinner or I should be fatter? (Secret: there is NO difference) having been into tattoos and fantasy colored hair since I was 13, you don’t  know how many guys have said stuff like “ you would be hot if you dressed normal, dyed your hair a natural color etc”. My husband didn’t get why it was such a big deal to me, but when I told him about me being on fat fetish websites he told me he had a subscription to Suicide Girls and to me it is one of my most cerished moments ever because I knew I was his ideal. To me the idea of not being someone’s ideal partner physically is too horrifying to bear.
 

Some women are not as crazy about their appearance as I am, but to me it is one of the very few things in this world that we actually have control over, so someone trying to steal that from me would be one of the biggest violations imaginable. Also if my husband was into something like this and didn’t tell me I would be so incredibly  pissed off at him for keeping it from me.
 

So I guess to sum it up, I absolutely love and understand being pretty much only attracted to fat people, because that’s how I am. But I can not understand wanting to “ruin” someone’s “perfect” body. I feel that it’s just one more way that men try to control women and tell them that they aren’t good enough as they are. I just really don’t understand why if someone was attracted to fat women why they wouldn’t just date already fat women and instead try to trick a thin girl into getting fat. Hopefully someone understands what I’m trying to say. I feel bad that I have such a judgmental and negative view of feederism because the fetishes are lumped together so often, shouldn’t I be able to relate and understand? I’ve thought about it everyday and I’m no closer to wrapping my mind around it than I was to start with. I really thought FAs were the majority and for most people the feeding and gaining thing was more of a fantasy. Also people trying to push me to gain has HUGELY turned me off of feeders. *I get fantasizing about many of the themes feeders do I just don’t get why they feel justified pushing it on other people or acting out every fantasy in real life.*

I know I wrote a book, but I’ve had a few men be very curious about how I thought because FFAs are so rare so I thought you guys may find it interesting.
 

Also if you are thinking “why are you here if you don’t want to gain?” In short (not to sound too cocky) because I’m too hot and spent WAY too much money on my appearance (we are talking at least 30,000 for 3 boob jobs and extensive tattoo work) not to model and I’m too fat to be a regular model. And I am into the community, I’ve just been shocked by the levels to which people take stuff.

Hi, thank you for being so honest and upfront with your answer. To answer your questions: 

I like thin girls, but I also like girls who are a bit on the pudgy side as well (and I agree the whole fattening in secret thing is absolutely wrong). 

And I absolutely get where you’re coming from with the second point too, that’s also unfair on them. 

I will add though (and perhaps this may reconcile this with my under 200lb preference) that for the most part, this is mainly a fantasy for me- something I’d  like to role play with a partner perhaps sometime, every now and again, but not that often. If my partner were to gain a bit of weight during the relationship, it would be a fun bonus- but really it’s up to her. If she wants to lose the weight I’d be as supportive of her as possible. 

I could probably go my whole life in relationships without any of this stuff and it not having any bearing on our lives to be honest- the main reason I made this thread was so that I could gage whether it would be worth telling them or not. As I said earlier, my preferences for the most part are actually pretty vanilla.  

Right  now my stance seems to be-

If they seem very open and open to trying out new things, then I might tell them. 

If not, and perhaps they didn’t feel so great about themselves, then I’d leave all this at the front door. 

Hope this helped clear up my position 🙂

[NocturnalDevotion CLIPS]

I'm still confused by the "I like thin girls" "I like weight gain thing" like do you like thin girls or chubby girls? And if you are attracted to to thin girls you realize they aren't going to stay thin if they gain weight? Right? Or are you just less specific in your preferences than I am?

I'm just saying, I've been reading weight gain stories for years and been really active on FF and here Curvage for 5 months and I still don't really get it, so it will be hard to explain to women who are unfamiliar with it. Women tend to think thin=runway model, curvy and chubby  have no definition any more because they can be used to mean anything, and fat is like 300-400 hundered pounds.

*** Though some girls think of themselves as fat if they gain 10 lbs.***

So I think it's really important to figure out exactly what you are looking for. Most women tend to gain 10-20 lbs in a long term relationship anyway so in that case I agree with the guy who said "treat yourself you deserve it"* "I love to see you enjoy yourself" type thing.*- I find that a very sexy and romantic thing to say.

And then the food play.  But ****It will be hard to change her eating habits once she starts indulging more****it is difficult to maintain a particular weight, that's why so many people are overweight, it's a slippery slope. Encourage too much and she will be very confused when you tell her she got too fat.

***The scene in "9 and a half weeks" where they are eating strawberries and whipped cream is very sexy. So that would be a great introduction and not too fattening but still can be messy which many men like visually.*** Vs. "Eat this whole cheesecake on your knees"- if you open that door forget about under 200lbs.

From your description of what you like I don't know where I would personally fit in in your range, slightly pudgy, or too chubby. My point is women will have a hard time understanding what you are trying to say when you explain your limit or ideal because of the ways so many of those words are used interchangeably, which isn't your fault. ***Just please God don't EVER say anything about her is "average".***

***Last point, women gain weight differently! **** Sadly most women don't fill out their lower body as much as what your preference seems to be from your description. I hate that ,because every woman would gain if the weight would go there, I know I would! Some will gain all in the belly, which would make the butt actually look smaller. So I would advise to be really careful about the body type they already have, sometimes you can kind of predict where it will go, but not always.

Sorry, real last point- the stuff I personally fantasize about has some strong humiliation themes, when anything like some of those fantasies happens in real life it is incredibly painful for me to see. Totally different case!* So I feel like even if you do get your dream girl you will still have to use your imagination, which is great because you can turn it off***

ALSO- too tight clothes will make pretty much anyone look like they gained! Very good illusion, I use it in most all of my videos. If you look at the stills from "Bimbo Pig Potion" you wouldn't believe me that I didn't gain. Not trying to advertise its just the best example. So you can get the illusion of weight gain and feeding with all that stuff and if she likes it then she can go from there before she makes changes that are hard to reverse. Losing weight sucks and I hate trying to do it, so does everyone else. 

So I say: show the movie- it's old as hell but one if the closest things to Viagra for women, strawberries and whipped cream feeding, you let her feed you as well but show how much more you enjoy watching her eat, buy her some too tight lingerie and when she puts it on go on and on about how sexy she is in it. Lingerie from Ali Express is usually very cheap and small. It just takes a few months to come. Maybe enough time into the relationship that she won't be weirded out by you buying her lingerie lol. 

I hope you will find this information somewhat practical and useful.💖

[Garlic]

I guess what it comes down to is I like a Big Mac, macaroni, pizza, salad, chicken, ice cream, bulgur, rice, curry, chocolate and many many more foods.

I like all of them even though many of those foods aren’t that similar.

People can enjoy weight gain, thin chicks, chubby ones etc etc. We don’t have to like only one thing.

[Guest bobbington]

58 minutes ago, NogutNoglory said:

I'm still confused by the "I like thin girls" "I like weight gain thing" like do you like thin girls or chubby girls? And if you are attracted to to thin girls you realize they aren't going to stay thin if they gain weight? Right? Or are you just less specific in your preferences than I am?

I'd say less specific. Without being too crude, I'd say I range from not-skin-and-bones to the upper limit of what "normal" people call thicc. For me personally, it depends how they wear it- especially in the face, which can completely recontextualise everything else, if that makes sense. (And  of course, personality's really important. If you're funny and interesting then who cares? I have my limits of course, but I think personality is definitely a really big deciding factor.) Not sure if that helped, but I think thats the best I can do. 

Quote

***Last point, women gain weight differently! **** Sadly most women don't fill out their lower body as much as what your preference seems to be from your description. I hate that ,because every woman would gain if the weight would go there, I know I would! Some will gain all in the belly, which would make the butt actually look smaller. So I would advise to be really careful about the body type they already have, sometimes you can kind of predict where it will go, but not always.

Yes, that's definitely something that's been on mind. I can't imagine how awful it would be for someone and their partner if they gained weight for them only to look (in their eyes at least) worse than before. 

Quote

From your description of what you like I don't know where I would personally fit in in your range, slightly pudgy, or too chubby. My point is women will have a hard time understanding what you are trying to say when you explain your limit or ideal because of the ways so many of those words are used interchangeably, which isn't your fault. ***Just please God don't EVER say anything about her is "average".***

I'd say you're probably somewhere around the upper limit, if that helps. And thank GOD I'm not the only one who thought this lol. It's so hard to accurately describe these things.. "Curvy" is definitely the worst offender, by a long shot.

Quote

So I think it's really important to figure out exactly what you are looking for. Most women tend to gain 10-20 lbs in a long term relationship anyway so in that case I agree with the guy who said "treat yourself you deserve it"* "I love to see you enjoy yourself" type thing.*- I find that a very sexy and romantic thing to say.

And then the food play.  But ****It will be hard to change her eating habits once she starts indulging more****it is difficult to maintain a particular weight, that's why so many people are overweight, it's a slippery slope. Encourage too much and she will be very confused when you tell her she got too fat.

***The scene in "9 and a half weeks" where they are eating strawberries and whipped cream is very sexy. So that would be a great introduction and not too fattening but still can be messy which many men like visually.*** Vs. "Eat this whole cheesecake on your knees"- if you open that door forget about under 200lbs.

That makes sense. Gentle encouragement and moderation seems to be the way. 

Quote

Sorry, real last point- the stuff I personally fantasize about has some strong humiliation themes, when anything like some of those fantasies happens in real life it is incredibly painful for me to see. Totally different case!* So I feel like even if you do get your dream girl you will still have to use your imagination, which is great because you can turn it off***

ALSO- too tight clothes will make pretty much anyone look like they gained! Very good illusion, I use it in most all of my videos. If you look at the stills from "Bimbo Pig Potion" you wouldn't believe me that I didn't gain. Not trying to advertise its just the best example. So you can get the illusion of weight gain and feeding with all that stuff and if she likes it then she can go from there before she makes changes that are hard to reverse. Losing weight sucks and I hate trying to do it, so does everyone else. 

So I say: show the movie- it's old as hell but one if the closest things to Viagra for women, strawberries and whipped cream feeding, you let her feed you as well but show how much more you enjoy watching her eat, buy her some too tight lingerie and when she puts it on go on and on about how sexy she is in it. Lingerie from Ali Express is usually very cheap and small. It just takes a few months to come. Maybe enough time into the relationship that she won't be weirded out by you buying her lingerie lol. 

I hope you will find this information somewhat practical and useful.💖

Thank you for all the great advice on here, I really appreciate it. I think you're definitely right about certain aspects of these things not being so attractive in real life. But again, thank you for contributing. I've learnt so much stuff from this thread that'll really help in the future. 

[chubbybutt22]

Dude. If 125 pounds is your “upper limit” I think you’re just a normal guy with normal preferences. You don’t like super skinny girls, that doesn’t make you an FA. 
 

I think maybe you’re just into stuffing. 

[Guest thefakegumdrop]

16 hours ago, NogutNoglory said:

I do have to say that I am lucky as a female fat admirer, most guys are like “oh that means you really want to have sex with me!? Ok ,Sweet!!!”
 

I told my husband within the first few minutes of meeting because he was very insecure about his weight and asked right away why I was interested in him. I met him at a restaurant that I worked at, I was too shy to say anything directly to him, but he was there for a highschool reunion with a girl I used to work with, so before she left I told her to tell him “I would like to have sex with him at his earliest convenience “ . I don’t think she actually told him that because she probably thought “who says that?” Lol. But she gave me his number because she said he would be too shy to call me. So I texted him to hang out. When he first entered my apartment he asked me what attracted me to him. I’m super super upfront so I told him that I liked fat guys and thought he was really hot, at first he was painfully shy but as he felt more comfortable he opened up and he is an incredible person with infinite patience and now we have been together for 8 years and married for 2. 

It is so rewarding to see how much more confident he has become, growing up, and even up until right before we met his father had him on a bunch of crazy fad diets and I think he really felt that is weight held him back from life and that he wouldn’t be accepted by anyone even though he really is gorgeous! Think Micheal Pitt with smaller lips.

So to me, that’s the best thing ever, to love and accept someone how they are and actually be super attracted to them and help them feel better. I hate to say this but I have a problem with feeders because:

A. Do you like fat/chubby girls or not? Date a real bigger girl! The whole “I want to date a skinny girl and fatten her sneakily makes me sick, I’m sorry, I’m sure that is a very unpopular opinion on here but hopefully someone gets why that is weird. I don’t think FAs and feeders are as closely related as people think. I don’t believe feeders are real FAs because they are still attracted to thin people and are more about changing the girl than anything. I don’t get the fascination with the fattening part there are SO many chubby/fat women, why on earth would you artificially make one? A huge deal to me is if someone was fat as a child as like my husband was. Then I feel they are meant to be bigger people naturally. The idea of intentional gaining is not sexy to me at all, in a fantasy it’s different but in real life I couldn’t get into it.

B. Whats the difference between telling me I should be thinner or I should be fatter? (Secret: there is NO difference) having been into tattoos and fantasy colored hair since I was 13, you don’t  know how many guys have said stuff like “ you would be hot if you dressed normal, dyed your hair a natural color etc”. My husband didn’t get why it was such a big deal to me, but when I told him about me being on fat fetish websites he told me he had a subscription to Suicide Girls and to me it is one of my most cerished moments ever because I knew I was his ideal. To me the idea of not being someone’s ideal partner physically is too horrifying to bear.
 

Some women are not as crazy about their appearance as I am, but to me it is one of the very few things in this world that we actually have control over, so someone trying to steal that from me would be one of the biggest violations imaginable. Also if my husband was into something like this and didn’t tell me I would be so incredibly  pissed off at him for keeping it from me.
 

So I guess to sum it up, I absolutely love and understand being pretty much only attracted to fat people, because that’s how I am. But I can not understand wanting to “ruin” someone’s “perfect” body. I feel that it’s just one more way that men try to control women and tell them that they aren’t good enough as they are. I just really don’t understand why if someone was attracted to fat women why they wouldn’t just date already fat women and instead try to trick a thin girl into getting fat. Hopefully someone understands what I’m trying to say. I feel bad that I have such a judgmental and negative view of feederism because the fetishes are lumped together so often, shouldn’t I be able to relate and understand? I’ve thought about it everyday and I’m no closer to wrapping my mind around it than I was to start with. I really thought FAs were the majority and for most people the feeding and gaining thing was more of a fantasy. Also people trying to push me to gain has HUGELY turned me off of feeders. *I get fantasizing about many of the themes feeders do I just don’t get why they feel justified pushing it on other people or acting out every fantasy in real life.*

I know I wrote a book, but I’ve had a few men be very curious about how I thought because FFAs are so rare so I thought you guys may find it interesting.
 

Also if you are thinking “why are you here if you don’t want to gain?” In short (not to sound too cocky) because I’m too hot and spent WAY too much money on my appearance (we are talking at least 30,000 for 3 boob jobs and extensive tattoo work) not to model and I’m too fat to be a regular model. And I am into the community, I’ve just been shocked by the levels to which people take stuff.

Thanks so much for clarifying that! In my case, knowing that someone gained weight simply as a result of getting older is a bit of a turn on, but I have always gone for chubby/fat girls. Lol, my wife always says “you really do like fat girls” to which I always respond “yes, that’s why I follow mostly chubby or fat girls on Instagram”.

i don’t get why someone would want to sneakily fatten up someone... that’s super weird and creepy. However, if someone wanted to do it of their own volition, I have ZERO problem with that of course. To me, being an FA is much more about embracing people’s freedom to be whoever they are and that’s really liberating.

[PotBelly]

4 hours ago, NogutNoglory said:

I'm still confused by the "I like thin girls" "I like weight gain thing" like do you like thin girls or chubby girls? And if you are attracted to to thin girls you realize they aren't going to stay thin if they gain weight? Right? Or are you just less specific in your preferences than I am?

I'm just saying, I've been reading weight gain stories for years and been really active on FF and here Curvage for 5 months and I still don't really get it, so it will be hard to explain to women who are unfamiliar with it. Women tend to think thin=runway model, curvy and chubby  have no definition any more because they can be used to mean anything, and fat is like 300-400 hundered pounds.

*** Though some girls think of themselves as fat if they gain 10 lbs.***

So I think it's really important to figure out exactly what you are looking for. Most women tend to gain 10-20 lbs in a long term relationship anyway so in that case I agree with the guy who said "treat yourself you deserve it"* "I love to see you enjoy yourself" type thing.*- I find that a very sexy and romantic thing to say.

That's a good point about the way a lot of women look at being "fat." I've know many who are around 5"4 110 lbs, put on 10 and think it's the end of the world. While the girl next to her who has always been about 180 and 5"9 thinks she's nuts.

It all depends on the person and what you're looking for too, because like NoGutNoGlory says, not everyone is going to like or understand everything. If you meet someone who does, then they're likely to understand and hopefully, for you, even enjoy it too. So it's not weird for you both then. If it's something important to you and the other person makes you feel weird for it, you have to ask yourself if it's important enough to you and if you're with the right person. But again, it's down to preference. I think everyone has a "weird" kink or fetish, if they're aware of it or not. And at worst, fantasy, as long as it stays fantasy didn't hurt anyone. 

I don't understand nor am I attracted to feederism or BBW, for example. But that's ok. I suppose I could find it weird, but if it's what others like and are consenting too then there's nothing really weird about it. It's just society telling us certain things outside of the norm are things we should be ashamed of. You'd be surprised by how many people struggle with that and will be relieved when you open about your own preferences. 

But yeah, you just have to know what you want and what makes you happy, because it's always down to the person. I don't partake in a lot of what this site is created for, but it caters for my niche. My physical preference is under 200, more chubby - although my perfect is a skinny girl with a belly and butt - some people here might find that confusing, even though it's closer to "normal". When I met my girlfriend she was skinny as a rake. I wasn't too attracted to her physically, but I loved being around her and she got me. The attraction grew from there and even though she didn't fit the body type I'm usually into, I gradually thought she was the hottest person alive - so not knowing what exactly you want is fine too, but have an idea. It's because she was open and understood we all have quirks and interests though. That's what made us work together. Now, lucky for me, the quarantine has made her gain probably 20 or 30 pounds and it's all going to the belly, which I like - so I'm being blessed for some reason. Sadly, she thinks the opposite and probably finds my obsession with her stomach weird - explaining it to her is tough. So for now my job is now to just make her comfortable and support her in whatever she wants to do. But mostly, to show her just how beautiful I think she is. 

I have no idea if that made sense or helped. 

[NocturnalDevotion CLIPS]

28 minutes ago, thefakegumdrop said:

Thanks so much for clarifying that! In my case, knowing that someone gained weight simply as a result of getting older is a bit of a turn on, but I have always gone for chubby/fat girls. Lol, my wife always says “you really do like fat girls” to which I always respond “yes, that’s why I follow mostly chubby or fat girls on Instagram”.

i don’t get why someone would want to sneakily fatten up someone... that’s super weird and creepy. However, if someone wanted to do it of their own volition, I have ZERO problem with that of course. To me, being an FA is much more about embracing people’s freedom to be whoever they are and that’s really liberating.

I agree with you! Just please!!!! Do not ask anyone in a PM if they are fat because they are old! Please!!! It's happened to me on FF and I was livid! You seem way smarter than that but still!

[NocturnalDevotion CLIPS]

18 minutes ago, PotBelly said:

although my perfect is a skinny girl with a belly and butt 

See!!! I'm not the only one who has a set ideal!!! I really do think it's b.s. when people say it's all about personality. I want to circle this in red and jump up and down and point to it because I totally get having a "perfect"! 

1 hour ago, chubbybutt22 said:

Dude. If 125 pounds is your “upper limit” I think you’re just a normal guy with normal preferences. You don’t like super skinny girls, that doesn’t make you an FA. 

I hate to put a photo but I also think it's hard to find photos with the way the profiles are set up. And photos help more than numbers.

I'm only 5'1 so take that into consideration but I would say the middle photo is probably closer to your ideal then,

 

which is the weight I was when I met my husband (not an FA) and prior to that dated other guys at that weight and no one considered me "chubby" to my knowledge, I think that is probably how most human adult women look, unfortunately I have that stupid belly crease even at 115 which makes me look much chubbier. 

I'm just posting that so people reading this have context and don't have to click around a lot.

[PotBelly]

49 minutes ago, NogutNoglory said:

See!!! I'm not the only one who has a set ideal!!! I really do think it's b.s. when people say it's all about personality. I want to circle this in red and jump up and down and point to it because I totally get having a "perfect"! 

I hate to put a photo but I also think it's hard to find photos with the way the profiles are set up. And photos help more than numbers.

I'm only 5'1 so take that into consideration but I would say the middle photo is probably closer to your ideal then,

 

which is the weight I was when I met my husband (not an FA) and prior to that dated other guys at that weight and no one considered me "chubby" to my knowledge, I think that is probably how most human adult women look, unfortunately I have that stupid belly crease even at 115 which makes me look much chubbier. 

I'm just posting that so people reading this have context and don't have to click around a lot.

I can back you up. I have a friend who is a tiny framed girl at 5"0. She's been around 100/105 since I've known her, she says. I hadn't seen her for for a while as she's been with her fiance a lot but we met up just before the quarantine. I gave her a hug and as I always say when I see her "you're so tiny." She said "not anymore." Took off her coat and patted a very visible and almost pregnant looking belly bulge. You could tell it was a quick gain too because her button up shirt was way too small now. But anyway she looked pretty chunky and when I said "you couldn't have gained that much weight" she said she was now at around 120, which for someone her size was considered practically overweight. She looked stunning, but yeah, for her height and frame that definitely wasn't in the "normal" range. 

My girlfriend is 5"4 and if I showed you a photo you'd say she had a pretty big beer belly now, but she's still only around 120. 

And to go back to personalities, it's definitely a huge part of it, as I discovered there. But like I said, I had to gradually become physically attracted to her, but if I met her for the first time right now, filled out more, I'd want her in a second. Depending on your sexuality, personality can be the main factor of course, but even then I don't think anyone ever looked at someone on here and their first thought was "that's a hot personality." It would be cool but I don't think that's how we are on the surface. We all have a preference in one way or another. 

[NocturnalDevotion CLIPS]

5 minutes ago, PotBelly said:

I can back you up. I have a friend who is a tiny framed girl at 5"0. She's been around 100/105 since I've known her, she says. I hadn't seen her for for a while as she's been with her fiance a lot but we met up just before the quarantine. I gave her a hug and as I always say when I see her "you're so tiny." She said "not anymore." Took off her coat and patted an very visible and almost pregnant looking belly bulge. You could tell it was a quick gain too because he button up shirt was way too small now. But anyway she looked pretty chunky and when I said "you couldn't have gained that much weight" she said she was now at around 120, which for someone her size was considered practically overweight. She looked stunning, but yeah, for her height and frame that definitely wasn't in the "normal" range. 

My girlfriend is 5"4 and if I showed you a photo you'd say she had a pretty big beer belly now, but she's still only around 120. 

And to go back to personalities, it's definitely a huge part of it, as I discovered there. But like I said, I had to gradually become physically attracted to her, but if I met her for the first time right now, filled out more, I'd want her in a second. Depending on your sexuality, personality can be the main factor of course, but even then I don't think anyone ever looked at someone on here and their first thought was "that's a hot personality." It would be cool but I don't think that's how we are on the surface. 

Do I look pregnant to you? Damn, on here I'm thinking I'm on the smaller side of chubby, but am I wrong?

[PotBelly]

1 hour ago, NogutNoglory said:

Do I look pregnant to you? Damn, on here I'm thinking I'm on the smaller side of chubby, but am I wrong?

Lol no, you don't look pregnant. You've definitely got it more evenly distributed than my friend. Her shape was very unique. It seems to be common with some people I know for some reason where it goes straight to their stomaches before anywhere else. You're not even what I consider chubby, personally. But you look stunning either way. 

[Guest bobbington]

2 hours ago, NogutNoglory said:

See!!! I'm not the only one who has a set ideal!!! I really do think it's b.s. when people say it's all about personality. I want to circle this in red and jump up and down and point to it because I totally get having a "perfect"! 

Oh right lol, probably could have been clearer on that. What I meant was, if I enjoy hanging around with them and get to know them etc. then weight and whatnot is less important. I mean, if I had to give an exact ideal, it’d probably be the everymans idea of “thicc”, maybe with a bit of extra pudge, like a muffin top and that type of thing (though preferably a thin face). And of course, I’m a leg man, so that’s a factor too. 

2 hours ago, NogutNoglory said:

No, in those pictures I definitely wouldn’t say you’re at my upper limit and both the middle and right images are within my limit. (And no by the way to that question you asked about another comment, you don’t look pregnant). 

4 hours ago, chubbybutt22 said:

Dude. If 125 pounds is your “upper limit” I think you’re just a normal guy with normal preferences. You don’t like super skinny girls, that doesn’t make you an FA. 
 

I think maybe you’re just into stuffing. 

I know my preferences definitely go higher than 120 lb (though obviously height is a factor) but i do think that they’re not as “out there” as I first thought they were, which, to be honest, is something I’m grateful for. 

And thank you PotBelly, there’s a lot of good advice there too, and I do relate a lot with what you said. I’ll try my best to follow that mindset. 

[NocturnalDevotion CLIPS]

11 minutes ago, bobbington said:

my preferences definitely go higher than 120 lb (though obviously height is a factor) but i do think that they’re not as “out there” as I first thought they were, which, to be honest, is something I’m grateful for. 

And thank you PotBelly, there’s a lot of good advice there too, and I do relate a lot with what you said. I’ll try my best to follow that mindset. 

Partially advertising is to blame for telling you that  you should be getting a hard on for Victoria's Secret models and runway models, that last few VS shows mostly had runway models. No Tyra  Banks anymore!  

Which, thank God you aren't atractted to because how many women in the world do you think actually look like that? If you needed a VS model look alike to date you would not be in luck because  they are in short supply!

[Guest grateful]

Love this thread.

We want to understand and be understood. I think people are complex.

I think I would pick "your mileage may vary"  over "one size fits all".

I think we don't get to the end of trying to understand, in any area of life,  but it is magnificent that we try!!!!   😁❤️

 

[Guest Mr Froggy]

On 9/11/2020 at 2:34 AM, NogutNoglory said:

 But I can not understand wanting to “ruin” someone’s “perfect” body. I feel that it’s just one more way that men try to control women and tell them that they aren’t good enough as they are. I just really don’t understand why if someone was attracted to fat women why they wouldn’t just date already fat women and instead try to trick a thin girl into getting fat. 

I feel you but it doesn't always necessarily involve such implicit misogyny imo.  

Those who wish to "destroy" a perfect body may be doing it from a desire to "bring a girl down to their level" rather than project some feeling that they think she "isn't good enough how she is" etc. 

I think the way my mind works for example is I subconsciously find the idea of a cute girl being a bit pudgy really endearing.  It's like a really humanising flaw on an otherwise empirically perfect, unrelatble human.  There is something about heterosexual male psychology that is attracted to female imperfection and vulnerability;   the juggernaut law and whatnot.  This manifests in different ways but for many FAs it's in the "flaw" of knowing this girl has this quirk about her which lowers her SMV in a way which "only you" are not bothered by. 

There's also sadly those people who are FAs and become feeders out of pragmatism.   For many skinnier or less masculine FA men, it's actually easier to get an 'awkwardly skinny' girlfriend and then gradually 'turn her fat' than it is to just get an equally facially pretty chubby girlfriend.   Pretty, fat girls are actually in quite short supply and high demand;  probably because they're more fertile looking and 'attractive' than less curvy, plainer women. 

 

I really admire your purist stance on aesthetics though.  Having a specific type and sticking to it doesn't mean you're "shallow" or have "high standards" and I hate when people try to claim it does.   I know every time I've been involved with a girl who wasn't my "ideal type" (short, 140-180lb, potbellied, long haired brunette)... my eye has wandered.   I suppose this then opens up a wider discussion point though over which fetishes/aesthetic preferences are actually "problematic" because they are based in presumed domination etc. 

[NocturnalDevotion CLIPS]

On 9/24/2020 at 11:28 PM, Mr Froggy said:

I really admire your purist stance on aesthetics though.  Having a specific type and sticking to it doesn't mean you're "shallow" or have "high standards" and I hate when people try to claim it does.   I know every time I've been involved with a girl who wasn't my "ideal type" (short, 140-180lb, potbellied, long haired brunette)... my eye has wandered.   I suppose this then opens up a wider discussion point though over which fetishes/aesthetic preferences are actually "problematic" because they are based in presumed domination etc. 

Thank you!!! This is funny but I actually learned that from not only experience but "Millionaire Matchmaker", she would really emphasize immediate physical attraction. Which tends to be looked down upon, like that's bad and shallow. But I think it's much worse to be always looking at other women and wishing your significant other looked like them, even cruel actually. 

@bobbington- This has been going around in my mind since you started this thread- what do you think you are expected to find attractive? Like, do you really think all non FA men are only attracted to women as thin as super models? Kim Kardashian is the most famous woman in the world solely for her looks and she sounds very much like your type. Why would that be weird to find her body type attractive? I'm guessing maybe you are young and the girls your age are in sports and very toned and thin and that is who your friends are dating? Or maybe you see girls getting dragged by guys on Instagram for having an ounce of body fat? Or is that not why you feel the fetish is weird, it's more the feeding? You can tell I've thought way too much about this! 

[Guest bobbington]

8 hours ago, NogutNoglory said:

 

@bobbington- This has been going around in my mind since you started this thread- what do you think you are expected to find attractive? Like, do you really think all non FA men are only attracted to women as thin as super models? Kim Kardashian is the most famous woman in the world solely for her looks and she sounds very much like your type. Why would that be weird to find her body type attractive? I'm guessing maybe you are young and the girls your age are in sports and very toned and thin and that is who your friends are dating? Or maybe you see girls getting dragged by guys on Instagram for having an ounce of body fat? Or is that not why you feel the fetish is weird, it's more the feeding? You can tell I've thought way too much about this! 

Mainly the feeding aspect I think. Also, the fact that I like a bit of fat on a woman (best way I can think to put it is not a fat woman, but a thin woman with fat on her, maybe with a bit of a muffin top, thicker thighs than usual, but still a thin face, etc). Sorry if that was a bit crude, but that’s the best way I can put it. (You’re right about Kim Kardashian, but my preferences go wider- no pun intended- than that. Ashley Graham also falls under my preferences and so would someone with a smaller frame than Kim but with fat in the right places, and then there’s the girls who are pretty thin but I’ve grown crushes on over time anyway... it’s complicated and confusing, I know, but trust me you’re not the only one who’s confused lol)

I think you made a good point with being open about having a type with yourself, and it’s something I’ll try to do in the future, though I’ll admit despite all the talk about body types the biggest thing for me is just a pretty face. Then body type. 

I’ll be honest I think you’re about right about your assumptions (probably a bit of all the above). I don’t really have a big point of reference of what’s normal, if I’m being honest. Most vanilla sites don’t have what I’m looking for, and sites like this have it, but taken too extremes that go past my preferences, which has kind of messed with the way I judge this stuff- and is actually the main reason I started this thread, to get an idea of what’s what. 

Either way, I appreciate the curiosity and discussion going on here and lots of interesting ideas that have really changed the way I look at things. 

 

[tw71]

Hmm... some really interesting comments in this thread.  A few things I hadn't given a lot of thought to before, even.

One thing I can tell you is at least for me? As I've gotten older, I've found my personal preferences for size/weight has gone up. I always liked "thick/curvy" women, but I also found my younger self in some situations where a girl I casually dated was "too big" for my tastes and when things got intimate, it was kind of a turn-off. As a guy in my 40's now, I think my younger self was crazy to turn some of them away like I did.

I think it's probably natural for a person's tastes/preferences to evolve with time -- and maybe even based partially on who you had a long-term or serious relationship with already. (I can see how you'd find a certain body type really attractive, but after you spend years with someone who meets those criteria and then it ends? You're finding a different look/shape much more interesting for a future relationship?)

Also? I think there's a dividing line between what's a "fetish" and what's just a preference. Like most "lines in the sand", it's not an exact science or anything. But I see specific "kinks" related to weight or size as the fetish aspect. Simply finding fat women attractive doesn't mean you have a "fat fetish", IMO.  That would be like saying it's a fetish to prefer red-heads or blondes....

And I'm sure this has been pointed out MANY times on these forums before ... but I'd caution anyone not to count too much on picking an arbitrary weight as your "upper limit" of what you find attractive. I'm a guy who does have a "fetishy" component to my interests in bigger women that's all about the number on the scale. (I find it a big turn on when a woman weighs a lot more than most people would guess she does to look at her, and like to see how heavy someone like that can get before they start looking "really big" to people.)  I can tell you, I've run across women with really large bellies and who just look really chubby all over, yet they don't weigh a whole lot. It's just a "light, fluffy" type of fat, on an apparently smaller bone structure. And by contrast, I've known plenty of women who the typical guy would guess "doesn't weigh more than maybe 175-185lbs.", who actually weighed 240-250. Muscle is more dense than fat, so a more muscular woman can easily weigh 10-15lbs. more than you'd think. But I've also heard that black women tend to have a bone structure that weighs about 15-20% more than white women of the same size. (I've dated inter-racially a lot and at least anecdotally, I'd say that's quite likely true.) I think as a generalization too? It seems to be the case that women with more weight in their lower half (thick legs and big butt) weigh considerably more than those who are more top or belly heavy. (Except for some real extreme cases? Even really large breasts on a woman, like H cup sizes, are probably only going to add 20lbs. to their weight, tops.)

 

 

[Guest bobbington]

@NogutNoglory one more thing before I forget again.. 

You said earlier you don’t get the attraction to weight gain and wanting to “sabotage” a “perfect body”. For me personally, weight gain is the opposite of that. Weight gain is about being able to pamper and make sure you’re partner is well looked after, to let them indulge themselves. I guess a bit of hedonistic element comes into play too. I get that by other people’s standards it might be sabotage, but personally I’m not particularly attracted to the idea of other people gradually finding them unattractive. The range I’m attracted to isn’t very big, (unless they wear it well) but it is still something I’m very much attracted too. 

[NocturnalDevotion CLIPS]

8 hours ago, bobbington said:

@NogutNoglory one more thing before I forget again.. 

You said earlier you don’t get the attraction to weight gain and wanting to “sabotage” a “perfect body”. For me personally, weight gain is the opposite of that. Weight gain is about being able to pamper and make sure you’re partner is well looked after, to let them indulge themselves. I guess a bit of hedonistic element comes into play too. I get that by other people’s standards it might be sabotage, but personally I’m not particularly attracted to the idea of other people gradually finding them unattractive. The range I’m attracted to isn’t very big, (unless they wear it well) but it is still something I’m very much attracted too. 

If there was a reaction button that was beyond “love”, that would be the reaction I would give this. Here, I’ll make one💕💕💕💕💕🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉💗💗💗💗

[AGirlWhoLikesToEat CLIPS]

Biologically speaking, being attracted to thicker women or women weight gaining, is one of the most natural fetishes out there and would have been the dream of many/still is the dream of many men. In hunter gatherer societies and historically, in order to gain weight you had to be very wealthy. It was a privilege ,a symbol of status. Even more primitively weight is an energy sink. Women with weight were able to survive better and reproduce in times of famine and hardship, therefore making fat attractive.

Like any fetish there are extremes which fall outside the realm of what would have been possible in previous societies, but it definitely 100% has a strong biological component. North American society has gone up and down with its relationship with fat, but in other parts of the world people still say "nice and fat" as a compliment. They are saying you look good, healthy and prosperous.

I dont think that you should feel bad of weird for finding fat, stuffing or gaining sexy, as long as you arent pressuring your partner. I think the point of contention is when the gains start to impact your mobility and health...at that point there are many considerations to make.

IMO if you told a girl "I think you belly is sexy" then told her why "because its soft, like titties and thighs etc" it like something out of their dreams XD There is so much pressure for women to stay thing, to tell someone that you think curves are beautiful can truly be profound.

And about being into stuffings, that can also go under the biological compulsion to provide. Providing a lot of food for the family was the primary job of a man for literally TENS OF THOUSANDS of years.

Anywhoo that's just my two cents

[Lysterfiend]

1 hour ago, AGirlWhoLikesToEat said:

Biologically speaking, being attracted to thicker women or women weight gaining, is one of the most natural fetishes out there and would have been the dream of many/still is the dream of many men. In hunter gatherer societies and historically, in order to gain weight you had to be very wealthy. It was a privilege ,a symbol of status. Even more primitively weight is an energy sink. Women with weight were able to survive better and reproduce in times of famine and hardship, therefore making fat attractive.

Like any fetish there are extremes which fall outside the realm of what would have been possible in previous societies, but it definitely 100% has a strong biological component. North American society has gone up and down with its relationship with fat, but in other parts of the world people still say "nice and fat" as a compliment. They are saying you look good, healthy and prosperous.

I dont think that you should feel bad of weird for finding fat, stuffing or gaining sexy, as long as you arent pressuring your partner. I think the point of contention is when the gains start to impact your mobility and health...at that point there are many considerations to make.

IMO if you told a girl "I think you belly is sexy" then told her why "because its soft, like titties and thighs etc" it like something out of their dreams XD There is so much pressure for women to stay thing, to tell someone that you think curves are beautiful can truly be profound.

And about being into stuffings, that can also go under the biological compulsion to provide. Providing a lot of food for the family was the primary job of a man for literally TENS OF THOUSANDS of years.

Anywhoo that's just my two cents

Dude I love this. Thank you so much for this!!! 

[AGirlWhoLikesToEat CLIPS]

7 hours ago, Lysterfiend said:

Dude I love this. Thank you so much for this!!! 

Hehehe no problem! Dont worry its natural :D