Are male fat-admirers primarily Incels?

[Guest Mr Froggy]

This is a thought that's been rumbling around my head for about 10 years.

I don't mean to offend or label anyone individually here; I'm just looking to see if my anecdotal observations and theories line up with other peoples perceptions.

I will admit, part of this is my own' projection' - as I recognise what I'm about to say may have applied to myself when I was younger, scrawnier and less experienced with women G and it makes me wonder now 'why' myself and others ever 'fell' into this fetish in first place.

 

So here goes -

 

It is my belief that a disproportionate number of people into 'Fat Fetishism' / admiration / feederism / belly fetish etc are 'Incels'. Or to use a less politically charged term, "chronically single, physically unattractive men" .

Even more specifically: men who are unattractive in that stereotypically 'incel' way of having a meek, unmasculine face with poor symmetry and likely an underdeveloped body.  When I say 'disproportionately' - I mean, there's more men like that in our fetish than many other fetishes. 

I realise sites like Curvage and (specifically) FF have a large number of visible BHM type men who understandably also find larger women attractive - but I expect the majority of members are slim, unattractive male lurkers.

 

My main logic is: overweight women are an increasing norm in society. In relative terms its not 'hard' for a man to aquire an overweight girlfriend in real life. Certainly easier than getting a 'curvy but in-shape one' (all else being equal). This leads me to wonder who are the typical 'type' of men who are incapable of getting a chubby girlfriend... and thus must venture online to get their fetish fix?

I imagine primarily this is men who can't really get any girl at all.

For example - a man with an 'aggressive deep throat' fetish may just have a wife or girlfriend who isn't into it... so he goes online to scratch his fetish itch. But a fat girl is fat 24/7; she's ALWAYS fulfilling your kink... just by existing. If you had your own... you'd have much less of a need to be consuming such material online.

(I won't argue the point above is 100% true in all cases... as personally I've been in relationships with chubby girls and STILL secretly watched chubby porn during the relationship... but it's definitely true that I consume a LOT more of it when I'm not seeing anyone).

 

 

Also - YouTube and other comment sections are often full of 'Simpy' comments and behaviour; suggesting that many men into 'belly girls' have less sexual experience than typical 'porn' consumers.   Just little things like asking 'permission' to ask a belly girl a question ("Excuse me miss, you are looking very beautiful today. I was wondering if I could trouble you to ask a question? How much do you weigh? *blinks nervously*") and things like calling even objectively well below-average girls overzealous things like 'utterly beautiful goddesses' and whatnot.

This isn't the behavior of men who get action in the real world.

It also seems to describe every guy you see in magazine articles who is the feeder/partner of a massive, 300-500lb+ feedee woman. The men all look like total genetic dregs. None of them look remotely on the 'Chad' spectrum.

 

 

I think there's another angle too: What would subconsciously make a person 'into' girls being overweight in the first place? Is it subconsciously because FA guys consider fat a 'flaw' that makes big girls more 'attainable'? (And thus sexually relatable?).

Do many of us FA guys subconsciously consider themselves 'unworthy' of a slim woman... and have therefore developed a sexual fixation on the thought of a 'bodily flawed' yet still facially-attractive partner?

Or is it that if you're a guy with a skinny or physically underdeveloped 'manlet' body ; your sex drive could be 'subconsciously overcompensating' by silently telling you to find overweight women attractive? If she has 'fat genes' then they'd probably be a good match for your skinny ones if you ever have a child?

 

Pressing questions all.

 

I'm choosing to ask this on Curvage as you guys seem to be the most rational and intelligent. If I asked it on FF, I'd probably be beset by BHMs abusing me - and if I asked it on DeviantArt or Tumblr, I'd probably be assaulted by the extreme body-positivity crowd.

 

Curious to know people's thoughts. 

[John Smith]

Are nerds primarily Joker-costuming mad shooters?

 

[Guest Mr Froggy]

1 minute ago, John Smith said:

Are nerds primarily Joker-costuming mad shooters?

That's quite the extreme comparison.  

No mainstream sexual or social community is primarily comprised of murderers. 

I'm asking are online fat fetish communities primarily populated by unattractive male lurkers who have little experience with women.

[Guest Ex-Jock]

This is interesting, and I have noticed a similar trend.  Some are particularly nasty and often notice people in the FA community talk pretty spitefully towards fat women.  I think it just comes down to that for the longest time, and still today despite the big body pos movement, fat women are not seen as "conventionally attractive"  (I know, right?).  This leads to a lot of dudes online thinking that they are doing woman a favor or a type of charity just by being interested in a fat woman.  Those same type of people are the ones that get even more upset and nasty when they are subsequently rejected.  The people that treat people equally have much better luck than those that think they're above anyone and doing us all a favor by being an FA

[Guest Mr Froggy]

Just now, John Smith said:

 

I said Incel at the top as mild clickbate and I see it worked!  

I was using the term in its original, vanilla form (sans political implications).  Literally an involuntarily celibate male;  a chronically single male  who wishes he wasn't. 

As for stereotyping and kink-shaming... I also said at the top that this theory also somewhat applies to me.   I too have this kink...and for a good portion of my 20s I was a chronically single, scrawny lurker male. 

So there's really no need to get so offended... Unless I touched a nerve you weren't quite ready to get so introspective over?

[Guest Mr Froggy]

11 minutes ago, Ex-Jock said:

This is interesting, and I have noticed a similar trend.  Some are particularly nasty and often notice people in the FA community talk pretty spitefully towards fat women.  I think it just comes down to that for the longest time, and still today despite the big body pos movement, fat women are not seen as "conventionally attractive"  (I know, right?).  This leads to a lot of dudes online thinking that they are doing woman a favor or a type of charity just by being interested in a fat woman.  Those same type of people are the ones that get even more upset and nasty when they are subsequently rejected.  The people that treat people equally have much better luck than those that think they're above anyone and doing us all a favor by being an FA

I've noticed that a lot on YouTube and Tumblr, specifically.  Many times girls will be harassed, stalked and doxed by their followers,  leading to them quitting the scene.   

These guys start out simpy but as they get closer, they get given an inch and take a mile.  They'll make increasing demands, violate boundaries and then turn sleuth and dox a girl in revenge for IRL rejection. 

 

I'm not saying this particular subset of men comprise the majority of the type of dudes I was initially talking about - though that does accurately describe the worst minority of them. 

[Guest FeederDave]

“Incel” is a online term used by women to shame men, usually when a man has the upper hand in an argument. They don’t actually exist. 
and the ones who exist on forums like Incel.me or whatever have a deeper problem than “not getting laid” — that is not a mark of value, it exists solely in a sexually liberated society. 
 

1 hour ago, technic3 said:

What would subconsciously make a person 'into' girls being overweight in the first place? Is it subconsciously because FA guys consider fat a 'flaw' that makes big girls more 'attainable'?

A Fat Fetish. 🙄

[Garlic]

I’m moving the politics chat to the abyss because it’s descending into an unhelpful argument.

Incels are lonely guys, not a terrorist group. Stay on topic please

[fmlsalmon]

Okay, despite the fact that most of your “evidence” is just personal anecdotes and what seems to be projection, I’m going to treat this like a genuine question. 

And to that I say, I don’t really know. I haven’t yet met any FAs in real life that I could talk this out with and compare experiences, so I can only offer my own. 

While I’m no “Chad” I’m definitely very far from an incel. Although, that depends on what you consider a “Chad” to be. Is he someone that is a perfect aryan specimen that can pick any woman he wants? Or is he just someone who’s good with women? Because, despite the fact that I technically fit your physical incel description of having a “meek face and having an underdeveloped body” I have no problem with women, fat and slim alike. 

For example, my first girlfriend was a very “conventionally attractive” woman. Small, petite, with beautiful features. You get the picture. She confessed her love to me one day and we dated for 3 years. Despite the fact that straight out of high school a beautiful, conventionally attractive woman practically fell into my lap, I still thought about fat women. It never left me. I still had bbw and ssbbw content stored in my phone. 

Then when I broke things off with her I decided to dive headfirst into the dating world and found it easy. I usually had a date with someone new once a week. Then after about 3 months of dating both skinny and fat girls alike I found my current girlfriend, who I’ve been dating for more than a year now. 

She weighs more than 300 pounds. And she’s exactly who I want to be with. She’s beautiful, smart, funny, and fat as hell, and I love her a lot. 
 

So no, I don’t really subscribe to the idea that FA’s feel “unworthy” of slim women and would jump at the chance to be with one if they could. I have been with many slim women and found them wanting. They just don’t do anything for me. 

And to your second hypothesis, I don’t really know what to think about that. That’s lot of of “incel” logic you got going there. Do you have any studies to support such a hypothesis or are you just spitballing? 

Finally, if I HAD to point to a cause of my fetish, I would probably blame my parents for trying and failing to make me gain weight. By always telling me that if I didn’t gain weight that no one would love me, or trying to force feed me protein shakes, or constantly pointing out my “flaw” of being skinny. They were wrong of course. There are a lot of girls who like skinny dudes. 
 

This is of course just me, and very well does not represent the rest of the community, but that’s where I would point to how it started. I’m guessing the shame and abuse from my parents eventually resulted in my subconscious dictating that Fat = Good. 

 

[Guest Mr Froggy]

4 minutes ago, fmlsalmon said:

Okay, despite the fact that most of your “evidence” is just personal anecdotes and what seems to be projection, I’m going to treat this like a genuine question.

 

I literally admitted both of those things in my opening statement - so there's really no need to smugly prefix your whole response with it now like you were astute enough to notice on your own. 

Poisoning the well. 

[Guest You're getting fat]

I think it's fair to say that some see fat women as more attainable and have adapted their tastes to that, but I wouldn't even say that's the majority. Some might have their attraction to fat women triggered during childhood, while others, a group I'm included in, are attracted to the taboo aspect and the slow weight gain process. In my case I come from a thin family where fatness was considered something negative, and I have always dated slim girls, but I'm fascinated by weight gain after watching many thin girls slowly stopping being thin, and in some cases becoming outright obese.

[bigorange3]

 

12 hours ago, technic3 said:

I don't mean to offend or label anyone individually here

Surely you understand how you did?

12 hours ago, technic3 said:

Or to use a less politically charged term, "chronically single, physically unattractive men" .

Even more specifically: men who are unattractive in that stereotypically 'incel' way of having a meek, unmasculine face with poor symmetry and likely an underdeveloped body.  When I say 'disproportionately' - I mean, there's more men like that in our fetish than many other fetishes. 

 

??????

12 hours ago, technic3 said:

but I expect the majority of members are slim, unattractive male lurkers.

??????

12 hours ago, technic3 said:

My main logic is: overweight women are an increasing norm in society. In relative terms its not 'hard' for a man to aquire an overweight girlfriend in real life. Certainly easier than getting a 'curvy but in-shape one' (all else being equal). This leads me to wonder who are the typical 'type' of men who are incapable of getting a chubby girlfriend... and thus must venture online to get their fetish fix?

Being a fat woman is hard. Many fat women wish they weren't. That in mind, can you understand how finding a fat woman and fetishizing her fat may be damaging? Can you understand that finding someone who is specifically sexually charged by their fat could be hard even with online dating networks built specifically for the fetish? And on top of finding someone into the same fetish as you, you have to find someone who also checks all the other boxes that make a good partner? The internet is where you can find fetish content that you may not be able to find in real life. 

13 hours ago, technic3 said:

For example - a man with an 'aggressive deep throat' fetish may just have a wife or girlfriend who isn't into it... so he goes online to scratch his fetish itch. But a fat girl is fat 24/7; she's ALWAYS fulfilling your kink... just by existing. If you had your own... you'd have much less of a need to be consuming such material online.

Many women are fat for a billion other reasons than "I want to be." And, even if they are fulfilling your kink, does that make them a great partner automatically? Are there not other important things in a relationship? Also, is it possible that the deep throat guy is just as ugly and genetically deficient as the rest of us?

13 hours ago, technic3 said:

Also - YouTube and other comment sections are often full of 'Simpy' comments and behaviour; suggesting that many men into 'belly girls' have less sexual experience than typical 'porn' consumers.   Just little things like asking 'permission' to ask a belly girl a question ("Excuse me miss, you are looking very beautiful today. I was wondering if I could trouble you to ask a question? How much do you weigh? *blinks nervously*") and things like calling even objectively well below-average girls overzealous things like 'utterly beautiful goddesses' and whatnot.

This happens in every "e-girl community" and is not at all specific to FAs.

13 hours ago, technic3 said:

I think there's another angle too: What would subconsciously make a person 'into' girls being overweight in the first place? Is it subconsciously because FA guys consider fat a 'flaw' that makes big girls more 'attainable'? (And thus sexually relatable?).

If they think this is a flaw, why would they waste their time consuming that content on the internet where the sky is the limit and being "attainable" doesn't matter?

13 hours ago, technic3 said:

Do many of us FA guys subconsciously consider themselves 'unworthy' of a slim woman... and have therefore developed a sexual fixation on the thought of a 'bodily flawed' yet still facially-attractive partner?

If this general line of thinking were true, could someone also go after a "facially flawed" yet "slim" woman? 

13 hours ago, technic3 said:

Or is it that if you're a guy with a skinny or physically underdeveloped 'manlet' body ; your sex drive could be 'subconsciously overcompensating' by silently telling you to find overweight women attractive? If she has 'fat genes' then they'd probably be a good match for your skinny ones if you ever have a child?

Couldn't it be just as likely that, if this line of thinking were true, this "manlet" could also be attracted to super tall, super strong women?

 

Can I also ask what you're hoping to gain from this conversation? The answer to your primary question, "are fat admirers primarily chronically single, physically unattractive men" is ultimately yes or no. What will you do once we find out that answer? Will you try to make the community better with that information?

Not only do I disagree with pretty much everything you said, I wonder why the question would even be asked in the first place. 

[cheddar]

As mind-numbing as it was, I think the political detour in the thread and language used is indicative of the real intent behind posting vis a vis self-justification of the dumb and self-harming pursuit of a sexist ideation of sex as a matter of 'conquest' whereby female agency is used to justify dumb shit and paper over insecurities. Seriously, there are plenty of 'ugly' people in fulfilling relationships. If you're deriving self-worth from pride over who you bang, that's pretty damn sad and honestly, rather primitive.

[fmlsalmon]

8 hours ago, technic3 said:

I literally admitted both of those things in my opening statement - so there's really no need to smugly prefix your whole response with it now like you were astute enough to notice on your own. 

Poisoning the well. 

I reserve the right to be smug over a person who comes into a community and insinuates with no real evidence that the reason we have this kink is because we can’t get laid with “real” women and have to “settle” for fat women.

Not to mention this whole premise relies on the belief that fat women are less than your typical “conventionally attractive” woman. 

I’m sorry if you’ve had some difficulty in the past or present getting laid, but that very much does not describe my experience within this fetish. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest Mr Froggy]

8 minutes ago, fmlsalmon said:

Not to mention this whole premise relies on the belief that fat women are less than your typical “conventionally attractive” woman. 

All else being equal, that is the objective reality of the sexual marketplace.  (Overweight women being worth 'less' than women who are not overweight).  Such a statistical truth is not really up to me or you to redefine,  as it's an aggregate judgement made up of the opinion of every member of our society.

I don't think we need to open the (seperate) can of worms that is the age old 'Subjective vs Objective' beauty debate.  I asked the question here instead of Tumblr to try and avoid such an unhelpful and emotionally-charged tangent.   "oMg, wHo SaId FaT wOmEn ArEnT aS bEuAtiFuL aS tHiN wOmEn!?" etc

 

Also - Despite your attempt at crude critical-thinking one-upmanship at the beginning of your post,  I do appreciate you taking the time to voice your experience.  Your intro might have soured me a little, but I (eventually) did read the whole thing.   Minor point: but acting smug by highlighting a flaw in your opponents argument that they themselves mentioned ahead of their argument doesn't translate into prestige.  

 

OP:

"I realise I'm not a very good mechanic and only have a few months experience... but I'd like to hear other people's opinions on this problem with my car" 

RESPONDANT:

---- "Well... from the phrasing of your question,  I have judged that you appear to be a terrible mechanic... and I suspect you have little experience.... But I'll be gracious and do you the undeserved favour of treating you like your question is still worth respecting..." 

That's what you sound like.  

[Guest Mr Froggy]

4 hours ago, bigorange3 said:

Can I also ask what you're hoping to gain from this conversation? The answer to your primary question, "are fat admirers primarily chronically single, physically unattractive men" is ultimately yes or no. What will you do once we find out that answer? Will you try to make the community better with that information?

Not only do I disagree with pretty much everything you said, I wonder why the question would even be asked in the first place. 

Thanks for your take.   I personally am into stoicism and have a great interest in the cold mechanics of reality.  I don't get personally offended by being told my actions are deterministic;  so I enjoy trying to form reductionist theories that explain seemingly complex, emergent human behaviour. 

I guess I'm trying to intellectually grapple with what might draw people to this fetish specifically.   It is a fetish I have had since before I was even sexually aware,  and I derive subjective pleasure from it,  but there's a part of me that believes it to be objectively degenerate.  

I essentially hope to create a more accurate 'reductionist' personal explanation for fat fetishism that I can mentally file away and move onto my next curiosity. 

[Guest Mr Froggy]

5 hours ago, You're getting fat said:

I think it's fair to say that some see fat women as more attainable and have adapted their tastes to that, but I wouldn't even say that's the majority. Some might have their attraction to fat women triggered during childhood, while others, a group I'm included in, are attracted to the taboo aspect and the slow weight gain process. In my case I come from a thin family where fatness was considered something negative, and I have always dated slim girls, but I'm fascinated by weight gain after watching many thin girls slowly stopping being thin, and in some cases becoming outright obese.

That does also broadly align with my own experience.  I come from a thin family and my mother is a terrible 'fat shamer'.  She'll never miss an opportinity to mock a confident but even slightly pudgy woman behind her back for having (what she deems to be) too much confidence / self esteem. 

I often wonder if my own attraction to pudgy women (my own personal taste is belly-focused and tops out at around 220lbs) was in part caused by my mother's conditioning?  Did I grow up to subconsciously see women without flat stomachs as a dangerous taboo... or an unfairly prosecuted, vulnerable underclass? 

How this relates to my 'incel' theory is I came to 'the online world' of fat fetishism because in my youth, I couldn't attain a chubby 'normie' girlfriend (well, not one I found facially attractive, anyway).   This changed as I got older and started working out... but my addiction to the online material remained. 

[Guest NotSoAnonymous]

Incel is a derogatory term, like calling a modern woman a "thot". 

In response to your question, I'm a man with this kink & I've been with 37 women (most of whom were thin).

[Guest Mr Froggy]

9 minutes ago, NotSoAnonymous said:

Incel is a derogatory term, like calling a modern woman a "thot". 

In response to your question, I'm a man with this kink & I've been with 37 women (most of whom were thin).

It depends on the context. It's only recently become derogatory. 

Mostly when it's used by someone who is 'punching-down'.   When used as a pejorative,  it evolves into Internet-argument-shorthand for "you only hold that particular opinion you hold because you are a romantically/socially stunted individual, unenthusiastic to take personal responsibility for your own toxic personality". 

It originally started as a self-styled identity label by Incels themselves.  

I use it as a technical description,  seperate from its more recent political connotations. 

[Guest Mr Froggy]

Random observation - why does Curvage have an auto correct algorithm that wholesale substitutes words?  

I tried to type the word U-N W-I-LLI-NG and it auto corrected after posting to "unenthusiastic". 

That seems like some pretty severe word-policing.  Maybe I picked the wrong site to have this discussion after all. 

[Joliat]

One problem is with the premise that people are attracted to others based on their assessment of their own attractiveness. Hence the reference to the "reality of the sexual marketplace."

Let's grant for the sake of argument that people tend to pursue sexual relationships with people who they estimate to be "in their league." Fine. But that has little to do with which body type they viscerally and instinctively find most sexually appealing. Most FAs will report having been drawn to fat women right from the get-go. Some report having been fascinated with fat in early childhood. A horny 12- or 13-year-old boy has little conception of their "value in the sexual marketplace." We're talking about what gets their dick hard, on a primal level.

A moment's reflection bears this out. There are millions and millions of non-FAs who are not especially attractive themselves, but who lust after the women in conventional, non-BBW porn. In other words, they routinely get hard for, and fantasize about, women who are way out of their league. In our mass media society, this is probably the norm for most men.

Whether, in real life, they pursue such women is an entirely different question. (Only the very lucky ones do).

So the whole argument falsely assimilates the question of which type of woman a given man finds most sexy, with the question of which type of woman that man actually pursues in real life when he is looking for a sexual partner. These are not identical quantities.

We no more choose to be FA based on calculations about the "sexual marketplace" than gay men choose to be gay. (And I guess, by this demented logic, gay men are just guys who have given up on ever getting laid by women, right?)

The falsity of the premise having been established, let me switch gears.

IF it is true that FAs are disproportionately sexual "losers" - I won't say incels, since it is grossly unfair to associate sexually unsuccessful men with misogynistic terrorists - it probably has nothing to do with their own attractiveness levels. Instead it probably has to do with the fact that having a marginalized sexual preference can have warping effects on a person's sexual identity. Some young FAs probably think of their preferences as in some way deviant. This can lead to insecurities, neurosis, and a tendency to hide in the closet, to "lurk" rather than seek healthy relationships with women they find attractive. In other words, if they are indeed disproportionately losers, that's because FA-dom is not widely socially accepted, and the insecurities thereby created can create unhealthy behaviors.

[Guest Mr Froggy]

46 minutes ago, Joliat said:

 

There was already a mod intervention in this thread where references to "Incels being domestic terrorists" were removed.  That is a bigoted, politically slanted definition that is not supported by the data.  

I believe the rest of your response is strawmanning my argument / selectively redefining my premise - but I shall mull on it a little longer. 

[Guest Mr Froggy]

1 hour ago, Joliat said:

One problem is with the premise that 

There seems to have been some conflation between the questions of "why some men have this fetish" and "Why I expect this specific online fetish 'community' has a particular demographic makeup". 

This conflation is likely my fault for not speaking precisely enough and blurring the parameters of my original hypothesis. 

My primary intent was to investigate if 'people who seek fat fetish material online' are more 'chronically single / sexually inexperienced' than men who do the same thing for other fetishes. And if so, is this often due to their looks?

Being sexually frustrated won't necessarily lead you to develop a fetish for women you consider 'more attainable' (or a fetish for men, for that matter) - but it WILL cause you (and others like you) to be more likely to venture online looking for material which aligns with your preferences - (because you aren't getting that need met in real life).

Fat fetishism is more of a 'passive' fetish than most. A man with a fat partner is somewhat sexually satisfied (perhaps entirely sexually satisfied in some cases!) simply by observing his partner being fat and going about their normal lives. Contrast this with an 'active' fetish like Deep throat, trampling, ddlg etc which require an 'active participation' from their partner. I expect there'll be plenty men in vanilla relationships who venture online to watch certain 'active' fetishes because their partner won't be interested in participating.

I posit that these men venturing online to satisfy a 'difficult' fetish are better looking, on average than men who are into Fat. As I tried to argue in the OP: because of the 'obesity epidemic' and fat women generally holding lower SMV, its (relatively speaking) 'not difficult' to partially satiate a fat fetish in real life by simply "acquiring a fat partner".  You'd have a much harder time if you fetish was even another passive one like 'small Asian women' or '6ft blondes' - because compared to many categories of women;  overweight women are neither hard to come by nor hard to 'aquire'. 

This leads me to wonder what percentage of the men who are venturing online to satiate their fat fetish are unable to aquire an overweight partner.   Overweight women are the norm - they're all with 'Normies' - so really there should be no excuse for being unable to satiate a fat fetish IF you are yourself 'normal' looking. 

[Joliat]

24 minutes ago, technic3 said:

There seems to have been some conflation between the questions of "why some men have this fetish" and "Why I expect this specific online fetish 'community' has a particular demographic makeup". 

This conflation is likely my fault for not speaking precisely enough and blurring the parameters of my original hypothesis. 

My primary intent was to investigate if 'people who seek fat fetish material online' are more 'chronically single / sexually inexperienced' than men who do the same thing for other fetishes. And if so, is this often due to their looks?

Being sexually frustrated won't necessarily lead you to develop a fetish for women you consider 'more attainable' (or a fetish for men, for that matter) - but it WILL cause you (and others like you) to be more likely to venture online looking for material which aligns with your preferences - (because you aren't getting that need met in real life).

Fat fetishism is more of a 'passive' fetish than most. A man with a fat partner is somewhat sexually satisfied (perhaps entirely sexually satisfied in some cases!) simply by observing his partner being fat and going about their normal lives. Contrast this with an 'active' fetish like Deep throat, trampling, ddlg etc which require an 'active participation' from their partner. I expect there'll be plenty men in vanilla relationships who venture online to watch certain 'active' fetishes because their partner won't be interested in participating.

I posit that these men venturing online to satisfy a 'difficult' fetish are better looking, on average than men who are into Fat. As I tried to argue in the OP: because of the 'obesity epidemic' and fat women generally holding lower SMV, its (relatively speaking) 'not difficult' to partially satiate a fat fetish in real life by simply "acquiring a fat partner".  You'd have a much harder time if you fetish was even another passive one like 'small Asian women' or '6ft blondes' - because compared to many categories of women;  overweight women are neither hard to come by nor hard to 'aquire'. 

This leads me to wonder what percentage of the men who are venturing online to satiate their fat fetish are unable to aquire an overweight partner.   Overweight women are the norm - they're all with 'Normies' - so really there should be no excuse for being unable to satiate a fat fetish IF you are yourself 'normal' looking. 

A good clarification, thanks.

I still think the focus on men's looks is reductive. It doesn't take into account alternative possibilities, e.g., that FAs may be more prone to developing issues because their fetish is marginalized. This is why 'coming out' is a live issue in the FA world. A lot of men (sadly) are embarrassed by this preference or think there is something wrong with it. That feeling can lead to online furtiveness and unhealthy tendencies.

I also think the entire incel framework of approaching gender relations primarily in market terms, and the further reduction of the market to 'looks,' is unbelievably crude. But that's another story.

Finally: I missed the mod intervention and apologize for that. By the same token, law enforcement agencies are now making the connection - https://globalnews.ca/news/7021882/rcmp-incel-terrorism-guide/ - so this matter perhaps should not be wholly airbrushed away.

 

 

[Guest Mr Froggy]

31 minutes ago, Joliat said:

A good clarification, thanks.

I still think the focus on men's looks is reductive. It doesn't take into account alternative possibilities, e.g., that FAs may be more prone to developing issues because their fetish is marginalized. This is why 'coming out' is a live issue in the FA world. A lot of men (sadly) are embarrassed by this preference or think there is something wrong with it. That feeling can lead to online furtiveness and unhealthy tendencies.

I also think the entire incel framework of approaching gender relations primarily in market terms, and the further reduction of the market to 'looks,' is unbelievably crude. But that's another story.

Finally: I missed the mod intervention and apologize for that. By the same token, law enforcement agencies are now making the connection - https://globalnews.ca/news/7021882/rcmp-incel-terrorism-guide/ - so this matter perhaps should not be wholly airbrushed away.

 

 

I think one problem in seeing eye to eye is that the label 'FA' equally applies to men with wildly different weight preferences.  A man (like me) who has a preference for tubby, thicc thighed normie girls' of say, ideally 140-200lbs has a totally different IRL experience to someone who likes 300-400lbs SSBBW.    The former would still be considered by the lay community to be "into fat girls" but their preferences could be entirely hidden in the early stages of dating because they're going after girls who are still relatively ordinary looking (in our 'ever fattening society').   I imagine a man whos exclusively attracted to the latter could indeed develop a sense of trepidation and shame which prohibits him from seeing real world relationships.  In addition, 300lb + women aren't as easy to come by.

Has this forum ever conducted polling to discover the weight range preferences of its userbase?   Are there two 'camps' of say "sub 200" and "over 200" pounds with little overlap?   Is it mostly split 150-250 and then there's a vocal minority flying the flag for 250+ etc?   I wonder how it breaks down.  Is it an even distribution across the whole weight spectrum?

 

I must admit, I'm a big fan of reductionism and generalisations.   If a heartless, mechanical, deterministic explanation will get me 70% of the way to understanding a complex phenomenon,  I'm the type of engineer-mindset person who will "take that and move on to the next issue" rather than fuss over the final 30% of the problem that requires alternative, more complex, sociocultural hypothesis.   In that sense I'm somewhat of a pragmatist;  I believe human emergent behaviour is a lot more deterministic than (particularly socially minded and empathetic) people naturally assume it is.