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I think my boyfriend might be trying to make me fat?


jia

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I think your putting too much thought into the whole thing. Just be happy he loves you for you and if you gain weight it won't bug him. If you ever decide to post pics also that would probably help us out here sense you are kinda unsure what others may think.. But like i said just be happy and have fun with the whole thing lol...

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1 minute ago, NikeLove1986 said:

I think your putting too much thought into the whole thing. Just be happy he loves you for you and if you gain weight it won't bug him. If you ever decide to post pics also that would probably help us out here sense you are kinda unsure what others may think.. But like i said just be happy and have fun with the whole thing lol...

Yeah I tend to overthink things lol.

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I thought from the first post that this guy was FA for sure. He may or may not be a "feeder"...it sounds like he is on the mild end of the feeding spectrum, more of a discreet "enabler/encourager." There doesn't seem to be any interest in the dominating or controlling aspects of feederism, for example. (This is basically where I'd put myself on that spectrum, FWIW; I have no interest at all in the whole "control" thing). So that's fine.

In all honesty: he loves you plump, he's happy if you gain weight but doesn't force it, you love to eat. It sounds amazing for both parties, frankly. This was basically the formula my wife and I discovered when we started dating. We've been together for 25 years.

I get that you will be embarrassed to be seen to have gained a lot of weight. But how much do you enjoy the lifestyle he is facilitating? Would you miss all the food if it went away? Would you be happy dieting and fighting to stay thin? Is avoiding a few hours of embarrassment worth the many months of hassle and deprivation?

One other thing: don't let the thought that he might "wish you were 300 lbs" bother you. It sounds like he finds you unbelievably hot right now. Whether you conform to some abstract fantasy ideal in his mind is as irrelevant as the question of whether he conforms to some fantasy ideal (Daniel Craig or whoever) in your mind. You find each other hot, that's enough.

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1 hour ago, Joliat said:

I thought from the first post that this guy was FA for sure. He may or may not be a "feeder"...it sounds like he is on the mild end of the feeding spectrum, more of a discreet "enabler/encourager." There doesn't seem to be any interest in the dominating or controlling aspects of feederism, for example. (This is basically where I'd put myself on that spectrum, FWIW; I have no interest at all in the whole "control" thing). So that's fine.

In all honesty: he loves you plump, he's happy if you gain weight but doesn't force it, you love to eat. It sounds amazing for both parties, frankly. This was basically the formula my wife and I discovered when we started dating. We've been together for 25 years.

I get that you will be embarrassed to be seen to have gained a lot of weight. But how much do you enjoy the lifestyle he is facilitating? Would you miss all the food if it went away? Would you be happy dieting and fighting to stay thin? Is avoiding a few hours of embarrassment worth the many months of hassle and deprivation?

One other thing: don't let the thought that he might "wish you were 300 lbs" bother you. It sounds like he finds you unbelievably hot right now. Whether you conform to some abstract fantasy ideal in his mind is as irrelevant as the question of whether he conforms to some fantasy ideal (Daniel Craig or whoever) in your mind. You find each other hot, that's enough.

Thank you, this is incredibly helpful! It's kind of what I've been trying to tell myself, but it really helps to hear it from someone else.

You're right, it really is very good. He loves that I'm chubby and like you say I love to eat. And I do hate dieting plus I am very bad at it lol. Dieting is really miserable.

I think it will still be very difficult when friends see how much weight I've gained. But I guess it's just about trade-offs. And today has been so nice, just relaxing watching netflix and playing sims and being constantly full. 

I am going to try hard to come to accept that he finds me hot as I am. I understand what you are saying and I think you are right. It's just a little hard for me to truly believe it right away. But it does help when he showers me in affection like he has today. I've been chilling on the couch in a t-shirt that is really too small and he has made it very clear that he likes the sight lol.

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Guest Tundrakyle

I was going to say @jiamaybe you should bring up this sight to him. Might give him some insight on how you are feeling and how to respect your decision related to weight gain

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On 6/8/2020 at 3:48 PM, NikeLove1986 said:

You will be fine if he is bringing you cheesecake in bed dude might have feeding tendencies...  ride this wave out lol see where it goes 

Cheesecake in bed is at the very least a giveaway that he doesn't mind his lady gaining a few pounds, LOL.

Unlike jia's BF, I'm not much of a cook, but when my wife and I were first going out I used to to bring her treats all the time, and yes, we (or mostly she) would often eat them in bed. Some of her other anecdotes - like him bringing her seconds but none for himself, providing a bag of chips and letter her have most of it - seem wonderfully familiar from my own relationship. This was true especially for the earlier period where we were still doing this sort of dance, her loving to eat and me discreetly facilitating and signalling how much I enjoyed her appetite and her curves. (Eventually things drifted over into her facilitating herself, knowing that I was fully supportive and take a deep satisfaction from her eating to her heart's delight, being 'full all day,' and so on).

I just want jia to know that others have been exactly where she and her BF are and that unrepressed enjoyment of food, with a nurturing and loving partner (not the same thing as a hard-core feeder, necessarily) can lead to a life of wonderful satisfaction and pleasure for both partners.

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22 hours ago, Tundrakyle said:

I was going to say @jiamaybe you should bring up this sight to him. Might give him some insight on how you are feeling and how to respect your decision related to weight gain

I don't think I want to do that because I would find it a bit embarrassing if he read what I wrote. Also I like that in the future if I want I can describe what is going on and get your guys' perspective before I talk to him about it or whatever. If he was on the site I couldn't be as open.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Sounds like you hit the boyfriend jackpot and you're worried about what society categorizes as 'attractive' and 'sexy'. My pro tip: Fuck that. Love your own curves, keep your boyfriend in the loop about your insecurities and thoughts. Communicate with him more, but don't harp on it. 

If he wants you to be 300 pounds, that means he wants to be there with you, which is actually pretty sweet. That's a long time. 

Plus he bakes and cooks for you???? Cmon

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