KFD talk: Closet FAs.

[zorist]

Thank you @goodgirlgrow

[goodgirlgrow CLIPS]

I couldn’t fucking help it... While I stan @NikkiMaialina, I think @zorist you just poorly constructed your point and said it in a very dismissive manner. From a purely structural standpoint, you quoted her and then said, “but” and proceeded to explain something. This by nature equates whatever you were talking about. From what I read, she was pretty neutral in trying to explain that. What you had to say, zorist, has merrit, but when you took what Nikki said out of context and misconstrued its intent and married it to one of your points, it really muddied the water.

😫 this is said with deep compassion for both parties. 

[goodgirlgrow CLIPS]

Comical fucking relief from this: my feeder didn’t know what a “moped” was. I had to explain it to him. 

[Avataг]

1 hour ago, goodgirlgrow said:

Comical fucking relief from this: my feeder didn’t know what a “moped” was. I had to explain it to him. 

[lurkwell]

I feel called out and have to defend my FA honor...

Not really, but being forwarded this thread directly via text I feel like I owe an abbreviated personal history of my FA-ness. Much of what KFD said mirrors my own hard-wired past with this, since I too was around for fatcelebs. I remember Brooke, GainingGoddess, the bad website we don't mention, and the countless random pictures of anonymous fat girls circulating the web at the turn of the century.  It was the dark ages, but there was enough light there to point to and say "YES, LIKE THAT!"

I can't say I was magnetically drawn to obese women as a child, but I knew asap that the girls who got fat over summer vacation were the hot ones when school started back up in the fall. I was late-ish to the dating scene but I had no hesitation in high school about pursuing the fat girls I had crushes on. However, I wish I could say my attractions were unilaterally for the fats...

In jest of the 'coming out' trope, I am without a doubt bisizual. Probably a dash of bisexual (or rather pansexual?) but thats another story. I like the girls I think are hot. Wether they're thin, fat, muscular, morbidly obese, trans, ace, cute, handsome, weird looking, white, black, mixed race, there is literally no common factor. I wish I could explain or understand it but Ive honestly given up trying, it is what it is.

The complicating factors for me was not that my friends or family would judge me for dating fat girls, that never stopped me for a second. The most negatively influencing thing on my dating was a two fold attack of:

1. fat girls hating the way they looked and assuming I wasn't attracted to them
2. thin girls assuming I ONLY liked fat girls and assuming I wasn't attracted to them

Mix that with college, alcohol, meeting girls off the internet (rip myspace), I was left with a lot of bad dating experiences. On the tail end of undergrad I finally started realizing that feederism wasn't just a weird thing that strangers in Canada did. As my dating pool shifted from early 20s to late 20s, metabolisms slowed down and years of partying started catching up. It was like ALL the girls were coming back fatter not just from summer vacation, but rolling admission of formerly thin girls getting fat.

I was a pseudo-active member here until Mal. We had a few interactions via Facebook and when she dissappeared the first time I couldn't help but feel like unconventional attention from 'us' here at the "get fatter" party was to blame. So I went silent, didn't want to be part of the problem and just disengaged from the 'feeder' identity for a while. 

After a few years of dating no-one (long story *not prison*) I doubled down and decided I would pursue openly feedee girls off of the usual (the only?) profile based website for Feedee/Feeder interaction. And despite a few close calls, no dice. But those close calls proved that the more energy I spent in this direction, the realer the results got. 

Met and dated a super hot fat chick for a while. She was too jealous to function and that went about as bad as possible. But I had no doubt I was attracted to her, so I tried to make it work for way too long. Then tried Interacting with a few hardcore dedicated feedees but meeting anyone online is hard enough without trying to navigate long distance first dates. 

But after a decade of actively looking, one of these girls took a chance on my anonymous ass.

The End.

[Garlic]

I’m not bothered about being seen out in public with a big girl, although I’ve never dated a girl bigger than 170 so maybe I would be 🤷‍♂️ I’m very accepting of other people. I’m slow to judge and just talk to anyone, from any background.

I’m pretty much just embarrassed to be me, if I’m being honest with myself. I’m better than I was but it’s still a problem. Nobody would guess that I’m so secretive about myself because I’m very open about particular things. The only time it comes up is around Christmas and my birthday when suddenly nobody knows what to get me for a gift. Whenever people try asking what things I like, in general, I get flustered and try to deflect. I don’t know why the hell I do this shit and I wish I wasn’t this way.

[Guest rhaethen]

I rarely have been in situations where my preferences have come up in conversation, so I feel like I have one foot in and one foot out of the FA closet. My family knows that from my teenager years onwards that I had a preference for T H I C C, but I haven't spoken about it in detail with hardly anyone. The only person I ever spoke in detail about this fetish was with Mal (for a brief while), and that really helped me feel less in the FA/gaining closet. 

For me, it's not shame about being in public/sharing/spending time with someone on the thicker side, but my shame is about gaining - I don't know how to describe it exactly. I don't mind... Okay, I do enjoy seeing someone gain weight, but on the other hand, if it came down to it in real life, I couldn't see myself being a feeder or encouraging someone to gain weight or change their body for my own pleasure - I feel like that's not right for me. I do worry about people's health, and unless the other person wants to gain (or lose even), I just... I just want to do what's best for them. Does that make sense?

After all these years, I have come to this conclusion: I like ladies, especially thicker ones, and I enjoy watching, but their bodies are theirs and it's not my business to make anyone be or do things they don't want. 

Thankfully this hasn't been a real dilemma I've had to fret over. One of my exes started to gain weight while we were dating long distance and gained much more weight long after we broke up (due to college and stress), and while I think she was just as pretty when she was thin, I'd like to think didn't force her to overeat or change her body to my preferences while we were together - she enjoyed sweets and alcohol and it just happened. 

tl;dr thicc thighs save lives

 

 

[extra_m13]

confession i read most of the initial posts and some of the later ones even do i will try to make my two cents of writing in this thread regarding closet FAs. it is true that it requieres something extra for the world that we live in to say yeah i like to be fat and for the other part yeah i love her to be fat and it would be fantastc if she gained some more. and that causes problems along the way. it shouldn't be seen as something worthy of conversation that is just the point of total acceptance. but roles force ladies to always be talking about losing weight and males to chase the fit ones. even do we are more than happy with curves. it is a complex matter. 

[Guest high]

3 hours ago, extra_m13 said:

...but roles force ladies to always be talking about losing weight and males to chase the fit ones. even do we are more than happy with curves. it is a complex matter. 

I call bullshit. Choose what you like and own that and defend that decision.

My SO is larger, usually she's the largest in any group, and I'll go toe to toe with anyone stupid enough to start something with me.

[extra_m13]

that is as it should be and as it is for the ones who go out of the closet for sure. but keep in mind, there are many out there still in the closet and that has a net negative impact on society if you ask me. their reasons usually are those and it needs to be understood in order to overcome. my lady is big and i love it but i get from where this fa closeters are coming and i hope that they will feel confident enough to realize that everyone will be better off if they own it