April Ludgate's Paunch Burger Plan - A Parks & Rec WG fanfic

[gggg]

Same disclaimer applies to the Harry Potter WG work I posted earlier... not sure how well fanfics are received in this forum but it's worth a shot!  Long story short, moving in with Andy means April has not exactly had the healthiest diet. And the pounds start piling on right as Leslie is forming her anti-obesity campaign attacking Paunch Burger restaurant chain. Burt Macklin even makes an appearance.

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Chapter 1: Supermodel

"That is a great look for you, babe," said Andy Dwyer as he leaned back on the ratty old recliner and put down his frisbee full of Kraft macaroni and cheese.

"What, this?" laughed April. She was stretched out on the couch opposite Andy eating her own frisbee of Mac and cheese, laying on her side, one arm tasked with spooning food out of the frisbee next to her and the other outstretched holding the remote, trying to get it to work. As she wrangled with the half-dead remote, trying in vain to get it to work, her white Mouse Rat T-shirt rode up further, extending the amount of skin that was visible between it and her tight, weathered jeans. April was a skinny girl, but today Andy noticed a softer belly than usual protruding ever so slightly from her midriff.

"Yeah babe, you're like a supermodel. Only hotter." He picked up his old digital camera from its spot the floor and snapped a photo of April.

"Ew, delete that," said April through a gooey mouthful of Mac and cheese as she pulled herself upright. "I look like a total slob right now."

"A supermodel slob," added Andy with a goofy grin.

"A disgusting supermodel slob," retorted April with an eye roll. "Give me that." She got up and grabbed the camera from Andy's hands.

"Hey!" shouted Andy. "I was going to sell that to Playboy! World's hottest girl eats Mac and cheese from frisbee," he said, writing the words in the air as he said them.

"Oh my god," said April, her heavily mascara'd eyes widening as she looked at the photograph on the screen. "I look so fat in this picture. Is that how I really look?" Andy took just a second too long to respond, and he knew he'd made a mistake. April's gaze lowered to her own stomach, protruding ever so slightly more than usual. "Andy, why didn't you tell me I'm getting fat?" she yelled like a sulking toddler. She dropped the camera on the floor and flopped down on the couch face first.

"You're not getting fat honey!" said Andy.

"Look at this," April moaned, sitting up again and cupping her shirt where her belly pressed up against it. There was undeniably a bit of a fat roll pressing against her increasingly tight T-shirt—not a big one, but certainly not the bone-thin April that Andy had first started dating. "It's all this garbage we've been eating. This is my second frisbee of Mac and cheese today. And we've almost gone through that whole 256 oz. Paunch Burger soda."

"Well what else are we supposed to eat?" asked Andy earnestly. "Paper? Cardboard? ...Cardboard and cheese?"

April looked over at her mostly-finished frisbee of Mac and cheese as if it was evil. "We're just gonna keep eating like slobs and we're never gonna change and then I'm just gonna be your fat wife and—"

"My fat supermodel wife," said Andy, ignoring the daggers that April was shooting him with her eyes. He sat down next to her and put a hand gently on her waist. "Babe, I love how you look. I don't care if you get fat! You have the sexiest belly in the universe!" He moved his hand to her stomach.

"Ew, don't touch it," said April. But Andy doubled down, lifting her shirt and planting a sloppy, cheese-coated kiss on her soft stomach. As much as April tried to suppress a smile, the corners of her mouth twitched. "Gross," she said, and rolled her eyes again. But Andy knew he'd won her over.

"Come on babe, I think you should show that baby off," said Andy, giving her stomach a pat before getting up again. "Wear a crop top to work tomorrow. Leslie would hate that. Right when she's trying to get Paunch Burger shut down with that whole anti-obesity campaign. Bring that bucket of soda with you to the meeting!"

April's eyes lit up, in the way they only did when a mischievous plan was coming together. "Yeah, she would hate that, wouldn't she," she said flatly. "It would be so sad if that campaign got derailed and we got to keep ordering those delicious burgers. You know what Andy?" she said, leaning forward to present the cheese-covered frisbee to Andy. "I think I could go for thirds on this Mac and cheese."

Andy beamed at her and leapt into the air with a fist pump. "Yeah!" he exclaimed, then suddenly regained his calm demeanor, and affected a terrible British accent. "I mean—anything for my supermodel wife."

Chapter 2: Meeting with Jessica

"Good morning April!" exclaimed Leslie Knope as April walked through the door of the Parks department.

"Morning," said April with a yawn, and brought the 256 oz. Paunch Burger soda to her mouth.

"April!" yelled Leslie. "Throw that horrid thing out! You do know what today is, don't you?"

"Christmas?" replied April sarcastically.

"It's our meeting with Jessica Newport!"

"Who?"

Leslie guessed that April was being intentionally thick, but she continued anyway. "Jessica Newport, the CEO of Sweetums, who I may remind you recently bought Paunch Burger? And wants Pawnee's approval to expand Paunch Burger to every existing Sweetums location, every town park, and more? She's going to be here any minute, we're meeting first thing!"

April gasped and put a hand to her mouth. "Oh no! Now that's going to be a Paunch Burger even closer to my house! Oh wait, that's a good thing." April turned away and continued over to the table, but was stopped by Leslie.

"No, it is not a good thing! Have you seen how fat this town is becoming? We have to stop the spread of fast food joints while we still can."

"Okay, whatever," said April with an eye roll, and took off her black coat, revealing a very tight black T-shirt that barely came down to her navel, a fairly generous dome of stomach pushing out a few inches over the waistband of her fashionably ripped jeans. From Leslie's wide-eyed, slack-jawed reaction, it was the first time she'd noticed the new roundness April's stomach had taken on.

"What?" said April.

"April, have you—have you—"

"Got a new shirt? Yeah, I love it, Andy got it for me."

Just then, Leslie heard a very recognizable tap-tap of high heeled shoes approaching the door. "Quick, April! Put away that soda! And try to hide your—" Leslie made a motion implying pulling her shirt down.

"My what?" said April flatly, with a feigned look of confusion on her face.

"Hi Leslie!" exclaimed the bright and peppy women that walked through the door. "Jessica Newport,"

"Huge fan of your work," said April, taking another sip from her soda.

"April!" muttered Leslie from the corner of her pursed mouth, still attempting to smile towards Jessica.

"What?" sulked April. "Just trying to be nice to our guest."

"Now, let's get right down to business," said Leslie, motioning for Jessica to take a seat at table. "Ever since I got this job, I've been trying to get Pawnee to focus on health. And that unfortunately includes making sure businesses like yours stay in their lane and don't overtake our town,"

"We at the Parks department are especially health-conscious," continued Leslie. "We value our health above all else—"

Leslie's sentence was interrupted by a burp from April, who was still resting her hand on her protruding stomach. As Leslie shot her a furious glare, she muttered, "Excuse me" in a barely audible voice, still trying not to crack a smile.

"Even April here," continued Leslie, still glaring at April, "is committed to a healthy Pawnee. Isn't that right April?"

"Yes," said April flatly, doubling down on her deadpan look, "I only eat twigs and leaves, and I exercise 500 times a day." She stifled another burp and rubbed circles on her stomach absentmindedly.

"Well," said Jessica excitedly as Leslie fumed, "I suppose I couldn't tempt you with one of these?" She stood up, lifted a box from the floor, and placed it gently on the table in front of them. At first, Leslie and April were confused, but they soon realized what it was as soon as the smell of juicy beef, cheese, and toasted buns wafted over to them.

"Jessica," began Leslie with a dismissive gesture, "I hope you don't think we'll change our mind just because—"

"I'll take two," said April excitedly, reaching over the table to grab a few. She unwrapped one and gleefully put it in her mouth, taking a huge bite and dripping ketchup and barbecue sauce all down the front of her shirt.

"April!" said Leslie, unable to contain herself any longer.

"Leslie, she's just another satisfied customer!" said Jessica cheerfully. "There's nothing wrong with someone eating the things they love!"

"Well, you've made a very compelling case," said April through a very full mouthful of food, "I think you've convinced me."

"No," said Leslie, trying to regain control of the situation. "We are still going to try to work out a deal here, that will convince you not to open up any further stores. The stores you already have are perfectly—"

"Mmmm, this one's even better!" interrupted April, grinning widely as she took a bite of a second, even bigger burger.

"That one's got maple bacon on it," explained Jessica with a smile. "So, do I have your department's blessing to move forward with this plan, then?"

"No—" began Leslie.

"Absolutely," said April, letting out yet another burp and failing to stifle it this time, "you have our blessing."

"Don't listen to her!" insisted Leslie shrilly. "I'm her boss, she's just a—"

"So glad to hear it!" exclaimed Jessica, getting up from the table with a huge smile. "Thank you so much for your time. The rest of the burgers are yours! Have a good day!" And before another word could be said, she was gone.

Leslie couldn't do anything but sit in silent anger, looking April up and down with disgust.

April leaned forward, accentuating the stomach roll spilling over her waistband, and offered Leslie one of the remaining burgers. "Burger for your thoughts?"

Chapter 3: Burt Macklin and Janet Snakehole

“I can’t believe Leslie is making me speak at the anti-Paunch Burger rally,” said April gloomily as she picked at the remaining macaroni and cheese in her frisbee.

“I think you’ll do fine, honey,” said Andy absentmindedly as he picked as his own food.

“I know I’ll do fine,” retorted April with a glare, “I just don’t want to do it.”

“Oh, right,” said Andy. “I knew that.”

“Leslie is totally overreacting to this whole thing,” continued April. “Why can’t she just let people eat what they want to eat? And anyway, Paunch burger is great.”

“Oh-ho yeah,” replied Andy, his eyes lighting up. “That new Triple Bacon Grenade is the bomb.”

“God, I could go for one of those right now,” moaned April as she scraped the last of the cheese sauce off her frisbee and set it down dejectedly. “Unless you think I’m getting too fat, of course.”
Andy surveyed the strip of April’s stomach that was bulging through the gap between her years-old T-shirt and her skinny jeans, a round globe of pudge covering the button and nearly covering the zipper as well. April had gained at least 20 pounds in the last month or so (maybe even 30, he thought) at first just to spite Leslie, but then simply due to how much she enjoyed her new diet. And the results were more than a little obvious on her petite frame.

“April, honey, you look sexier than you ever have before,” said Andy. “And no one keeps my baby hungry. Not on my watch.” He stood up and put on his sunglasses. “We’re going to Paunch Burger.”

“Ugh, I don’t want to get up,” complained April, flailing her arms in a mimed attempt to get off the couch. “Can you just go, babe? Pretty please?” She batted her eyelids at him.

Andy couldn’t turn down those beautiful, heavily-mascara’d eyes and their impossibly long eyelashes, and certainly not when her partially-stuffed belly was poking out like that. “I’ll be back in a flash,” he said, turning around swiftly and closing the door behind him.
—
Ten minutes later, Andy returned home with a huge, greasy brown paper bag in his hand, only to find a silent house and nobody on the living room couch. “April?” he called into the silence, furrowing his brow.

“There’s no April here,” came a voice from the bedroom. “But there has been... a robbery!”

Andy recognized the voice at once. He whipped out his sunglasses and put them back on as he proceeded towards the bedroom.

“Burt Macklin, FBI!” he shouted, kicking in the door. There on the bed was April, her face hidden behind a black netted veil, and her body stuffed into a short black dress (with a noticeable bulge in the midsection, Andy noticed.)

“Thank god you’re here,” cried the shaky voice of Janet Snakehole. “They just made off with all the food in my house! Burgers, fries, soda... they ate their share right in front of me, then they took the rest with them! They absconded with it all, I tell you!”

Andy sniffed. “Don’t worry Ms. Snakehole. I’ll get to the bottom of this. Boys,” he called into the empty space behind him, “load up the surveillance video.”

“I really appreciate this,” said Janet Snakehole, standing up and placing a dainty white-gloved hand on Andy’s shoulder. “I know you must be a... busy man,” she drawled, raising a long cigarette holder to her mouth with her other hand and dragging on it sensuously.

Andy removed her hand and said firmly, “It’s all in a day’s work, Ms. Snakehole. Wait... what’s that?” He pressed a finger to his ear as if listening to an earpiece.

“What is it?” came the timid voice of Janet Snakehole.

“Mrs. Snakehole,” muttered Burt Macklin suspiciously, “the woman in the surveillance video appears to be... you.”

“Me? What? I never!”

“Sit down, Janet!” He pushed April back into a sitting position on the bed. “There’s only one way to know for sure.” He pulled the huge Paunch Burger bag from behind his back. “You’ll have to eat a few of these, so we can compare it with the surveillance footage.”

April’s dark eyes flickered beneath the veil. “That looks like an awful lot, Mr. Macklin,” she said softly.

Andy took another look at the bulge in April’s pretty black dress. “I think you can handle it,” he said, and pulled a burger from the bag.

April munched away gloriously on the thick cheeseburger, momentarily forgetting her character. Less than a minute later, she was licking ketchup from her lips and stifling a burp. “Is that good enough, Mr. Macklin?”

“I’m afraid we’ll need to see you eat another few,” responded Andy firmly, “to match the tapes. We need to see if you’re the real culprit here... and you’re not going anywhere.” He pointed his fingers in a gun shape at her.

“Curse you Macklin!” shouted April, leaning forward with considerable difficulty to reach the second burger Andy was handing her.

“Don’t strain yourself now, Ms. Snakehole,” said Andy.

But April was already halfway through the massive burger. Although she was clearly slowing down, she was also clearly relishing every bite. She finished the second burger and eagerly began another, and then another. Finally, with another lick of her lips she was finished. Breathing heavily, she turned back to Andy.

“Sir, I’m afraid if you want me to eat any more, I’ll have to remove... this old thing,” she said, motioning to her tight dress. “It’s gotten rather tight lately, just around here—“ she patted her stomach, which was positively straining the seams of the beautiful dress now—“and I’m afraid I’ll need to give it some room if you need me to eat any more.”

Andy gulped, trying not to forget his Burt Macklin character. “Very well then,” he said. “Some privacy please, boys,” he called over his shoulder, and closed the bedroom door.

April slowly and laboriously began stripping off the black dress, wrestling it off her bulging midsection in a way she never had to before. After a few more shimmies, she was able to remove it completely, and tossed it aside.

Andy took one look at her body, petite and svelte, save for the truly globular pot belly that now protruded from her midsection as if she were six months pregnant, her hand resting atop it as she wheezed heavily, stifling burp after silent burp... and decided it was time to drop the character.

[bigboy1992]

I definitely like this one. Any plans on expanding it?

[gggg]

18 hours ago, bigboy1992 said:

I definitely like this one. Any plans on expanding it?

Definitely.

[wantstofatten92]

Awesome 

[boss frond]

nice!

[kirsten_is_lazy]

I absolutely love this. Please keep going!

[69dudebro]

This is awesome because April is definitely one of my favorite characters on the show