Judgmental Families

[Guest CurvyAsianxo]

I know this isn't the case with many people but one of the biggest struggles at the start is having to deal with a more traditional cultural background where they are not accepting of the idea of growing beyond what is looked at as a normal size. I've struggled with this in the past especially during college and have just kinda gotten used to the way things are. It doesn't effect me anymore. But I am curious how others have had to deal with this in their lives. It's not easy.

[John Smith]

It all depend from woman to woman. Some of them learn to ignore the neverending amount of social pressure targeting their expanding bodies, whilst others may grow staggeringly affected by how their social peers perceive their changing overtime. Some women, when faced up by such adversity, may even prefer to forfeit.

[Guest LionLily]

There is a lot of society pressure to push against. I used to work at a medical office in an admin position, so all my female coworkers would always have some new diet or fad they figured would be the cure all to their body insecurity and solve all their problems. One day, someone asked if I had thought of a diet (rude) and I said "No, because I want to enjoy the food I put in my body, not obsess over it. Plus my fiance loves my body and would be even happier it if I got a little bigger" They literally could not understand. But they didn't ask me about dieting again. 

My body is my temple and I treat it with respect and kindness. I really love seeing pudgy bellies, crop tops, and 2-pieces on bigger girls. IDGAF who my thighs offend any more, it's hot af this summer and I'm wearing my short shorts. 

Edited August 2, 2020 by LionLily

[TrinaXOXO CLIPS]

It definitely is not easy! I grew up in the typical Chinese/Vietnamese household where everyone including my distant family would be obsessed over staying pale and skinny. During my adolescence I was always the one being lectured to lose weight to fit their standard of beauty. Many relatives would harshly directly say ‘you know, you have a pretty face but your body is ugly.’ It was very hurtful considering I was a perfectly healthy child/teen. But eventually, after years of just sitting there taking their back-handed malice-intended comments, I just decided one day that I just wouldn’t care what they would think anymore because dieting made me very stressed and unhappy and that wasn’t a life I wanted to live! Since then, I legitimately don’t acknowledge that they even said anything if they bring up my appearance, and it seems to have proven effective in dying the talk down thus far. 

[Guest grateful]

Thanks for this thread: I live for the moments when personal experiences can be shared-----thoughtful comments you guys and @TrinaXOXO it can't be said enough how much suffering is going on with all those "naturally thin" girls who never gain weight! Thank you!

I am a male and males are rarely in the weight loss spotlight. Male pounds are generally invisible---you have to be pretty big to get reactions out of people, whereas women are fair game to call out on their "micro gains" as character flaws.

In my family growing up we were all chubby except one unhappy anti fat fascist (one of my parents) who made a career out of using whatever ammo there was to cut people down whenever they were having a bad day. Fat was a favorite target! This abuse issued from a tiny person who could never gain if they were paid a million dollars.

I was criticized and all my girlfriends were criticized to the point where I developed a life long habit to never share my personal life---lest it be shredded.

I ended up with a weight problem (between my ears)  and half the time I spent in my beginning years in size acceptance was working on my own size acceptance as well as reconciling that size had a big deal to do with my intimate relationships.

Just wanted to share bc it can happen to guys too, but "there is no problem with guys"  and their size is often "invisible"  and their internal experience on the matter never gets shared.

Thanks for the thread!  And thank you John, LionLily and Trina for the shares!  ❤️

[PillowPie CLIPS]

One thing I say is simply “I see you care about this but my Weight is not up for discussion with you”. Then rinse and repeat every time they make a single comment . It is hard but it sets a boundary for those who can’t seem to let their opinions  go unheard. 

Edited September 21, 2020 by PillowPie