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Safe compliments for big girls?


ThickCommission

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I'm 20, she's 21 - been dating for a couple weeks. I'm fairly big but she's about twice the size of me (but a few inches shorter).

She wears lots of nice dresses which I tell her always look great on her (and I lean her towards the more revealing ones).

I tease her with food a bit, tell her to "fuck it's Christmas" that buffet/cake/tub of Celebrations, that type of thing. We also try and make each other jealous with our food and treats which I started off (I'm not really a feeder but I know she likes her food).

She also said she snuggles the best (she wasn't lying) because she's fat and I was like they're the best kind but apart from that I really try not to touch on her weight but I'd love to start!

I've obviously said I love her big ass and tiddies but again, that's just standard.

TLDR: I just want my compliments to be more personal really. What safe compliments do you guys give / or have received that tease about being big but aren't offensive or can't be taken as offensive?

*WE MET ON A CONVENTIONAL DATING SITE

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Just now, RippdFlannel said:

Tricky cause I struggle to not focus all my attention on her weight, I try to stick to regular compliments any girl would like not just our big girls... I don’t want her to dwell on her weight or also think I only think she’s sexy cause of her fat... 

If I'm being perfectly honest, it's her confidence whilst being big that I find super sexy. I think that's a genuinely nice thing to say but I have no idea how I'd phrase that in a way she couldn't find offensive.

I'm happy how things are now and I'm fine telling her how funny she is, how caring she can be but I just feel like this topic's unavoidable because she is very big. I want to have a phrase in my pocket for if she goes "Do you like me because I'm big? Do you mind that I'm fat?" something like that, it might just be me being paranoid but that is my only worry, if/when she says something like that. Obviously my honest answer would be, I love that you're big... but that isn't so nice to hear!

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1 hour ago, RippdFlannel said:

Tricky cause I struggle to not focus all my attention on her weight, I try to stick to regular compliments any girl would like not just our big girls... I don’t want her to dwell on her weight or also think I only think she’s sexy cause of her fat... 

I confirm: complimenting a woman about her size is tricky, let alone taskfully risky. Even when she's into feederism or feign to.

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1 hour ago, John Smith said:

I confirm: complimenting a woman about her size is tricky, let alone taskfully risky. Even when she's into feederism or feign to.

But it must come up at some point, right? I'm thinking "Do I look fat in this dress" type thing. Is there any point where you can slip it in or do you just keep doing the generic responses forever - look perfect to me!

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we have little information but from here it looks to me that things are going great so no mention of weight or any number is probably the best. if she is already big, and eating happily and probably will gain in the future. just wait for her to mention, if she doesn't and just buys bigger clothes. then you must marry her. and share that with us. 

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1 minute ago, extra_m13 said:

we have little information but from here it looks to me that things are going great so no mention of weight or any number is probably the best. if she is already big, and eating happily and probably will gain in the future. just wait for her to mention, if she doesn't and just buys bigger clothes. then you must marry her. and share that with us. 

Hahaha thank you, if it ain't broke! 🤷‍♂️

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Guest ssbbwlove

Off the topic, but dang you’re big and she’s twice the size of you? How big is she? She seems like she’d be in the high 400s minimum from that description. 
 

Anyway, I guess judge her comfort level and see what you can get away with. My 350 lb SO has made it specifically clear that she recognizes that she’s fat and that I am attracted to her fat but to not point it out. 

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18 minutes ago, ssbbwlove said:

Off the topic, but dang you’re big and she’s twice the size of you? How big is she? She seems like she’d be in the high 400s minimum from that description. 
 

Anyway, I guess judge her comfort level and see what you can get away with. My 350 lb SO has made it specifically clear that she recognizes that she’s fat and that I am attracted to her fat but to not point it out. 

Hahaha nah she's not that big, kinda hard to say but I just wanted to clarify that she's significantly bigger than me. Usually if a girl I'm with says she's fat I just go you're skinny next to me type thing so I just wanted to clarify that I can't use that kind of excuse. I'd say she's like a lovely 270 and I ain't even 200 plus I'm taller.

You see I like that distinction, how did that conversation spring up? In that scenario you go about as normal but she knows you love her just the way she is. That's sweet!

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Guest ssbbwlove

It came up fairly recently actually. She called herself “weird, fat, and stinky” and I said she wasn’t weird or stinky. I’ve been making a point to not deny her when she calls herself fat because she is and I’m hoping her realizing that will help her self confidence. She immediately had that “oh, so I’m fat?” And again, I didn’t deny that and she said what I mentioned in the previous comment. I’m a little lucky though; she’s also never hesitated to communicate with me which probably also helped with her telling me that. 

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Wow that's one hell of a power play. It's good that it sounds like she took it well, that could have been catastrophic lol!

My girl's said similar types of stuff "because I'm fat" and I never say that she's not but I'll change the topic and I'll say somet cheesy like yeah that tub of ice cream's to die for! You know, never told her she isn't fat, very quickly moved off the subject though.

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Ever since I told my wife I like her 'with a beat more meat on you", I never tell her she's not fat.

"I'm fat" "Yes, and you look fabulous" or "Yes, and it looks great on you"

I also regularly run my hands over fat parts, squeezing here and there, and tell her "you're doing really good" She knows that means her gaining is good.

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On 1/1/2020 at 12:53 PM, ThickCommission said:

But it must come up at some point, right? I'm thinking "Do I look fat in this dress" type thing. Is there any point where you can slip it in or do you just keep doing the generic responses forever - look perfect to me!

Yes.

 

Until the day she throw a tantrum just because you complimented her as usual.

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On 1/7/2020 at 7:39 PM, allgrownup said:

Ever since I told my wife I like her 'with a beat more meat on you", I never tell her she's not fat.

"I'm fat" "Yes, and you look fabulous" or "Yes, and it looks great on you"

I also regularly run my hands over fat parts, squeezing here and there, and tell her "you're doing really good" She knows that means her gaining is good.

That's really sweet actually, amazing way of putting it (I think so anyway, must work if she's your wife) I'll be stealing them! Thank you.

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  • 2 weeks later...

She obviously knows she is fat and since you're her lover you can probably say about anything to her regarding her weight without offending her, she might even like it if you called her a fat hog or something ?

I don't think you have to try real hard to compliment her yet not offend, she's already in your bed. You obviously approve of her size,all is good.

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  • 2 months later...

The compliments that I've found to be most consistently successful for a girl who's not 100% on board with her weight gain, is to focus them around how "womanly" she is, how those great feminine curves make a "real" woman, maybe even throw a few of her skinny friends under the bus for looking too thin and skeletal and make her feel proud of her womanly curves in contrast.

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It really isn't that hard honestly.  Form-fitting (think fashion or just how her clothes accentuate attraction), bright (or extra dark, based on her features, eyes, or skin tone), soft, womanly, matronly, (if a mother, can easily remind her that her radiant body created life, and the extra padding is a form of a belly cast). I'd say it became easier and normal several years ago; I just filter for the fat ones to unpleasantly remind me of their weight in narcissistic or torturous ways akin to a drug habit. 

Even with a skinny minnie, who can roleplay well, stuff works really well.

A lot of them have boyfriends, and all that's usually needed is just to encourage them to freshen up given weight fluctuates like so.

 

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i tend to... just describe beauty in abstract terms and tell her that she is just hot and that i like her curves, i think that is direct and polite way to do it without going for the hey i like your hanging rolls kind a thing because it can backfire for sure

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 1/1/2020 at 11:58 AM, ThickCommission said:

I've obviously said I love her big ass and tiddies but again, that's just standard.

standard but still the best so you’ve started from the glorious point.

with all the risks related above, i’d keep the usual, like wow, you look great and all. and try to focus your compliments oh her, the person, not in her shape.

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  • Curvage Model

Personally I think of a variety of compliments is the best. Mixing in things about curves or body is great. I love hearing stuff like "damn babe, your ass looks bomb today!", "wow babe, your tits are goddess level!". I also think it's worthwhile to mix things up and add things about her hair or nails (if she does them). Complimenting wit and other traits is also important, it makes us feel less like an object. 

It might also be worth wile to ask her what she likes. Find out what makes her hot and heavy (pun intended) and run with it. When people ask it's a sign they care!

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