GF Gaining and doesn't like it.. Opinions?

[whiteheartlane]

So my gf has put on 20ish lbs on her small 5ft frame she's at around 165 and hates it whereas I like it. I'm torn as to how to support her because I find her more attractive than ever and she's still healthy. Your thoughts? 

[Guest Forum Lurker]

You can tell her you like the weight on her if you want to, if you feel like she'd take that well. There's a chance that would make her feel a bit differently. But at the end of the day it's her choice and if she really doesn't like it and wants to lose the weight you should be supportive.

As to how to support her, just suggest a few healthy lifestyle choices. Ask her if she'd want to go to the gym or have certain healthy alternatives for meals. Just make sure whatever choices she decides to make you back her up

[tha_lewd]

3 hours ago, Forum Lurker said:

You can tell her you like the weight on her if you want to, if you feel like she'd take that well. There's a chance that would make her feel a bit differently. But at the end of the day it's her choice and if she really doesn't like it and wants to lose the weight you should be supportive.

As to how to support her, just suggest a few healthy lifestyle choices. Ask her if she'd want to go to the gym or have certain healthy alternatives for meals. Just make sure whatever choices she decides to make you back her up

This is all you can do man, just be a good dude and help her do what she wants to do. You can be honest and let her know what your deal is if you want, but fucking drop it if she's not into it.

[Guest high]

Do you encourage her to like it? When she's stuffed, do you bring the pleasure? Or are you waiting for her to magically like it on her own, especially given societal pressure to be thin?

[extra_m13]

that is a very common situation... nothing for you to do there but try to make her feel comfortable and hope that the power of the habit will help you... and make her very difficult to lose the weight

[Great Admirer]

my thoughts are that if the woman doesn’t like it, it should be respected. but firstly why she doesn’t like it?

[PhatCat]

What does she want to hear?

"Even though you're heavier, you don't have to worry, I still think you're hot"

"You look better than ever"

or "I can't even tell you gained weight. You look just as great as you ever did".

When my girl gains weight, the last thing she wants me to do is acknowledge it. She wants me to tell her how thin she looks.

An old girlfriend of mine who gained quite a bit of weight in her belly during our relationship loved it when I told her how thin she looked (and she clearly wasn't). Though nothing could help her self-esteem when she couldn't button her coat or zip up her dress because her gut got too fat.

So I think most girls want to hear that they look thin, even if you don't think they could possibly believe it. It can help make them feel more comfortable with a weight gain.

[Guest high]

Yeah, if that's what you're saying, you're not going to get anywhere. Oh well.

Trombone noise

[gggg]

I mean, you shouldn't straight-up lie to her.  Saying "I can't see any difference at all!" if she's got a belly going on will eventually result in her realizing you're just doing "the boyfriend thing" and saying what she wants to hear. Then she won't take it seriously anymore.

The balance to strike is to keep telling her she still looks amazing, regardless of her weight. If she brings it up, you can sing praises about how impressed you are with how great it looks on her, and that you don't mind it one bit.  It's 100% truthful, but without saying "Jeez you really are getting chubby!" or something that will blow up in your face.  Worked with my girl—being impressed with all the incremental changes has led her to leave her thin toned high school body behind and not worry one bit about the noticeable beer belly she's got now.  Little by little!

[Dr. Feeder]

My wife gained weight at one point and hated it so much I couldn't even really enjoy it.  And yes, I did tell her what I was into. Didn't help.

Some people just hate being bigger and there's probably nothing you can do about it. It's worth telling her you're into it, but if that doesn't work, drop it.

 

[bellyluvr]

With my wife, mentioning anything about weight is not a good idea. She is aware that she is not skinny, but doesn't want to be called out on it. I direct attention to things like her "cute round little butt" or her "soft curvy hips" or "voluptuous breasts". Heck, her stomach is probably my favorite thing but I don't mention it often. If I do, I refer to is as her "cute little tummy" even though it sticks out past her D cups in a push up bra. I think it's all in the wording. She needs to be aware that she is attractive to you, but not that her being FAT is why she is attractive to you. It's been said a thousand times on curvage, but society has taught women that fat is ugly skinny is pretty. As people whose opinions differ, we are working against social norms to make our ladies feel beautiful with the curves we adore. My wife has absolutely no doubt that I'm extremely attracted to her, and I think that goes a long way in making her feel comfortable with her shape. I really sympathize with guys who are with ladies that don't enjoy their weight gain, because I'm one of those guys too.