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Girlfriend wants a bariatric surgery


andrestuco

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I met her 2 years ago, se has always been very obese, we love each other and we love each other body. And its a shame thats she doesnt loves her own.

She is obviously not into the fetish but she knows my preferences.

She wants to do the bariatric surgery badly. And I feel like really selfish because I dont want her to have it. Because I dont know if I will be still attracter to her phisically.

I think I have to do absolutely nothing about it. Let things just happen the way they have to. Just need some feedback.

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She has her needs and you have yours. She knows your preference, but still wants this, so obviously it means something big to her. It's either health or vanity. 

Don't feel bad about liking how she looks now. Some relationships make it, some don't. Not your fault.

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PCOS makes it very difficult to lose weight, which is what is recommended when you have insulin resistance. We all know what's at the end of that path. 

High intensity exercise is recommended, but that's for people willing to do that. The other solution is the stomach surgery. 

I hope it's the sleeve, because the gastric bypass is pure butchery and she'll get shitty health down the line (like no absorption of minerals, losing hair or teeth).

 

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On 11/27/2019 at 10:20 PM, high said:

PCOS makes it very difficult to lose weight, which is what is recommended when you have insulin resistance. We all know what's at the end of that path. 

 

One would think it'd be easier because they have higher androgen levels, which translates into higher ability to build muscle, which uses up lot more energy and is probably the best way of losing weight and improving glucose sensitivity. 

 

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If she really knows about your preferences, and still wants to get the surgery, it means she puts her wellbeing/ looks above your interests. She has the right to do it, of course, but you also have the right to follow your desires. Also, there was never a better time in human history to be a fat woman than now, so if she really cared about you she would not go against your will.

My suggestion is to tell her openly that she will most likely be not attractive to you after the surgery, that you can her recover but after that you part ways. 

It is only 2 years so separation will not be so painful. Much better than spending 10+ years in a relationship and then being unable to quit it due to various life shit.

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On 11/27/2019 at 3:20 PM, high said:

I hope it's the sleeve, because the gastric bypass is pure butchery and she'll get shitty health down the line (like no absorption of minerals, losing hair or teeth).

The term you are looking for is the gastric band, also known as the lap band. That surgery is an adjustable band placed around the upper end of the stomach to constrict it, an operation that is completely reversible. 
 

the gastric sleeve procedure is as much butchery as gastric bypass. In gastric sleeve surgery, they chop off the side of the stomach, forming the remaining stomach into a thin tube with its original length but only the width of the intestines.  With gastric bypass, they cut out the stomach and reattach the small intestine to the esophagus. Both are obviously irreversible. 

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1 hour ago, bluetech said:

The term you are looking for is the gastric band, also known as the lap band. That surgery is an adjustable band placed around the upper end of the stomach to constrict it, an operation that is completely reversible. 
 

the gastric sleeve procedure is as much butchery as gastric bypass. In gastric sleeve surgery, they chop off the side of the stomach, forming the remaining stomach into a thin tube with its original length but only the width of the intestines.  With gastric bypass, they cut out the stomach and reattach the small intestine to the esophagus. Both are obviously irreversible. 

All this gives me the chills. It blows my mind that people voluntarily have major surgery of this kind. Especially given the risks, complications, and failure statistics.

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For what it’s worth a chick I dated has a surgery before we met, and gained all of her wait back and then some... (about 30% of her loss before we met and the rest during our 2-3 years together). she wound up having another procedure shortly after we broke up. 
 

it’s not a quick fix and requires much work and dedication. If she sticks with it she wants it, if she doesn’t then she’ll gain the weight back.

 

I don’t have an answer for you - love is important but so is intimate physical relationship.

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