Advice on relationship's

[Coffeewizard]

Long time lurker first time poster.

I (25M) just got of almost 4 year relationship with (21F). While I have alot of things to unpack unrelated to this I want to get some opinions. I have had a little to no success with introducing this to my past relationships. My recent ex though was a bigger ish girl than I've dated in the past. Before introducing all this she struggled with some eating disorder stuff just getting into college sometime after that I kinda just blurted out I like bigger girls and into weight gain. She didn't really think it was weird and was kinda into it and unknowingly to her explored it herself a little bit before I even met her. Fast forward through the relationship she gained weight whether intentional or not is hard for me to know but it was present on and off in our sex life. But at some point she started really feeling bad about her body and started to dismiss liking it. Though she would openly talk about masturbating to big girls and get turned on by that talk in bed. I'm not sure if this is what doomed our relationship but it definitely had a big impact and I'm trying to see how to go about including this in my relationships going forward as I think I realized it's something I need ( maybe not full on feedee feeder but it needs to be acknowledged). 

Any advice from older long-term couples on here that have had success in incorporating this kink into their relationship?

She also told me that she would have preferred me to be open and honest about what I was into (all of it bigger girls and weight gain) from the very start and wouldn't have thought it was weird. 

Sorry long post. Just looking for some guidance. 

[Technicalissues]

I'm struggling with a similar situation, I (24M) am in a new relationship (22F) and finding it tough to bring up. She is thick but definitely not big by most people's standards and is constantly exercising. Our only interaction around my preferences was when she went searching for a page I follow on Instagram and found a high number of plus sized models that I follow. She confronted me about it and was upset that she doesn't look like them and why would I be with her considering that she doesn't. Any advice on how to bring up my preferences to someone who absolutely has no knowledge of this world existing?

[Coffeewizard]

Haha well I had alot of the same issue she wasn't necessarily big just thick I guess and was athletic. I don't have a Instagram and never really gave off that I liked really big woman besides just complimenting the thicker parts of her and saying how I liked her body. When I told her I just said bigger woman but it kinda ran into me telling her everything and at the time I just showed her a article about feederism I recently read (guess it was really on my mind) she said when she read it, it turned her on and made her excited and she never really knew this stuff existed. Which was probably the best outcome and It gave her momentary confidence in herself too which was cool. BUT as the relationship ran on I ran into similar issues where she was very insecure because she didn't look like those other girls I looked at and she felt like she was never enough (probably my fault) she was and I didn't ever know how to convince her of that. But she also seemed really conflicted on what she wanted and since we broke up she says she's lost weight but is very unhappy with her body, so tread carefully is all I have to say. 

[extra_m13]

how to introduce this topic of hey i like curvy weight gaining good eaters ladies is a complicated one. i think from the beginning you must prepare the terrain by saying somethings like... girls who are always on diet are complicated, curves are better, this ok sentences should make the lady realize that she will never have to be thin or lose weight, therefore setting the ground for a gain. of course , a gain may be simply unnaceptable to some, and those are the cases that we should probably refuse as it tends to be a losing battle