Husband's weight gain

[CherryPi]

Hi, I've been lurking for a while and enjoying everyone elses stories, and thought it was time to share my own. 

So I've been feeding my husband for about 3-4 years now, though we've been together much longer - he played sports for the first few years of our relationship, so gaining was out of the question. With that came an obsession with fitness and maintaining a certain physique, but since retirement he has relaxed enormously, which has been fantastic to see. 

For the first couple of years, he put weight on easily but then panicked and lost it again - this pattern continued for a while but a few pounds stuck around every time, and his weight gradually crept up. I've always been chubby but gained about 40-50lbs myself during this time, which I think helped him learn to accept that being fat is ok and there's nothing wrong with letting go a bit. 

The last 2 years (and this year in particular) he has really found his appetite and grown to enjoy food just as much as I do. We've got into a routine of dessert every night and lots of high-calorie snacks - and now he looks forward to dessert and pesters me to go get it, whereas his reaction often used to be "dessert again?? No thanks". It makes me incredibly happy to see him get so much pleasure from eating now. I've slowly introduced him to the joys of stuffing and belly rubs as well, which he loves 😁 

This year though, he has really filled out - his waist has increased from 51" - 56" since December and his weight has increased from 243lb in August to 251lb today! His start weight was 185lb all those years ago so I'm over the moon with how much he's grown. 

The best thing - and what prompted me to write this - is we were talking today and he said he no longer just accepts that he's fat..... He likes it!! He likes people saying "wow, you're a big bloke" (he's 6'4" tall as well), he feels strong and robust, he likes taking up space, and he likes being fed, pampered and adored by me. 

Now I know people's feelings can change and after another 20lbs he might no longer like it, but I'm cautiously hopeful and very much enjoying where we are at the moment. If he wants to stay at this size, that's fine by me, but I'm hoping he may gain a little (maybe a lot??) more and continue to be happy with it. 

Life at the moment is good and I just wanted to share my happiness with people who will understand! Thanks for listening 😊

[ThunderousRegret]

Sounds like you're living the dream! Does he know you want him even bigger?

[CherryPi]

He knows that I find guys up to 400/500lbs attractive and that he's not going to get 'too fat' for me, but I'm trying to stay relaxed and not push it - it's taken a long time to get here and the last thing I want is for him to gain more, dislike it, and then start losing weight. As much as I'd love to see him blow up, about 10-15lb a year is more comfortable for him. Just trying to enjoy where we are at the moment and if he gains more it's a bonus. 

[allgrownup]

I'm very happy to read your report. It sounds like you have a well balanced view on feeding and weight gain, but also a very balanced relationship with your husband.

His weight gain this year is fabulous. The overall gain journey, from 185 to 251, very impressive.

Does he think he just happens to gain because there is good food or does he know you're actively feeding him, working on growing him?

 

[CherryPi]

Thank you! I think he'd be shocked to learn that between dinner, dessert, and a couple of snacks before bed, he eats at least 1500kcal most evenings....... in general I try to frame it as sharing my love of indulgence and good food (which is true, and why I'm fat!) and encourage him to eat just for pleasure - my eating just for enjoyment was a crazy concept to him at first. It took some time to get there, as he's not a natural foodie, but seeing him now enjoying pigging out is wonderful. Of course, knowing that everything I make him is extremely high in calories is a turn on in itself!  He'll need to go up a size in clothes soon though, so that could be a rocky time......

[allgrownup]

On 10/30/2019 at 2:47 PM, CherryPi said:

he eats at least 1500kcal most evenings

You are really good. I guess that during the day there is another 1000 calories at least?

Mine needs at least 2000 cal/day to maintain, but currently a good number of days I have to work hard at that. Fortunately she's starting to forage again, including some requests for richer food.

On 10/30/2019 at 2:47 PM, CherryPi said:

knowing that everything I make him is extremely high in calories is a turn on in itself! 

I so agree! It's fun to bring her a bowl of risotto she thinks of as a tasty snack while I'm actually feeding her 600 calories. 

Breakfast is my daily recurring pleasure right now. She wanted to cut down from two (high calorie) toasts to one, but I've convinced her the crroissants we have are kind of like mini-croissants. So every morning I get her a 500-550 calorie breakfast. Starts my day with a smile

Mine knows I like her bigger but she doesn't know I'm a feeder. She knows from things I say, like "I love giving you food" or "I love feeding you", that I enjoy getting and bringing her food, but but for one remark she made she doesn't seem to think I'm actively working on growing her bigger. I guess the same is true for your husband?

[Guest MX8XV93]

On 10/30/2019 at 2:47 PM, CherryPi said:

He'll need to go up a size in clothes soon though, so that could be a rocky time......

It shouldn't be that bad... You're smart, and as a women feeding a man, you have a tool at your disposal that us men feeding women could only dream of.  I imagine you're better at coming up with win-win situations than I am, and I'm not necessarily advocating this (I suppose it depends on how dominant he likes his woman to be, though if he married you, I'm guessing that's "a lot"...), but some women I know would have played that one something like this:

The Carrot:

While he's working on building a new wardrobe, turn the feminine charm up to 11 and reward him intensely and often.  Shower him with compliments about his new figure and how strong and robust he is.  When he buys a new piece of clothing, have him try it on for you at home, tell him how sexy he looks, and then tear it right off and give him passionate love like you did when you were dating.  When he throws out a piece of clothing or eats a big dinner, give him passionate love.  When he takes his own initiative and asks you to get him dessert, reward him doubly.  Make him a super-high-calorie dish with lots of care, playfully feed him some of it, and when he is finished, give him passionate love.  By this point, it will be obvious what you're doing, but that won't really matter.  Once his entire old wardrobe has made its way into the donation bin, and once he gets used to all of your rewards, then...

The Stick:

Pull back.  Dial back the feminine charm to about a 6.  Continue to give him passionate love when he eats a lot, but now, do it only when he really goes to town with his eating, and even then, only about 40% of the time (and randomly, to make it more intense for him when it happens and make him continue to crave it while it's scarce).  Give him some compliments on his figure when he needs it, but also knock some "scrawny" guys, and maybe point out that he's wasting food if he hasn't cleared his plate.  When he's been slow with his eating, maybe you're not really feeling like it that day.  And when he's almost ready for a new wardrobe again, go back to the carrot.

All, of course, while making sure that he stays healthy and continues to be emotionally supported and loved in all of the ways that count.  A few cycles of this, and he should blast right through that barrier every time it comes up and be a gainer for life.

Again, I'm not sure that you actually want to do this, but with your mindset, I imagine it will at least be a fun thing for you to think about, anyway.

[CherryPi]

13 hours ago, allgrownup said:

You are really good. I guess that during the day there is another 1000 calories at least?

Mine needs at least 2000 cal/day to maintain

You don't know how lucky you are - my husband, being a large muscular man with a pretty active lifestyle - needs over 3000kcal a day to maintain! I usually make a 900-1000kcal dinner + 500-600kcal dessert, hopefully followed by low sugar biscuits or crisps. He eats around 1600kcal during the day so it can be a struggle to get enough into him for a consistent gain. I eat less during the day then the same as him in the evening. 

 

13 hours ago, allgrownup said:

Breakfast is my daily recurring pleasure right now. She wanted to cut down from two (high calorie) toasts to one, but I've convinced her the crroissants we have are kind of like mini-croissants. So every morning I get her a 500-550 calorie breakfast. Starts my day with a smile

Mini-croissants 😂 how on earth do you get away with that? Very clever, I love it. Mine has always enjoyed cream on his morning cereal - over the years he's worked up from having it as an occasional treat to having about 100ml on his cereal every day, which gets a good load of calories in. I'm working on getting him used to 2 breakfasts on Saturday & Sunday - you've worked hard all week, I think you deserve a second breakfast! 

13 hours ago, allgrownup said:

Mine knows I like her bigger but she doesn't know I'm a feeder. She knows from things I say, like "I love giving you food" or "I love feeding you", that I enjoy getting and bringing her food, but but for one remark she made she doesn't seem to think I'm actively working on growing her bigger. I guess the same is true for your husband?

Well...... Like you, I focus on how much I enjoy seeing him eat, especially large amounts, and how much I enjoy his larger body, because he's comfortable with that. I throw in the odd "You're going to get huge!" comment, but in a jokey manner, which seems to go ok. He knows what I'm into though. It took some time to get his head around it, but he's grown to like the softer 'making nice food and taking care of you, with no pressure to gain' sort of feeding, which is still a big win. He doesn't know I'm trying to fatten him at the moment......

[CherryPi]

5 hours ago, JohnnyX said:

It shouldn't be that bad... You're smart, and as a women feeding a man, you have a tool at your disposal that us men feeding women could only dream of.  I imagine you're better at coming up with win-win situations than I am, and I'm not necessarily advocating this (I suppose it depends on how dominant he likes his woman to be, though if he married you, I'm guessing that's "a lot"...), but some women I know would have played that one something like this:

The Carrot:

While he's working on building a new wardrobe, turn the feminine charm up to 11 and reward him intensely and often.  Shower him with compliments about his new figure and how strong and robust he is.  When he buys a new piece of clothing, have him try it on for you at home, tell him how sexy he looks, and then tear it right off and give him passionate love like you did when you were dating.  When he throws out a piece of clothing or eats a big dinner, give him passionate love.  When he takes his own initiative and asks you to get him dessert, reward him doubly.  Make him a super-high-calorie dish with lots of care, playfully feed him some of it, and when he is finished, give him passionate love.  By this point, it will be obvious what you're doing, but that won't really matter.  Once his entire old wardrobe has made its way into the donation bin, and once he gets used to all of your rewards, then...

The Stick:

Pull back.  Dial back the feminine charm to about a 6.  Continue to give him passionate love when he eats a lot, but now, do it only when he really goes to town with his eating, and even then, only about 40% of the time (and randomly, to make it more intense for him when it happens and make him continue to crave it while it's scarce).  Give him some compliments on his figure when he needs it, but also knock some "scrawny" guys, and maybe point out that he's wasting food if he hasn't cleared his plate.  When he's been slow with his eating, maybe you're not really feeling like it that day.  And when he's almost ready for a new wardrobe again, go back to the carrot.

All, of course, while making sure that he stays healthy and continues to be emotionally supported and loved in all of the ways that count.  A few cycles of this, and he should blast right through that barrier every time it comes up and be a gainer for life.

Again, I'm not sure that you actually want to do this, but with your mindset, I imagine it will at least be a fun thing for you to think about, anyway.

Great advice, thank you, and yeah I've been doing that for a while - there's always a hot reward for eating well and he knows I like him stuffed. Last night I suggested a stuffing and sex session next weekend and he's up for it 😁 I'm ridiculously excited already! Maybe we could follow that with a wardrobe clear-out while he's still got that satisfied glow. 

[allgrownup]

11 hours ago, CherryPi said:

Mini-croissants 😂 how on earth do you get away with that? Very clever, I love it

They're supermarket croissants that just look less puffy than regular croissants. Sooooo ...

11 hours ago, CherryPi said:

Mine has always enjoyed cream on his morning cereal - over the years he's worked up from having it as an occasional treat to having about 100ml on his cereal every day, which gets a good load of calories in.

Oh that is helpful! Depending on the feedings I have her go through about 1L of cream in 7-10 days. Any time milk is called for it's going to be cream. And sometimes just added for a richer taste; spaghetti sauce with some melted cheese and cream. 

 

11 hours ago, CherryPi said:

He knows what I'm into though

Mine definitely knows but is still feeling out where I am with it. Just this week showed me a YouTube video of a 600 lbs woman asking "and you find that beautiful?!" She was kind of relieved to hear it's not really my thing. 

 

11 hours ago, CherryPi said:

He doesn't know I'm trying to fatten him at the moment......

She has her suspicion sometimes. The last couple of weeks I tried to reintroduce rich desserts again and at one point she said "I think you're having me on a diet to gain weight"

But no, in general she doesn't know I work on getting her fatter. I kind of like it that way too. It's super exciting when you feed them a huge calorie portion and they feel they're "just" having a bite. Really puts a smile on my face.

11 hours ago, CherryPi said:

Last night I suggested a stuffing and sex session next weekend and he's up for it 😁 I'm ridiculously excited already!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow!

[CherryPi]

On 11/2/2019 at 10:44 PM, allgrownup said:

She has her suspicion sometimes. The last couple of weeks I tried to reintroduce rich desserts again and at one point she said "I think you're having me on a diet to gain weight"

But no, in general she doesn't know I work on getting her fatter. I kind of like it that way too. It's super exciting when you feed them a huge calorie portion and they feel they're "just" having a bite. Really puts a smile on my face.

Oof, what did you say to that? Mine has periods when he just doesn't fancy snacking etc, and it is difficult to get him back into the habit of eating more without being too obvious about it. I used to panic during these times but I've learnt to just ride it out - his appetite always comes back after a few weeks, and that's when he gains. We've had an excellent couple of months so I'm half expecting a drop in appetite/interest soon. As you always say, you've got to play the long game and be happy for where you are now, compared to 2 or 3 years ago. I remember following you on tumblr when your wife was under 200lbs.....

[docroxxo]

On 10/30/2019 at 7:58 AM, CherryPi said:

He knows that I find guys up to 400/500lbs attractive and that he's not going to get 'too fat' for me, but I'm trying to stay relaxed and not push it - it's taken a long time to get here and the last thing I want is for him to gain more, dislike it, and then start losing weight. As much as I'd love to see him blow up, about 10-15lb a year is more comfortable for him. Just trying to enjoy where we are at the moment and if he gains more it's a bonus. 

I think that's a smart way to handle things. Big athletic  ex jock guys are always naturally gluttonous. Keep him comfortable, give him compliments and belly rubs, and make it easy for him to eat what he wants to and you'll get to just watch the pounds add up 😀

[CherryPi]

@docroxxo thanks! It's worked so far, hopefully will continue to do so 😊

[Guest MX8XV93]

Any news on hubby's gain?  And any luck on his new wardrobe?

[CherryPi]

@JohnnyX nothing to report really. We never got the stuffing session or shopping trip because he didn't feel well, which I was disappointed about, but these things happen. His appetite took a nosedive after being ill, but I've been working extra hours this week so we've had lots of takeaways instead of home-cooked meals, which has ensured he's still getting plenty of calories. It looks like he's lost a couple of pounds 😞 hopefully they'll come back plus some extra with the holiday season coming up. I have a few days off this week and will be making lots of fattening treats to tempt him with! Sorry that's not a very cheerful update, but you know that's how it goes sometimes. 

[CherryPi]

Well, I'm a happy bunny today. After a hard day of doing almost nothing, he had a nap this afternoon and woke up super hungry! He had a big plate of dinner (sausage casserole) followed 30 minutes later by a third of a cheesecake, then half a packet of peanut cookies, some crisps and cheese, then the other half packet of peanut cookies! I gave him a relaxing massage and paid lots of attention to his huge full belly 😋 it felt so good to see him pigging out again, I've really missed it! Of course I'll be buying more cookies tomorrow, and hopefully we're back on course to get him nice and fat(ter) for Christmas! 

[extra_m13]

always nice to hear this stories of success here at curvage, in my case, i am trying to design a scenario in which my wife accepts another 5 kilos, it is not much, but... it implies a psychological barrier of 90kg and it implies buying a whole lot of clothes that are on the limit of XXXX so yeah mental barriers are difficult to overcome i guess. thanks for sharing and wish you lots of success fattening your partner! thanks for sharing

[CherryPi]

@extra_m13 thank you! Best of luck to you too

[allgrownup]

On 11/4/2019 at 7:53 AM, CherryPi said:

I remember following you on tumblr when your wife was under 200lbs.....

I like it that you were 'there' and apparently don't judge me negatively. It's good to have people like you around in life.

[CherryPi]

A little update because it's been a while. He's been eating very well and ordered some new jeans online. I noticed they were a bit big when he tried them on, and he said "I purposely ordered a size up to allow some room for expansion *pats belly* I'm not going to get any thinner over Christmas am I?". I said, "Not if I have anything to do with it!". So that really put a smile on my face 😁 He's gaining weight all over now, his back and upper arms feel softer, and he's growing a nice set of love handles as well. He said he really enjoys me playing with and worshipping his belly too, which is just as well as I struggle to keep my hands off him as he grows bigger and softer! 

I'm still making lots of hearty 900-1000kcal dinners and also tried a new recipe for rice pudding tonight, which is over 900kcal per portion!! A feeder's dream, it's delicious and easy to eat as well. I'll put the recipe in the recipe forum if anyone's interested. Planning to weigh and measure in the new year as he usually gains over the holiday period. 

[CherryPi]

One exciting feature of this holiday season is that I no longer have to 'lead' him to food - he's overeating every day without any input from me. I feel slightly redundant but it's very satisfying to see him enjoying eating so much, and basically fattening himself. I've been focusing on getting him used to bigger portions for the past couple of months and he can put a huge amount of food away in one sitting now. He's thrown away all his old clothes as well, and isn't shy about telling people that he's never going to be thin again 😁 I've always loved being fat and it seems like he's starting to realise how great life is on this side of the fence too. 

[allgrownup]

4 hours ago, CherryPi said:

he's overeating every day without any input from me.... and basically fattening himself

What a nice win for you!

It kind of takes the pressure off as you know he'll continue to eat nicely, but I understand it makes you feel almost redundant. I'm still continuously working on preventing mine from sliding back, and that whole feeding and indoctrination process is just fun. 

4 hours ago, CherryPi said:

isn't shy about telling people that he's never going to be thin again

Wow! Well that is well internalized behavior! Applause for you work!

He was 251 lbs at his last weigh-in; I don't think you have a specific goal for him except to get bigger still, right?

 

[CherryPi]

Thanks, it is a nice place to be for sure. He was talking to his mum last night and she mentioned New Year's resolutions, suggested that he could stand to lose some weight, and he immediately said "No, I'm perfect as I am" - and that's it, that is what I've been striving for all along, for his self-esteem to be as high as mine, because it's tragic that people will dislike themselves and think that's normal and ok.

For next year I want to go back to making lavish feasts most nights, because frankly my kitchen has been lacking in passion lately. It's time to bring some fun and experimentation back to the table. Overeating and gluttony is my main interest and weight gain is a pleasant consequence of that, but it would be lovely if he gained another 15-20lb next year. We'll see!

[CherryPi]

On 11/2/2019 at 11:12 AM, CherryPi said:

 

⬆️ I don't know how I did that and can't work out how to get rid of it...... Fat finger problems! 

[CherryPi]

Things are still going pretty well here. He's starting the new year at 256lb (a 13lb gain since August) and 57.5" waist (up from 51" in December 2018). Last year was a good one! Friends have long since got used to his increasing size and stopped commenting, but a few strangers have said things - "you'd find it easier to get through (the crowd) if you lost a bit of weight" and "you're surprisingly fat from the front!" - which he's taken well and found funny. It makes a nice change for me not to be the butt of all the fat jokes! He consistently refers to himself as 'big' and 'tubby' now as well. 

Just for my own fun, I've made him a 2000kcal dinner the past two nights (you know I love a bit of gluttony) and am hoping to do the same tonight. He's not snacking much in the daytime at the moment so a big evening meal is essential, plus it gives me a lot of pleasure to know he's getting plenty of calories 😁