New to the community please help

[Lolaloves]

Hello, i was wondering if you could help my boyfriend and i were together 6 years (same length of time to his previous relationship before me) he got together quickly with me after her and he was a feeder i entertained the fetish and gained a lot of weight which he enjoyed, i then lost my confidence and didn't want to go out and started dressing differently i didn't like being touched there because i was trying to get used to my body, he went away for a few weeks and when he came back i was smaller and had started a fitness class he withdrew from me all together and has since broken up with me. I guess I'm wondering if the fetish or need is that strong that the relationship aspect or love doesn't equate to the need? And i guess i feel a little hurt as i was trying to give in and i was enjoying all the food etc it was just one class please could i ask some feeders for advice, do you struggle in relationships with non feedees persay?

[CherryPi]

He sounds like an ass and I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I've lost and gained weight several times (sometimes intentionally, sometimes not) and it always takes time to adjust to your body being different and learn to love it. Speaking as a feeder, it can be a struggle being with someone who doesn't enjoy being fat/gaining weight etc but that should never mean you stop respecting or supporting them. They're a person with their own wants and needs, not a toy, but unfortunately some people seem to forget that. I hope you're doing ok. 

[IG-89]

He sounds like a real shit head. At the end of the day it is your body to do with as you please. If he was only interested in you because you were gaining weight then it sounds like you dodged a bullet when he broke up with you.

My wife is not a feedee and has only known about my fetish in the last year. She has gained and lost weight multiple times in our relationship, but at the end of the day I love her no matter what she weighs. She does not want any part of this fetish and that fine with me, but luckily she does have a big appetite so while I don't actively have anything to do with her gaining weight, she does on her own account. But when it comes time for her to get back in shape I don't make a fuss, because my fetish will never be more important than her own body image and what she wants to do with her body.

[tad2920]

That’s the issue with this fetish. Some people are only here for the sexual gratification. You got one of the bad ones unfortunately.

If you like the body-positive community though, there are tons of great people out there who aren’t gonna leave you in the cold when you decide to do what’s best for your body and mental health.

[Guest high]

There are degrees to which a person is a feeder (and same for feedees). 

It sounds like his turn ons were very much tied to you gaining, and that was dominant in his relationship with you. 

If you want a relationship with him, it will involve gaining. Some are ok with that, some not. But there will be a day when you physically can not gain any further, and you have to know if the person will still be there. I think he already answered that.