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subtly encouraging my gf (lesbian)


sapphicfeeder

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15 hours ago, sapphicfeeder said:

I'm so impatient for her to gain even more weight. Current goal is 82kg (180.8lbs) - that will make her officially obese. That's a while off but I think it's possible to achieve next year! Though if she ever calculates her BMI, I wouldn't be surprised if that would trigger a massive dieting attempt. She has always viewed herself as chubby, but in her mind that is firmly separated from being fat, and getting her to accept the latter may be hard.

I know :) My wife is obese class 1 now and in my mind it beats her just being overweight. 

If she is in the habit of calculating her BMI, prepare already. Her main points will be looks and health.

This article is both nicely discouraging to weight loss and at the same time encouraging to weight + health. Or something like this study which, while using some discouraging language, states:

Quote

Overweight and obesity were also associated with lower risk of mortality without CVD

Among those with CVD, overweight compared with normal weight was associated with a lower risk of mortality

She might counter with other studies but there you can argue that just as in nutrition science, these things are correlations, not causation. The above article gives her 4 specific things she can do to be a healthy, fit, fat woman.

For her looks you have to be careful to not fall in the "you're not fat at all!" trap. By the time she's obese you've already long should have laid the groundwork that, as she gains, you "discover" to your "surprise" that you like her with more weight on her. You're not into fat women; you're into her being heavier. You like her so much more with more weight.

So when she does go "hot damn, I'm obese, this has got to stop!", you can do things like "sweetheart, you should see yourself through my eyes; you carry your weight so beautifully, you look so sexy"

And, as an encouraging note, once she would be at the obese level it's going to be very hard, nearly impossible, for her to lose significant weight and keep it off, especially with a good feeder around. Diets can even be a helpful tool. They usually don't work, which helps discourage your girlfriend to even try. When they do work, for a while, encouragement is appropriate -- as are well timed extra rewards. Small portions first (I started mine back with those small 100 calorie chips portions), larger later. Or be helpful with health shakes, many of which contain more calories than a normal balanced meal.

Oh, and the initial weight loss gives you room for feeding again. It's a nice hobby, being a feeder, and the longer it takes, the more fun it can be for you.

Don't worry, the way you're going, if you stay together you're going to have a nicely fat girlfriend. 

Thanks for the ongoing updates. It's nice to be part of your work at such an early stage. Like you we can't wait for her to be obese :)

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She totally pigged out last night, after she had had an exam. Mexican takeaway - quesadillas with extra cheese and chicken wings with mayo both as sides, tortilla for the main, and cajeta cheesecake plus the churros that I got for me with the hope that she'd eat them too for dessert. Cheesecake is probably her favourite dessert, and it's insanely high in calories - I should buy a whole one as a treat and see how many days she takes to finish it. Anyway, her big meal was kind of a reward for getting through one of her toughest exams, at least that's how she rationalised it. She complained how full she was after the cheesecake, but still managed to slowly, absent-mindedly, pick up churro after churro and eat them. She was real cuddly afterwards, and I casually let my hand rest on her stomach while cuddling her.

 

I thought she might still be full this morning, but no, straight to the pantry for a muesli bar to snack on while she chose what to eat, then peanut butter on toast. Probably less than 500 calories all up, but I'm sure she'll eat more later in the day.

 

On 10/24/2019 at 3:13 AM, allgrownup said:

If she is in the habit of calculating her BMI, prepare already. Her main points will be looks and health.

This article is both nicely discouraging to weight loss and at the same time encouraging to weight + health.

I don't know if she has ever calculated her BMI, thankfully, so I won't bring it up unless she ever does - but I think there's enough evidence that BMI is a pretty inadequate tool anyway, so hopefully that can counteract the intuitive freak out to the categorisation of "obese".

 

On 10/24/2019 at 3:13 AM, allgrownup said:

For her looks you have to be careful to not fall in the "you're not fat at all!" trap. By the time she's obese you've already long should have laid the groundwork that, as she gains, you "discover" to your "surprise" that you like her with more weight on her. You're not into fat women; you're into her being heavier. You like her so much more with more weight.

Yeah, this is real good advice. I would love for her to at one point agree to gain x amount of kgs for me, which would require me to tell her explicitly she'd look hotter to me a little heavier, so I wouldn't be able to use the "surprise" angle with that. That would probably work better before she gets too heavy, because it's more plausible / normal for me to request that she gets "thick" as opposed to requesting that she gets "super fat" haha. Maybe when we find out her weight after exams, I can confess that she looks better this way, and see if I can get her to agree to gain an additional 3kg or so for me? Any heavier than that though I'll definitely claim as she gains weight that I'm "surprised to discover" that I prefer her with more meat.

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40 minutes ago, sapphicfeeder said:

Cheesecake is probably her favourite dessert, and it's insanely high in calories - I should buy a whole one as a treat and see how many days she takes to finish it.

My wife loves cake and I started buying those. Instead of slice, a whole cake. Lots of "why not?", "I know you like it so ...", "you deserve it, god knows you have enough going on", etc.

To me normalizing portion distortion, larger quantities, and higher frequencies of food intakes is part of the process, part of the game. "Cake is something for special days....sometimes a piece of cake is fun....we have cake every weekend....there's a cake in the fridge and at noon I have coffee with cake"

45 minutes ago, sapphicfeeder said:

I would love for her to at one point agree to gain x amount of kgs for me, which would require me to tell her explicitly she'd look hotter to me a little heavier, so I wouldn't be able to use the "surprise" angle with that.

You can flip it around. Start by increasing your attention, getting her used that your hands roam to some fat parts as well (treating them as secondary sexual features), and start to "awaken" to the fact you like her. "Did you gain a bit? You look so much sexier these days and, god, you feel sexy." Play it how you want to and go as far with divulging as you think is needed.

Then, for the holidays, you're in a good position to say "me? if you really want to make me happy the best gift, the hottest gift, would be if you're at least 75 kg"

I did exactly that with my wife who did her utmost to stay under that mental barrier of 200 lbs (90.7 kg). She wasn't sure if she could maintain eating like that but she gave it a try, and I got my 200 lbs. She's never dipped under it again :)

The "at least" helps in flipping the request on its head. It's not "I'd like you to be XX kg"; instead it becomes "more is ok, but you can't go under this."  Upcoming diet attempts that go too well you can just bring it back up "you're doing really good with your diet! keep a bit of an eye on it though, ok, so you're not dipping under our 75 kg" Treating it like an agreement to not be under that weight :)

It's seriously the gift that keeps on giving. With mine it brought her to that space where 200 is the new floor and she has all this "space" before her. And the higher you can get that weight, the less likely it is to come (all) off. Kind of a two steps forward, one step backwards.

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