Is there something wrong with me.

[Guest Petey]

I usually don't think much of this but it's been on my mind the past couple of months. I'm 19 just outta high school last year, about 6'3 and I never have had a girlfriend. Never an offer or anyone had any interest. In school I didn't ask anyone either because most of the girls were ghetto and even if they weren't people talk shit. I joined a dating site 2 months ago and asked a couple of the women on there if they were interested but never got any response. I don't know any girls well enough to ask (hell I don't any at all) and there's a couple at work that seem nice but they are spoken for. Back to the title I was wondering if there is something wrong with me, not that I don't have a girl but is there a reason for that? I am kind of an ugly mofo (that's what I was told by quite a few people) but I've seen worse guys than me with girls (not just ugly but acted like a piece of shit). I ain't looking for pussy, I want someone I can spend weekends with, someone who I can drive around with if it's nice, someone who would rather bullshit at home than go to a party. If that sounds like you let me know, if not any advice would help

 

 

[John Smith]

You went from a sad introduction about having issues to form an intimal relationship with women to basically self-crucify yourself as a creeping second-wave incel cliché, just before to use derogative, sexist, bordeline racist perjorations about women.

 

Charming. @Vectrex , is this you again?? 🙄

[Guest grateful]

Plenty of people are inexperienced at 19.

Don't let TV and the movies make you think otherwise.

It's not all about looks either.

Join a club or church or volunteer somewhere and develop some social skills.

Learn to be at ease with others and to appreciate their story.

Learn about you by learning about them.

Before you step out the door to see what you can get from this world,  ask "how can I help?"

Make yourself useful to others and everything good in life will follow.

Thank you John Smith for your remarks, I'm out of rectors for today. LOL

Best of luck Petey.

[Chevalier]

like getting/being promoted at a job it takes a long time to get a meaningful relationship.  I'm unlearning the idea of going all in honestly because foundations are generally very weak, and not worth throwing a ton of money for a day or 2 of fun.  Easier to go a bit more every day I get a chance rather than feel owed.

I would say to socialize and do what you can online (always observe, doesn't have to be a fetish forum), and ignore the white knights who want to pretend they don't start fights (those equal lefts equal rights videos prove otherwise).

Wonder if I should make my signature, until ghosting do we part.

[Guest Petey]

I get kind of nervous around girls, not scared nervous but I don't have much to say. I can carry on a conversation fine it's just usually not stuff that girls are interested in (at least not any I've met) knives, guns, bowling balls, cars, and bad jokes. I was in a bowling league last winter but I was the only person there under 25. Church is out my parents used to make me go and it ruined it for me that and I got a sailor mouth. I guess one of the biggest part problems for me is money. I got a good paying job but I don't have extra money to throw around. I've helped out people in my life quite a bit, gamy cousin a loan for getting a car, helped a friend with her dogs and cats (she's in her 60s), Along with other stuff for family. I've never been a positive attitude guy, I live in a neighborhood with Rich older people and proper families. I get angry stares from everybody for playing kid rock in my car, one guy told me "turn that shit off punk". In high school people took me for someone to mess with and a pushover until one guy went little to far and I knocked him on his ass. My mom thinks I'm gonna be a serial killer cause I sleep with a .22 in my room. Its really pissed me off recently, if you talked to me you wouldn't know cause I don't sound sad or angry. What has life done for me? It's made me cold and uncaring. I had a close family member die last year and I didn't even feel sad or anything. I am either in a good mood or pissed. I thought maybe a relationship would help with some of this. As for being sexist, racist or whatever else you want to call me it wasn't intended that way I'm not good with words and I don't care if I'm politically correct, I'm not a politician

[Guest high]

Fortunately or unfortunately, you're in a time when so many people are connected, yet have never been so lonely. 

I'd caution against lending too much credence to social media and other online games. Use online dating as a tool only to meet up with women. Real life is where relationships are made and kept.

When speaking with women, you want to be interesting to them. That doesn't mean talking about knitting, you're not a woman. It involves listening and responding acknowledging their cares. If you talk about your interests, try to keep it interesting or short. If she wants to know more, she'll ask. Have some interesting or funny stories each week. Don't recycle them. 

Realize that there are a lot of different women out there. Some are family and relationship oriented. Some are interested only in short term hookups. Some just want you to do things for them without reciprocity (friend zone). Decide what you want in a relationship and if you're on a dating site, write your ad copy carefully so you attract only those that you want. Looks are important to a lot of guys, we're very visual, but don't let that blind you to her relationship goals. You want to be compatible.

This part is subjective, but I think guys do better when they present well, and that means being clean cut, showered, smelling good, etc. You can have facial hair, but keep the lines clean, don't be a neckbeard.

Also, don't be pissed. The world is not responsible for your happiness. Be grateful for what you do have, and that positivity will shine through. People get an immediate impression of you, and you need it to be positive. 

Good luck.

[Guest Petey]

well i went to online cause i don't have anywhere to meet women, nobody i know has any female friends, and i'm not exactly good at starting a conversation with random people. it feels like trying to find a job for a manual machinist "minimum 8 years experience" i can't compete with that. the only girl that i ever got a kiss from was my friends basset hound, i love basset hounds but thats not exactly what i'm looking for

[NikeLove1986]

[Guest high]

I'll try this one more time. 

Go to the dating sites to look at the women in your area and then meet up with those who are most compatible with you. Look good, smell good and have some interesting conversation starters. Don't worry about competing with other guys- there's a lot of awkward women out there, too, who are just as concerned about finding the right guy.

There's a lot of books and self help sites about conversation skills if you need. This isn't going to just organically "come together"-you're not that talented. If you were in sales, I'd say maybe.

Other sources of meeting people: Facebook groups for comics, Lego lovers, all other interests. Or meetup.com. Start volunteering for things you care about. All things where you can meet people. 

Don't ask women "if they're interested", that's a stupid as asking if you can kiss a woman (you might as well turn in your Man card). Have the interesting conversations, maybe a little mystery, and they'll let you know that they're interested in hearing more. Always be willing to walk away- needy is not attractive.

And stop sleeping with your gun. If your mom thinks you're going to be a serial killer, don't be proud of that and instead hand her the gun until you're more stable.

 

[Guest Petey]

Just clarifying, I don't sleep with it it sits by my door. I'm not unstable it's just that she hates guns. She thinks anyone with a gun is looking for trouble. She told me that if someone broke in she would go hide in a closet, to be fair that's probably a good idea for her but I will protect my property. I'm not proud of what she says, she can be a smartass. I can be convincing on getting someone to buy something just not good on selling myself. Never been one to go out and get what I want (not agressive or pushy) tend to second guess myself a lot.

 

[Guest high]

Ok, so she's buying into the fear of guns narrative that the media is pushing. That wasn't clear at first. Moving on.

At 19, you're not going to have enough experience to be naturally confident. You're going to have to fake it a bit. 

[NikeLove1986]

1 hour ago, high said:

Ok, so she's buying into the fear of guns narrative that the media is pushing. That wasn't clear at first. Moving on.

At 19, you're not going to have enough experience to be naturally confident. You're going to have to fake it a bit. 

Fake it till you make it Great advice lol... Just use tinder you will find a girl desperate enough to smoosh it out 🤣

[munkki]

On average man want woman that is 21 years old. On average woman want man that is 2 years older than she is. In dating game woman dominate earlier with their looks, but ability to have children weakens towards the age of 40. Instead mans success correlates much more to their status and confidence. Shortly, relax you are not in the top of your game yet, situation will be more favorable for you. Still finding a good companion is never easy. Learn how to talk to unknown people and be interested how is their life going. 

[Russian Troll]

On 9/5/2019 at 5:45 PM, Petey said:

I never have had a girlfriend. Never an offer or anyone had any interest.

Unless you are very good looking and sharply dressed, you can't expect any obvious interest. If you're somewhere and a girl likes you, she might for example be closer to you than she otherwise would.

Suppose you are in an almost empty mess hall. A girl comes in and sits close to you, although she could sit in plenty of other places. That probably indicates interest. 

Anyway, these days basically everyone is out of shape. 
If you were to take gym seriously, and you kinda should. Still might have some extra hormones from puberty in your system, you could get a real edge out over other guys by being athletic. 

 

[Guest Petey]

I ain't got money for a gym. Making car payments on my g37 got gas and other stuff to pay for as well. I can't spoil a girl with expensive jewelry and stuff so that's another area I can't compete with. That's the other problem a lot of online sites let you sign up for free but you gotta pay to do anything. Not gonna pay $25 for something that might be a waste of time

[NikeLove1986]

Okcupid @Petey it's free and your guaranteed to meet a girl. If that doesn't work then your not making an effort here because this is not a dating forum here lol... just try it out 

[WatermelonMan]

No offense, but in your photo you look like an "active shooter." 

You're also addicted to complaining. Not attractive.

Watch "The Tao of Steve." Fat guy with method gets all sorts of girls.

"Learn to do something amazing."

 

G'luck. 

[Guest Petey]

Picture was taken at work on break. I don't complain that much if you actually know me, I'm more likely to just deal with bullshit than complain. If it gets real bad I might ask if they wanna fight, never gotten to that point though. Learn to do something amazing? It's hard to do anything amazing without getting the cops called anymore. Not that I can think of anything to do anyway. I'll punch just about anything from drywall to a cinderblock, I like gun spinning but that goes back to the first point. I like driving fast but my car ain't nothing special (neither is the driver). I got nothing to show off. If it sounds like I have a really negative attitude it's because I got nothing to smile about. I feel like the only reason I get up in the morning is for work. I got no one who needs me no other reason for getting up. On the weekend I've got nothing to do, I sit around and check emails and watch TV. It seems like my life is one big circle from week to week. Damn near everyone in my family is embarrassed to be seen with me except my cousin, because I don't dress "proper" and I'm not going to church and I cuss.

[Russian Troll]

You want a solid piece of advice: read the dating advice book 'Models' by Mark Manson. 

https://markmanson.net/books/models

It's the only book endorsed by both red pill  types and 'feminist' dating advice people. 

Go, read the book, try to understand it. Then practice talking to women in whatever context you can manage, so it stops being a new thing. 

[WatermelonMan]

"Poor, poor pitiful me." 

[Guest Petey]

2 hours ago, WatermelonMan said:

"Poor, poor pitiful me." 

You'd be feeling pretty poor if you said that in front of me. Don't judge my side of the fence until you have the balls to jump it. I ain't looking for pity or smartasses which is most of what I got from people here.