Troubled Feeder Looking for Advice

[Thepenman12]

Hi all!

I am a long time lurker, first time poster, looking for advice on how to balance this fetish with a long lasting healthy relationship. I'm currently dating (and living with) a girl that I love deeply, yet I'm having trouble reconciling the fact that she's not necessarily into what I'm into. She's pretty hefty, 5"3 between 250 and 260, and entertains my kink in the bedroom to an extent, but I have this feeling that I should be with someone who is fully onboard with my fetish. 

I'm wondering if anyone else has run into this issue in the dating world, and if so, how did you resolve this conflict. 

Thanks!

[Guest high]

It's a tease, 'cause you can never feed someone indefinitely. You love her lots, so you can open up yourself to her. It can go either way; she's either weirded out or maybe indulges your fantasies. Gotta be ready for either. 

 

[Voluptuouslover]

It sounds like you have it pretty good....she is quite heavy and probably going to keep getting heavier.  She plays around a bit in the bedroom during sex.  I mean I think you have 80% of things going with your FA weight gain fetish you are a very lucky one already.

[Thepenman12]

 

1 hour ago, Voluptuouslover said:

It sounds like you have it pretty good....she is quite heavy and probably going to keep getting heavier.  She plays around a bit in the bedroom during sex.  I mean I think you have 80% of things going with your FA weight gain fetish you are a very lucky one already.

Thanks, you make a very good point. I guess my concern is potentially missing out on fully living out this kink. Although I guess that's what makes then fantasies in a way. 

[Guest grateful]

As a guy, I think we're always thinking about the herd-but who is actually with you right now? Not the fantasy women, but a real one you confess that you love.

As an experiment, say 90 days before you take off in search of a "fetishly comapatible mate" try making it all about her.

Get out of your head and shower attention and appreciation on her. Your goal is to create a stronger and stronger experience for her. find out her secrets, what turns her on.

Become her dream guy. Make it all about her, and fulfilling her needs and desires.  The results may surprise you.

This board is full of stories about how much weight old GF's gained, and despite the weight gain and living in the fat world and getting to play out their fantasies - those relationships did not last.

I know one thing about me: if I was able to get everything I wanted in the past, I probably wouldn't be here today due to death.

Sometimes life puts the brakes on,  so we don't incarcerate ourselves in our own vices.

However, if you don't care enough,  she deserves to be set free. Don't waste her time.

(not finger wagging-heartfelt sharing from my own life)

 

 

 

[allgrownup]

In a marriage you live with the limitations you can accept. If there are 10 points to score on, no partner is going to score 10 on 10. Your next partner might score high in the feeder fetish range but she could be an absolute pain in the butt about something else. 

While sex, and especially it’s delicacy kink, is real fun, it’s really not the center point of life or a relationship. 

Plus, you have it good. You start out with a fat woman who meets you halfway in the bedroom. With a bit of effort on your side — treating her like a queen, serving her every need, maybe doing a bunch of her tasks to keep her more immobile — you can grow her out over the years. 

[Thepenman12]

I appreciate all of the helpful feedback. And you all make some solid points. Sometimes hard to see a relationship clearly when you're deep in it, and focused on what I don't have rather than what I do. 

In good news, I bought a huge tiramisu cake today for us to share. I stepped out to go to the gym and I found out that she ate it all. Not sure if she ate it for me or for herself but she definitely scraped that packaging clean. 

[Voluptuouslover]

I don’t think right exactly now that matters.  The fact is she ate all of it and is going to gain even more weight with these eating habits.  I think if you keep picking up the sweets and extra fattening meals you will be able to flirt enough about the weight gain or eating to figure it out.

[Thepenman12]

That's a great point. Hopefully she keeps it up. Had a huge dinner as well tonight. She's always been a big eater, so I guess that works out. Thanks for the kind words of advice all!

[Thepenman12]

Fun little update. The other day she got a bunch of clothes in the mail that she ordered a little over a month ago. None of them fit, which she was kind of disappointed by. Felt a little guilty that I enjoyed watching her struggle into things that definitely did not fit. Idk if she's gained weight because she's got very wide hips so fitting into clothes is always an issue. She was a little upset for about twenty minutes then asked me to go to the store to get her some ice cream. Of course I agreed wholeheartedly and came back with a good sized thing of cookie dough ice cream. She ate the entire thing and still complained of being hungry. Unsure if this was done for me or not but I definitely enjoyed it.

[allgrownup]

This is typically something they do for themselves. Something nice happens: celebrate with some food. Something sad/bad has happened: comfort yourself with some food. 

It's the kind of behavior you want to encourage and enable. If you know that cookie dough ice cream is her fallback or her sin, have a tub or 2 in the freezer at all times. 11:30 PM, watching Netflix, a big sigh "do we have some ice cream?" and your answer is yes. A loving feeder never has to say "no, we'll have to buy some"

[Thepenman12]

17 hours ago, allgrownup said:

This is typically something they do for themselves. Something nice happens: celebrate with some food. Something sad/bad has happened: comfort yourself with some food. 

It's the kind of behavior you want to encourage and enable. If you know that cookie dough ice cream is her fallback or her sin, have a tub or 2 in the freezer at all times. 11:30 PM, watching Netflix, a big sigh "do we have some ice cream?" and your answer is yes. A loving feeder never has to say "no, we'll have to buy some"

She is 100% that, and she's aware of it too and has no issue with it, which is certainly a bonus.

Actually just stocked our fridge with all sorts of ice cream, chocolates and junk snacks, so we'll see if it plays any role in her diet, hah. Funny enough she asked me to stock our house with more junk food, guess she hated not having something to snack on. So still unsure whether she's indulging for herself or indulging for me, then again, I don't have a problem with either.