Should/how do I tell this girl about this fetish?

[Trillions]

Hello all,

Long time member of this site across a few accounts. I discovered I had this fetish at a very young age. I can remember being in kindergarten age student and hearing about weight gain/fat making me feel weird or even turned on (if that’s possible at that age). References and similar things gave me this feeling my whole life up until I discovered porn and subsequently this exact fetish. I’ve often felt in denial about having it. I’ve tried to get rid of it through nofap and pornfree at times, but it’s always come back. 

Ive never told anyone about this fetish. The closest I’ve came was my longest relationship of 2+ years where I told my ex some of it. I’d feed her during sex sometimes, could get her to weigh herself, play with her belly and she would tell me how chubby she was gonna get, etc. she never really gained any weight over the course of it but I never truly told her all about it. That’s one of my biggest regrets, but it can’t be changed now. After that relationship, I slept around with girls of all different body types from rail thin to thick. Never really bbw, but a couble were what some would call chubby. I enjoyed the thick girls the most, the ones with curves but not super big, and I didn’t really think about the weight gain part of the fetish with them as I would with the skinnier ones.

As for the real question, I’ve met this girl 6 months ago who is quite honestly the sweetest and most genuine girl I’ve ever talked to. I haven’t been the relationship type in a long while, but she makes me think about it (I’m 21). The issue is that she’s very thin and inside myself this desire burns for me to  thicken her up sexually. I’ve tried to tell her but I can’t put it to words and we aren’t dating either so I feel it’s an awful lot to ask of someone. This post was long and truthfully I don’t even know if I got the point across. I’ve never really talked with anyone about this, so really any help/experience you folks would be willing to contribute I’d be all ears for. 

[Voluptuouslover]

It sounds like weight gain and fat on the woman you are with is kind of a bob compromise to me?

i know for myself as time went on I desired more and more weight on women or my significant other.  Not saying you are the same but many FA’s who are I to weight gain have mentioned the same thing around these boards.

i would say take it real slow as friends but if it develops as more serious you should really discuss it in some fashion to get it out there.  If you are anything like I was I usually hinted around to my girlfriends or flat out told them to a degree but my girlfriends were always chubby to chunky to slightly fat....I never really fell for a skinny one.

[Guest ssbbwlove]

My significant other asked me when we were still in a bit of a talking phase what kind of porn I watched. It made me very nervous at the time, but I decided to be brutally honest and say BBW and SSBBW. Seeing as she was a 300 lb woman at the time, I think it upset her a little because she thought I just liked her because she was fat (which wasn’t true; I saw it as a big perk, but the reality was and still is I like her for her). We’ve been together over a year and we’re very happy together. I think telling her about my fetish did a couple things: 1) Realize she didn’t need to try to change for me (she’s actually gained upward of 50 lb unintentionally since we got together). 2) Establish that I’m an open book and I’d tell her the truth no matter what which I think strengthened our trust. 

Hope this little anecdote helps

[extra_m13]

i think for any true FA it is vital to share that with his partner, there is no other way to have a long lasting honest relationship

[John Smith]

At this point, just try to speak to her. Giver her some bits of insights sbout what's turn you on, progressively. 

[Pudgy_Pixie]

As Someone who was on the other side of this dilemma, my partner told me his preferences and desire to see me gain pretty early in our relationship. I myself had been anorexic in my teenage years and had been through the road of recovery. At the time he told me I was relatively thin still around 7 stone but I had no idea people were into fatter people ( I know naïve ) But he was very honest and upfront about it all and over time its something we can talk about openly every day. Obviously not everyone is going to react the same but I think most people are open and will be at least willing to discuss stuff. Anyone who reacts badly and like shuts you down or makes you feel weird isn't going to be the right person for you . Everyone has there own preferences and fetishes so she may open up to you about hers. Talking and communication are never bad , were all always learning and experiencing the world. Hope this rambling helps.

 

[Chevalier]

On 8/15/2019 at 12:27 PM, ssbbwlove said:

My significant other asked me when we were still in a bit of a talking phase what kind of porn I watched. It made me very nervous at the time, but I decided to be brutally honest and say BBW and SSBBW. Seeing as she was a 300 lb woman at the time, I think it upset her a little because she thought I just liked her because she was fat (which wasn’t true; I saw it as a big perk, but the reality was and still is I like her for her). We’ve been together over a year and we’re very happy together. I think telling her about my fetish did a couple things: 1) Realize she didn’t need to try to change for me (she’s actually gained upward of 50 lb unintentionally since we got together). 2) Establish that I’m an open book and I’d tell her the truth no matter what which I think strengthened our trust. 

Hope this little anecdote helps

What a frustrating woman, glad you can tolerate her.  Do suppose the rite of passage is to manage people.

To be on topic: I would say show don't tell.  Relationship with food can be fun, maybe alcohol if she isn't too susceptible.  There's so much one can get away with when either:

1) Telling the Truth in a way nobody believes, we see this all the time with superheroes' saying their secret identity

2) Constantly treat her to food when she does want something.  It is fun to playfight that you're making her fat when she catches on.  I've been successful on a few occasions and it's more fun imo than actual weight gain given the fun memories.

[Guest ssbbwlove]

4 hours ago, Chevalier said:

What a frustrating woman, glad you can tolerate her.  Do suppose the rite of passage is to manage people.

Are you referring to me? You quoted me, but this doesn’t make a lot of sense given what I said. 

[Chevalier]

12 hours ago, ssbbwlove said:

Are you referring to me? You quoted me, but this doesn’t make a lot of sense given what I said. 

Makes perfect sense. Or are you telling me you don't moderate bizarre inconveniences as a reaction to showcase your attraction to a woman. I had to get better at doing that myself, to have anything meaningful. Then of course she gained anyway, after being initially critical of your tastes.

Just helps to deflect that initial backlash a woman has, whether aimed at herself or you, should she have one of those lows like you're saying that just because, or you only like this aspect of me.

Serious erupting moodkillers. I can't salvage everything, though I try, and with the right one or so I'm able to find a silver lining on those  to elevate her when she is ready. Timing is everything