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ssbbwlove

Should I convince my SO to gain weight?

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Backstory: My SO weighs around 350 lb and has gained around 50 lb since knowing me (she’s known me for a year). She knows about my fetish, but I’ve never made her intentionally gain. The reason she has gained is her lifestyle. She doesn’t exercise and she tended to eat when she got sad (I don’t know if she still does this) or really whenever she felt hungry (there have been times that she ate dinner, but would still be hungry and eat a dinner-sized meal later on). Also contributing to her gain was the fact that she knew I would love her no matter what; she has said something along the lines of “I wasn’t trying too hard to impress you fitness-wise because I know you’d love me no matter what.” I haven’t asked her to gain because the reality is, she doesn’t really like that she is fat (yet doesn’t do anything about it, and I haven’t done anything about it). The fact that she gained so much in a year without trying to gain weight sometimes make me fantasize about how big she could get if she was trying. What I think I could do if I knew what to do is convince her that she’s sexy as is, and once she’s comfortable with her size, maybe then bring up getting bigger. But that’s the thing, I don’t know how to do that or if I even should. I’ll love her no matter her size so even if I can’t convince her to get bigger, it’s no big deal; it’s just the side of me that has this fetish kinda wants to see her gain. 

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On ‎8‎/‎7‎/‎2019 at 9:22 PM, ssbbwlove said:

I haven’t asked her to gain because the reality is, she doesn’t really like that she is fat

That's pretty much the answer to your dilemma really. If you bring up the subject of her getting bigger, though she probably most likely won't want to, she may feel a sense of obligation to do so to please you or feel in some way she's disappointing you if she doesn't. It sounds like you have a good thing going already, it would be a shame to spoil it just for the sake of a few more pounds that due to her eating habits she's most likely going to gain anyway.

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That’s true. As a little update, the day I posted this, she asked me to take a video of her doing something and upon seeing it, she said she looked fat and felt fat which put her in a sour mood. After distracting ourselves with TV she got out of the funk. Still, the last couple days, she’s continued to do the thing where she eats dinner and then basically eats another meal later. 

I think the plan is to just let her continue doing what she’s doing and let her gradually gain, and if she becomes more accepting of her size, then bring up intentionally gaining. 

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I’ll love her no matter her size so even if I can’t convince her to get bigger, it’s no big deal; it’s just the side of me that has this fetish kinda wants to see her gain. 

And that's what you have to share with her, as I have done with mine (you've seen my thread).

You love her and like some men prefer big boobs, you prefer bigger women. Present it as normal as that. Ensure her that no matter what weight she's at, you love her. "Just know that if you do gain, I won't find you ugly; honestly, I would probably find you even more attractive -- but don't feel you have to lose or gain on my behalf"

Remove the pressure.

Then let her do her thing. She's growing very well, isn't she? Keep making that an easy thing for her. Have her favorite food in the house, make snacking easy, etc. 

If the idea of having her more involved turns you on, one day ask her "how about gaining a few pounds for my birthday?" and see how she reacts. 

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upon seeing it, she said she looked fat and felt fat which put her in a sour mood

That's where you come in, not ever telling her "oh no darling, you're not fat at all" but acknowledging with her that she's fat but then framing it positively. "Babe, I know you're a bit heavier than those twigs they show on TV, but I think a mature sexy woman like you should look like this; you're really a turn-on for me"

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I’ll definitely consider that. I feel like I am doing some of the things you’ve mentioned here and the other thread: if we go to the grocery store and she sees a snack item she wants, I usually get it without hesitation, her favorite snack, Reese’s Pieces are in a big bag and I’ve seen it move around so I know she snacks on them (though not at a fast rate as she hasn’t emptied it yet). She knows I like her for her so I think the pressure is removed. And while I’m still not confident enough to play with her belly the way I would like to, I typically rest my hand on it when I’m cuddling her and she’s fine with it. I think what I really need to work on is the response to “I’m fat/I feel fat.” I obviously can’t tell a 350ish lb woman she isn’t fat (I’ve made that slip before). I’ll try to start integrating your advice on that, but gently. 

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Not really an update; just something I thought about. A few months back, I believe around the last time she went to the doctor, she decided to start drinking zero calorie sodas as a baby step to trying to start a better lifestyle. I think that only lasted a month before she went back to regular sodas, and a lot of them. There’s been times I’m pretty sure she’s had 4 a day which is about 500-600 calories. Not sure if she’s aware she’s drinking this much, but since she doesn’t exercise, this gives me hope that this alone will help her gain. It also gives me hope that she truly doesn’t want to make an effort to lose weight which might make intentionally gaining more appealing to her. Still want to get over that “I look/feel fat” barrier, first, though. 

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Update just to brag on my girl: She ate so much this afternoon. Some wings, a good chunk of a medium pizza, and some frozen yoghurt (plus a burger and fries for lunch while lazing around all day), and the night is still young; she may even want more. I get the feeling that she doesn’t really care what she’s eating as long as it’s good, and that excites me. Also when she asked to get frozen yoghurt, I enthusiastically said yes, hopefully putting a positive outlook on getting food. 

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Update: Discovered her birth control (which she unfortunately forgets to take a lot) gives her a pretty big appetite. The other day when she did take it, we went to a restaurant, and she had an appetizer, her food, and nibbled on my fries (she would have eaten what I hadn’t if she didn’t ask me to stop her). She said something along the lines of “I know I’m going to get hungry later because I’m on my birth control” and sure enough, she got pizza and dessert. Definitely have to encourage her to take her birth control more often; it’s not too obvious that my goal is to get her to eat more, and I know she’ll do it if I remind her.

Also, I’ve been essentially seeing if I could just mention if she wanted something if she even slightly hinted towards wanting it. It’s really only worked for the appetizer from the other night, but I think she almost took my offers of cookies and chicken nuggets as well. Honestly, this feels like the biggest win; I’ve always wondered not only if she should eat more, but if she could. She has a relatively big appetite, but I didn’t know if she could just pig out whenever. The fact that I’m mentioning things she wants and she’s game for eating them makes me think I can make her eat way more than she is now by making her feel like she can have whatever whenever. 

I’m also asking “do you want anything else from the store?” whenever I go, hoping she’ll say some sort of snack, but so far she hasn’t (to be honest, I might be able to use the same “just suggest it” tactic and she might go for it).

Final note, she wanted to snack on some things in bed last night so she did and now she has some snacks in the bedroom, hopefully making eating accessible pretty much anywhere at our place. 

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Try just picking up things from the store you know she likes. Then mention it ("go some milk and also those peanut cookies you like so much") or present it ("here, got some apple pie today as well; God knows you deserve it")

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making her feel like she can have whatever whenever

That's always a good strategy: make her feel safe about eating and gaining.

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“I know I’m going to get hungry later

That's where that feeling safe comes in. Good time to underline; "and that's OK babe" or "there's nothing wrong with that, you know that"

Sounds like you can grow her out a bit more. What's your goal for her? 400 lbs?

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2 minutes ago, allgrownup said:

Sounds like you can grow her out a bit more. What's your goal for her? 400 lbs?

To be honest, I don’t know yet. I know some of my favorite SSBBW models are 500-600 lb but I don’t know how practical that would be. Maybe 400 is at least a good cutoff point, for now, and we’ll see from there. 

Micro update: She put on some shorts we got a couple months back on. They didn’t fit her the best then, but they’re really tight now so I think it’s safe to say she is still gaining weight. Best part about it is she didn’t complain about getting fat; she didn’t say anything which I think is a good sign. 

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Another small update: She ate a pretty big dinner, then later, she wanted something from a place that normally delivers, but for whatever reason, it wasn’t delivering at that hour yet the restaurant itself was open. I offered to go get what she wanted and she told me to do it. Hoping this just further reinforces that she can eat whatever whenever and that I will gladly go out of my way to get it. 

Also, we need something from the store so I’m going to put the picking up a snack for her to the test later. I have a snack in mind that she just kept eating last time it was at our place, and it’s tempting to get multiple, but I want this to be an “out-of-the-blue” surprise that she hopefully won’t think twice about and I think if I get too much, she’ll get suspicious. 

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12 minutes ago, ssbbwlove said:

I have a snack in mind that she just kept eating last time it was at our place, and it’s tempting to get multiple, but I want this to be an “out-of-the-blue” surprise that she hopefully won’t think twice about and I think if I get too much, she’ll get suspicious. 

Good idea. 

For things mine eats regularly I keep a good supply in the house so she never runs out. Then, when she does want to cut down, there's always just a little bit to finish  first :)

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I will gladly go out of my way to get it

That's definitely our role in this. I get food, make food, bring food. I take care of a lot/most of the household so she doesn't have to move. I want her to be used to a pampered lifestyle where she only has to chew and swallow, not much else.

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22 minutes ago, allgrownup said:

That's definitely our role in this. I get food, make food, bring food. I take care of a lot/most of the household so she doesn't have to move. I want her to be used to a pampered lifestyle where she only has to chew and swallow, not much else.

Yeah. She’s already pretty lazy and makes me do most of the household stuff anyway which can get exhausting, but at least that’s less energy she’s using, I guess. 

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I know this is like the third time I’m posting today, but I’m really excited about this one; she asked me to pick up something from the store (I haven’t gone yet). I’m still going to get the other snack so I’m excited to have two things she can and hopefully will snack on at our place. 

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It honestly sounds like you have an amazing situation going as is. Depending on your age, a girl in the 350s during her 20s will easily be well over 400 in her 30s and 40s. You dont need to rush things, she's growing herself at this point. You've already got a massive girl :) I commented in AllGrownUp's thread about an experience I had with an ex training her with milkshakes. Very effective when done right. My current partner is 340 and she wants to hit 425 in a few years. As much as I'm excited about the extra weight, I've got plenty of fat to play with as is

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Good prints @Bubblegump: it has to stay sustainable. When you’re not just an FA but also a feeder, that can be hard. The process and progress itself are part of the fun. 

Having grown mine quickly from 195-ish to 220-ish in a year, and now waiting to see if I can stave off a weight loss surgery, I’m counting on the long game again. The position she’s in weight gain is inevitable. The longer I can make it last, the more years of feeding and weight gain I have ahead of me.   

 

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On 8/15/2019 at 5:12 PM, NikeLove1986 said:

Dude pics plz this is sounding very interesting now 👍😎

I’d rather not. For starters, I don’t have many good recent pictures because she hates when I take pictures of her so I don’t (the less pictures I have of her, the less she tells herself she’s fat, anyway so not complaining about my lack of pics). 

 

On 8/15/2019 at 5:47 PM, Bubblegump said:

It honestly sounds like you have an amazing situation going as is. Depending on your age, a girl in the 350s during her 20s will easily be well over 400 in her 30s and 40s. You dont need to rush things, she's growing herself at this point. You've already got a massive girl :) I commented in AllGrownUp's thread about an experience I had with an ex training her with milkshakes. Very effective when done right. My current partner is 340 and she wants to hit 425 in a few years. As much as I'm excited about the extra weight, I've got plenty of fat to play with as is

Completely agree. I’ve decided to not “force” anything on her, but I am nudging her to eat more, hopefully subtly. 

Speaking of milkshakes, she expressed interest in getting a blender recently. I’m not sure why she wants one, but if we end up getting one, I’m excited about possibly making her shakes. I feel like if I can do that, she’ll gain like crazy. 

As a side note, it might be my imagination or wishful thinking, but she seems bigger. Something about her face feels like it’s chubbier and her arms, legs, ass, and belly look bigger. I think she also said one of her bras is now too small. Hopefully I’m not imagining things because if I’m not, I like where this is going!

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