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Should I convince my SO to gain weight?

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Guest ssbbwlove

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I’ll love her no matter her size so even if I can’t convince her to get bigger, it’s no big deal; it’s just the side of me that has this fetish kinda wants to see her gain. 

And that's what you have to share with her, as I have done with mine (you've seen my thread).

You love her and like some men prefer big boobs, you prefer bigger women. Present it as normal as that. Ensure her that no matter what weight she's at, you love her. "Just know that if you do gain, I won't find you ugly; honestly, I would probably find you even more attractive -- but don't feel you have to lose or gain on my behalf"

Remove the pressure.

Then let her do her thing. She's growing very well, isn't she? Keep making that an easy thing for her. Have her favorite food in the house, make snacking easy, etc. 

If the idea of having her more involved turns you on, one day ask her "how about gaining a few pounds for my birthday?" and see how she reacts. 

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upon seeing it, she said she looked fat and felt fat which put her in a sour mood

That's where you come in, not ever telling her "oh no darling, you're not fat at all" but acknowledging with her that she's fat but then framing it positively. "Babe, I know you're a bit heavier than those twigs they show on TV, but I think a mature sexy woman like you should look like this; you're really a turn-on for me"

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Try just picking up things from the store you know she likes. Then mention it ("go some milk and also those peanut cookies you like so much") or present it ("here, got some apple pie today as well; God knows you deserve it")

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making her feel like she can have whatever whenever

That's always a good strategy: make her feel safe about eating and gaining.

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“I know I’m going to get hungry later

That's where that feeling safe comes in. Good time to underline; "and that's OK babe" or "there's nothing wrong with that, you know that"

Sounds like you can grow her out a bit more. What's your goal for her? 400 lbs?

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12 minutes ago, ssbbwlove said:

I have a snack in mind that she just kept eating last time it was at our place, and it’s tempting to get multiple, but I want this to be an “out-of-the-blue” surprise that she hopefully won’t think twice about and I think if I get too much, she’ll get suspicious. 

Good idea. 

For things mine eats regularly I keep a good supply in the house so she never runs out. Then, when she does want to cut down, there's always just a little bit to finish  first :)

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I will gladly go out of my way to get it

That's definitely our role in this. I get food, make food, bring food. I take care of a lot/most of the household so she doesn't have to move. I want her to be used to a pampered lifestyle where she only has to chew and swallow, not much else.

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Good prints @Bubblegump: it has to stay sustainable. When you’re not just an FA but also a feeder, that can be hard. The process and progress itself are part of the fun. 

Having grown mine quickly from 195-ish to 220-ish in a year, and now waiting to see if I can stave off a weight loss surgery, I’m counting on the long game again. The position she’s in weight gain is inevitable. The longer I can make it last, the more years of feeding and weight gain I have ahead of me.   

 

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Just start to make good natured comments. Like when she wants the 30 count, say "it sure is a good beauty regime, that I know"

it’s not bad complimenting your woman. The problem only arises when you present it as a condition. 

Compare... she sees you lifting something heavy and says ‘mmmmm, I like my man with some muscle, that’s nice’ vs ‘I like muscled men, you should work out’

Make her feel safe, secure, and accepted as she is or will be; same, lighter, heavier. Just as you liked her in that pair of jeans but won’t divorce her if she wears the other pair of jeans. Remove the Heavy Handed All Encompassing Tension by just making it a regular thing

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  • 1 month later...

Yeah, don't worry too much. People talk for years, all well intended. "I should stop smoking", "I'm going to bed on time, I need my sleep", "I'm going Mediterranean so I'll eat more veggies", "I should train", "I'm going to increase by 1 pushup a week", "I'm going to stop drinking...or at least cut back to only weekends...." 

If you can connect with any of those ideas then you can connect with a woman's "I want to lose weight." Take it in the same seriousness of the moment, be considerate, but remember that like most people she'll want to "light up" another cake, "drink" another donut, and give herself a pass -- just for today! --  on doing that exercise.

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  • 3 months later...
19 hours ago, ssbbwlove said:

I know one road block remains: her double chin. She always hides it when taking pictures and I know she’s super insecure about it. I find it very attractive, and when I get the right opportunity, I’m going to tell her. Honesty has gotten me this far, I’m sure it will prevail again.

In the same way I slowly got her used to me touching her fat all over, I did with her double chin. Delicious. But it is maybe the weakest point for her. She's asked me not to do it, it makes her very self aware.

I'm thinking that a woman who doesn't gain because she has the kink but just because it happens remains between "I don't care anymore", "at least he finds me pretty", and "I wish I was thin" forever. You seem to never come to the place where you go "well, that was that, I'm done; she feels good about being fat now"

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