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Should I convince my SO to gain weight?

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Guest ssbbwlove

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8 hours ago, ssbbwlove said:

Completely agree. I’ve decided to not “force” anything on her, but I am nudging her to eat more, hopefully subtly. 

Speaking of milkshakes, she expressed interest in getting a blender recently. I’m not sure why she wants one, but if we end up getting one, I’m excited about possibly making her shakes. I feel like if I can do that, she’ll gain like crazy. 

If you can slowly work heavy cream in it will do wonders. 2000 calories a night will make even a girl your size already balloon fast. My ex went from plus size to massive with that approach

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Guest ssbbwlove

Update: After eating dinner a few hours later she was hungry and wanted chicken. She joked about getting a 30 count and it took everything in me not to encourage that. For now, I still want to be subtle about this and that would have blown my cover for sure. I still didn’t discourage it; she said just kidding and we laughed it off.  Maybe I’ll have the courage to encourage that later, but not now. 

Later in the night, I brushed my hand on her boob hoping to be subtle, but she noticed, and I told her I was hoping she wouldn’t notice. She told me I’m not that subtle and that made me wonder how much she knows. Does she know I’ve been getting her to eat more? I think she told me before she notices when I stare at/quickly play with her belly. I kinda hope she does suspect/know because that means she’s on board with it, but I still don’t know and am a little scared to find out. 

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Just start to make good natured comments. Like when she wants the 30 count, say "it sure is a good beauty regime, that I know"

it’s not bad complimenting your woman. The problem only arises when you present it as a condition. 

Compare... she sees you lifting something heavy and says ‘mmmmm, I like my man with some muscle, that’s nice’ vs ‘I like muscled men, you should work out’

Make her feel safe, secure, and accepted as she is or will be; same, lighter, heavier. Just as you liked her in that pair of jeans but won’t divorce her if she wears the other pair of jeans. Remove the Heavy Handed All Encompassing Tension by just making it a regular thing

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On 8/21/2019 at 3:31 PM, allgrownup said:

@Bubblegump I still really like this idea. I've been feeding mine cakes and pies last year, with much success, but probably next summer I'm going to see if I can get her to drink shakes. At least a couple of times, just for the fun of loading a ton of calories into her :)

It doesn't have to be just summer, by using hot chocolate you can make it a year round activity. It's definitely addicting to push your luck with it, so I'm sure it will be more than a couple times lol.

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest ssbbwlove

Sorry about this being a while between updates, but no real big news has happened since the last update. She’s basically been having the same habits with me (hopefully) subtly encouraging them. I’m away from her on a business trip and she told me she ate what I figured out was over 1000 calories of snack cakes because she was lonely and bored. I wish I was better about responding to that because all I said was a half-hearted “oh no.” She also ordered a 4XL dress and apparently it was a bit snug around her belly which is exciting. She also ordered a lot of food while she was really hungry then didn’t feel as hungry later. I suggested just saving it for later, but there were fries which obviously don’t taste good when you save them for later. I suggested just eating the fries, but she immediately objected saying “no, eating that way is how I got up to 350 lb  in the first place.” That has me a little defeated, but at least 1) she ordered a bunch of food just because she wanted it and 2) she openly talked about her weight which rarely happens. I guess that means intentional gaining is definitely off the table for some time, but the way she’s eating, she’ll definitely get bigger so I’m not too worried yet. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest ssbbwlove

Some highs and lows. She recently had a meltdown because of her weight. She doesn’t think she looks good in a lot of things because she doesn’t like when things accentuate her belly, and with a belly as big as hers, a lot of things do. I told her she looked good in something she was trying on, she looked at herself in it and said “you think I look good in anything because you fetishize my fat.” While this is somewhat correct (I think she’d be beautiful skinny, too, but I obviously much prefer her fat), it kinda hurt me. Then came a weird moment; she complained about how gluttonous and lazy she is and how huge she is, comparing herself to whales, hippos, etc., saying she wouldn’t be surprised if she was 370-380 lb or even 400 (personally, if I had to hazard a guess, I’d say she’s 365-370 lb right now). It’s a strange feeling having things that turn you on so much being yelled at you in a disgusted tone. Anyway, she started a new job where she stands all day and at which she takes her ADD medicine for which apparently suppresses her appetite which has me worried she’ll lose weight. 

Enough of the lows, she did eat what I think is more than normal yesterday; dinner, the second dinner she always seems to do, plus dessert which she doesn’t always do and when we cuddled that night, I spent a lot of time with my hand on her belly without her saying anything. Oh and with her new job, I’m in control of cooking dinner, more. Hopefully the opportunity to make it a bit more fattening will arise soon. 

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Yeah, don't worry too much. People talk for years, all well intended. "I should stop smoking", "I'm going to bed on time, I need my sleep", "I'm going Mediterranean so I'll eat more veggies", "I should train", "I'm going to increase by 1 pushup a week", "I'm going to stop drinking...or at least cut back to only weekends...." 

If you can connect with any of those ideas then you can connect with a woman's "I want to lose weight." Take it in the same seriousness of the moment, be considerate, but remember that like most people she'll want to "light up" another cake, "drink" another donut, and give herself a pass -- just for today! --  on doing that exercise.

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Guest ssbbwlove

She seems to also think her standing all day plus her taking her medicine is going to end up making her lose weight (she apparently burned over 1000 calories standing, today, and I kinda doubt she ate enough to exceed that). I really don’t want that to happen, but I don’t know what to do. Can’t make her quit, and I don’t want her to not take her medicine because it helps her focus at work. I think the best course of action is to see where it goes and maybe work up the courage to say something if I start to notice her weight go down. 

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There's no way that's true, unless she's a postman. 1000kcal is 9 miles on my fitness app; adjusted for someone larger and less fit, 1000kcal would still be around 5 miles, maybe more. I work in a warehouse walking for about 7 hours a day and only clock up 3 - 3.5 miles.......

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Guest ssbbwlove
5 hours ago, CherryPi said:

There's no way that's true, unless she's a postman. 1000kcal is 9 miles on my fitness app; adjusted for someone larger and less fit, 1000kcal would still be around 5 miles, maybe more. I work in a warehouse walking for about 7 hours a day and only clock up 3 - 3.5 miles.......

That’s reassuring and makes a lot of sense in retrospect. She did say her watch said 14 hours of standing which doesn’t really add up considering when she’s not working, she’s laying on the couch while I pretty much do everything for her because she’s so tired and she only works 8 hours per day. There’s a phantom 6 hours of standing that I have no idea where it could be coming from. Perhaps that’s good news; maybe this mindset of her thinking she’s losing weight will take her mind off her actual weight. 

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Yeah, it's a common misconception that exercise burns a lot more calories than it actually does. If the new job is more active than she's used to it could work in your favour - like docroxxo said, she might treat herself to more snacks because she thinks she's burned a lot of calories, and a lot of people will eat more (especially sugary food) if they're tired from a hard day at work. 

Also, the fitter you are, the lighter you feel, because your muscles are stronger and better able to cope with your weight. I'm 220lbs (supposedly obese for my height) but feel light as a feather because I'm very fit. It's a shock to look in the mirror and see a fat person because I certainly don't feel heavy! She may get some of the same feeling once she gets used to the extra activity, and feel lighter/smaller despite not losing any weight. 

One last thing: if she's on Instagram or Facebook there are a number of fat positive groups and people/models, with women who range from my size to over 400lbs, who are into fashion (they call it 'fatshion') and celebrating their bodies just as they are. It might be worth either you or her following some of those groups/models to show her that fat women can look amazing, wear great clothes and be confident in their bodies. Just a thought! :)

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest ssbbwlove

Some bedroom updates: I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but a while back, we were doing typical foreplay stuff when she guided my hand to her belly. I then grabbed it and rubbed it before we had sex. She did it the time after so I took this as a “you can play with my belly during foreplay” and I’ve been doing it ever since. Even better, last night, I think I was being a bit handsier with her fat and when we were having sex she said “fuck this fat pussy like you mean it” and I came almost immediately after that; it was hands down the hottest thing she’s ever said to me during sex.  I’ve always wanted her to be more vocal about her weight during sex (i.e. drawing attention to her belly and other fat areas of her body, talking about how fat she is, etc.), but I’ve been too scared to express that so this was a dream come true. Hopefully it will continue. 

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  • 1 month later...
Guest ssbbwlove

Long time no update so I’ll try to hit the highlights. She quit her job for personal reasons and is currently not working. Now she only really eats, sleeps, and watches TV so there’s no way she isn’t gaining, I think. I think that’s the biggest thing, but I’ll mention some lows and highs:

Lows: I’ve gotten into the habit of trying to sneak my hands under her shirt and touch her belly, but she noticed that, and she asked me to stop so I have for the time being. One night, when I did it, she got upset about it and said she didn’t feel good about herself before going to sleep. Unfortunately, I didn’t know how to respond to that. Just overall, she still sees being fat as a negative; I wish I could break that train of thought. 
 

Highs: She’s eating very well. Just yesterday, she ate a burger, made a whole tray of pigs in a blanket and ate almost the whole tray, snacked on some other things, and that doesn’t even include dinner (she also wanted ice cream, but her stomach got upset so she decided against it). The house is well stocked with snacks. I don’t deny her if she picks up a snack when we go shopping, and I even pointed out some cookies she likes at the store, and she got them. I’ve noticed she’s very easy to influence; she made pigs in a blanket because she saw a video of people making them and started craving them, and there’s been times that I’ve mentioned a food, and she’s wanted it. Might just be my imagination, but she seems bigger, too; her fave seems fuller, her belly feels bigger in my hands, and she just looks bigger to me. She also ripped through a pair of leggings she likes to wear; they’re pretty old so it’s possible that it was wear and tear, but in my head, it’s because she’s gaining weight. 
 

Anyway, excited for Thanksgiving. It’ll be the first time we’ll be having Thanksgiving together so I’m happy to see how much she’ll eat. 

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Guest ssbbwlove

We had a long talk last night about things we wanted to get off our chests. I’ll focus on the fetish related things. It all started with talking about sexual experiences and of course, a lot of mine we’re talking about how younger me got into this fetish. She mentioned me finding her attracted to her was foreign to her as she always hated how big she is, but appreciates that I make her feel wanted. She asked if I’d find her physically attractive if she lost weight, and I was honest and said I wasn’t really sure (she’s the person I’ve been most physically attracted to out of all my relationships and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that she’s also the heaviest). She was very accepting of all this saying it could be worse and that she didn’t mind. She asked what my ideal body type is and I confessed it was her but bigger (I never directly asked her to gain weight, but it’s instances like this that I kinda implied it). I mentioned it’s not uncommon for me to watch 500 lb women in porn and that I sometimes imagine her bigger when I want to get myself going. I told her it turned me on so much when she told me she gained 50 lb since knowing me. She was very accepting of all this and a lot of it didn’t surprise her. She also mentioned she would make an effort to lose weight, but she’s too lazy and if she could think of any reason not to she wouldn’t motivate herself to do it and kinda implied my attraction was an excuse to her. Like I said, she was very accepting and even already suspected a lot of the things I told her. It was good to get it off my chest and I think I’m in a good spot. She doesn’t really have the motivation to lose weight and it sounds like if I can get her to not hate her body, I may be in the clear to convince her to stay fat or maybe even get fatter. I think she might be trying get over her hate for her body because I mentioned I wanted to play with her belly a specific way during sec and she says not now but may in a couple months. Hopefully that means big things are to come. 

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Guest ssbbwlove

Sorry for back to back updates, but I’m so excited. She elaborated tonight that my attraction to her weight will take some getting used to but to give it time and be patient. I think she really is trying to get around her mental block of “fat=bad,” and I’m excited for what’s to come if that’s the case. 

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Guest Robert572

Thank you for sharing! I’m still trying to work up the courage to tell my wife my attraction to larger women myself hopefully I will do it soon! If anyone has some advice for me it would be greatly appreciated!

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest ssbbwlove

Update because I haven’t done one in a while. Not much to report. My wishful thinking has me believe she’s gaining weight, but not completely sure. Her appetite is certainly growing; she will essentially get two meals at certain places and sometimes even have room for dessert. I’ve made it easy for her to binge eat things from time to time (getting her Oreos and a big bag of chips specifically). Unfortunately not much to report on Thanksgiving. She ate a good bit, but didn’t really overeat as I was hoping, but oh well. I think this really proves she can really pig out if she wants to, but is restraining herself to an extent. I still don’t think I’m to the point that I can suggest the gaining question, but I think she’s getting more comfortable around food which is at least a good first step. 

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Guest ssbbwlove

She’s absolutely gorging herself with ice cream lately. I have no idea why; this sudden craving has come out of nowhere, but I’m definitely not stopping or discouraging it. I believe she ate about 1000 calories worth of ice cream alone one night this week and that has me really excited. She’s also let me grab and feel more during foreplay, even letting me jiggle her belly which she has said before has made her feel uncomfortable but she says it’s fine now. And although it’s usually  in a dismissive tone, she will occasionally mention how I wish she was bigger (even if I’ve never directly brought it up, she obviously knows that desire) which at least makes me hope she’s trying to rationalize the idea (she rarely talked about her size before, but I think it’s starting to become a comfortable subject). Unfortunately, outside of sex, she doesn’t like me staring (which has always been a problem of mine, but I don’t know how to stop) as it makes her self conscious about her fat. 

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On 12/14/2019 at 3:04 PM, ssbbwlove said:

She’s absolutely gorging herself with ice cream lately. I have no idea why; this sudden craving has come out of nowhere, but I’m definitely not stopping or discouraging it. I believe she ate about 1000 calories worth of ice cream alone one night this week and that has me really excited. She’s also let me grab and feel more during foreplay, even letting me jiggle her belly which she has said before has made her feel uncomfortable but she says it’s fine now. And although it’s usually  in a dismissive tone, she will occasionally mention how I wish she was bigger (even if I’ve never directly brought it up, she obviously knows that desire) which at least makes me hope she’s trying to rationalize the idea (she rarely talked about her size before, but I think it’s starting to become a comfortable subject). Unfortunately, outside of sex, she doesn’t like me staring (which has always been a problem of mine, but I don’t know how to stop) as it makes her self conscious about her fat. 

You're in a great place, then.  She's still going to have those knee-jerk reactions to certain things for long time, but it's clear that she's solidly beginning to rationalize it in her head.  So much of it is just gradually becoming comfortable with the subject over time.  Girls especially are trained from a young age to treat the topic of weight gain like a big taboo.  But the longer you're with her, the more often that sex involves belly touching, the more compliments she gets (not forced weight-gain-is-good compliments, but little, honest, off-the-cuff compliments) the more this will become the norm... and the pounds will continue to come.  

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