My New Story So Far: Critiques/Feedback Welcome

[Guest FEEDERFATMAN]

Here is a new story I've been working on so far. I was wondering how it reads. Let me know what you think. It's a work-in-progress. It's definitely not done.

 

The Fat Filter

 

Laura was an average girl in many ways. She was always doing something on her iPhone, even in class. Her favorite apps are by far Instagram and Twitter. You could describe her frame as petite, but not sickly skinny. She was a good 5’2 and 125 pounds. Her hair was long and light brown, and her body a nice hourglass with a slight pear tilt. For a 20-year-old, Laura would be considered pretty bland and average, even by her peers.

 

Laura’s two main friends, Lexi and Maddie, were both similar to Laura in that they were all of similar size and shape. Some key differences being that Lexi carries most of her weight in the top part of her body, namely her boobs. And Maddie is an inch shorter than Laura. But the three girls rarely notice these minute differences. They only come up when the girls go clothes shopping at the local mall.

 

Laura, Maddie, and Lexi were out shopping at their local mall, looking for outfits that they could all wear to their friend Matt’s housewarming party. The trio was in Forever 21, trying on skirts, leggings, and crop tops they could wear to the party. Once the three had all bought their clothing, they headed to Lexi’s house in order to get ready.

 

Lexi lived in a large house, on the good side of town. Her parents owned a successful pizzeria downtown. This meant that the girls would always order pizza from there since they got a large discount. Lexi, Maddie and Laura all went straight to Lexi’s bedroom in order to start getting ready for the night. Laura decided on a crop top and leggings. Maddie decided to wear a maxi skirt with a denim jacket. And Lexi was going to wear a dress with leggings underneath.

 

Once the girls were dressed and ready, makeup done and all, they headed toward the driveway. Maddie had called an Uber to take them to the party. They all got into the car and headed to the party. Matt’s new apartment wasn’t too far from Lexi’s house, maybe about 3 miles. But the girls thought it would be safer to take an Uber there. Once they arrived, they were greeted to the party by loud music and a dark entrance.

 

Once the girls were inside, they saw people from their community college. One person Laura quickly noticed was her bio lab partner, Jen. Laura broke off from the trio to go talk to Jen about their upcoming lab. Jen had a beer in her hand. She waved to Laura. Laura and Jen spoke briefly about their class and upcoming lab assignment.

 

Then Jen took Laura aside. Jen brought Laura to the bedroom. She stepped in front of the full-length mirror in the room and pulled out her iPhone. She opened up an app called ‘The Fat Filter’ on her phone. She turned to Laura and asked her candidly, “Laura have you heard of this cool, new app?”

 

Laura looked at Jen’s phone and back at Jen. “No, I haven’t. What does it do?”

 

Jen looked at her phone. She clicked on the large camera icon in the middle of the app. It opened the camera app and she stepped back to get a full-body selfie of herself. She showed the selfie to Laura. “Looks normal, right? Just a normal selfie of me, right? Well watch this.” Jen clicked the ‘next’ icon on the bottom right of the screen and it took her to a screen with a number on a slider set to 150. Jen gestured to Laura to look at her next move. “This is where it gets exciting!” Jen took the slider and set the number to 300. Right below the number scale was a button that simply said ‘set’. Jen showed Laura and she hit that button. Once pressed, the selfie of Jen changed dramatically. The once slender girl in the selfie suddenly looked incredibly obese. Her frame seemed to grow quite large. Her hips and thighs took most of the weight. That isn’t to say that her boobs and butt didn’t look fat and heavy. Her boobs sat comfortably on her large double belly. In the photo her belly looked to hang below her waistline and far enough down to cover her sex completely. Her face in the photo looked much rounder with a prominent double chin. Her hands and fingers even got fatter. The craziest part was that the outfit was exactly the same, with only slight modifications for the size.

 

Jen could tell that Laura was both confused and intrigued. Laura was deeply analyzing the changes by consistently looking at Jen and the fat photo back and forth in quick succession. “What do you think Laura?”

 

Laura stood speechless for a second. “It’s definitely an interesting concept. I was just wondering how it works. Does it morph you automatically, or do you have to set it up to do that?”

 

Jen smiled. “All you have to do is set the weight you want to transform your body into, then press ‘set’. And it’s done. I know; I didn’t believe it at first either. And I only set it to 300. You can set it up to 600 I think.” Jen looked at her fat selfie and hit ‘back’ and the photo. This took her back to the screen where she could set the weight. She pointed to the slider and showed Laura that it went all the way up to 600. So, Jen decided to set it all the way to that. “I’m curious as to what I’d look like at 600 pounds. Let’s see.”

 

When Jen hit the button, the new picture showed a version of Jen who was so large that her whole body didn’t even fit in the photo. Her sides and hips were off-screen in the photo. Her face seemed to get even rounder, with huge cheeks. Her belly seemed to be massive, taking up most of the middle of the photo. Her fat hands and fingers looked like inflated sausages. Her wrist was even fat.

 

Jen noticed Laura deeply studying the fat selfie. That’s when Jen decided to ask Laura, “Why don’t you give it a try Laura? I bet you’ll look great at 600 pounds.” Jen chuckled a little.

 

Laura looked up at Jen and thought for a second. “I guess I could give it a try. But I’d need to download the app first. Let me do that.” So, Laura downloaded the app of the App Store. Once the app was downloaded, Laura opened it. The app was unique in that it didn’t require a sign-up or sign-in of any sort. “So, do I just hit the camera and take a full-body selfie?” Jen nodded. “Okay let’s do it then.”

 

Laura stepped back in order to get her whole body in frame. Once she got the photo, Laura showed it to Jen for approval. Then Laura hit ‘next’ and saw the scale slider. She pushed it all the way to 600 pounds. Then she hit ‘set’. “Here goes nothing Jen.” The image quickly loaded up and it showed a very inflated Laura. In the picture Laura’s belly expanded out and down, making her crop top look really small. Her face was even rounded than Jen’s fat face. Being that Laura was smaller and shorter than Jen to begin with, her fat selfie looked quite larger than Jen’s. For instance, Laura’s arms and hands were bigger than Jen’s in her photo. Also, her thighs and belly seemed to be way more inflated than Jen’s.

 

Jen stopped and looked closer at Laura’s phone. “Hey what’s that button Laura? It wasn’t there before. Does mine have that button?” Jen pulled up her fat picture and noticed the same button had appeared on her screen. It was a button underneath the fat photo that simply said ‘apply’. “That’s new. This ‘apply’ button wasn’t there before on mine. I wonder what it does. Let’s try it.” Jen hit the ‘apply’ button on her phone and when she did, time seemed to freeze completely. Jen lost consciousness for about 10 seconds, but that’s all the time it took in order to apply the fat picture onto her real body. When she finally regained consciousness, she felt quite different. When Jen looked over at Laura, Laura looked horrified. “What’s wrong Laura. You look like you’ve seen a ghost or something.” Laura simply pointed Jen back to the mirror. Jen did her best to turn toward the mirror.

 

When Jen turned, with more effort than before given her size, she gasped. “Oh my God. Did the app actually make me 600 pounds?! No way! I don’t know what to say. This is actually pretty cool. I want to walk around like this.” Jen noticed that her features from the photo matched her current figure. “Wait. I just noticed that I’m wearing the same dress as before, only way bigger now. This red dress looks so different on my 600-pound frame.”

 

Jen turned around as best she could. She waddled toward the door, the floor creaking after each step. Her body jiggled like jello under her red dress. “Where are you going Jen? Shouldn’t we do something about this? You can’t be 600 pounds?”

 

Jen slowly reached the doorway and stopped abruptly. She looked over at Laura really quickly then looked at the doorway again. “I’m Laura, I don’t think I’m gonna fit through here. I think I’m too wide now. Can you help me out?” Jen walked right up to the doorframe and saw that her hips were indeed wider than the clearance. “Laura I could really use your help here. Just give my fat ass a push why don’t you?”

 

Laura observed Jen struggle for a bit. “Try turning sideways Jen. You might be able to get out that way.” Laura walked over to Jen and motioned her large physique sideways, demonstrating to Jen how she should try to get out. “Where are you going anyways Jen? Are you going to go show off your new figure?” Laura chuckled.

 

Jen smiled back at Laura. “Of course. I’m going to go show the others what I look like at 600 pounds. I really hope this transformation is reversible. Can you look that up for me Laura? That would be awesome if it I could just snap of pic of myself like this and shrink it back down to my original weight of 150.”

 

Jen proceeded to turn her fat body sideways in order to clear the doorframe. With a lot of effort, she was able to get out and waddle toward the other people at the party. Laura peeked out the door in order to see what people’s reactions would be to Jen’s new physique. Everyone who saw her looked stunned. It was as if they immediately knew that that was Jen, only incredibly obese.

 

Laura then remembered what Jen had asked her to do. She pulled out her phone and opened Safari. She typed into the search bar, “Fat Filter app…” and saw that all of the suggestions were asking if the ‘apply’ feature was reversible. Laura quickly clicked on the first relevant suggestion and scrolled through the results. She saw that someone in a Subreddit was able to reverse the effects simply by taking a selfie of their fat body and moving the slider down back to their original weight. Laura breathed a sigh of relief. It was then that Laura received a text from Maddie in a group chat for Maddie, Lexi and herself. The text read: “Laura, what happened to Jen? Is that super obese girl out here really her?”

 

Laura decided to respond immediately: “Yeah! I saw her get that fat. She used that new app Fat Filter to do it. Have you heard of it?” Maddie responded, “Yeah I have the app. I heard about it on Twitter. I just didn’t know you could actually become fat from it.” Laura thought about what to reply. But in a bold move, Laura simply invited her two best friends to the bedroom where she was sitting on the bed. “Come to the bedroom. I got something to show you two.”

 

Both Maddie and Lexi rushed over to the bedroom as fast as they could. When they both got to the bedroom, Laura was standing in front of the full-length mirror on the wall. Lexi looked confused. She asked, “Laura what’s going on? Was it really the app that made Jen fat? I have so many questions!”

 

In order to answer Lexi’s questions, Laura simply stood in front of the mirror and snapped a selfie. She showed it to her two friends. Then she proceeded to the next screen where she set the weight to 600 pounds. She hit ‘set’ and immediately the photo changed to a 600-pound version of Laura. “Okay Laura, I’ve heard of this app. I’m familiar with how it works.” Lexi stated. Then Laura hit ‘apply’. And Laura lost her consciousness for about 5-10 seconds. She regained it, only to feel a weird feeling everywhere on her body. She turned slightly to see Maddie and Lexi both shocked at what they saw.

 

Laura looked at her reflection in the mirror and indeed saw that her new figure matched that of the picture she had just saw in the app. She locked her eyes on her enormous belly, which hung down past her fat knees. Laura noticed that she couldn’t physically reach the bottom of her large belly. She noticed that her two friends were still silent. “How do I look?” Laura joked in order to break the ice.

 

 Maddie and Lexi looked at each other for a second, then back at Laura. “Um…you look really big I guess Laura. You got a nice ass if it means anything.” Maddie said with some hesitation.

 

“I don’t understand why you set it all the way to 600 Laura. You could’ve just set it to like 200. It would’ve gotten the point across just the same.” Lexi said, looking at Laura up and down. Lexi kept examining Laura’s fat features. She seemed interested in how all the weight seemed to distribute on her body. “I can’t believe that crop top grew with you, same with those leggings. I’ll be totally honest though; your leggings are almost completely see-through though. You can see your huge ass and underwear through them.”

 

Laura tried looking over her shoulder to see whether Lexi was telling the truth or not. This task proved to be really difficult, consider how fat her shoulders and face were. Laura had a large double-belly, and it was definitely emphasized with her white crop-top. After examining herself in the mirror some more, Laura decided to walk (waddle) to the door. She realized the full scope of her size when lifting up her legs for each step. Walking seemed to be quite the challenge at 600 pounds. Laura knew she wasn’t going to fit through the doorframe, so she turned her body sideways when she reached the door. Even sideways Laura wasn’t able to fit well through the doorframe. So, she wiggled and jiggled her body, trying to the sweat she was perspiring as lubricant. With a helpful few pushes from her friends, Laura finally made it out and into the hallway. “Fuck that was harder than I thought it’d be! I really need to lose a few.” Laura giggled as she patted her large belly.

 

Laura waddled down the hall and toward the kitchen where most of the partygoers were. She realized that Maddie had her phone, so Laura looked for her. “Where the hell did Maddie go? I need my phone in order to text Jen.” Maddie thought to herself. Laura noticed that she was sweating up a storm from just walking down the hall. As Laura approached the kitchen, she began getting a lot of stares.  

 

One guy, Jeff, walked up to Laura and ask her, “Hey you look familiar. But I have to ask, who do you know here?” Laura gasped. She had known Jeff for a few years now. They had been in a few of the same classes at their community college. Laura just stared at him for about 15 seconds before telling him that it was her. “Oh shit! That’s you Laura?! What happened?! How did you get so massive? I’m so confused…” Laura laughed and patted Jeff on the shoulder.

 

Laura saw just how fat her arm and hand were when she patted Jeff’s shoulder. “It’s okay Jeff. I just used that ‘Fat Filter’ app on my phone. But right now, I’m looking for Jen and/or Maddie. Have you seen either of them?” Laura caught Jeff looking at her huge boobs. She giggled. “My eyes are up here Jeff.”

 

“I saw Jen go into the back yard with Matt. I haven’t seen Maddie. I can text Maddie, see where she’s at.” Jeff pulled out his iPhone. He texted Maddie, asking her if she could meet him and Laura in the kitchen.

 

[John Smith]

I'm roused.