Controlling myself

[Number21]

For what it's worth, the only one who can have your best interests at heart is you. If you feel you are slipping back into a disorder, especially at a fragile time in your life, it would be best to assess what is fantasy, what is reality, and where your limit is on the two. I would recommend taking a step back from the fetish, as much as we all love having you gain, maybe some time of self reflection and ultimately professional council isn't the worst way to go in order to put your mental and physical well being first. Again, it's just my two cents, and you are the best judge of what course of action you want to take. One thing that is for certain is that the members of this site love having you around in any capacity, and most would support any decision you make for your own best interests. I hope this helps!