Controlling myself

[tw71]

I'm certainly no expert, but I do think (as someone already pointed out) the MAIN issue here is the "lack of control" part.  I think people always like feeling like they're in control of their decisions, no matter what they are. When you realize you can't stop doing something, EVEN if you want to stop -- that's the scary/addiction component that you need to address.

Personally, as much as the weight-gain/feeding stuff is a turn-on to me seeing a female partner involved in it? I *also* think it's reasonable to set goals and to be able to say, "Cool.... I reached this specific weight I was shooting for. And I have a pretty good idea how much I can eat/need to eat to maintain it without gaining a lot more. I'm gonna do that to stay in this zone of my success and be happy with it!"

I mean, I can't speak for everybody, but in my experiences at least? Almost everyone I've encountered tends to gain weight until they "plateau" at various points. Then, it takes some intentional effort to change eating habits in some way to go past that and continue gaining more. So, I think the healthiest/happiest way to go about this stuff is to #1, decide roughly how big you want to be, and then #2, to not fight it and be content when the gain seems to slow down and stop, someplace around that goal. There are definitely some people in this "community" who just want to gain "as much as I can!" and are only concerned with eating as much as possible, at every opportunity. THAT is not going to be a recipe for having a happy life, though, because you're ignoring your own body's signals. Your body's going to do all kinds of things like give you bad cases of heartburn, or give you new aches and pains, or ?? Signs that say, "Hey... you've gone beyond where things are comfortable. Slow down and get used to size X here a while instead of rushing to reach size Y."

I'd say you probably want to work on such things as "spite eating" every time a family member complains about your weight.  You have to stop and think if that's really the best response for those feelings. Will it gets you closer to being happy about your life?  If not, then it's not the best solution.

But yeah, definitely -- as long as you're happy in your own skin and people can see that natural confidence? You'll always be able to meet guys who find you attractive and would like to date you. That's the real key to all of this stuff, more than the B.S. you hear out in the general public that "people only find you attractive if you're thin" or whatever.