I wish I didn't have this fetish [trigger warning]

[Joliat]

I think the analogy with homosexuality is somewhat fair. Not that FAs face the kind of horrific persecution LGBTQ people have (which extends to being burned alive), but rather in the sense that our preference is marginalized. In fact, it is one of the most marginalized sexual preferences around, much more than homosexuality is at this point. You hardly ever see FAs represented anywhere, outside of black culture where it is permissible, probably for complex cultural and racially-inflected reasons. I grew up as a somewhat shy kid in the pre-internet era. Believe me, I never saw anything indicating that FAdom was even a thing. Nor, to my intense frustration, dud yiu ever see BBWs in films or TV. I had to gradually discover that the girls I was drawn to differed from those if other guys; that these girls were fat; and that this preference, if publicly expressed, marked me as weird or deviant. (My first GF, who was BBW, dismissed my preference as 'weird' when I confessed it, a humiliating response that made a big impact on my vulnerable psyche).

So yeah, I struggled with it somewhat.. My main psychological move was to basically deceive myself that 'I like them big, but not that big.' I would internally veto any attraction to girls above a certain size. It took me years to accept that maybe my ceiling was much higher than I first thought, encompassing not just 'plump' gals but outright obese ones. It also took me years to understand how much of a turn on weight gain and overeating are to me. 

So I can relate to the OP's pain to a degree. That said, my solution was simple. I never publicly announced my preference. I just dated BBWs and eventually married one and that was that. If people want to make snide remarks behind my back, that's their problem. No one has ever said anything to my face except my parents a couple of times in 'concern troll' mode about my then-fiance's 'health.' I told them I never wanted to hear another word from them on that subject, and haven't heard any since.

It can be hard to be outside the norm. But that's no reason to deny ourselves the partners we're meant to be with.