I wish I didn't have this fetish [trigger warning]

[tw71]

Just another random thought to interject, but could it be the reason you're into obese women online isn't even because it's an actual body type preference for women you want to date regularly/go out with?

I can easily see how it could be a sexual turn-on to look at, but for you, primarily stimulating because it's sort of a taboo? EG. The idea of a woman being that gluttonous or that large compared to the average person is a turn-on in and of itself, yet it's not who you'd want to select as a partner.

I think there's definitely such a thing as dividing up your fetish interests you'd like to engage with with a partner in real life, vs. your fantasy fetish interests that sit outside your own comfort zone. I've discovered that I dabble in that myself with some of the "giantess" fantasy material out there. There are some of those fantasy stories and photoshopped videos/images of a woman growing to be 50 feet tall and stomping around a city crushing cars under her feet and all that. Clearly not even possible in the real world, but even if she did exist? I know in reality, I'd be more afraid of someone like that than turned on by her. Yet, it's kind of arousing in the safety of knowing it's just fantasy material to look at or read.