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Relationship...yay or nay?


greenbaycd

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Sadly, this PTSD is why people can be insecure, but it's sad when they are 10+ years past school and still juvenile or self-hating.

It's a treasure that your ladyfriend stabilizes any of your vulnerabilities that these assholes create. I know I have to fake courage/financial endurance until I make it, but I do value the breathing room too. It does surprise me how lucky you are given I had to perfect myself as a late bloomer before attracting anyone for the short term by stealing hearts and you earned valuable feelings.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Update 5/26/19

all is going well as usual. was so proud of my gf who got accepted into varsity soccer for next year. all sports and other activities have ended for this year due to final exams taking up most of the time. from what i understand, she'll play in a state tournament sometime. i've always been there showing my support and chanting her on at all her games. so i'm so happy to see all the progress she's made leading up to this exciting moment in her life. gonna admit i was a bit of a perv watching her in the stadiums. they make everyone on the team wear these soccer shorts and the ones they gave my girlfriend were a bit ill fitting. they were a wee bit tight and you could see the panty line through them if you looked hard enough. also a good amount of her thighs were shown, in all there voluptuous glory. thats honestly the most exposed i've ever seen her body (as of yet...) otherwise she dresses very modestly, never wearing shorts or tank tops or anything. i haven't even seen her wear a bikini. only other time I saw a bit of skin was this time we were facetiming and she had just gotten out of the shower so she had a towel covering her chest but her shoulders were exposed. do any of you guys know a roundabout way i could get her to relax a bit and dress more "casually"?

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lol gotta walk real casual and slow doing this or homer buying illegal fireworks. Just hope she's worth it since being a prude sucks and only makes you wonder what other women are showing off.  Summer I notice just so much less to show.  But seriously, I'd say work her down in baby steps.

 

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update 5/30

hey guys. i got invited to a pool party yesterday, and it will be this weekend. i thought this would be a perfect opportunity for me to see my gf in more "revealing" attire. i had proposed that we go earlier today, but she declined. she was clearly nervous in her tone of voice. i asked her why she was worried about going, and she became very vulnerable to me, probably the 1st time i've ever seen her this way. she talked about how she was self-conscious about her body and how she was relentlessly made fun of for her weight in elementry school. she said that in 7th grade, she got taller, which also meant she got slimmer (weight spread out over height), which boosted her confidence enough to start going to the beach with friends and such. but then in 8th grade, since her eating habits stayed the same, she put on the weight again (which wasn't even all that fat, just mildly chubby). when she overheard someone call her "doughy" and say she had "big ass hamhocks", that sent her into PTSD mode, and made her self conscious again like before 7th grade. it wasn't even someone trying to be mean that said those things. it was a boyfriend of one of her friends that was just making an observation. he had no idea it hurt her that much (and still doesn't). All this broke my heart. She really is a very pretty girl and has absolutely nothing to be insecure about. although some guys complain about her weight, all of them admit that she has a nice face. that's mainly because her face is slimmer and doesn't match the rest of her body. she already looks stunningly gorgeous in clothes, which fit snugly over her hips and curves, so i can only imagine how she looks underneath. btw i need to specify that this is not being just some horny guy that wants to see a girl nude. this is about helping her overcome a insecurity which is really effecting her self image. it truly makes me heartbroken to see someone i love so much open up to me abut something so upsetting and traumatic. any ideas for how i can help her cope, or help her get out of her shell?

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Yes just let her work this out on her own..  She will see how good of a guy you are of you stick by her daily and give her compliments and help her work through this situation. She will eventually become more open with time and see how much you care that weight isnt a problem in your relationship you love her for her 

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so some people were having a hard time visualizing what body type she has. some think it's bigger or smaller than it actually is, so here's some pics (had to crop out her face of course):

as you can see she's not too fat or too skinny, she's kind of skinny-chubby. almost like a skinny girl who has just recently started putting on weight. she's more bottom heavy, rather than top heavy. more weight is distributed to the arms, waist, thighs, and backside region than the chest and face. obviosly can't see in the pics but face is slimmer than rest of body (as i've stated before)

ct 5.png

ct 4.png

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ct 1.png

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13 hours ago, greenbaycd said:

thank you. wish I could tell her that she has a forum full of guys complimenting her body, but that would def lead to some problems... lmao

Yeah, don't do that. 

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6/3 update

all is going well as usual. been complimenting her each and every day and so far its been working like a charm. she blushes and giggles anytime i say something like, "ooh looking (especialy) good today" or "that *insert article of clothing here* goes great with your eyes" and other flirty stuff like that. i really wanna make her feel like a goddess. i quite literally fed her grapes in a playful way as she layed horizontally on the couch yesterday. although we're not at the kissing stage yet, we do this weird little thing where we nudge each others noses. don't know if that's a common thing or not, but that's what we like to do as a substitute for kissing anyway. also went to a local concert so that was pretty fun. even though we didn't have a clue how to dance, we didn't let that stop us. we should have been embarrassed but were having too much fun to care.

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14 hours ago, greenbaycd said:

and so far its been working like a charm. she blushes and giggles anytime i say something

I find this fun at long range or behind a camera. More fun, renewed spirit.

14 hours ago, greenbaycd said:

i quite literally fed her grapes in a playful way as she layed horizontally on the couch yesterday. although we're not at the kissing stage yet, we do this weird little thing where we nudge each others noses. don't know if that's a common thing or not, but that's what we like to do as a substitute for kissing anyway. 

You're exploring a wonderful and subtle sense of intimacy that can safely be done in public. It's a lotta fun to see what works best and what skillsets become available based on location rather than struggle to lure to bedroom until the one time it works when you're comically unprepared.

Not funny 😂 and if she changes when you fumble while being hyped up for this event that has a high cancel rate, you're done and wasted your time. To quote someone on the gift card market, I'd rather buy 10 $30 cards than 1 $300 card they may get a chargeback or use up in. It translates well to this scene, and if you're both happy, it's something special. I like soul-searching a lot and seeing what is tried too.

 

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update 6/6

unfortunately i've barely had anytime to talk/see my gf due to me having to fill in for a sick co-worker. they came back yesterday so that freed up some of my time so i could go over to her house and chill. we watched some show she likes on tv (idk what the name was, i wasn't really invested tbh but had fun making commentary on it with her...think something like mst3k lol). she ended up falling asleep with her head rested against my shoulder, but i was still wide awake and couldn't move because i didn't want to wake her. but being really crafty, i slipped from under her and gently put her head on a pillow to take my place, and then tip-toed out the door and down the street to my house (we live in the same neighborhood and our houses arent that far apart). but best news was last night, i did sort of talk her in to maybe going to the beach or community pool some time. so now that her confidence has been boosted a bit from my over-complimenting, she says i could possibly go shopping with her for a bikini/summer clothes some time. think we're heading in the right direction, boys!

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Yo I love your updates and all man but let's make that move already lol..  you are moving slower then an 7th grader who doesn't know a tit from a twat... You got this bud it seems like she runs this ship and you are just a cabin boy... Be the man here and tell her we going to speed this up a bit girls love guys who take control just not to much but... just enough 

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despite popular belief, i do know a tit from a twat. but what do you mean by move? like kissing, having sex, or what? as for kissing, we're definitely getting closer to that. i'd almost bet our 1st would be at the end of week. if you mean sex, i don't think we're comfortable enough to get into that stage yet. i would normally agree i should be a man and take control, but in this situation, i'm dealing with a person who's more sensitive and body-conscious so i don't wanna make a move when she's still struggling to over come. but i'm happy to say, she's definitely getting more confident. she even said she was willing to become more vulnerable and try on revealing clothes in front of me, which she never would have proposed at the beginning of our relation ship. i know she'll be covering up some parts and thats kinda lame for most people, but wearing a bikini/bra & underwear for her is equal to being in the nude for someone else. but bottom line is we're moving in the right direction, slow or not.

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No... what I meant was she just seems like she is toying with you a bit too see if she can control this relationship man... I dont understand if her previous relationship was this bad that she has self confidence issues or if she just doesn't think she is cute.. but either way I'm lost at how you haven't seen her without her shirt yet lol I mean it's your gf lol.. 

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she hasn't had a previous relationship due to her problem. only other guy she tried to ask out was freshman year and he rejected her (idk if it was because of how she looked or not). we're each other's 1st (late, i know, but we still got one more school year left). it's a problem that's crippled her from going out, being more revealing. she says she never goes to the beach/pool anymore after 8th grade because too many kids were teasing her and every time she had to change out for gym, she just went to the bathroom. there are no pictures of her in revealing clothes either (that show stomach, cleavage, backside, etc.), and if there are then she refuses to show anyone. but since i'm the only one who saw more than "the chubby girl", her confidence is being boosted more and now she's agreeing to do things she hasn't been able to do for a long time now. but like thanks for your advice anyway, i know it's a bit confusing from an outsider perspective. like i've said in other posts, it's very complicated. but things are looking up.

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I'm so confused at this lol...So your saying that she hasn't a bf before you with what you describe her as I thought she had one or many b4 lmao... wow ok this is all coming full circle now. I get why she is moving slow now. If you want any advice at all my friend I say make the move quick so she doesn't leave. She from what you describe her as sounds like she needs you to take the helm of the wheel. You 2 sound like a cute couple but in reality if you read what you post out loud lol sounds like virgins not knowing what to do with this fetish lol hahaha my dude just tell her what you like and what you expect.. keeping secrets in any relationship is horrible if you put yourself out there now she will understand get in front of this before you guys get to emotionally involved ya know what I'm saying 

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Sorry for confusion, basically here's the timeline (as I understand it from what she's told me): she was overweight as child and was constantly heckled by some family and kids at school. this really messed her up and gave her a distorted perception of her body. when 7th grade came around, she had a growth spurt and got taller, which made her look slimmer even though she was the same weight. this made her feel more comfortable and actually went to the pool parties her friends invited her to. but because her eating habits stayed the same, near the end of 8th grade, she gained some of the weight back and overheard the heckling again. this sent her into PSTD mode and she became more reserved. it also didn't help that the guy she flirted with in 9th grade outright rejected her. 3 years later, she's a junior in high school, and still getting picked on. this has really ruined her life, but then I came around and started treating her like an absolute goddess, so she's slowly but surely coming out of her shell and willing to go back to her 7th/8th grade self. I plan on letting her know I don't mind a lil' more cushion, but probably won't go to the full extent (stuffing, feeding, inflation, belly play) until we're a few months more into our relationship.

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Thank you for clarifying this I was so lost lol... ok so she was bullied ahh voy..  So I get you dont want to rush into anything now but just know if you could explain it like you did here you can explain it like that to her.  You seem like cool people just dont wait too long because she might catch on eventually and this could be something epic lol feel me 

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Ay, thanks for your advice man, appreicate it. btw, one more thing I should add. I know I paint her as this person that's constantly picked on and bullied, but she actually has a really decent amount of friends and not an outcast by any means. It's just some guys being pricks who are losers anyway but she takes them super seriously because of past events. A lot of the remarks about her body/weight come from people that don't even mean any harm. Once, she heard one girl friend to another: "Hey, has C put on weight?" "Yeah, I think so. Her hips look a little rounder". so yeah, hope that also clears some things up.

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6/12

we finally did it boys. yesterday we had our 1st kiss, and it was fucking epic. not even going to bother to try to describe it, since i can't even put it into words how amazing it felt. also in other good news, she's on the road to recovery from her low-self esteem, and started progressing by inviting me to her place and doing some bikini modeling in front of me. just as i imagined, the sight was simply breath-taking. seeing her full, curvaceous figure semi-undressed with a small piece of fabric hugging her love handles and stretching across her thick thighs and rounded bottom. my mind took a mental snapshot, full of every detail big and small, that will last untill the day i die. obviously, i didn't take a real picture, but heres a vivid description of what i saw that will hopefully paint an equally satisfying image in your head:

floral bikini with shades of turqoise and magenta, complimenting her bright perky hazel eyes

gorgeous mesmerizing smile as always, seeing a whole row of shiny top teeth, slight overbite over the bottom teeth, which gives her a cuter/quirkier look

long wavy dark brown hair draping over her shoulders, and slightly blowing by the electric fan in the corner of the room

thick shoulders and arms showing giving an ever-so-slight jiggle as she moves them

massive love handles that stick out about 2-3 inches from her upper waist

stomach not fat, but not skinny either, sorta skinny-fat, like a skinny girl who just started gaining a little bit of pudge. vertical belly button and toned mid section, sort of flat looking from a side profile. odd, but also kinda cute, line going from the bottom of her belly button to her pelvic region (almost like a happy trail or that line pregnant women have, but it isn't either)

thick thighs with no thigh gap to be found. nice and supple looking, slight jiggle as she walks. rounded ass sticking out about 2-3 inches from her back from a side profile. from back view, ass crack playfully peeking above the panty-line. she has that thing where the thighs and butt cheeks squeeze together, almost making like a horizontal line straight across.

i have pics below as examples of what i'm talking about

Image result for chubby girls with love handles

as you can see, stomach is flat from side profile, but love handles bulge out, causing a crease in the back

Image result for linea nigra not pregnant

line looks like that (minus the stretch marks)

Related image

backside looks like that, but with no cellulite or dimples

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Intimate pictures are a wonderful form of sharing something private, glad she lets you take them; I really love being able to do that when possible, or even a simple screenshot.  Enjoy them as a personal treasure, regardless of if things sour or stay good, both of which can be temporary feelings based on how she adjusts.

See what works, do remember the sensations I could give through a type of massage therapy to vibrate fingers, or just see what pulls work.  Some realism though I see you are optimal about kissing; K/Aileen in MIB series were the best, because having a valuable relationship means having unique conversations and signals to attract (such as exchanging scar stories), to even turn your biggest weaknesses into attraction.

 

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