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Relationship...yay or nay?


greenbaycd

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Ok, so here's context...I'm currently a high school student and I also happen to have an attraction towards chubbier/thicker girls (hence why I'm on this forum), I've known this girl for quite a bit now (we first met during our freshman year), and ever since then, we've become very good friends. Now here's where I'm struggling to make the decision. She likes me more than a friend (although she hasn't explicitly stated, she shows a lot of the signs and behaviors), and I really do like her back and would love to be in a relationship with her, but I'm currently deciding to just be friends with her. The reason I'm hesitant to start a relationship is I'm afraid of accidentally revealing my "fetish" and how she might react. She could either think I'm a weirdo and leave me, or she could feel like I'm calling her fat because I'm only attracted to heavier girls. I am also afraid that I might not be able to control my urges. I might get a little carried away and start pushing her to gain weight, which would make her feel uncomfortable.

The fact that she's drop dead gorgeous isn't making things easier. Every time I see her, I feel chained up. I desperately want to ask her out and take things to a different level, but I have to restrain myself with all my might from doing so. For privacy reasons, I can't attach a photo of her, but here's my best at trying to describe what she looks like:

Overall, she kind of looks a bit like a young Jennifer Connelly with some minor differences here and there: XBqrGH5.jpg

she's got thick eyebrows, long dark brown hair (although a bit wavier and not as straight), similar nose shape, similar eye shape, but hazel eyes instead of blue

she also has a slight overbite (which is another weird kink I have), which makes her lips appear more fuller: Image result for liza actress gotham

as for body type, she's not at all fat, or even that chubby, but she's kind of on the border between being average and chubby. a few pounds more and then she'd be in the chubby category. she has a very curvy shape (similar to imogeneize when she started gaining weight), love handles sticking out, thick thighs, round bottom, and not be lewd, but she's kind of flat chested (which is by no means a bad thing, it draws more attention to the hips and buttocks area, which are parts I love the most), I was never really a breast guy anyway. She also has some thicker arms, which is another weird sort of kink I have. I guess it's just that it makes her look "cuddlier" so to speak and better at giving hugs/embracing. She also has that thing where the face is thinner and the body has more weight. I've overheard other guys describe her as, "she has a pretty face but she's a bit too big. Nice ass though."

The picture all the way on the left is a good example of what her body type sort of looks like:

Image result for imogeneize

btw, I'm sorry if I sound too materialistic. Of course her appearance isn't what matters the most to me. She has a great sense of humor, very smart (she's honestly the only reason I'm passing chemistry), and very kind and compassionate towards me and every one around her. I don't think she has one enemy. At worst, some people just don't know her or have an opinion about her. She's also very talented and athletic. She plays soccer and she also paints and draws portraits (because those two things definitely go together)

So someone on here please tell me what I should do in this situation. It's been keeping up at night. Especially since we'll be graduating soon and we'll most likely not see each other again in person when we go off to college, so time is running out if I'm really going to do this. Thanks to anyone patient enough to give me some feedback

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Well one thing is this forum isnt for underaged women lol but to help you out dont tell her about your fetish just because you like chubby girls dont push that on her control yourself man lol... Just let nature take its course and if you really like each other the way you say then it will happen... I wouldn't come straight out the gate and be like I need you fat your too skinny lol..  Just be cool and just have fun there is this thing called relationship weight if she feels comfortable she will add some poundage... For now just keep it casual and tell her how you feel 

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You'll live the rest of your life thinking of what could have been... that's not cool. Don't do that to yourself. Go out with her. If it comes up, let her know you appreciate thick chicks (but always that she's the best/ most awesome). And every time she eats a lot, make her feel good. The weight should come. If it fails, at least you know you tried. 

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Addressing first 2 comments, yeah I get technically 17 is underage but I don't feel that I've put anything too inappropriate on here to constitute child pornography or anything like that. @John Smith I'm afraid I don't know what you mean. You're asking me why her appearance has similarities to Jennifer Connelly? I think her parents would be more suited to answer that question than me.

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Women tend to force your hand to chase subtly and responsibly. She probably won't notice if you show and not tell by ordering a bit extra, having snacks in the house (glad we have healthier high caloric options like simply Doritos/Cheetos etc. these days) or saying you are glad she is happier with comfort food.

Be practical rather than push the weight gain fetish that sells here, which is slow, expensive and could backfire in a myriad of ways. I do admit it's a good laugh to catch a woman counting calories and recount your budget in response. She'll drop that bs habit in no time.

Regarding whatever you want to do with her, it depends on how intimate she wants you to be ie where she lets you put your hands are a good litmus test. See what works and have fun.

Worst thing some do is need to spell out they're in a relationship too. Some girls I made out with considered me just friends the next day, so try to have fun rather than waste energy (and especially money which should be budgeted) being top dog. I'm fine with it's complicated.

I also wouldn't get too invested in messaging neither if she doesn't respond. Wish I knew that a bit earlier.

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Subtly/indirectly getting her to gain weight to satisfy my fetish is what I'm worried about though. I don't know why but it would just make me feel really manipulative, forcing her to change without her even knowing it. I know I wouldn't be happy if I found out I was being conditioned by my partner to please themselves.

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11 minutes ago, greenbaycd said:

Subtly/indirectly getting her to gain weight to satisfy my fetish is what I'm worried about though. I don't know why but it would just make me feel really manipulative, forcing her to change without her even knowing it.

Having a few extra snacks in the house and her eating them is totally on her lol. Don't be Hal and resort to lying.

I am talking about the persuading and subtle encouragement. It's a thin line to easily be walked. Like every Friday, would you like to go to this restaurant or have this ordered? Here have another. Stop when she says no obviously. I always recommend safe words too.

Celebrate an exploration of new curves and never take it to what she would feel is a scale busting level by feeling too fat (which may happen even if you don't encourage her to have comfort food).

See how her emotions before/after eating given hangry is a normal emotional fluctuation some women have. I don't know how they can feel thinner after eating even with a food baby, yet a lardass before hand.

I've been thanked for helping a woman out on her fattest days. Can always encourage her to bulk up on exercises too. Then the fat camouflages the muscle and she has more strength/energy.

It is up to each of us to find that healthy balance between encouraging her and respecting her own desires. Some just complain and won't walk/do yoga and I avoid those as they're a catch-22 burden.

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You need to ask yourself one question. Will I regret it if I never go for it? If you even think you might regret it, ask her out right now. A pretty, intelligent, and nice girl is a very rare thing to find. Even rarer if they're into you (at least in my experience). Take a leap and see where the relationship goes or think back on what you didn't do for the rest of your life. Even is she says no you at least gave it a try even though it was never meant to be. If she says yes then Woo-Hoo!

As for you trying to make her gain weight. Do. Not. Do. That. I'm saying that because you will regret it as your last post is telling me. Control yourself, dude. You can do it. And when that time comes in a few months when you're thinking of telling her, don't do it then either. You can leave little clues that a woman will pick up on like let your eyes dart to that thikk girl walking past the table. Things like that. She'll bring it up eventually and then don't tell her about your fetish at first. Just let her know that you like your women soft and padded. Leaving snacks out in the house/apartment never hurts as long as you take some too when she's around.

I've been a chubby chaser my whole life and though I've had some fat girlfriends, I've also had thin ones. The only girl/woman I've ever told about my fetish is my wife. She's so very not into this but she likes to eat so at least I've got my chubby girl. Getting up there in age but I'm happy. Besides the thing that matters most in life is the relationship. Looks will fade and all you'll be left with is the person. Besides, as time goes by she'll gain anyway. Metabolisms start slowing down in the early-mid twenties. That's when you tell her she doesn't need to loose any weight and you'll have both the person and the body.

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4 hours ago, Chevalier said:

Having a few extra snacks in the house and her eating them is totally on her lol. Don't be Hal and resort to lying.

I am talking about the persuading and subtle encouragement. It's a thin line to easily be walked. Like every Friday, would you like to go to this restaurant or have this ordered? Here have another. Stop when she says no obviously. I always recommend safe words too.

Celebrate an exploration of new curves and never take it to what she would feel is a scale busting level by feeling too fat (which may happen even if you don't encourage her to have comfort food).

See how her emotions before/after eating given hangry is a normal emotional fluctuation some women have. I don't know how they can feel thinner after eating even with a food baby, yet a lardass before hand.

I've been thanked for helping a woman out on her fattest days. Can always encourage her to bulk up on exercises too. Then the fat camouflages the muscle and she has more strength/energy.

It is up to each of us to find that healthy balance between encouraging her and respecting her own desires. Some just complain and won't walk/do yoga and I avoid those as they're a catch-22 burden.

Yes... do this lmao 

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You're being very altruistic about this. I wouldn't lie, but there's nothing wrong with making your woman feel good, even if the outcome benefits both of you.

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On 4/20/2019 at 5:54 AM, greenbaycd said:

Addressing first 2 comments, yeah I get technically 17 is underage but I don't feel that I've put anything too inappropriate on here to constitute child pornography or anything like that. @John Smith I'm afraid I don't know what you mean. You're asking me why her appearance has similarities to Jennifer Connelly? I think her parents would be more suited to answer that question than me.

Just be careful. Y--you didn't get the complimentary joke, but that's okay. 😶

Just do it. Woo her. And see what's cpming next.

 

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Thanks for all the feedback guys. I'll let you guys know how it goes when I agree to start dating, and then update you again how it's working out regarding the fetish (whether she knows or not). @John Smith Don't worry, I will be. And haha it's funny you just mentioned that your previous comment was a joke. I had re-read it before and then thought of it as such.

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btw, just to clarify, I'm not expecting her to become extremely overweight or at any weight that would put her life in danger. I was expecting something like a change from the pic on the left (which is about the size she is now, just a tad slimmer) to the pic in the middle (not too fat but definitely chubbier and more noticeable):

Image result for imogeneize

The main reason I'm concerned is that I'm afraid she would regret gaining the weight (whether she caught on to my subtle persuasions or not). She's already self conscious at her current weight. she dresses very modestly and I've never seen her in anything remotely revealing (no dresses, short shorts (except when she plays soccer), swimsuits, etc.). Only skin on her body that I've seen is her arms when she wears T-shirts. She's overheard people (particularly guys) talk about how she has a pretty slim face but her body type doesn't match her face at all. I've overheard people talk about her in the cafeteria too and I always find myself having to resist the urge to punch them for the things they say. I've heard things like: "She'd be so cute if she could just put the fork down" and "nice ass and thighs, but too flat chested"...so I'd hate for her to be humiliated even more just for me. The other thing is that a lot of the complaints people have about her are the things I love about her the most. I think her face and her body match her perfectly. It's rare to come by a person like that. And it's true that she isn't as busty as most other girls...but as I stated before, that's ideal for me. It brings more focus to the curves of her hips, and the thick thighs and round backside. It draws more attention to those areas that I love. But if I told her all this, I'm afraid she'd take it the wrong way. But who knows...I'll start off the relationship not saying anything and then I'll naturally let it progress from there. Wish me luck, guys.

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Alright, just thought I'd update you guys (and I'll most likely keep doing updates on here), but I did finally ask her out yesterday and she was simply extatic at the proposal. she talked about how she had waited for this moment and how happy she was and so on. I also expressed my excitement back to her, saying I was really looking forward to starting this new chapter in our lives. as of right now, I'll just go with the flow all casual and normal like, and hopefully our bond and trust will grow strong enough that I can sort of "come out" to her about my "interests". But it won't be all at once though, I'll ease it up when I first start to bring it up. But until that bridge is there for me to cross, I'm going to take my own sweet time and let things progress naturally, so this way I don't come off as being too pushy. I might even post some photos on here along the way (Nothing graphic of course), to show any progresses that might be made. Thanks for all your advice, guys. Only one day in, but so far not regretting my decision.

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5 hours ago, greenbaycd said:

Thanks for all your advice, guys. Only one day in, but so far not regretting my decision.

To quote a video game baseball announcer, you can't hit a homerun without swinging the bat.  Congrats, you really have nothing to lose once you stop fearing being rejected, and nothing is off-base for a rejection (weight, skin color, voice, especially salary, and one-man clingers).

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Update:

So a week in and everything's going good. We're starting things off very slow. We're not really comfortable enough at this point to start being more intimate (kissing, fondling certain areas, etc.), however we do hug and embrace each other often, and just as I suspected, her arms, which are rather thicker and chubbier than most other girls' arms, are perfect for cuddling, as if that's their one and only purpose. Only problem is a lot of my friends making fun of us (in good fun for the most part). They point out how she's the bigger one between the two of us, and how it should be the other way around. However, a couple of my friends who do have similar preferences as me tell me about how lucky I am and how jealous they are and such. It really feels good to hear both sides. Even when they joke about how my girlfriend is a tad bit heavier than me, I secretly get really turned on by that. We're also each other's first and have had no previous experiences with being in a relationship, so that just adds another layer of excitement. Will keep updating this as time goes on

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Sure it's great to explore and see what forms of intimacy work for you both as well. So much to discover and unlearn.

I'm learning myself that asking the same question at different times (ie hours or days later) can lead to different responses. Also helps to see what topics and collaborative skillsets you have with this person to transform into the best version of yourself, especially with branching conversations or new things to stimulate/normalize your mind to keep yourself young.

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Update 5/9/19

Things keep getting better. Between now and the last update, I don't think I can name one free moment that's gone by without seeing each other, wether in person or over FaceTime. Just recently, we went to go see the new Avengers movie and had a grand old time. We weren't too fond of it tbh but that didn't matter. Then we went out to eat at Denny within the same shopping center. I do feel kind of embarrassed though. She's the one that drives between the two of us (mainly because of medical reasons which I don't wanna go into detail about). But people don't know our situation so anytime someone drives next to us, I slip down the passengers seat to avoid being seen. But I do know how to change a flat should we ever need to so thats something i guess...

I'll be real honest. Our roles are kind of switched in our relationship. Typically, the guy is supposed to be the stronger and more athletic one that acts as a protector, but she actually stands more of a chance in a fight than me. Thats partially because she plays a lot of sports and works out (but not too much so she doesn't lose her hourglass-like figure). Speaking of sports, she got accepted into this state soccer tournament, so I'm very proud of her for that. But despite all my shortcomings, she still sees something in me. She says I make her laugh, I can hold a conversation without being boring, I'm compassionate and sensitive, and I can be a good listener. I am also happy to say that I can honestly say the same things about her. Like I said before, she's a big girl that can pull her own weight and be independent. She doesn't look up to me, but eye level instead, as do I. 

As far as appearance/weight gain is concerned, she hasn't really gained any, or if she has it's probably muscle since I haven't noticed anything. She's still drop dead gorgeous as I stated before in my first post. Her long wavy dark brown hair that ripples in the wind, pretty hazel eyes that glisten in the sunlight, alluring smile filled with rows of bright white teeth, smooth skin, the curvaceous hips and curves of her body, and everything else i forgot to mention. honestly, i wouldn't even mind it if she stayed at this weight. The more I've gotten to know her on a more personal level, I've found her personality and quirky sense of humor to be even more attractive than her appearance. Sorry if that all sounds corny but I was never a good writer...

Anyways, i'll continue updating as long as something eventful happens.

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1 hour ago, greenbaycd said:

Our roles are kind of switched in our relationship.

Role reversals are fun, there are certain, unique characteristics a person has, and it is a good way to prove you overcame an insecurity.  In the grand scheme of things, it really doesn't matter who has more or is stronger if you work together and be supportive during each other's hour of need.

1 hour ago, greenbaycd said:

honestly, i wouldn't even mind it if she stayed at this weight. The more I've gotten to know her on a more personal level, I've found her personality and quirky sense of humor to be even more attractive than her appearance. 

This too.  Being relaxed and having fun are very underrated.

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Update 5/14/19

Relationship still going great as always. Just as I had expected from the get-go, we've been getting a lot of shit for our relationship (although we do get major support from our friends and family). One time, we were working in groups for math class, and the other two guys in our group were sort of making fun of how I have a skinnier build and my gf has a more fuller figure. They said stuff like "How do you expect him to protect you?" "Why don't you dump him and get with a real man?" and other really juvenile stuff like that. My gf then slammed back at them that she's looking for a boyfriend, not a bodyguard, and how they'll need protection if they keep it up. That shut them up. Oddly enough, it kind of turns me on when she sticks up for us like that. She also did it when some guys in our biology class were whispering to each other in the seats behind us: "How the hell did he get with that?" implying that she was out of my league appearance-wise. She then responded, without even turning around: "He's got with this because he's actually a decent person". That shut them up immediately as well. Some of her girl friends, who were sitting at the table across from us, overheard the exchange and started giggling. This isn't one-sided though of course, whenever she gets shit from someone else, I'm always there standing up to whoever the aggressor is (that is if she doesn't beat me to it). Thankfully, nothing I've ever said was enough to cause a physical fight. Like I said, we're a bit of a strange relationship, my fetish put aside.

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