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I Hear That Nancy Is Very Pretty

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I hear that Nancy is very pretty.

I can hear it in the way she laughs. I can hear it in the way her voice squeaks when she gets excited. I can very clearly hear that Nancy is very pretty. Nancy sounds perfect.


I can’t see that she’s pretty. I’m blind. Well, I can kinda see light from dark, but not a lot else. I certainly can’t see Nancy.


I hear her though when we have lunch at the work cafeteria. We have overlapping social circles and we congregate at 1pm around the table at the back of the canteen, out of the way. Gunnar basically guides me to my seat. He’s my best mate and colleague. We work as analysts in the ahem… public sector. Which is how I have to describe my job as a recordings analyst at GCHQ. Gunnar works as a translator. I work as a human lie detector.


Being blind helps with that kind of thing. My friends call me Daredevil, but honestly I can pick up slight pitch changes, quivers, evasions in speech and can work out from that if they are lying, like nobody else can. Other friends call me Rainman. My actual name is Clyde.


So, I asked if Nancy was pretty.


“Sure bro, you could say she was pretty” Gunnar said, his Norwegian accent lost under American inflection, as so many who grow up learning English from the movies do.

“So she’s not pretty?”

People don’t notice they’re dong this, but sometimes they soften their lie by saying ‘you could say...’, or sometimes it’s to convince themselves. I think it was the former here.

“No, no, I think she is pretty” he was back-tracking instead of attacking, which meant he was still trying to convince himself. That ‘think’. That’s a caveat. It serves as plausible deniability to his conscience. I reckon Gunnar didn’t want to say she was ugly out of politeness.

“Be honest mate. I can always tell. And anyway, it’s not like I’d hold it against her. Blind, remember?”

“She is pretty dude, really cute. Just… she’s not thin like some girls. Why? Are you gonna ask her out bro?” And there we have it. The source of his evasion. Her size.

I should maybe have guessed. I could hear that she was a plentiful eater at lunch. I could hear her groan at the thought of hitting the gym with Colette. I could her chair groan a little when she sat down.

But it didn’t matter to me. I was blind, I wasn’t going to judge. To me, Nancy sounds perfect.




Nancy always smells very nice. That’s one of the things I’ve always liked about her.

She sits at the table and smells like sweet peach and nectarine. Everyone else always smells like work or stress or tiredness and coffee.

But Nancy always smells like sweet peach and nectarine. To me, Nancy smells perfect.


“You look nice today Nancy” I say. The line between flirting and joking is narrow, I was walking it.

“Ah that’s really sweet. Wait, oh no! You were joking!” She said, and then letting out a clanging laugh. It was one of those really natural and unforced laughs. It was nectar.

“Sorry, I was. But I’m sure you do anyway.” I say and smile. Maybe I looked shifty when I did this. Some people say I look shifty when I speak, because I can’t make eye contact. Because I can’t see your eyes. I hope Nancy doesn’t think I look shifty.

“Awww, you’re really nice Daredevil!” she said. She touched my arm gently as she said it. The hairs on my arm all stood erect. They weren’t alone.

“Hey girl, did you know that Clyde has the hots for you? That’s why he’s always so sweet to you” Gunnar said. I could hear that he wasn’t lying, but I knew that he wasn’t lying anyway. I really did have the hots for her. I hope I wasn’t blushing.

“Clyde, you sly dog” Colette teased. You could hear from the way she said it that she was smiling as she teased. Smiles affect the pronunciation of vowels strongly.

“Hey, leave him alone. I happen to think Clyde’s cute too” Nancy snapped back. She said it sharply and instinctively, and the stress was on the ‘too’, which means she wasn’t worrying about the words that might have carried the lie. Which means she was telling the truth. Which means Nancy really believed that I was cute also.

See, I told you Nancy sounded perfect.




Nancy feels nice. And she’s been much more tactile since Gunnar outed me as fancying her. A brush of the arm, a friendly hug. I love the warmth of her. I didn’t care whether she was fat or slim, but I loved how soft she was. How cushioned. She felt perfect.


“So, when are you going to ask her out, man?” Gunnar said as he walked with me to the canteen.

“Ask who?” I said, playing dumb but only for comic effect.

“Hey, now who’s the liar? Nancy, you dickhead” he guffawed, dropping a British obscenity in his Americanspeak. “You two are so obvious. At least you have an excuse.”

“I don’t know. For a start, I’m hard work, needing help doing so much. You’re my best mate, you know that. I require more attention than I can give. And anyway, Nancy’s so pretty, is she not out of my league?” I hadn’t had a proper girlfriend before. Not a proper proper girlfriend. I’d had female friends who had gone out with me out of sympathy or because they pitied the blind guy. But never because they wanted to date me. Date the guy who could hear every one of their doubts about me, from their intonation.

“Look, bro. You are into her, so I’m going to be honest. She’s fat, man. Like, a really big girl. And you’re a good looking bloke. If anything, she’s punching above her weight, and that’s a lot of weight to punch above.” Gunnar said, sincerely.

I did enjoy being called a good looking bloke. I actually heard it a lot. People tended to tell me more because I couldn’t see it for myself. You might think that, as a blind person, vanity is beneath me, but au contraire mon ami, blind people are the vainest people you will ever meet. Beauty carries more lustre to us, since we hear people talk about it and mount such significance upon it, but can never see it. So, we want to uproot expectations and be called beautiful too.

I didn’t enjoy how Gunnar described Nancy though. “She’s fat, man.” It seemed condescending. Like she was plague-carrying or something. There was just more of her. And I would hate to live in a world where more Nancy was a bad thing. The world can never have too much Nancy.




“Hey Daredevil” Nancy giggled as she saw me and Gunnar arrive at the table. “Oh, and Gunnar, sorry.”

“Yeah, you two lovers just talk to each other. I’ll grab lunch. What do want, dude? They have lasagna as a special today?” Gunnar asked, grabbing a tray.

“Yes please mate” I replied.

“Oh, and could you go get me a slice of bread pudding while you’re up there Gunnar darling” Nancy asked. How had I not known she was a big girl? She had clearly already eaten dessert and she was ordering seconds. Should I mind? Should that put me off? It would for most sighted people. But, fuck it, I like who I like. And I like Nancy.

It wasn’t just the previous bowl of bread pudding I could smell. It was sweet peach and nectarines from her perfume. I could smell it with such precision. Two sprays on the neck, one on each wrist. It was heavenly. She smelt wonderful

And when she started talking, I could hear that past-paced talking of hers. The dramatic rises and falls of her sing-song voice. The giggling excitement, the tell-tale of happiness. I loved her enthusiasm, her joie de vivre. She sounded fantastic.

And then she wrapped one arm around me in an affectionate embrace. That soft arm, so hard to squirm out of, not that I ever felt the desire to do so. It pressed me against the doughy delights of her upper chest, my head mushed above her breasts She felt delightful.


“Nancy?” I asked as we were preparing to leave.

“Yes, my darling?” Those mellifluous tones were almost sung with good-natured warmth.

“Would it be okay… would you mind… maybe meeting up some time outside of work? You know, for a drink or something?” I stumbled through my words. I was normally so clear and concise, but every sound was a hurdle, and I tripped over each one.

Oh, I’d love to Clyde!” She hugged me again, this time with both arms wrapping around me like feather boas, but then tightened like boa constrictors. You didn’t need to be a human lie detector to know that she meant it. She really would love to.

She then pulled back, and time hung in the air. I could sense her bread pudding breath breathing on me. I could hear her breathing accelerate as we faced one another. I could feel her large stomach press against me even as she stood back. I could smell wafts of sweet peach and nectarine. And then we kissed.


I don’t know who leant in first, who followed whose cue. But we drifted forwards until our lips met. I like to think she closed her eyes. I have a feeling I closed mine. And we kissed. Her bulky body pressed against me and I felt anchored and secure, warm and coddled. Nancy was very pretty. I had heard right. Nancy smelt beautiful. She felt wonderful.

And best of all, as her lips hung on mine, Nancy tasted perfect.

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Hi guys, this story was just a quick one-off on my DA account. Nearly didn't post it, since stories seem to be mainly long form and kink-centric around these parts. But it was so adorable and I thought some of you at least might like it. It was actually based on a writing prompt - I hear that Nancy is pretty - but I think it holds up on its own merits. Please enjoy!

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An unexpected sequel because I loved these two too much

I'm Told That Nancy Is Beautiful


I’m told that I’m a handsome man. I don’t know for sure, but they don’t sound like they’re lying when they say it. They say it with surprise, with a rising intonation, like my visual impairment should, for whatever reason, by non-conducive to facial symmetry or whatever it is that people like. Maybe they only say I’m handsome against the misguided expectation that all blind folk are Quasimodo-looking motherfuckers. But each time somebody tells me it, it inflates my self-confidence a little more and my strides is a little less hesitant in the days that follow.

My stride was a little hesitant now though, so I sat on the side of her bed nervously. I fiddled with my fingers, listening to her strained breath as she walked towards me. The walk back to her place had clearly taken it out of her, and she had hidden in the bathroom to hide the deep wheezes that she found so embarrassing. I wouldn’t judge her though. I like being able to hear her breath. I love the sound of her breath. And, deep down in the recesses of my optimistic mind, I hope to do induce such out of breath panting with her tonight.


But that was just wishful thinking, and I squared those thoughts promptly away as she sat next to me on the end of her bed. I liked the way the mattress tilted towards her when she sat on it, in such a way that I found myself leaning against her accidentally. She giggled at me and my loss of balance. Her giggling sounded so cute and, leaning against her, she felt so secure. I righted myself nervously, grateful that my blindness excused my awkwardness.

Hey Daredevil, you can lean on me if you like” she said, and I could hear vowel sounds stretched wider from the grin on her face.

Thanks Nancy. I might just do that” I said, and leant back on her again. There was such comfort in the stability of leaning against this beautiful woman. My beautiful girlfriend.

And she was my girlfriend now. Officially. We had dated a couple of times, and gone out for a meal just. Gunnar finds the whole thing amusing and has been pestering me at work. Asking when I would ‘be a man and take things to the next level’? I feel my cheeks redden when he asks, but I distract my redirecting the conversation towards Collette. He shuts up then, because he knows I can hear the increased friendliness in the conversations between those two. My lie-dar strikes again.

The dates had been increasingly pleasant. The first one was awkward, but not unpleasantly so. The jokes were lame and it felt in a weird in-between zone of friendship and more-than-friendship. But each subsequent date felt more comfortable. I liked her. I liked her a lot. And, unless she was a magnificent liar, I think she liked me too.

This most recent date, a posh meal at a posh restaurant at a posh price, was a dream come true. I just enjoyed being in her company. The warmth of her jokes, the way she dominates the conversation so effortlessly. I just enjoy listening to her as she rants about work, or about politics, or about the rent in her building going up. We make such a comfortable pair, because I could listen to her for hours, and she could talk for hours. And, handily, her appetite means the meal lasted hours. She appreciates my lack of judgement at her desire for follow-up courses, to placate her magnificent appetite. I just like the excuse for our wonderful dates to last even longer.


When I hung your jacket up Clyde, I couldn’t help but notice that you had condoms in your pockets. You know most men leave them in their wallets, right?” she said and again I could hear her smiling. But the sound was drowned out a little by my own embarrassment. “Were you planning on getting lucky tonight?”

Umm...” was not much of a reply. Oh god, why had I just left them in my pocket? I was nervous and new to this. Very new to this. I was a 26 year old virgin and I was sitting next to the most beautiful woman I’ve never seen. My charm and confidence had deserted me, and I was left hearing the sound of my own gulps as I wrestled with my own nerves. “I’m not very clued up on the intricacies of convention with regards to… you know… such things. So I erred on the side of precaution”

Clyde… are you a virgin?” she said, and I couldn’t hear her smiling as she said it. I couldn’t hear much but my own breathing. I was a virgin, and I hadn’t really come close to not being one either. I’d kissed a couple of times, but the girls were often doing so out of sympathy or curiosity and rarely out of attraction. Blind guys were well down on the pecking order apparently, and I had grown comfortable in my loneliness. Nancy was upending all of that comfort.

Yeah, I mean… I guess. For obvious reasons. I… I used to deflect with this joke about eggs, about how eggs get laid more often than I do, and eggs only get laid once...” I rambled. Her laughter at my crappy joke helped pierce some of my insecurity thankfully.

Oh Clyde! That’s adorable. Don’t worry, I’ll guide you through it step-by-step” she said, with her pleasantly soft hand tightly in my own.

The apprentice to your master?” I asked, teasingly, trying to capitalise in the levity of the moment.

I wouldn’t say I was a master Clyde” she said, quieter. Her hand released mine and she shifted so slightly away. There was a quiet unease about how she had said that. I had upset her.

Oh, I’m sorry Nancy. It was stupid, I shouldn’t have said… I’m not very good at this. I’m sorry” I pleaded. My hand suddenly feeling cold and barren without hers in it.

No Clyde, it’s not your fault. It’s just that… I haven’t had sex in a while either. Not since I’ve… gained a lot of weight” she said. Her voice was brittle and fragile, like a stiff breeze could crack it. She was saying something she didn’t often admit. I felt honoured that she felt like she could admit it to me.

Hey, hey. That’s still a lot more recently than old virgin-face over here” I say, scrambling to comfort here. I offer both hands to her, and grip firmly and reassuringly. I can feel her pulse from the vein at the palm of her hand. Her pulse is accelerated.

Oh I know, I’m sorry Clyde. I shouldn’t be so insecure. It’s just that my weight makes me feel uncomfortable. Unloveable. Unattractive. I was never thin thin, but I just feel so unattractive at this size” she said, quietly. Her voice flickered at the end, as she tried to hide the hurt. I felt such a useless boyfriend because I was next to this beautiful woman who was way out of my league and made me feel like I could see the sun, and I didn’t have the words to help her realise this.

Hey. You’re beautiful, Nance. I know it. I can tell” I say, and I lean closer to make sure she can feel the side of my arm against hers. I like physical contact when sad, and I offered the same to her. “I tell you what Nancy. Tell me what you look like. Properly. I’d like to know.”

What, like...” Nancy sounded confused at the request.

Like, a proper top-to-bottom description of what you look like. I have a vision of you in my mind, but it’s not a vision but more like a feeling. I’d like to be able to see you, Nancy. I mean, I don’t even know what colour your hair is” I said, sincerely. And I would have passed my own lie-detector test because every word was true. You do have a something about how you perceive them. It’s just not visual as such. It’s hard to describe really, it’s just a sense. And I also had no clue as to what her colour was. Truthfully, I was born blind so I didn’t know colours really, so the topic was moot. But I just wanted to have more than just that sense of her. I wanted something more all-encompassing. Something that involved my other senses more.

There was a lull. A quiet in the conversation. All I could hear was our breathing. Mine, heavy with nerves. Hers, just heavy.

It’s muddy brown”


Nancy had muddy brown hair. It didn’t sound glamorous, but it at least sounded real. I felt like I could tether myself to her a bit more clearly now. Nancy had muddy brown hair and Nancy was beautiful.

I’ve got, like, muddy brown hair and it’s in a bob. And I have a fringe… and god this feels silly” she sighs. “You don’t want to know what I look like Clyde. I’m just not as pretty as you think I am”

Please don’t say that Nance. I know you’re beautiful, okay? And whatever you say, you’ll be beautiful. I really like you Nancy. I’ve never met anyone like you. Really. And even now, just sitting next to you, holding your hand, and listening to you fills me with warmth. You feel like sunshine to me” I say, and I squeeze her hand tighter.

That’s really sweet and everything but...” she replied, trying to hide from the compliment.

Do you know why Shakespeare wrote sonnets, Nance? I never understood why. His plays are so famous, and so cool. Like, I have them all downloaded, and I listen to them at night like a right nerd. And I would be listening to these audiobooks of Shakespeare’s plays and wondering why he wasted so many years writing sonnets. Like, how many more good plays could he have written if he’d just put the sonnets away? How many more Hamlets? How many King Lears? How many Romeo and Juliets?” I said to her, pouring my heart into every word.

I don’t understand what you’re trying to say” she interrupted. But I continued regardless.

But then he met you. Whoever his version of you was. His late 16th Century or early 17th Century equivalent of you. He met you. That’s why he wrote sonnets, Nance. Because he met you. He met you, and he wanted to compare you to a summer’s day. And I get it now. I get why he wrote sonnets. Because, what else is a wordsmith supposed to do when he meets someone like you other than compare you to a summer’s day.”

Suddenly, her hands pulled away from mine. They pulled away and instead wrapped around the back of my neck. Her hands felt so soft and feminine as they cradles my neck. And then she pulled my head towards hers and wrapped her lips around mine. We locked for a few seconds, and then she released me again.

I have brown hair, muddy brown. It’s not too short, but it is in a bob. I have a fringe, and it needs cutting to be honest. But I like my fringe Clyde. I feel like it suits me.” she opened up and told me.

I feel it suits you too”


What about the rest of your face?” I ask, with affection. I didn’t really need to know. I just wanted to hear Nancy tell me. I wanted Nancy to tell me she was beautiful. I wanted Nancy to realise what I had known all along. That Nancy is pretty. That Nancy is beautiful.

Oh, um… well, my eyes are hazel. My eyes look quite big, but that’s just because my glasses are quite strong. They’re those thick-framed ones that you get, like the Michael Caine types, that a quite trendy at the minute. They’re good because the kinda hide the crook in my nose” she explained.

The crook in your nose?”

Yeah, my nose tilts to the side. I had an accident as a teenager playing hockey. Broke it good and proper. Ran into another girl, smacked into the back of her head. And now my nose tilts to the side. Do you want to feel it?” she asked. I affirmed that I did, so she grabbed my hand and gently guided it towards her nose. Gently I could sense the contour of it, and, as she pulled my finger down it, I could feel that kink to the left that she was referring to.

Wow, that’s so cool. That’s like a little window into your past, into your life. Like, I had no idea you played hockey” I said, charmed. Another delightful insight into her delightful world.

Well, I don’t like talking about it to be honest. My hockey days. When I mention it now, I just feel their judgement. Like, how did a girl her size ever play hockey?” she said, and I sensed her posture wilt as she descended back into self-judgement.

Enough of that Nancy, you’re telling me how beautiful you are okay? Not how judgemental other people are, but how beautiful you are.” I said, steering the conversation away from the hurt in her voice.

Well, I guess my eyebrows are quite thin, because I plucked them for our date” she said, tentatively readjusting back into self-description.

Girls do that?” I asked naively. I genuinely had no idea.

Oh, girls rid themselves of so much body hair before a date Clyde… oh god, I...” and Nancy burst out laughing as she accidentally revealed more than she had expected.

So we’re moving away from the mouth?” I say, and I can’t hide my grin as I say it.

No we are not mister! No, we are talking about my face still. So, I have thin eyebrows and… I have quite chubby cheeks. Like, hamster cheeks. They make my face look more round than oval, I guess” she said. Her far arm was stretched out and I think she was using her phone to see herself. She was giving me a full run-down of her appearance.

Hamster cheeks sound cute” I reply.

Thanks. Yeah, I think they are. And then my lips are slim, but I’ve put on lippy to help with that. The less said about my chins the better though, so I’ll gloss over that part” she said. And it was working. She was getting into describing herself. Relaying how beautiful she was. Maybe she would start to see it too. As a blind man, I shouldn’t be the only one who can see it.

Okay, my shoulders are sturdy. I’ve got broad shoulders. Even when I was thin, I had wide shoulders” she said, and her voice was getting more relaxed. Suddenly, I felt her shuffling, as she undid the top buttons of her blouse to bear her bare shoulders. “And my bra digs into them so badly. And around my back. You men have no idea what a woman has to go through”

Maybe, take it off if it makes you uncomfortable” I said, slyly. I was blind but even still, the thought of her removing her bra sounded good. I heard a click as she fidgeted next to me.

Good idea, glad to take that off. And I guess that takes us to my boobs. These give me so much pain, but I bet you’d like them. Oh, I bet you wish you weren’t blind now” she teased, and I only just fully cottoned on to the fact that I was sitting next to the girl of my dreams and she was topless.

Urrr, just a bit” I joked, except I wasn’t joking really.

They’re big girls. Large nipples too. And I think they have started sloping off slightly sidewards” she said, and then her smile started fading again. “I guess it’s because my stomach is in the way”

When your nose tilted to the side, I got to feel it” I responded, making sure the topic remained kinky and light. She cackled in delight, and the mood was lifted once more. She then began unbuttoning the rest of her blouse.

I have a really large stomach, I guess. But it’s part of me, you know. I guess. I gotta own it, it’s too big but it’s me and it’s who I am and what I look like and I’m proud of it.” And her voice was rising in octave as she said it. She was beginning to get it. She was beautiful. She then removed herself from her trousers.

My legs are large too. They’re my mum’s legs, she was a wide girl with proper thick legs, and I guess I take after her here. There solid though, y’know. They ground me” she continued with growing conviction.

And my feet. Well, I like my feet. I have dainty feet, and I think my toes look cute with this red varnish on” she said and at last I could hear that smile again in her voice. Finally she realised what I had been trying to tell her for so long. That she was a goddess and I was luck just to share a bit of her. That she was magnificence personified. That she was the reason Shakespeare wrote sonnets. That she was beautiful.


I’ve been told you are beautiful” I tell her as I brush my lips against hers, my hands resting on the upper part of her breast as I lean in.

Really? Who told you that?” she replied with a cheeky smile.

You did, just then.”


Well, in that case, good job I took one of those condoms out of your pocket and brought it with me”

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1 hour ago, mal57 said:

Fantastic! Works beautifully as both FA and civilian literature, which is really tough to pull off. Just gave you a "watch" on DA, can't wait to dig deeper into your stuff.

Wow, thank you very much! That's about the gosh darn nicest thing anyone has ever said about these silly lil ol' stories of mine!

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