The Thin College

[Ganaroth]

1 hour ago, Batman76 said:

Sucky might be a succubus.

 

jason is a bit...he kinda comes off like a school shooter

While attempting to be as non-accusatory and constructive as possible.... this.

I'm interested in what you've got going on here. I'd like to see how it turns out, and the sci-fantasy aspects of the story intrigue me with a kind of Philip K. Dick vibe. But Jason himself...
My own impression of him is that he's the kind of self-pitying incel misogynist that can turn out to be genuinely dangerous to others without much prompting. His primary reactions on learning what happened to "Emily" is to reassure himself that she isn't real (which is disturbingly on-the-nose for the thought processes of actual sexual predators) and to attempt to conceal his own part in what happened. 

I can't root for Jason. Unless something drastic happens with his character, as stereotypically bitchy as the minor characters are, he is clearly the current villain of the piece. (Sucky may or may not be a bigger one.) The question that I have at this point is whether or not this is purposeful. Is this a narrative that is consciously structured around a villain protagonist or not? Because I can get behind that. There are many good stories centered around morally compromised characters. I just don't think we should fall for Jason's narrative that he's the hero here.

I'm definitely going to keep reading to find out which directions this goes, though.

Edited March 17, 2019 by Ganaroth
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[Ganaroth]

1 hour ago, greinskyn said:

@ Ganaroth…   I remember a well known movie villain being interviewed.  When asked how he could make the part so chilling and real he replied  The scariest villains in history didn't think themselves as evil.  Rather, they perceived themselves as the cure... that they were right in what they were doing.

Right from the start I wondered who Jason is.  We only have his side of the story as seen through his own filter.  Plus there are all those little "Smart" comments that make me wonder just what is going on.  Then there is "Sucky's" comment that he should wonder who HE is rather than who she was,...

Just whets my appetite more.

There are very few villains worth mentioning who view themselves as such. There are really three types; those with a warped internal monologue that justifies their actions as being in the service of some more deserving cause (even if that cause is as simple as 'because I deserve it"), those whose inner monologue is insufficient to war with their darker angels, or those with no internal monologue at all. The exceptions to these paradigms are vanishingly rare. The only really famous one I can think of off the top of my head is, arguably, DC's Joker, or characters with similar genesis like Carcer from Pratchett's "Night Watch."

1 hour ago, >_< 0_0 said:

I was worried that hint was too vague to be picked up 😅 Then again, there’s plenty more Easter eggs.

I remember reading Deathnote for the first time and getting twenty chapters in before thinking to myself: “huh. Is Kira evil? Not just a little, but extremely evil?” The story made me wonder about what exactly WAS good or evil, what line one crossed to be considered evil and such.

 I was kind of hoping it would take longer for people to start wondering that about Jason, but that was the intention 🤔 We know he’s screwed being where he is, but is his morality being compromised, and... ugh. I have to stop rambling before I spoil the story 😓

You've assuaged a lot of my concerns just by responding. I'm not only willing but actually quite eager to follow you down this ethical rabbit hole now that I have some level of confirmation that, for good or ill, those morals and ethics are being examined and that this is not simply an apologist text for the kinds of behaviors and attitudes your protagonist exhibits. This is the internet, after all, and we both know there are no shortage of people on these tubes that would write Jason's story and actually consider him a blameless protagonist, even a kind of strange Byronic Hero. The simple acknowledgement that it's not that simple is all I need to feel like I'm not wasting my time here. Please continue writing, and I'll continue reading.