Masturbation to pornography may cause impotence..

[pin-up goblin]

Also a lot of SSRI's (Selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors) cause it too or at least a severely decreased sex drive. The guy I was seeing had problems with that. We tried herbs, but the relationship didn't last long enough to see if it was successful.  :-\

[SayHelloToMyLittleFriend]

Also a lot of SSRI's (Selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors) cause it too or at least a severely decreased sex drive.

Out of the frying pan, into the fire.

[pin-up goblin]

Out of the frying pan, into the fire.

? Don't get what that is supposed to mean in the context.

[SayHelloToMyLittleFriend]

? Don't get what that is supposed to mean in the context.

Depression to impotence.

[Guest Garneau]

Technically speaking,  having a fetish means being

Secondly, I don't think people who likes twigs are a niche group - they're exactly the fucking same people who like the size 12 girls.

The studies mostly found out men prefer average size to twig size. Few stated they prefer twigs.

. So it's an 'aptitude' in that the 'core' fetish (fat, in this case) creates an opening for 'sub-fetishes' built around things that can't be programmed into our nature (specific types of situations involving food, scenarios and other objects that might emphasize in our mind the core thing we like - fat).

It may be that way. Does it mean it's a good idea to specialize?

[pin-up goblin]

Depression to impotence.

Exact opposite for me. I have a very high sex drive regardless and I take SSRI's. The medication only affected my depression and not my sex drive. It all depends on the person's body chemistry.

Plus, he also was off it for awhile and sexually he acted like a normal person would behave. However, he still was depressed so he needed the medication.

[SayHelloToMyLittleFriend]

The studies mostly found out men prefer average size to twig size. Few stated they prefer twigs.

I didn't say 'prefer.' All I meant is that they don't have a problem with girls being that thin, in the way that most of us probably do. In short, they're indifferent.

[Ayumi_Chan]

I didn't say 'prefer.' All I meant is that they don't have a problem with girls being that thin, in the way that most of us probably do. In short, they're indifferent.

My question is, are you talking a US size 10/12 or a EU size 10/12?

[SayHelloToMyLittleFriend]

My question is, are you talking a US size 10/12 or a EU size 10/12?

Eh, just whatever size happens to show up in those polls everyone's always talking about, where the preferred girl isn't size zero/six/supermodel thin. The number is basically arbitrary so long as it's not the smallest.

[Guest Garneau]

To get back to the fucking topic, what evidence is there to support the opposite assertion, namely, that you can't get addicted to porn and experience ED because of it?

Whether fetishes are learned, inborn, develop based on inheritance or enviroment is not the issue.

[KFD]

It's a psyhcosemantic reaction, much like Pavlovian dogs. Do anything long enough and you will be classically conditioned...

And chill with the f-bombs! You're kinda failing at it...

[Guest Garneau]

^So?

Even if it were classical conditiong, which I believe is present there, why should it cause ED..

[Guest Garneau]

That's what basically Gary Wilson is saying, and I think he's likely correct.

Still, I'd like to see someone who doesn't share his ideas try to take them apart.

[mickloud]

That's what basically Gary Wilson is saying, and I think he's likely correct.

Still, I'd like to see someone who doesn't share his ideas try to take them apart.

Well, looking back at the original post, I don't necessarily think there's a problem with Wilson's line of thought.  But the burden on proof is on him. 

While I think he's nowhere near ready to start stating his hypothesis as fact, I'm definitely not any better equipped to  dismantle his the theory. 

Wilson's approach seems to be based on a fundamental assumption that "behavior begets nature."  Sure, environment and behavior can have an impact on cognition and physiology, and at early stages of human development, environment is even though to affect the expression of genes.  But always treating behavior a cause, rather than an effect, misses half the picture.  While I can't be certain as it relates to this topic, in a broader sense, the evidence for "nature begetting behavior" in almost every facet of biology is staggering.

Perhaps something in the individuals "nature" predisposes them to prefer abstractions of sex, rather than the real thing.  This could be nothing more than shyness, social ineptitude, or something more complex, like an inborn fetish that 'hijacks' one's sexual identity (as in my case).  Pornography, combined with an active imagination, acts as distillation sexual stimuli, absent the awkwardness and unpredictability of real social interactions. 

In the example of someone who socially awkward, the desire to avoid uncomfortable interactions with the opposite sex might be greater than the desire to have intercourse with a partner.  Their sexual objective might then be reduced to "having a decent orgasm without the painfully awkward social foreplay."  This in turn could lead to a preference for masturbation over copulation, and performance anxiety when faced with a real-life partner.

As for the neurological connections made in the brain, which affect how the penis functions, Wilson is probably right.  Assuming it is even possible to rewiring your brain to prefer porn over sex, it is no stretch of the imagination to see how this might, over time, cause ED-like symptoms, if not actual ED.  But it seems presumptuous to me for Wilson to go from that, to saying, "[excessive] porn use CAUSES porn addiction" when it is just as likely that "addiction (or perhaps more accurately, inborn predisposition) CAUSES a [excessive] porn use." 

Both might be true, in which case the "causes" would feed back into one another, exacerbating the issue.  This would explain why the problems escalate to full sexual dysfunction.  But ultimately, the whole debate of "nature vs nuture" -- whether these problem originate in the hard coding of our DNA, in the subtle learned behaviors accumulated through our experiences, or somewhere in between -- is a bit like debating whether chicken came before the egg. 

[namad]

even if any of this was true, so what? just watch pornos while having sex :-p problem cured

[Ayumi_Chan]

^

I cannot tell you how annoying that gets after a while... Seriously, I want a sexual partner. Not someone who thinks of me as an aid in his masturbation.

Cause I noticed that when my boyfriend binged on a lot of porn and we needed porn to help him get and stay aroused I literally did not feel connected to him. Believe me, I don't mid sex for sex's sake, but when it seems like its routine... That's not awesome and makes the girl feel like shit because she wants turn him on. She wants to be the woman that can walk into a room, no clothes and he ravages her. Because for a long time I would wear sexy lingerie but because he had gotten so used to masturbation via high speed porn, I wasn't enough to rouse him. His porn collection and tastes were so much that just me in lingerie didn't even cause a twitch in him. And trust me, that's a huge blow to a girl's ego, especially with a guy who doesn't have the usual sexual preferences that other men do. Plus it hurt a lot to see him choosing to masturbate 9/10 if I was over rather than having sex with me. And its not like this was durig a time where we didnt see each other a lot, i was over at least 4 nights out of the week and we'd only have sex once during that whole week... Once! The other times he would try to masturbate while I was sleeping. And I understand a guy wanting to masturbate to get one off quick. That's fine cause I enjoy masturbation too... But it bothers me when a guy would rather make it their first option almost all the time. Not cool beans. It'd bother me more when I'd wake up and hear him wanking away and when I'd surprise him that I was awake he'd try to act like he wasn't doing anything.

Anyways, my boyfriend has been participating in no fap/no porn February, and before that he toned down on his masturbation. Let me tell you, the fact that I can turn him on again and he has a firm erection from start to finish along with me being able to turn him on again by wearing sexy lingerie is amazing. And it's nice I feel him be 100% there, in the moment rather than seeing him stare almost lifelessly zoned into porn is so so so nice. Even he feels much better as well in terms of having more connected sex and just feeling happier about each time we have sex is a huge plus. Plus he has admitted that he hasn't paid attention as much to my sexual needs and he feels good knowing he can be there and get closer to me again. He also has said that since he doesn't fap as much he doesnt feel anxious as he used too along with being better with getting things done because he hasn't been using up as much time in his day to look at porn and mastirbatez

Sorry that was a bit long, however whatever way you want to slice it, Porn can become an addiction to the point that it causes negative side effects on not just you, but your partner too. Overall, general message is that porn is good in moderation, simillar to alcohol or even going to the casino.

[gta]

^

I cannot tell you how annoying that gets after a while... Seriously, I want a sexual partner. Not someone who thinks of me as an aid in his masturbation.

Cause I noticed that when my boyfriend binged on a lot of porn and we needed porn to help him get and stay aroused I literally did not feel connected to him. Believe me, I don't mid sex for sex's sake, but when it seems like its routine... That's not awesome and makes the girl feel like shit because she wants turn him on. She wants to be the woman that can walk into a room, no clothes and he ravages her. Because for a long time I would wear sexy lingerie but because he had gotten so used to masturbation via high speed porn, I wasn't enough to rouse him. His porn collection and tastes were so much that just me in lingerie didn't even cause a twitch in him. And trust me, that's a huge blow to a girl's ego, especially with a guy who doesn't have the usual sexual preferences that other men do. Plus it hurt a lot to see him choosing to masturbate 9/10 if I was over rather than having sex with me. And its not like this was durig a time where we didnt see each other a lot, i was over at least 4 nights out of the week and we'd only have sex once during that whole week... Once! The other times he would try to masturbate while I was sleeping. And I understand a guy wanting to masturbate to get one off quick. That's fine cause I enjoy masturbation too... But it bothers me when a guy would rather make it their first option almost all the time. Not cool beans. It'd bother me more when I'd wake up and hear him wanking away and when I'd surprise him that I was awake he'd try to act like he wasn't doing anything.

Anyways, my boyfriend has been participating in no fap/no porn February, and before that he toned down on his masturbation. Let me tell you, the fact that I can turn him on again and he has a firm erection from start to finish along with me being able to turn him on again by wearing sexy lingerie is amazing. And it's nice I feel him be 100% there, in the moment rather than seeing him stare almost lifelessly zoned into porn is so so so nice. Even he feels much better as well in terms of having more connected sex and just feeling happier about each time we have sex is a huge plus. Plus he has admitted that he hasn't paid attention as much to my sexual needs and he feels good knowing he can be there and get closer to me again. He also has said that since he doesn't fap as much he doesnt feel anxious as he used too along with being better with getting things done because he hasn't been using up as much time in his day to look at porn and mastirbatez

Sorry that was a bit long, however whatever way you want to slice it, Porn can become an addiction to the point that it causes negative side effects on not just you, but your partner too. Overall, general message is that porn is good in moderation, simillar to alcohol or even going to the casino.

Yeah, I agree with everything you've said. I don't think a lot of people factor in the view you have either: the frustrated partner who is upset that he/she "is not good enough" to turn on their partner.

It's amazing when you can back away from heavy pornography use and stop masturbating like it's a chore. I tone back how much porn I consume and masturbation when I'm in a relationship because I like to be turned on by my partner. I feel terrible when I can't get aroused enough for sex - work/stress make that difficult enough.

[mickloud]

^

I cannot tell you how annoying that gets after a while... Seriously, I want a sexual partner. Not someone who thinks of me as an aid in his masturbation.

Cause I noticed that when my boyfriend binged on a lot of porn and we needed porn to help him get and stay aroused I literally did not feel connected to him. Believe me, I don't mid sex for sex's sake, but when it seems like its routine... That's not awesome and makes the girl feel like shit because she wants turn him on. She wants to be the woman that can walk into a room, no clothes and he ravages her. Because for a long time I would wear sexy lingerie but because he had gotten so used to masturbation via high speed porn, I wasn't enough to rouse him. His porn collection and tastes were so much that just me in lingerie didn't even cause a twitch in him. And trust me, that's a huge blow to a girl's ego, especially with a guy who doesn't have the usual sexual preferences that other men do. Plus it hurt a lot to see him choosing to masturbate 9/10 if I was over rather than having sex with me. And its not like this was durig a time where we didnt see each other a lot, i was over at least 4 nights out of the week and we'd only have sex once during that whole week... Once! The other times he would try to masturbate while I was sleeping. And I understand a guy wanting to masturbate to get one off quick. That's fine cause I enjoy masturbation too... But it bothers me when a guy would rather make it their first option almost all the time. Not cool beans. It'd bother me more when I'd wake up and hear him wanking away and when I'd surprise him that I was awake he'd try to act like he wasn't doing anything.

Anyways, my boyfriend has been participating in no fap/no porn February, and before that he toned down on his masturbation. Let me tell you, the fact that I can turn him on again and he has a firm erection from start to finish along with me being able to turn him on again by wearing sexy lingerie is amazing. And it's nice I feel him be 100% there, in the moment rather than seeing him stare almost lifelessly zoned into porn is so so so nice. Even he feels much better as well in terms of having more connected sex and just feeling happier about each time we have sex is a huge plus. Plus he has admitted that he hasn't paid attention as much to my sexual needs and he feels good knowing he can be there and get closer to me again. He also has said that since he doesn't fap as much he doesnt feel anxious as he used too along with being better with getting things done because he hasn't been using up as much time in his day to look at porn and mastirbatez

Sorry that was a bit long, however whatever way you want to slice it, Porn can become an addiction to the point that it causes negative side effects on not just you, but your partner too. Overall, general message is that porn is good in moderation, simillar to alcohol or even going to the casino.

This was actually a bit painful to read, because I felt that I was doing this to my last girlfriend all of the time.

The situation was a bit different. I don't consider myself to be a heavy porn user, but since my fetish is basically my only turn on.  So I don't see it as self-inflicted, or self-perpetuated.  I don't see it as something where blame can be assigned, but none the less, it still hurt her.

Like you said, it was often not enough for my girlfriend to just be there, gorgeous and naked and wanting sex.  My stupid fetish was always tripping me up... knowing that she wasn't into it, and that it was ALL I was into... didn't help at all.  Seeing that what was ultimately MY problem make her feel inadequate and unattractive was really depressing, and I felt a lot of pressure to perform in spite of not being in the mood, just to avoid hurting her.

It became a circularly problem - the more pressure I felt to perform, the worse it would be, and the more she would feel inadequate and blame herself, the worse I'd feel, etc.

I remain a skeptic about porn addiction (at least as presented by this thread).  But for those whose sensitivity to RL sexual stimuli does seem to be negatively affected by excessive porn use, I suppose its worth trying to cut back for the sake of others who might be hurt by it.

[Ayumi_Chan]

Yeah, I agree with everything you've said. I don't think a lot of people factor in the view you have either: the frustrated partner who is upset that he/she "is not good enough" to turn on their partner.

It's amazing when you can back away from heavy pornography use and stop masturbating like it's a chore. I tone back how much porn I consume and masturbation when I'm in a relationship because I like to be turned on by my partner. I feel terrible when I can't get aroused enough for sex - work/stress make that difficult enough.

My boyfriend would feel terrible that he couldn't be as sexually fulfilling as he would like to be for a long time till he started really taking to heart what I have said about excessive use of porn and a lot of things really started to make sense.

But seriously though, there were MANY nights I would actually get upset at myself and cry because I thought that maybe I wasn't good enough even though he told me I was sexy.... but as we all know, actions speak louder than words so it was really hard to believe him. Plus knowing too that I knew a majority of his exes were heavier than me in some form.... that added a lot of stress on me. (That was not the main reason why I started gaining as I had been trying to regain what I had lost after my ex and I had broken up. Being sexier in the eyes of my boyfriend than I already was while adding on weight was an added perk!) I don't think a lot of guys realize just how intensely this affects the partner as much as the person addicted to porn and masturbation. It can really make a partner feel inadequate too.

[Ayumi_Chan]

This was actually a bit painful to read, because I felt that I was doing this to my last girlfriend all of the time.

The situation was a bit different. I don't consider myself to be a heavy porn user, but since my fetish is basically my only turn on.  So I don't see it as self-inflicted, or self-perpetuated.  I don't see it as something where blame can be assigned, but none the less, it still hurt her.

Like you said, it was often not enough for my girlfriend to just be there, gorgeous and naked and wanting sex.  My stupid fetish was always tripping me up... knowing that she wasn't into it, and that it was ALL I was into... didn't help at all.  Seeing that what was ultimately MY problem make her feel inadequate and unattractive was really depressing, and I felt a lot of pressure to perform in spite of not being in the mood, just to avoid hurting her.

It became a circularly problem - the more pressure I felt to perform, the worse it would be, and the more she would feel inadequate and blame herself, the worse I'd feel, etc.

I remain a skeptic about porn addiction (at least as presented by this thread).  But for those whose sensitivity to RL sexual stimuli does seem to be negatively affected by excessive porn use, I suppose its worth trying to cut back for the sake of others who might be hurt by it.

It's not so much of an issue for people who learned to use porn prior to high speed internet. The problem with high speed is that you get more variety in a single fap episode than you would in an period of having sex with a female. So not only are you exposing yourself to "Fresh material" once you get bored with it, you are also conditioning yourself to look at pixelated images of women in a very select setting attuned to specific tastes that may not be conductive to a real human partner. Because even my boyyfriend said he had this issue even when with his exes of losing hard ons during sex. And one of the girls he had sex with was a BBW in all meaning of the word.

Here's a test you should do for yourself which may clear some skepticism.

1. Masturbate to porn and get yourself off, should be easy.

2. Masturbate without porn without delving into a scene from a porn. Focus soley on the feelings that you feel while masturbating. This should be an easy feat as it's how most people started out before the high speed internet days and before what most of us knew what porn was. If you are unable to get hard and stay hard through masturbation without delving into a stockpile of porn images in your mind, that's a hint that maybe your porn use is a little much and it is impacting you in a way you may not realize.

Because I can definitely see a drastic change in his sexual response with decreased masturbation and no porn. He is much harder and he has gotten back into the habit of actually building it up.

A quick question, whenever you had sex with your ex, would you do foreplay with actual kissing and feeling her body next to yours and fellatio and be able to get turned on that way? Or would you try to enter her as fast as you could when you had a hard on in fear of losing it? Because this last time with my boyfriend, we started kissing and we were completely naked, and then from there we explored and had awesome foreplay and he got harder than I had seen from him in a long time. Where as prior to him cutting back on fapping and porn, he was all about skipping foreplay and even spending a long time kissing me in fear of losing his erection. I'm pretty sure that there is some kind of a correlation, no matter how small of one there is.

[Stefarno]

Anyways, my boyfriend has been participating in no fap/no porn February

Cripes, talk about a commitment!

[balh]

After reading all the pages. well most i feel like I have a problem with what has been said.. the only difference is I don't see porn. Yes seen some nudity but try and stay away from the FULL BLAST Porn, for personal reasons. Sad to say my family has problem with alcohol, so my family has a tren to get addicted to things. Its interesting about what some of you said. I did have childhood problems, but I stumbled by masturbation by accident. Funny enough Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory was when my "Feitsh" began with violet. Its like I wanted to be like that . But loved bigger girls after that movie.

Than after that, I was wondering how it felt to be big, so i started stuffing and such, but my self confidence never let me get too big like i dreamt . I've had days of not Masturbation before, but my dreams would be almost about the feitsh.

Or when I have strong urges of getting huge and feeling really FULL, i masturbate and dont have the urge.  Personally wish I could stop, and not have the feeling like a smoker to do something. Don't want to be a slave to it. Don't know if how some said childhood problems and mind is fixing. I wish it would be fixed up .

In real life, I would rather be with a skinny girl, but in online be a Fat Admirer. But still think like wow that fat girl looks nice. I don't know what the problem is or what. Hope someone here can understand or help figure bout myself. I'm 21 also a virgin, and no girlfriend. But I don't want to have sex before marriage, its a moral choice and I really wana keep it, so pleaes dont say go get laid or w.e. not help. But I do have Bad self confidence issues dont know how badly that is making things worse,

Thanks.

Normal i don't post but this topic making me come out of shell. a bit.

[Ayumi_Chan]

Cripes, talk about a commitment!

The thing is that I recommended it to him, but ultimately he made the decision himself so I think it will be easier for him to follow through. To this day he says the only time he touches himself is when he showers, adjusts himself, and uses the bathroom. Otherwise he has stayed the course! I am definitely proud of him for sticking with it.

[mickloud]

It's not so much of an issue for people who learned to use porn prior to high speed internet. The problem with high speed is that you get more variety in a single fap episode than you would in an period of having sex with a female. So not only are you exposing yourself to "Fresh material" once you get bored with it, you are also conditioning yourself to look at pixelated images of women in a very select setting attuned to specific tastes that may not be conductive to a real human partner. Because even my boyyfriend said he had this issue even when with his exes of losing hard ons during sex. And one of the girls he had sex with was a BBW in all meaning of the word.

Here's a test you should do for yourself which may clear some skepticism.

1. Masturbate to porn and get yourself off, should be easy.

2. Masturbate without porn without delving into a scene from a porn. Focus soley on the feelings that you feel while masturbating. This should be an easy feat as it's how most people started out before the high speed internet days and before what most of us knew what porn was. If you are unable to get hard and stay hard through masturbation without delving into a stockpile of porn images in your mind, that's a hint that maybe your porn use is a little much and it is impacting you in a way you may not realize.

Well, if I'm being honest, I probably couldn't get hard without some kind of fantasy or image going thru my mind. I "discovered" masturbation while drawing pictures of women and creating erotic narratives in my head, so I've always had the fantasies.  There's no point in my past that I can look back on where I could masturbate by just enjoying the feeling of the act.

Part of the problem is that - for reasons I can't explain - I am somewhat averse to being touched in any way, sexually or otherwise.  I tend to withdraw involuntarily from even normal physical contact, like someone trying to pat me on the back.  It also happens when I'm being intimate with a girl, which is obviously problematic because it makes her think she's "doing it wrong" and causes insecurities.

It's rather weird, and I'm not sure why I am this way.  Whatever the reason, I think touch, in and of itself, does very little for me on its own.  On the other hand, I'm rather responsive to words, mental images, etc., and I'm extremely sensitive to whether or not the girl is mutually interested in my fantasies.  If a girl knows/shares my fetish, and says all the right things (and isn't obviously faking it), I'm completely hers. 

I don't think I got this way by abusing porn.  Sure, I've always uses an image of some kind, but I don't do the whole "30 different videos at one time so I don't get bored" thing.  I usually use a single, static image - or just my imagination - as a catalyst for a fantasy.

A quick question, whenever you had sex with your ex, would you do foreplay with actual kissing and feeling her body next to yours and fellatio and be able to get turned on that way? Or would you try to enter her as fast as you could when you had a hard on in fear of losing it? Because this last time with my boyfriend, we started kissing and we were completely naked, and then from there we explored and had awesome foreplay and he got harder than I had seen from him in a long time. Where as prior to him cutting back on fapping and porn, he was all about skipping foreplay and even spending a long time kissing me in fear of losing his erection. I'm pretty sure that there is some kind of a correlation, no matter how small of one there is.

Actually, we spent a lot of time on foreplay.  Despite my reservations about receiving affection, I was pretty generous when it came to giving it out.  I would spend a lot of time just laying naked with her, holding her, kissing her body all over, teasing her, etc.  I also loved performing oral on her, and while I don't want to brag, I got pretty good at it.  I never really had any trouble staying hard through all that, except when it really mattered and there was suddenly a lot of pressure to perform.

It was a strange dynamic; because I would defer sex in favor of eating her out, she got off a lot more than I did.  And I was content to keep it that way.  I knew that the "normal stuff" she would do wouldn't work on me, and that it would be insane to expect her to do the things that would work.  And I figured, as long as she got a big juicy orgasm out of it, I didn't have to feel like I was "failing to perform."  But it made her unhappy, because she wanted to be able to please me and get me off.

[SayHelloToMyLittleFriend]

It was a strange dynamic; because I would defer sex in favor of eating her out, she got off a lot more than I did.  And I was content to keep it that way.  I knew that the "normal stuff" she would do wouldn't work on me, and that it would be insane to expect her to do the things that would work.  And I figured, as long as she got a big juicy orgasm out of it, I didn't have to feel like I was "failing to perform."  But it made her unhappy, because she wanted to be able to please me and get me off.

Bitches and their selfish selflessness.