Masturbation to pornography may cause impotence..

[mickloud]

From personal anecdotal experience and the general view of the medical world, I'm inclined to think sexual preference is very much innate - the only thing that cultural exposure does to these preferences is lift the veil on them. I can remember having a strange attraction to virtually everything I like now as a child, in a peculiar pre-sexual way. That is to say, I knew I liked it, but I didn't know what it was or why I liked it.

I'm inclined to agree with this.

I remember feelings and experiences that I had as a child which suggest that I have always had my fetish.  I have always had a strange fascination with weight/size, and was sensitive to body image issues.  I remember, at about the age of 5, I decided that I would "never be fat," and would always consciously avoid overeating, sometimes to the point that my parents or school officials were concerned about my behavior.  I felt awkward any time anyone said words like "belly." 

But in private, I was fascinated by the idea of overeating.  I would do things like stuff pillows under my shirt, imagining I had just eating a huge meal, then try to "project" that feeling upon some non-existent other, a hypothetical / imaginary girlfriend.  At around age 11, while drawing pictures of women with stuffed bellies, I accidentally "discovered" masturbation (that is to say, I had no concept of sex or masturbation, and was just doing what felt good at the time). 

So unlike the people in these articles, who report some time in their life when they were "normal," I've never had "normal" sexual desires.  Sex, in and of itself, has never interested me, and traditional sexual stimuli (for example, a photo spread in Playboy magazine) have never been sufficient to cause arousal.  I discovered what DID work by essentially drawing my own porn and letting my imagination fill in the blanks.  And fortunately, I discovered via StuffedOnline and other sites that there were other people who were just like me. 

I doubt conditioning played ANY role in my fetish, honestly.  And if conditioning could be used to change it, I feel as though I would be changing something that is a fundamental part of my identity.  It would make my sex life a hell of a lot easier.  But I don't think I'd change it, even if I could.

That being said, each fetish has it's roots planted deep within our subconscious, and is due, more often than not, to reasons well out of our control. Personally, I think that the commonly held belief that Fat Admiration derives from stress is utter rubbish and is a theory devised by those who do not understand the fetish itself. This sort of thing is not something easily parted with or gained and is thus very much an inseparable part of our inner nature.

Its interesting that you mention fetishes being rooted in the subconscious.  Personally, I'm a skeptic when it comes to any claims to understand how a fetish is rooted in the mind.  Further, my own bias towards nature over nurture lends me to think that the occurrence a given fetish probably has more to do with gene mutations than experiences or traumas locked away in the unconscious mind. 

The only thing remotely 'Freudian' about my fetish is that it I also have body issues and serious hang-ups about overeating and gaining weight myself.  But I think I may be drifting off the topic...

[Ayumi_Chan]

The only thing remotely 'Freudian' about my fetish is that it I also have body issues and serious hang-ups about overeating and gaining weight myself.  But I think I may be drifting off the topic...

(This could be a cold medicine induced rambling, but I thought it was a good opinion at the time... So bear with me.)

Not necessarily so. I've read in psych articles where there has been research done, and also my own experience where if you've had negative experiences, the brain will find ways to cope with it. Sometimes this leads people into having wants or desires that turn a bad history around into a positive experience. That's not to say it's true with everything. But when I was younger, about 5-6 years old, I had things happen to me, that I can easily attribute to why I have some sexual fetishes and preferences I do now. I'm not particularly fond of that by any means. But Does that mean it's completely true for everything I experienced that was traumatic? No. I think there are things though that your brain will try and compensate for in later years that may have been a negative experience when you were younger, and unless you sought help in some form or another, which I did not, I think there are cases where it will manifest it's self in a sexual form.

Like I said, that's not true of everything. My boyfriend can distinctly recall being interested with pregnancy from a very young age himself as he would stuff things up his shirt or the like. He's not sure if that had to do with seeing his mother pregnant when he was younger since that's one of the earliest memories he had, but he does know that it's always been something that has accompanied him thought his life. Granted however as far as porn material goes, He says that there's been things that he's stumbled upon that has piqued his interest and he's developed a fetish for over time. I believe in that instance, yes, porn can affect directly the kinds of things you're in to. However, as another article I read, you will have a better understanding of your preference/fetish if you can look back to the stuff you first started masturbating to. For my boyfriend, it was pregnant women. So I think the whole, porn/ personal environmental exposure can be true, but on the flip side, there are things that are innate within our biochemistry.

Another thing too, I just want to throw that out there, but I don't think any of this stuff is weird, it's interesting, but just cause you don't prefer "normal" sex doesn't make this whole fetish different. In reality, who really does have "Normal sex" anyways? You say this stuff is weird, but in reality, whether you'd like to admit it or not, food does play a huge part in sex if you think about it, so I don't think it's weird that stuffing fetishes have been around for a while and people are attracted to that as means of sexual pleasure. (Sorry that's a different tangent...)

[mickloud]

(This could be a cold medicine induced rambling, but I thought it was a good opinion at the time... So bear with me.)

Not necessarily so. I've read in psych articles where there has been research done, and also my own experience where if you've had negative experiences, the brain will find ways to cope with it. Sometimes this leads people into having wants or desires that turn a bad history around into a positive experience. That's not to say it's true with everything. But when I was younger, about 5-6 years old, I had things happen to me, that I can easily attribute to why I have some sexual fetishes and preferences I do now. I'm not particularly fond of that by any means. But Does that mean it's completely true for everything I experienced that was traumatic? No. I think there are things though that your brain will try and compensate for in later years that may have been a negative experience when you were younger, and unless you sought help in some form or another, which I did not, I think there are cases where it will manifest it's self in a sexual form.

Like I said, that's not true of everything. My boyfriend can distinctly recall being interested with pregnancy from a very young age himself as he would stuff things up his shirt or the like. He's not sure if that had to do with seeing his mother pregnant when he was younger since that's one of the earliest memories he had, but he does know that it's always been something that has accompanied him thought his life. Granted however as far as porn material goes, He says that there's been things that he's stumbled upon that has piqued his interest and he's developed a fetish for over time. I believe in that instance, yes, porn can affect directly the kinds of things you're in to. However, as another article I read, you will have a better understanding of your preference/fetish if you can look back to the stuff you first started masturbating to. For my boyfriend, it was pregnant women. So I think the whole, porn/ personal environmental exposure can be true, but on the flip side, there are things that are innate within our biochemistry.

Another thing too, I just want to throw that out there, but I don't think any of this stuff is weird, it's interesting, but just cause you don't prefer "normal" sex doesn't make this whole fetish different. In reality, who really does have "Normal sex" anyways? You say this stuff is weird, but in reality, whether you'd like to admit it or not, food does play a huge part in sex if you think about it, so I don't think it's weird that stuffing fetishes have been around for a while and people are attracted to that as means of sexual pleasure. (Sorry that's a different tangent...)

I guess I'm just skeptical about attributing fetishes to childhood experiences or early-life traumas and to coping mechanisms.  Its not that these coping mechanisms don't exists. Its just that people experiences are so diverse, yet sexual behaviors and fetishes seem almost archetypal.  I'd imagine that porn use can reinforce this, because it helps you "label" yourself.  But I found myself having the same fantasies pre-internet that I would later see others describe in WG fiction.  There's a bizarre universality to the fantasies people have in their respective fetishes, despite the seeming non-universality of human experience.

I do find it interesting that your boyfriend developed new fetishes over time.  The second article that was posted had a number anecdotes about porn use that mentioned people stumbling upon new things and developing fetishes in that way.  It almost reminds me of the gateway drug theory.  But I never had that particular experience, myself.  In fact, when I first discovered that others had my fetish, it was through a site called StuffedOnline, which also catered to fetishes like vorarephiles, maiesiophiles, and furries.  I was exposed to a lot of that stuff, but never really developed an interest in any of it, even if it also appealed to my stuffing fetish. 

I would be interested to hear what you mean when you say that "food does play a huge part in sex."  Not that I disagree necessarily, but I'm not sure I follow.  I'm familiar with the idea of food as an aphrodisiac, and with somewhat more mainstream use of food during foreplay.  Beyond that, I'm clueless. 

That said, I don't think that my fetish is as weird as some others, nor do I think being weird is a bad thing

[Guest Garneau]

I'm inclined to think sexual preference is very much innate - the only thing that cultural exposure does to these preferences is lift the veil on them.

So, I imagine history was full of people who were into tranny porn and never even knew it..

What about all the  smoking fetishists born before anyone got stupid enough to smoke crap?

Neolithic mechanophiles? Poor bastards: there weren't any cars around for them to sodomize.

I think it's likely that hetero or homosexuality is innate - even though homosexual behavior can result from a fetish.. but most everything after that is a matter of influences or upbringing. I'll try looking into it, there's bounds to be some good material out there.

In short, no there is no way to get rid of it, and, frankly, why would you really want to?

Couple of reasons:

- the very high likelihood that too much wanking to fetish material has caused my erectile dysfunction

- it's mostly a fantasy thing, and thus could be an impediment to properly satisfying future partners.

So, if it's possible to partly 'forget' a fetish by not feeding it at all, that's what I'm going to try.

[SayHelloToMyLittleFriend]

So, I imagine history was full of people who were into tranny porn and never even knew it..

What about all the  smoking fetishists born before anyone got stupid enough to smoke crap?

Neolithic mechanophiles? Poor bastards: there weren't any cars around for them to sodomize.

I think it's likely that hetero or homosexuality is innate - even though homosexual behavior can result from a fetish.. but most everything after that is a matter of influences or upbringing. I'll try looking into it, there's bounds to be some good material out there.

Couple of reasons:

- the very high likelihood that too much wanking to fetish material has caused my erectile dysfunction

- it's mostly a fantasy thing, and thus could be an impediment to properly satisfying future partners.

So, if it's possible to partly 'forget' a fetish by not feeding it at all, that's what I'm going to try.

I think you're not seeing the woods from the trees in separating out the 'paraphernalia-philiae' when it's usually just part of a more largely encompassing fetish. People who like fat are often into stuffing and feeding; trannies would trace to the innumerable sexual fetishes for a particular part of the body over the body 'as a whole' - ie. I can like parts of female body without liking it all. In all cases, a more foundational sexual preference is at the heart of it - you like fat chicks, you like dicks, you like BDSM, you like macho-ism, or whatever. Accordingly, we find social constructs/objects that happen to embody part of this sexual preference, and it becomes arousing. No one is born thinking that teachers or smoking is hot, but the social stigmas attached trigger something that is innate: a fetish for female dominance that we might associate with a teacher, the 'bad girl' look of women smoking, and so forth.

Think of it like Chomsky. No one is born a mechanophile just like no one is born with the knowledge of what a 'mechanic' is. What we are born with, however, is the linguistic information necessary to make the word make sense. Likewise, people aren't born with an erotic fixation for whips, belts and handcuffs, but by their association to the idea of domination sex-play they become hot.

A thought experiment: if from today onwards, handcuffs were only ever used to hold trees up straight while they grow, and all knowledge and record of their function for binding people up was stricken from memory and the history books, would future BDSM-ers still find them attractive? No, not unless they re-worked out how to use them against people. Otherwise they'd just go for whatever happened to do the job similarly well. Ergo, people aren't attracted to the thing (cuffs, food, cigarettes) but the association; the desire is informed by culture, but not created by it.

[mickloud]

Again, SayHello hits the nail on the head.

I'm going to add a theory of my own to that, though I want to say first that I am, at best, a layperson in the subjects of biology and psychology.

That said, the deeper, more fundamental aspects SayHello described are similar to what I referred to earlier  as "archetypes."  From my observations, fetishes never seem to be unique to a single individual.  They might be extremely rare, and relate to seemingly obscure subject matter.  But Person A and Person B can exhibit the same fetish in an uncannily similar, if not identical manner, even if they are not closely related, and have completely different experiential backgrounds.  That is not to say that culture and experience don't play a role in the specifics of a fetish. 

For example... Someone who enjoys bondage might latch on to a specific aspect of the experience of being bound, like how the rope feels against his/her skin.  But ultimately, the fetish might be rooted in something more basic, like the need to be controlled, or perhaps even the need to feel vulnerable.  The combination of emotion, imagination, and physical sensation make up the complete experience.  But why are there so many people with bondage fetishes, and even many who report being turned on by the same stimuli within the overall experience?

I would offer that the fundamental desires behind fetishes (or any behavior, for that matter) are innate to EVERYONE, to varying degrees. 

For example, everyone is creative to some degree.  It is a universal human trait.  You have to be at least a little creative in order do things like plan for the future.  Most people are creative enough to re-combine others' ideas in novel ways, and some people can even have original ideas from time to time.  However, a person who excels at creativity -- and also happens to be highly disciplined, detail oriented, and confident in their intuition -- usually manifests some kind of artistic talent. 

Different parts of our "machinery" (that is, our nervous system) operate at different levels of efficacy.  If creativity helps an animal survive, and survival is its own reward, this would explain its universality.  But our bodies have more short-term ways to rewarding pro-survival traits, like making its own "drugs" (endogenous morphine).  Being creative feels good, so we do it, so we don't die.  Some people are better than others, and a few are so good at it that they can use creativity outside of its pragmatic purpose, and create art. 

By the same token, it is likely everyone possess an innate desire to submit, or be vulnerable to others, as part of a set of social behaviors that give rise to altruism in primates.  After all, we can't always be in charge. If there is mechanism in place to reward submissive behavior, to assure mutual cooperation between two organisms that might otherwise compete for survival, both are better off.  People who do better than others might be less socially aggressive, and more content with their overall lot in life.  And those that do it "too well" or whose reward system is "too generous" might seek out dominating social partners or situations that make them feel vulnerable or out of control.

So the roots of fetishes might actually have a basis in survival mechanisms that have been bred into us through years of evolution as a social species.  But that is only half the picture, as it fails to explain why the rewards for these behaviors become sexualized.

It is possible that this is "mechanical" as well.  While we do learn to make associates between unrelated stimuli through classical conditioning, it is also possible to have a physiological basis for making these associations.  There is a common form of synaesthesia in which an individual associates numbers and colors.  For synaesthetes, the respective parts of the brain responsible for performing calculations and processing visual stimuli have "too many" connections, compared to non-synaesthetes.  It is possible that a synaethesia-like connection could be responsible for fetishes, assuming that the individuals A.) possess an abnormal predisposition towards the related social behavior, or an abnormally generous reward mechanism for that behavior, and B.) possess an abnormally high number of connections between the brain regions which manage these reward mechanisms, and those which process sexual ques.

So in other words, our bondage fetishist might simple be an overly-submissive individual wires are crossed, such that the rewards for submissive social behaviors are felt as erotic.  Culture fills in the blanks, and gives us the details which we are classically condition to associate with our innate fetish.  The bondage fetishist might be able to overcome their love of rope, or switch over to handcuffs, but they will always eroticize the experience of being dominated.

Of course, this is just a theory

[Ayumi_Chan]

I guess I'm just skeptical about attributing fetishes to childhood experiences or early-life traumas and to coping mechanisms.  Its not that these coping mechanisms don't exists. Its just that people experiences are so diverse, yet sexual behaviors and fetishes seem almost archetypal.  I'd imagine that porn use can reinforce this, because it helps you "label" yourself.  But I found myself having the same fantasies pre-internet that I would later see others describe in WG fiction.  There's a bizarre universality to the fantasies people have in their respective fetishes, despite the seeming non-universality of human experience.

When you say it's archetypal, I would imagine because sexual behaviors are related to the primal need to spread your seed and grow the human population. Let's not forget the fact that we all started out as primitive beings that survived and grew the population. It's something you still see today. This is why, even though we may have a mate, our eyes wander. It's not because we want to be unfaithful, but because of the fact that our primal instincts are saying "HEY THAT PERSON THERE LOOKS ATTRACTIVE, SPREAD YOUR DNA!" I think fetishes and preferences are similar in the aspect that everyone has them, as you have said, to some varying degree. Some people like X while other like Y, some people like ABC, and others, well they like the whole damn alphabet. I think that there's a sense of conditioning to which you may evolve your tastes over time, but I can agree that there will always be parts that are fundamentally basic in why you are drawn to a certain fetish.

I do find it interesting that your boyfriend developed new fetishes over time.  The second article that was posted had a number anecdotes about porn use that mentioned people stumbling upon new things and developing fetishes in that way.  It almost reminds me of the gateway drug theory.  But I never had that particular experience, myself.  In fact, when I first discovered that others had my fetish, it was through a site called StuffedOnline, which also catered to fetishes like vorarephiles, maiesiophiles, and furries.  I was exposed to a lot of that stuff, but never really developed an interest in any of it, even if it also appealed to my stuffing fetish.

I think that this is once again something that can be related on a person to person basis, rather than speaking for every individual in terms of "progressing through different fetishes." Some people will always be content with their generic fap bins. IE "I have a certain folder of stuff I visit to all the time (In this case your fetish of stuffing,) and that suits me just fine." But then there are others that when they get bored with what they have because they require more for their arousal to peak and that's where they become progressive in their search for things, which over time of reinforcement (fapping to said fetish or image,) you get the folks that seem to have many different fetishes. So I do think that both theories in terms of innate fetishes and acquired fetishes do hold valuable ground.   

I would be interested to hear what you mean when you say that "food does play a huge part in sex."  Not that I disagree necessarily, but I'm not sure I follow.  I'm familiar with the idea of food as an aphrodisiac, and with somewhat more mainstream use of food during foreplay.  Beyond that, I'm clueless. 

That said, I don't think that my fetish is as weird as some others, nor do I think being weird is a bad thing

Actually that's what I was referring to. lol. =) Plus for women as well, you see the associations of certain foods representing phallic symbols. Even just saying some words can almost feel like a sexual experience. So it's not surprising that people would have fetishes revolving around food, or anything related to food, IE weight gain, feeding, feeders, stuffing, ect... Plus food is a nurturing thing, it nurtures your body and allows you to live. I actually think it's a lot more common than most people on this forum would think, but because of the fact that for years most nations are so reluctant to really talk about sex or issues around sex, there that whole stigma of "If it's not 'normal sex,' then I can't talk about it because no one would understand."

Or maybe it's just me and I'm just open to these sorts of things... lol

And I'm glad to hear you are comfortable with your fetish and your own sexual needs. =)

[Fishcow]

I find this to be the case with most people but I would not go so far as to say that they keep their preferences in a closet. We've all heard innumerable stories of girls/guys realizing their fat admiration for the first time only because their partner brought it up. I think that there are far more people who simply do not realize they are FAs than there are, people in the fat closet.

Since fat admiration is a fetish left over from the millions of years in which it was necessary to be fat in order to survive, one can easily speculate that such a fetish would be incredibly common among us yet dormant more often than not due to social reasons, such as the demand to be thin, our culture, mainstream media, etc.

Fat admirers are to sexual conformists as introverts are to extroverts. Hidden in plain sight and either unrealizing or unwilling to admit that they are FAs.

[SayHelloToMyLittleFriend]

I find this to be the case with most people but I would not go so far as to say that they keep their preferences in a closet. We've all heard innumerable stories of girls/guys realizing their fat admiration for the first time only because their partner brought it up. I think that there are far more people who simply do not realize they are FAs than there are, people in the fat closet.

I think the cases of people genuinely only realizing after being a teenager that they're an FA or whatever are pretty uncommon. Granted, they still exist, but I'd probably put it at 5% of the total number of people who visit sites like Curvage and FF.

It's simply wishful thinking to suppose that there's actually more people who don't know they're FA's than people "in the fat closet" - I imagine 90% of the entire FA world is technically 'in the fat closet,' so we'd be more than doubling our numbers if your claim is true.

[mickloud]

Actually that's what I was referring to. lol. =) Plus for women as well, you see the associations of certain foods representing phallic symbols. Even just saying some words can almost feel like a sexual experience. So it's not surprising that people would have fetishes revolving around food, or anything related to food, IE weight gain, feeding, feeders, stuffing, ect... Plus food is a nurturing thing, it nurtures your body and allows you to live. I actually think it's a lot more common than most people on this forum would think, but because of the fact that for years most nations are so reluctant to really talk about sex or issues around sex, there that whole stigma of "If it's not 'normal sex,' then I can't talk about it because no one would understand."

Or maybe it's just me and I'm just open to these sorts of things... lol

And I'm glad to hear you are comfortable with your fetish and your own sexual needs. =)

It's funny you mention the idea of food having association with genitalia.  Its a pretty mainstream kink among men to be turned on by a girl eating a phallic-shaped food, like a banana.  But for some reason, it has no effect on me.  I seem to be immune to any reference to "normal" sexual things.  But if that same girl had a huge bowl of bananas -- or really, a large amount of any food -- and was clearly planning to eat all of it, I would be instantly turned on by just the thought.  Like you said, talking about things, or just anticipating them is as erotic as actually experiencing them.  Its not so much about what the banana represents, but that it represents something sexy:P

As for the idea of food symbolizing nurturing, I am inclined to agree.  Most FAs don't even consider their preference a fetish, on the grounds that they feel like the women they like are healthier than the twigs that pass for sexy in the mainstream. 

As for my stuffing fetish, I have a hard time pinning down the "fundamentals" of it.  I'm usually turned off by gluttony, but I find the somewhat masochistic and hedonistic quality of overeating to be sexy.  There's also something about it, like the girl is challenging herself with a ridiculous goal, which really turns me on. I really respond when a girl talks about the numbers/amounts involved therein, probably more so than I do to the visual stimuli.  And I prefer women who are thin but slightly chubby, confident/content with their bodies, and generally unwilling to give up food to be skinny, carrying their extra pounds with pride. 

Overall, its almost as if it has nothing to do with food or eating at all, but about the attitude of it... and at the same time I can't think of it separate from food, eating, etc. 

But I digress... I don't want to hijack this thread with my own stories.  I just thought, since topic of porn and masturbation lead into a discussion of porn use "causing" fetishes, I should offer a counter argument to the article Garneau posted.  Ultimately, I seriously doubt fetishes can be "cured" with aversion theory techniques.  And even if they could, I'd be more worried the effects of sexual repression on the mental health of the human race than the effects porn might have to the erectile health of select sample of males who overindulge.

[Ayumi_Chan]

It's funny you mention the idea of food having association with genitalia.  Its a pretty mainstream kink among men to be turned on by a girl eating a phallic-shaped food, like a banana.  But for some reason, it has no effect on me.  I seem to be immune to any reference to "normal" sexual things.  But if that same girl had a huge bowl of bananas -- or really, a large amount of any food -- and was clearly planning to eat all of it, I would be instantly turned on by just the thought.  Like you said, talking about things, or just anticipating them is as erotic as actually experiencing them.  Its not so much about what the banana represents, but that it represents something sexy:P

As for the idea of food symbolizing nurturing, I am inclined to agree.  Most FAs don't even consider their preference a fetish, on the grounds that they feel like the women they like are healthier than the twigs that pass for sexy in the mainstream. 

As for my stuffing fetish, I have a hard time pinning down the "fundamentals" of it.  I'm usually turned off by gluttony, but I find the somewhat masochistic and hedonistic quality of overeating to be sexy.  There's also something about it, like the girl is challenging herself with a ridiculous goal, which really turns me on. I really respond when a girl talks about the numbers/amounts involved therein, probably more so than I do to the visual stimuli.  And I prefer women who are thin but slightly chubby, confident/content with their bodies, and generally unwilling to give up food to be skinny, carrying their extra pounds with pride. 

Overall, its almost as if it has nothing to do with food or eating at all, but about the attitude of it... and at the same time I can't think of it separate from food, eating, etc. 

But I digress... I don't want to hijack this thread with my own stories.  I just thought, since topic of porn and masturbation lead into a discussion of porn use "causing" fetishes, I should offer a counter argument to the article Garneau posted.  Ultimately, I seriously doubt fetishes can be "cured" with aversion theory techniques.  And even if they could, I'd be more worried the effects of sexual repression on the mental health of the human race than the effects porn might have to the erectile health of select sample of males who overindulge.

I think mainly it's not about curing people of fetishes, but making it manageable to where you can still have a healthy sexual relationship with a woman if she likes sex and you genuinely enjoy it as well, as opposed to completely tuning her and her needs out entirely and running through the motions while thinking of nothing but your fetish rather than being in the moment. Or you completely forgo sex and just rely on masturbation and leave your partner with nothing. Ultimately it's about coming to a good compromise that satisfies both partners. =)

[Guest Atlya]

* fap fap fap fap fap ... *

[S77]

Sometimes I look at pictures of skinny chicks just to remember how sexy the curvy/fat chicks are.

[Heart and Mind]

If you like long, long rants, this is your thread.

[mickloud]

If you like long, long rants, this is your thread.

My apologies.

I think mainly it's not about curing people of fetishes, but making it manageable to where you can still have a healthy sexual relationship with a woman if she likes sex and you genuinely enjoy it as well, as opposed to completely tuning her and her needs out entirely and running through the motions while thinking of nothing but your fetish rather than being in the moment. Or you completely forgo sex and just rely on masturbation and leave your partner with nothing. Ultimately it's about coming to a good compromise that satisfies both partners. =)

Good point.  While I am confident in my own sexual identity and wouldn't change it, it has caused me a lot of grief and loneliness.  I generally avoid relationships and sex.  And when I do meet someone who is remotely open to my interests, I have to constantly remind myself not to pressure them with my own interests, and be mindful of theirs.  So you are right... its important to learn to enjoy what your partner likes for the sake of sexual compatibility.

[Heart and Mind]

My apologies.

Im short on time right now, will eventually come back to read the whole thread  ;D

[KFD]

Statistics for KFD:

Total Time Spent Online:7 days, 11 hours and 2 minutes.

Total Posts:682 posts

Total Topics Started:39 topics

Number of Polls Created:0 polls

Number of Votes Cast:0 votes

Number of Children, post 2006: 0.

Date Joined Curvage: Sometime in 2006, I think.

Number of children, pre-Curvage:1.

You might be on to something...

[Heart and Mind]

Why u no vote on polls?  ???

[wilan]

Why u no vote on polls?  ???

He can't make up his mind.

[KFD]

Voting is a waste of time- I am glad Romney didn't win though!

[wilan]

I used to think forums were a waste of time...

[Heart and Mind]

Voting is a waste of time- I am glad Romney didn't win though!

True  :thumbsup: 

Although, i end up voting in every poll i see here ..

[Guest Garneau]

@SayHelloToMyLittleFriend

So basically, you're saying that you believe people have 'aptitudes' toward particular types of fetishes.

Most FAs don't even consider their preference a fetish, on the grounds that they feel like the women they like are healthier than the twigs that pass for sexy in the mainstream. 

Come the fuck on.

"Twigs" are pretty much a niche interest. Most men prefer women of average size. Look it up. 

Most FAs don't even consider their preference a fetish, on the grounds that they feel like the women they like are healthier than the twigs that pass for sexy in the mainstream. 

Come the fuck on.

"Twigs" are pretty much a niche interest. Most men prefer women of average size. Look it up. 

[KFD]

When was the last time your buddies ribbed you because of your choice in women. Yes, we are instinctually driven towards the size twelves and such, but we are still the outcasts. If we were mainstream, would this site exist!? Compare Megan Fox, Brooklyn Decker, or any starlet to a girl guys fawn over here. Come the fuck on (just not on me, please).

[SayHelloToMyLittleFriend]

There's a big difference between us FA's and 'normal' guys who like size 10-12 girls. However you cut it, virtually everyone here would at least be okay with fucking a 300+ pound girl. Most of us also like bellies as much as breasts. That's a fetish, gentlemen.

Secondly, I don't think people who likes twigs are a niche group - they're exactly the fucking same people who like the size 12 girls. Because guess what? even non-FAs can have a bit of range in their tastes regarding weight. Just because we're not one of them doesn't mean we can allow ourselves to shoehorn non-FA tastes in the same way that they sometimes shoehorn our tastes.

Basically, most other guys would fuck Nigella Lawson (which we FA's might consider something of a common ground) but they're also not lying when they say they think Megan Fox is hot. Would they still like her 20 pounds heavier? Maybe, but certainly not as much as we would.

@SayHelloToMyLittleFriend

So basically, you're saying that you believe people have 'aptitudes' toward particular types of fetishes.

I'm saying that some fetishes (particularly those involving paraphernalia/objects) are clearly sub-denominations of larger fetishes, and that it's confusing to use that word 'fetish' for both. No one is born thinking food is inherently sexy, but a fat fetish (perhaps a pregnancy one, too) will trigger the sexual association. So it's an 'aptitude' in that the 'core' fetish (fat, in this case) creates an opening for 'sub-fetishes' built around things that can't be programmed into our nature (specific types of situations involving food, scenarios and other objects that might emphasize in our mind the core thing we like - fat).

Another to look at it is like this: all sexual fantasies involve scenarios - I've never heard of someone so boring that their fantasies just take place in a blank space without any context. But of course, the scenario alone isn't attractive, just like handcuffs in and of themselves aren't attractive to BDSMers. But when you combine the scenario/object with the thing (a type of person) that you do find attractive (in our case a fat girl) it can heighten the appeal. So it's a horse and cart thing - the core fetish always involves a person directly - they might be fat, transgender, underage, whatever - and then there's a sub-fetish(es) that can work in conjunction with the core fetish, but never as a standalone thing. These sub-fetishes can involve inanimate objects and scenarios that might be purely cultural and social, and cannot be innate.