This has to Stop

[GeorgeB]

As soon as Eric and his wife arrived at the party, but before he could make the rounds of his guests with her, Nancy headed straight to the buffet tables. For the next two hours, as Eric cultivated the crowd, Nancy cultivated the feast.

Eric's law firm had gone all out and the choices ranged from barbequed free-range chicken, to beef tenderloin medallions, to various pastas, to a whole table of different types of cheeses and pate. There were wonderful breads and a wide assortment of pastries and desserts. But despite this elaborate and generous array, most of the guests were too busy talking and drinking to really take advantage of the food. At times during the evening, Nancy had the entire cornucopia to herself.

Eric moved from group to group congratulating the new partners, chatting with his friends, and reminding everyone, with his charm and clever repartee, why he was the firm's chief rainmaker.

Nancy moved from table to table helping herself to generous portions from the various platters and chafing dishes, carefully bypassing the dessert trays which she figured to attend to at the end of the evening. After completing her first round clockwise, Nancy reversed direction and repeated her feast in reverse, moving counter-clockwise. This time she knew to skip the so-so linguini but to double up on the just perfect lasagna. She worked deliberately and slowly but with an easy fluid motion, finishing one serving from her plate just in time to refill at the next table. Nancy seemed to be eating with an obstinate devotion to consumption. It was as if she was making an effort to ingest as much as possible in a restricted time but knew to pace herself so that her ingestion could be continuous. She seemed oblivious to how obscene her behavior appeared to the room full of her husband's partners, clients, and employees. Or maybe she knew exactly how it looked.

Finally, Eric walked over to make her stop. "Can't you do something other than eat? You haven't opened your mouth since we got here except to put something in it" he had whispered harshly. "Watching you fill and refill your plate is gross."

She swung her wide, round face into his and, with her mouth still full, sputtered, "I told you I didn't want to come here. You insisted."

"That's still no reason for you to try and embarrass me. You could just pretend to be pleasant and talk with some of the people who know you. You could have gotten me through this with a minimum of humiliation." Eric took a clean napkin and blotted sauce from his wife's chin, "Everyone's stopped believing that your sick every time there is something social that we're supposed to do together. I'm tired of trying to explain why you never show up. The way you look makes things difficult enough. You don't have to make things worse by standing at the buffet and gorging yourself publicly."

"Well, I came. Your partners and friends have seen me. If my social responsibilities are complete, maybe I should leave," she taunted. Eric startled Nancy by agreeing that this was a good idea. "But I didn't get to have any dessert," she blurted, surprising herself how much she sounded like a spoiled child. Eric shuddered at the thought.

Taking Nancy's elbow firmly, Eric walked her out of the room. Nancy could feel the substantial quantity of food sloshing in her gut as she walked. Walking down the stairs, comfort dictated that she steady her distended belly with her hands. Helping her into her coat, Eric asked the doorman to get her a cab. "Let me get back upstairs. I don't want to fight with you now. We can talk when I get home. This is getting to be too much for me."

Nancy watched as Eric trotted back up the stairs to the reception leaving her with the doorman. She knew he was eager to return to his scene. After all, this party was to welcome his assistant as a newly made partner. Eric took pride in the fact that Lisa had made partner in record time under his guidance. With the way that Lisa had blossomed and seemed to float around Eric, Nancy wondered if his mentorship was limited to the business of law.

As she slid onto the cool bench seat in the back of the cab, Nancy felt relief finally being able to sit down. She had been standing at the buffet for more than two hours and, since she had put on so much extra weight, standing for long periods of time caused her feet to swell and her back to ache. Even sitting after eating the equivalent of a dinner for six could be discomforting. She settled back into the seat and tried to relax for the ride home by herself. Driving through the city night with a light rain falling, Nancy began to drift off. She gently massaged her massive belly to try and ease the pressure imposed by her binge. Slowly, as she was able to work some of the gas out of her guts, she began to feel more comfortable. Confused, the cabby rolled down his window.

As the cab started to turn the corner onto her street, Nancy leaned forward and told the cabby, "You can let me out here. I need to pick up a few things at the all night market."

After having successfully disembarked his wife without a major scene, Eric walked up to the bar and fixed himself a fresh drink. His partner Dennis and Dennis's wife came over. "Nancy have to leave?" asked Dennis.

"She wasn't feeling well." answered Eric surveying the room.

"Maybe it was something she ate," mused Dennis's wife Trisha. Dennis shot his wife a critical look but Eric was already moving across the floor to where Lisa was laughing with a friend.

As he walked up, Lisa gave him a smile that said, "You poor guy. You shouldn't have to put up with your wife's crazy nonsense. I understand."

* * *

By the time Eric got home from the party, it was well after midnight. He was still angry from the way his wife had performed in front of the people that he had to work with everyday. Eric took his image seriously and he was aggravated that his "other half" had turned into an unseemly, ungainly, eating machine who was a few solid binges past no longer being able to weigh herself on their scale which registered up to 300 lbs. He knew that, the next day at the office, no one would even mention the party in front of him to avoid further embarrassment, which would be even more humiliating. This had to stop.

As he walked past her bedroom, Eric could hear the sounds of Nancy snoring. After one of her eating escapades, sleeping with pressure on her swollen stomach was physically painful. To try and make herself more comfortable, she would prop herself up with pillows so that she could sleep half sitting which seemed to reduce the strain on her bloated belly. With the extra fat around her neck and the heaviness of her chest, buttressed in this position, Nancy would snore through the night. She was suffering from sleep apnea, which her doctor attributed primarily to her having gained so much weight. This caused Nancy to stop breathing for brief moments several times during the night. She would then gasp her next breath in a snort which would disturb her sleep. While she wouldn't remember this in the morning, it was one of the reasons that she always felt exhausted.

Eric went into the kitchen to get himself a glass of water. Sitting on the counter was a box with two out of twelve doughnuts remaining. In disgust, he opened the garbage to get rid of the box before these last two could find their way into his wife's mouth. At the top of the garbage was an empty pie tin and an empty pint of ice cream. Eric thought it’s a wonder that his wife doesn't die from insulin shock or even explode. After stuffing herself at the buffet, she had still felt the need to stop at the market on the way home and pick up an arsenal of desserts with which to assault herself. She would not be denied.

Although repulsed by the thoughts of his wife's behavior, Eric figured he had better look in on Nancy to make sure she was all right. He checked her pulse and her breathing was slow and steady. Her clothes were strewn cross the floor and she was still wearing her bathrobe. Eric figured that she had just made it into bed before passing out. Otherwise, he figured, the two doughnuts wouldn't have been left sitting in the box on the counter.

Looking at this behemoth supported by her throne of pillows, with her distended gut rolling with her labored breathing, Eric shook his head sadly. Somewhere in there was the woman that he had loved and married seven years earlier. Unfortunately, it seemed as if he could no longer see her or make contact with her. It was as if she had been slowly consumed over the past two years by this other creature. This had to stop.

Eric headed into guest room where he had been sleeping for almost a year: There had been an argument; he had moved into the guest room; and neither one of them had made any effort to change this arrangement. Their sex life no longer existed. The last time they had tried to make love was the same night that Eric began sleeping in the guest room. Since that night, they had been in a holding pattern. They tried to get along to the extent that their relationships to the outside world remained stable.

Eric and Nancy both had their careers and were both successful. It was just that they no longer seemed to be able to connect with each other. Eric was busy with his law practice; was comfortable financially; and he was ready for children. Nancy was busy with her investment management business; was more than comfortable financially; and she refused to even talk about children. Instead, she ate.

* * *

Nancy and Eric became engaged the summer after he had graduated from Columbia Law as soon as his position with a prestigious midtown Manhattan law firm had been secured. Nancy already had a job with a small investment firm that concentrated on managing the financial portfolio for one family with real money. They had gotten married that September and quickly moved into the fast lane as a dynamic couple.

When Eric met Nancy she was a tall, statuesque, dark-haired beauty. Her family was from outside Philadelphia and she had been raised in easy privilege. She was comfortable in social settings and carried herself with an athletic confidence.

In part as a concession to her family's interests, Nancy had committed herself to the world of business. To accomplish this she had to make sacrifices in her real passion which was painting. In college, Nancy had tried to balance her artistic desires with a solid business education. By the time she received her MBA, the pursuit of her artistic self-expression had been relegated to being a hobby.

As soon as Nancy and Eric moved into their apartment on Central Park West after the wedding, Nancy had converted one of the bedrooms into her studio. Eric liked the fact that Nancy was artistic, but he had little actual interest in her paintings. His approach to life was deductive and he found Nancy's intuitive muse confusing. While he didn't discourage her from painting in her free time, the demands of her work and of their social schedule left her little time to paint and her studio would go for months without use. Occasionally, Nancy would make the effort to give time for her art but, without any support and with so many distractions, she never seemed to be able to get into a consistent rhythm of painting.

Other than not being able to paint, the first five years of their marriage had been relatively ideal. It was only after Eric began talking about having kids that the problems started. Eric had always intended to have three kids and he felt ready. He had planned to space them two years apart.

"You're twenty-nine and I'm thirty. I'm not talking biological clock but I think its time we got started," he had proposed.

Nancy also had always figured that she would have children but somehow it was always something she perceived in the future. Eric was talking about Nancy actually getting pregnant. Now. She felt pressured by the suggestion. "I had figured that we would get a house first and get ourselves settled before we started a family."

"We already are a family. It's just that now it's time to add kids," Eric suggested.

Nancy had always found solace in food and she tended towards emotional eating. Whether she was happy or sad, frustrated, elated, or depressed, she would often turn to food as a reward or distraction. Still, she had never had a weight problem and had always kept herself in excellent shape with diet and exercise.

The issue of children became a difficulty between them and Nancy was unsettled by the conflicts she felt within herself. They began to argue and Nancy often felt depressed and alienated. When Eric first began his campaign for children, Nancy was a muscular, well-conditioned 130 lbs. At 5’-9", she had a fluid way of moving with confidence that men found attractive and less physical women envied.

As the pressure over children increased, Nancy too often found herself swallowing her feelings with food. Depressed and less sure of herself, she also had more difficulty maintaining her exercise regime. Any bad habits she had enjoyed before, succumbing to her healthy appetites, had been kept in check by a rigorous program of aerobics, yoga, and the gym. In the past, Nancy had often found taking an exercise class during lunch more relaxing.

As the problems with Eric intensified, Nancy no longer seemed to have the energy to maintain her previous dedication to physique. Her appetite seemed to increase as her lunch hours were less often spent exercising. Previous quick bites of a salad for lunch were replaced by full fledged meals at a restaurant or a thick hero sandwich at her desk in the office. At first Nancy felt like she was pampering herself; compensating for the alienation she was feeling from her husband. Feeling lonely? A pastry in the morning. Tense in the middle of the day? A rich dessert with lunch. Upset that Eric seemed distant on the phone? An ice cream treat on the way home from work.

At first, the changes in Nancy's habits were minor and the impact on her body still relatively inconsequential; nothing that a quick diet and resumption of her exercise program couldn't cure. She felt less energetic and she could tell that she had gained a few pounds by the fact that some of her clothes were getting too snug. But otherwise, her worries about her body were focused only on the issue of her issue. Nancy was surprised and confused about her fear of getting pregnant. Was she concerned about the actual function of having a child or was she afraid of the changes she knew having kids would demand in her life? Or was it both?

Nancy's efforts to communicate her fears to Eric were a disaster. He couldn't understand what she was talking about and he began to treat her as if her reluctance to get pregnant was somehow a reflection on her feelings for him. Frustrated with her attitude, Eric was distant to Nancy and she began to feel alone. As Eric's disappointment in his wife's hesitation increased, he began to stay later at the office and seemed to share less with her when they were together.

While Eric probably perceived Nancy's physical transformation as gradual, taking the better part of a year, Nancy thought of the change in her life as having occurred almost overnight and she could pin point the day.

It was on her thirtieth birthday. Nancy had planned a quiet evening alone with Eric and she was actually preparing to discuss children with an open mind. As she was getting ready for work, she was having trouble with the zipper on her skirt and asked Eric for help. As Nancy sucked in her stomach, he forced the skirt closed. Just as soon as the zipper was up, the seam on her skirt split. "Splitting the seams on your clothes is nature's way of telling you to stop eating," Eric had joked. Something in the way he had said this struck Nancy as not being funny.

As Nancy changed into a less confining outfit, Eric began to criticize the way she looked. "It seems like your really starting to let yourself go," he started in. "When I married you, I assumed that keeping yourself in shape was as important to you as to me."

Nancy was unprepared for a new confrontation. Particularly another one that had her body as the battleground.

But that evening, Nancy got home early and proceeded with her plans despite the morning argument. She prepared a gourmet meal of chicken breasts sauteed with tomatoes and peppers, fresh pasta, and a strawberry shortcake which she planned to serve with fresh strawberries and whipped cream. This was one of Eric's favorite meals and, while it was her birthday, she was making an effort to fix things between them.

The meal was timed to be ready at 8:00 which would be convenient for when Eric got home from work. At 9:00 with no sign of Eric she called his office and found out that he had gone out for a drink after work with several people from the office. She checked the answering machine which had been blinking since she got home with what she anticipated as being happy birthday messages from her family and friends. The third message was from Eric. "I'll be home a little later. We're going out to celebrate a new account over a few drinks. I'll call if I'm going to be late." No "happy birthday." No "I love you."

At 10:00, Nancy sat down at the table and served herself dinner - alone. Sitting alone on her birthday with her husband out with his friends from the office. Nancy began to cry. Without really thinking about it, she finished the dinner she had made for the two of them and started in on the cake. Without any pattern, she cut hunks of cake and simply dipped them into the bowl of whipped cream as tears rolled down her hot flushed cheeks. Methodically, after finishing the cake and the strawberries, she ate the remaining whipped cream out of the bowl with a spoon.

Eric walked in as Nancy began to clear the table. He seemed to know exactly what she had just done. Instead of apologizing to her for standing her up on her birthday, Eric began to berate her. "I can't believe your this out of control. Just this morning we were talking about the fact that your getting chunky. Now, tonight you reward yourself with a feast? What are you trying to do?"

Nancy tried to answer but didn't know what to say. She wanted to be mad at him but instead he was making her feel guilty. "This wouldn't have happened, if you had come home for dinner," she cried.

"Is that supposed to be an excuse?" he scoffed. She could smell the alcohol on his breath. "Look at yourself in the mirror," he said pushing her into the dressing room. Eric turned up the lights and forced Nancy to strip out of her clothes. Standing her in front of the mirror, Eric made Nancy take full stock of her body. Nancy couldn't deny that her body was fuller and rounder with a sincere belly. Still she didn't look so bad and argued that Eric was being unfair. "My bikinis would be a problem right now but it's not as if I'm a blimp."

Eric responded, "Your clothes don't fit; you split the zipper on your skirt this morning and that skirt was too loose on you a few months ago. You've stopped exercising and tonight, judging from the number of plates and mess in the kitchen, you had a little food orgy." Eric took a handful of the growing roll of soft flesh on her back. "I'll agree your not really fat yet, but I'm worried about your lack of concern for yourself and self-control. I’ve seen what can happen when a woman starts to let herself go."

It wasn't the words but the tone of Eric's voice that made Nancy think that his concern had less to do with how Nancy felt than with how it affected him.

Eric's emotional assault on Nancy that evening was made complete when he compelled her to get on the scale. Even Nancy was startled when the needle came to rest at 159 lbs. "I don't think we need to talk about this anymore," Eric concluded. "Obviously, your diet starts tomorrow." Nancy couldn't disagree. A weight gain of almost 30 pounds in less than six months had gotten her attention.

As they got into bed that evening, Eric patted Nancy's plump ass and said, "Don't worry, Hon, I'm sure you won't have any problem getting back into shape. It will just take a little discipline."

Eric pulled Nancy close to him and began to tickle her cunny and caress the crease where her crotch and thighs met while he kissed her. Now Nancy felt distant. How could Eric feel like making love to her after he had just gotten finished exposing her to her physical imperfections. Nancy didn't object to his advances and fell into her normal pattern. She made all the right sounds and, assuming he had properly demonstrated his manhood, Eric came. Even though he was drifting off to sleep with his arms wrapped around her, Nancy felt alone. As she was falling asleep, she realized that he never had wished her a happy birthday.

The next morning Nancy started her diet. For the first couple of days, she was diligent with her new regime. Too quickly, though, Eric seemed satisfied - as if his little scene with Nancy that one night had achieved its desired affect. She was under control and he was pleased.

Waking up one morning near the end of her first week on her new diet, Nancy felt Eric take her hand and guide it to his crotch where she found his stiff cock. Obliging, she climbed up on top of him and slid into position - his cock slipping neatly into her cunny. As she worked her regular rhythm, Eric asked, "Are you still taking the pill?" The question startled Nancy and she stopped in mid-stroke.

"Did you think I had gone off the pill?"

"I was just wondering where we stand on the issue," Eric answered.

"I'm still on the pill." Nancy quickened her pace and concentrated on the muscles in her cunny. She slid her hands under Eric and grabbed his ass. Squeezing tight, she literally forced Eric to come. As soon as he was done, Nancy rolled off leaving Eric prostrate on his back in the bed. She headed quickly into the bathroom and turned on the shower. "I have a meeting this morning and I don't want to be late," she lied.

Nancy really didn't feel like she had caught her breath until she was out of the apartment. Somehow Eric's question had unhinged her. It wasn't even as if he was trying to make a point. Just suggesting the issue had been enough to upset Nancy. As she walked into the office, her secretary, Melanie, sensed she was upset. Melanie followed Nancy into her office and shut the door behind her. "What's up Boss? You look hot and bothered."

Nancy told Melanie most of the story. "You’ve got to stay true to yourself," Melanie responded. "Eric can be overbearing. Don't let him push you where you don't want to go. What good does it do him for you to get pregnant if you don't feel ready to raise a kid."

Nancy knew Melanie was speaking from experience and appreciated having someone to spill her guts to. This helped clear her head and they both got to work.

After a busy morning, Melanie ducked into Nancy's office. "You want to head out for some lunch?"

"I ate my diet ration at around 11:30," Nancy replied.

"Come on. You could use some TLC. Join me for lunch and we can talk" Melanie cajoled Nancy.

Nancy begged off and, to strengthen her resolve, placed a call to Eric. Eric's secretary came on the line, "He's out to lunch with Lisa, Nancy. Any message?"

Nancy though for a moment about her commitment to the new regime and the way that Eric seemed to have so little understanding of her real feelings. "I'll be with you in a minute," she called to Melanie.

Nancy and Melanie got a table at the pub across the street. Nancy had figured to order a salad but changed her mind after Melanie had ordered the cheeseburger deluxe platter and a beer and order, "Same for me." Melanie smiled the smile of a co-conspirator.

"Is this diet your idea too or just Eric's?" asked Melanie.

"Eric's the impetus but I have to admit that I am feeling pretty porky. I didn't let Eric know it but I split the crotch in my jeans last Saturday and that leaves me with only one pair which are physically painful to wear."

"Nancy, fuck Eric. Your jeans are too tight? You buy new jeans," was Melanie's reply. Nancy knew that Melanie believed this. While Melanie was attractive, she had a figure that demonstrated self-indulgence.

When they got back to the office, there was a message that Eric had returned Nancy's call. She called Eric back. "I don't understand. You were out to lunch?" grilled Eric.

"I don't understand. You were out to lunch with Lisa?" countered Nancy.

"Don't get silly. That was business. I thought you brought your lunch. Did you eat?"

"Not really," Nancy lied. "I just had a small salad."

"Well keep up the good work. You looked better this morning. Less puffy." Nancy didn't like the smug tone in Eric's voice.

"Don't forget. I won't be home until late tonight," Nancy reminded Eric. "I have a late meeting and then I'm going to dinner with the Ziffs."

"Why do you think I jumped your bones this morning. Call me if your going to later than 10:30," he asked.

Nancy spent the rest of the afternoon putting together her presentation. At 5:30, her associate, Charley, brought his papers into her office. "Did you want to grab a bite before the meeting?" Charley asked.

Even though she knew she shouldn't, Nancy agreed to a quick dinner. She figured that she could use the energy. "We can stop somewhere on our way downtown."

Even though she wasn't really hungry, Nancy ordered a full dinner and finished every bite. She even had the waiter bring a second basket of bread after she polished off the first one.

"I'm not used to a woman with a healthy appetite," Charley commented. Somehow, the way he said this sounded like a complement. "My girlfriend treats eating as a chore," he said sadly.

"Well, I really haven't had anything to eat all day," Nancy explained. "I wouldn't want to pass out in the middle of our meeting."

It turned out that, even if Nancy had starved all day, this wouldn't have been a problem. The Ziffs had an assortment of neat little hors d’oeuvres laid out for their meeting. As they worked through the papers, Nancy picked absentmindedly from the tray. Suddenly, she was aware that Charley had been watching her nibble and she blushed.

"I'm sorry for keeping you so late." Peter Ziff apologized. "I know your probably hungry. Can you join us for dinner?"

Charley turned to Nancy and answered, "Sounds great to me. How about you Nanc?" Nancy agreed to go along just to put the final touches on her recommendations. She was puzzled that Charley would agree to go to dinner with the Ziffs so quickly and would assume to include her since he was well aware she had finished a full meal before the meeting.

They went to a great Italian restaurant known for being part of the scene with models and movie stars. The waiter approached the table and started to take their orders. Charley deferred to Nancy with the encouragement, "I know you didn’t have a chance to get lunch today, you were so busy getting ready for tonight’s meeting. What looks good to you?" Nancy was confused as to what Charley was trying to do. She looked at him to see if he was somehow making fun of her but he just smiled and said, "I hear that the fresh pasta here is great."

With the waiter standing next to her, Nancy surprised herself by ordering an interesting sounding tomato and basil pasta dish to go along with the red wine that had been ordered for the table. The garlic bread was terrific.

The Ziffs offered Charley and Nancy a ride home in their limo. Since the Ziffs lived downtown and Nancy lived uptown, the Ziffs got dropped of first. Once they were alone in the limo together, Nancy grilled Charley about why he had trapped her into having a second dinner. She tried to make it sound as if she had only ordered dinner with the Ziffs to be polite. Charley responded with a smile, "You may have ordered to be polite but you ate because you were hungry."

"You know I couldn’t have been hungry," Nancy retorted, "I had dinner with you!"

"There are different kinds of hungry," Charley answered. "Besides, watching you eat the hors d’oeuvres at the meeting let me know you still had an appetite."

"I don’t think I’m comfortable with you paying attention to my appetite," Nancy challenged. "I think that’s a little weird."

"Melanie told me that your going through some hassle with Eric," Charley offered. "I just thought it might be nice for you to have a little encouragement," Charley answered.

"Encouragement? What the hell kind of encouragement? To eat two dinners when I had no business having one?" Nancy was aggravated but not really angry. After all, Charley had done nothing but give Nancy the latitude.

"Not everyone plays into the ‘you have to be anorexic to be beautiful’ game," Charley explained. "Did you see those girls sitting at the table across from us? Obviously models, Obviously starving themselves for some imagined concept of beauty. The only problem is, women aren’t supposed to look like that."

Nancy was surprised by Charley’s intensity but continued, "I don’t think anyone could confuse me as being anorexic. I’ve eaten my way out of most of my wardrobe and I’m on my way to eating myself out of my marriage. Eric’s right, I should be on a strict diet. Eric doesn’t share your attitude that ample flesh is the beauty of woman."

"That’s his problem," Charley laughed.

Pulling up in front of Charley’s apartment, Nancy tried to get back on equal footing, "What. Are you one of those guys from the talk show circuit who are into distortion?" Nancy joked.

"Distortion implies defective or abnormal." Charley answered with more sincerity than Nancy expected. "More than half of the woman in the U.S. are a size 14 or larger. I’ll admit I am not turned off by a woman whose body looks like a woman’s. I’ll even admit that maybe I’m turned on by a woman who has an appetite. Who’s sensual pleasure for eating is more powerful than her self-control."

Maybe it was the wine, but all Nancy could offer in response was, "Oh, my!"

As Charley stepped out of the limo, he turned back to Nancy and offered, "I’ve known you for a couple of years, now. I don’t know what’s going on between you and Eric but I know that you haven’t seemed yourself for a while. We work together, so I want to be careful, but if you need to talk, I’d like to be a friend and I am wiling to listen."

Nancy watched as Charley walked into his building. She realized that she wasn’t thinking of him romantically or as somebody that she worked with but as a guy who was being nice to her. She started to think about how Eric really hadn’t been nice to her for awhile and then she started to question whether he had ever been "nice" to her and then she started to wonder how he would react to her if she became one of those women who wore a size 14 or larger. She realized that, in her current condition, she really wasn’t that far off. With that days consumption of food, she figured that she had probably undone any progress she had made since starting her diet. Her size 10 clothes had become impractical, with seams splitting, and even her size 12s were getting tight. Another ten pounds and she would be into 14s.

As she rode alone in the limo, she did the math. Calculating roughly, she tried to figure out how many calories she had consumed during the day. Restaurants are tricky. A meal could be 1000 calories or 2000 calories depending on how much food was on the plate and how it had been prepared. At any rate, she knew that whatever weight had been lost in four days had probably been regained in one. If 3500 calories equaled one pound, then 35,000 calories was ten pounds. She wondered how hard it would be to consume an extra 35,000 calories, if she tried. Was it possible to eat that much extra in one week? 5,000 extra calories a day? In a month, it was only a little more than 1,000 extra calories a day; one Big Mac and fries extra each day and she’d be a size 14 in less than a month. An extra 350 in the morning at work five days a week, which is only a Danish and not even really trying, and in one year she would gain about 25 pounds. That could even push her past a 14. Nancy realized that this shouldn’t surprise her since she had already managed to gain about 30 pounds in six months without even thinking about it. Nancy began to wonder how anyone could be less than a size 14 if two extra snacks a day could be the difference of her weighing 130 or 170.

The limo hit a pot hole and Nancy felt all of the food bounce in her gut. She rubbed her hand on her belly and realized that what had felt relatively flat that morning now had a pronounced roundness. She started to worry whether Eric would be able to tell the minute he saw her. She asked the limo driver drop her ten blocks short of her street. Nancy figured that maybe a short walk could help.

Walking up Amsterdam Avenue, Nancy wasn’t really tempted by the first Haagen Daz ice cream store, but she didn't make it past the second. She rationalized that if she had failed on her diet for a day, she might as well make the best of it. She ordered a two scoop sundae. And she enjoyed it.

* * *

Nancy was able to deceive Eric for a couple of days by claiming that she was getting her period. She still made a show of being on her diet at breakfast and dinner but compensated during the day. Melanie seemed to enjoy the game and began making sure that there was always a selection of coffee cakes and doughnuts available. Nancy wasn't really trying to eat but she knew she wasn't really trying to diet and she always seemed hungry.

At the end of the next week, Eric began to get suspicious. Nancy had been careful to only wear loose fitting outfits and, while he hadn't expected her to get thin overnight, he thought she actually seemed to be getting chubbier. She ate very little in front of him and he knew she was exercising because that was why she was getting home an hour later than usual every day.

For two days he tried to get Nancy to weigh herself to check her progress. On Saturday morning, they were straightening up the apartment together and Eric slipped up behind Nancy as she was beginning to make the bed. His amorous interests were put on hold when he wrapped his arms around her and felt the distinct bulge of her distended belly. Suddenly, it all made sense to him: Nancy must be pregnant.

"Honey, is there something you've been meaning to tell me?" he asked enthusiastically.

Eric's bubble burst when Nancy started to cry. She admitted that she hadn't really been dieting. At least not the way he thought. Eric was confused. And then angry. "What's going on, Nancy?"

"I really don't know," she answered. "All I know is that I'm not pregnant and I'm not really trying to lose weight and I don't want to and I really don't care what you think."

Eric tried to pull Nancy close but she twisted out of his arms. She didn't feel like being held and she didn't want him taking inventory of her chubbier body with his hands. "I need some space."

"What about your sessions at the gym?"

"I haven’t been to the gym all week. I was stopping for a bite to eat on my way home," Nancy answered with spite.

Eric began to realize that in order to maintain the image that she was dieting, Nancy had actually been eating two dinners: one by herself and then a second with him. Obviously, he would have become suspicious if Nancy didn't eat any dinner with him when she got home.

"I have to assume, then, that you haven't lost any weight at all."

"Oh, God, Eric! You just don't fucking get it. How much do I weigh? I don't fucking know. And I really don't care. Here. This means something to you? Let's see. How much does your pig of a wife weigh?" Nancy stepped into the bathroom and stood on the scale. When the numbers stopped going back and forth, she reported, "164 pounds. I've been dieting for almost two weeks and I've gained five pounds. You wanted me thin and I've gotten fatter. Do you think we have a problem?"

Eric was stunned and didn't know what to say. "I know we have a problem. I'm still trying to figure out what it really is. Since when don't you care about being in shape. It's not like I'm making a big deal out of you gaining a few pounds. You’re having trouble fitting into your clothes. You've gained more than 30 pounds in a half a year. And you've been pretending to be on a diet while eating meals in secret. It's like your doing this on purpose. This has to stop."

"Why?" asked Nancy.

"Because its not healthy. Because I can't believe that your happy this way. Because I think your sexier when your thinner. Don't you?"

"I haven't felt sexy in a while," Nancy replied. "But that has nothing to do with my fat ass." Nancy was surprised by the anger in her voice. She felt like she was making an accusation but she wasn't sure what it was about. She wiped the tears from her eyes. "I think we need to talk with somebody."

Eric walked out of the bathroom and pulled the door closed softly behind him which left Nancy staring at herself in the full length mirror - alone. She did look heavier but still within the acceptable range. At 5'-9" and 164, she actually wasn't even technically overweight.

The rest of the evening was quiet. Nancy and Eric were both trying to be calm and courteous but they both felt estranged. Eric got into bed first and turned on the news. As Nancy was getting ready for bed, he pretended to read. He watched her over the top of his book. Somehow he felt like this was a different person from the Nancy that he knew. He didn't feel comfortable. He didn’t like feeling like he had lost control. They fell asleep together that night, but apart.

After that night, Nancy decided that Eric was not going to control her and that she was not going to be his preconceived vision of either woman or motherhood. It turned out to be the same as her deciding that she really wasn’t going to be his wife.

For the next several weeks, Eric would make his efforts to convince Nancy that she should be on a diet, that she should be exercising, or that they should be talking about her getting pregnant. Nancy’s favorite response became finding something to put in her mouth.

Eric would criticize Nancy for pigging out the night before and she would respond with a three egg omelet with sausage for breakfast. Eric would point out with disgust the growing roll of fat bulging out over the top of her jeans and she would answer silently by consuming columns of cookies as she watched television. Her answer to his pleading that she stop gorging on pastries at work would be to order a large pizza with extra cheese as a snack before bed. It took Eric less than a month to stop thinking that he had any control in this relationship. It took Nancy just about a month test the seams on her new size 14 clothes. It took just slightly more than a month for them to have the argument that ended their sharing the same bedroom.

While Nancy had dropped all pretense about losing weight and had grown comfortable, or even enjoyed, eating in front of Eric, Eric still hoped that this was some bizarre phase that would quickly wear itself out. The reality that this was a long term commitment for Nancy came about six weeks after she admitted to Eric that she had stopped dieting on the weekend of their anniversary.

Eric came home from work with flowers and tickets to a popular Broadway show that he knew Nancy would enjoy. He had consciously been trying to stay calm for about a week and had not commented on her figure or criticized Nancy for her eating. Nancy got home from work and changed for their evening out. She wore a pants suit with an elastic waist that was already tight even though she had bought the outfit only a couple of weeks before. Still, if someone didn’t realize how dramatically her body had changed in a short period of time, Nancy’s appearance was still stylish.

Unfortunately, Eric was fully aware of Nancy’s transformation and it was with all restraint that he avoided commenting on her burgeoning figure. Even her face had changed with a softer chin line and fuller cheeks. As they walked into the theater, Eric saw their reflection in the mirrored lobby and if he hadn’t known better he would have assumed that the person next to him in was only someone who bore a slight resemblance to his wife. This bloated woman with a thickening waist, bulging belly, and broad ass was not the woman married to him.

Still he was determined that this was going to be a good evening and maybe then this nonsense would stop and Nancy would return. This had to stop.

Everything went well. The show was good and they had an interesting discussion about the characters in the play. They went to dinner afterwards and Nancy ordered a reasonable, almost low calorie, meal. Eric even asked for the dessert menu and was pleasantly surprised when Nancy declined. They got home and got ready for bed.

Everything went well until Eric started to caress Nancy. Nancy could feel Eric tense as his hands followed the haunch at the top of her hips into the fold of fat on her back. Hugging, Nancy could sense Eric’s awareness of her protruding gut which now separated his crotch from hers. She understood that he could not touch any part of her without feeling something familiar which was now distorted. She could feel his disappointment even in her breasts which now were more affected by gravity due to their increased mass. Still he said nothing and continued to rub her and hug her and kiss her. The only thing he didn’t seem ready to do was make love to her. They were laying on their bed and he was making the effort but they weren’t making love.

"Maybe you’re just tired?" Nancy attempted as she ran her fingers along his half-hard cock. Nancy went down on Eric which seemed to increase his enthusiasm but when she lay back so that he could enter her, as he concentrated on finding his way to her cunny, which was now almost concealed by her thick thighs and distended belly, he lost his erection. Eric lay down next to Nancy and ran his fingers over her body. She closed her eyes and concentrated on his touch.

Eric followed the bulges and rolls of this body which he no longer recognized. As he touched the flesh of her belly, he was struck by the tightness of her skin which had not had the chance to grow flabby with the rapid expansion of her bulk. To his hands, Nancy’s body felt inflated: as though some hose had been attached to her body which someone had forgotten to turn off in time. He couldn’t help thinking of her body as some fruit left to ripen too long on the vine which was ready to split open in the warm sun. As Nancy lay on her back with her eyes closed waiting for Eric to make love to her, Eric allowed his eyes to trace the folds of her swollen body. Maybe to someone else this would be sensual. Maybe to someone else Nancy’s new plumpness would evoke arousal. Maybe someone else would lose themselves in the soft roundness of Nancy’s body. But not Eric. All Eric could think of was that his wife had really gotten fat.

"What have you done to yourself?" Eric asked shaking his head sadly. "You were so beautiful."

Startled by the tone in Eric’s voice, Nancy opened her eyes and looked at Eric. Seeing the way that he was looking at her, tears started to form in her eyes.

"I don’t feel like I know you anymore," he said. "This has to stop."

"I am the same person I have always been," was Nancy’s reply. "If you can’t love me now, you never loved me."

Eric got up from the bed and left the room. From that night on, Eric slept in the other bedroom.

After Eric had left the room and closed the door, the tears started rolling down Nancy’s cheeks and she cried herself to sleep. In the middle of the night, she woke up to use the bathroom. As she turned on the light, she saw her reflection in the mirror. Even though she had gained almost sixty pounds in less than a year, she was struck by the fact that her body really didn’t look bad. It was true that she looked much fuller, but the difference was almost subtle. Her belly stuck out more, but this was balanced by her now ample ass. Her hips were more distinct and her torso seemed to be competing for space around her waist. Her breasts were rounder and less pert but still very familiar. She felt disappointed that the changes in her body that had driven her husband from their bed lacked real girth and density. She got her dictionary and as she sat on the toilet, she looked up the work "diet:" "A regimen of eating and drinking prescribed to effect changes in health or appearance."

After she got back into bed, Nancy started to run the numbers again. She calculated that her body needed somewhere between 12 and 15 calories a day to maintain its weight. At more than 175 lbs., she needed to consume approximately 2400 calories a day. To double her weight, she only needed to double her calories to 4800 per day. Nancy now knew from experience that, with a little effort, this was quite easy to accomplish. She continued with her calculations: in the first weeks, at 4800 calories per day, she could gain between 4 and 5 pounds a week. Of course each new pound gained would then need 12 to 15 calories per day for maintenance. Her weight gain would slow as she gained weight.

When she figured out that just to get from 299 to 300 lbs. would take almost a week at 4800 calories, Nancy started to worry. Then she realized that, if she needed to, all she had to do to maintain momentum was add a few hundred calories with an extra doughnut or two every day. This calmed her thoughts and she drifted off to sleep. After all, she likes doughnuts.

* * *

The morning after the party, Eric got ready for work and slipped out without disturbing his wife. Nancy farted loudly which woke her up. She was so bloated that her body ached and even her eyelids felt like they might burst. Her stomach hurt and, for a moment, she had to fight off a wave of nausea. With a minor struggle, she was able to roll herself out of her nest of pillows. She sat on the edge of the bed for a moment to steady herself. Stumbling into the bathroom, she sat down on the toilet and peed. Her guts were full to the point of discomfort and she farted some more but she couldn’t accomplish much else. She was constipated from the rich and fried food at the buffet.

She looked at her face in the mirror. Her eyes were puffy and her cheeks flushed. She almost looked as if she had been slapped around. Getting ready for work today was going to be take extra effort. Opening her medicine cabinet, she took a double dose of her diuretic and several laxative tablets. She also swallowed four aspirin for her headache followed by three cups of cold water. She could feel the water flowing into her system. She thought, "It's unfair to feel both bloated and dehydrated at the same time." She couldn't tell if she was more hung over from the food, the wine, or her troubled sleep.

As soon as the water hit her stomach with the combination of pills, she could barely turn around fast enough to lose it all into the toilet. Nancy brushed her teeth to get the taste out of her mouth. Wrapping herself in her deep green, oversized terrycloth bathrobe, Nancy picked up her bottles of pills for a second try and headed off to the kitchen to fix herself some tea to settle her system. As full as she felt, she realized that her stomach was empty and not prepared for a full assault of pharmaceuticals.

"Where is my loving, caring, faithful husband," she thought as she walked past the empty guest room. Looking at the clock on the kitchen wall she saw that it was 8:00. No doubt he had left for work early to avoid having to talk with her or look at her this morning. She agreed that she was not a pretty sight but was just as glad to not have to listen to him telling her how she was a pig fucking up his personal image.

Nancy put the water on to boil and noticed that the two doughnuts she had expected to find from the night before were missing. Looking for the doughnut box, she found Eric's note stuck on the refrigerator door. "After you've had a chance to get yourself together, call me at the office." Nancy took the top off of the garbage and found the box that Eric had thrown out the night before. Leaving the box in the garbage, she filched the last two doughnuts which she figured to have after her tea.

Nancy needed some time to herself. She called her secretary and left a message on her voice mail. "I won't be in this morning, Melanie. Tell Charlie to watch our position on National Gypsum. I'll give you a call around noon to update you on my progress." Melanie and Charley would know what to do. They were loyal to Nancy and could empathize with her. After all, Melanie had suffered a tragic marriage, too.

She made her way back into her bedroom. Standing in front of the full length mirror on the back of the door, Nancy dropped the bathrobe and shimmied out of the football jersey that she had once been able to lose herself in but which was now form-fitting. The first thing she noticed, as she looked at her self in the mirror, was that she filled it. To see her entire body at once, she had to step back against the bed. She tried to assess her image objectively. Staring at the woman in the mirror, it was difficult for Nancy to reconcile this reflection as really being her. She touched her hands to her face to confirm that she was one and the same with this behemoth. For the first time in a long time, she took the time to study the changes that her campaign had raged on her body.

She was bloated almost beyond recognition. While she could still see herself in her eyes, everything else seemed obscure. Her face had disappeared in the explosion of her cheeks and the rim of flesh that could be called her chin. Letting her eyes follow the shape of her body, she searched for a familiar form. What she found was a body without a figure. Her torso with its wide pendulous belly dominated. Studying how the tubular roll of fat where her waist had once been now disappeared into the large bulges at her sides, she wondered whether, anatomically, these could still be called her hips. Was there some other name for these additional body parts? What was the rounded band of fat that circled her body between her arm pits and the crease formed by the thick hump of fat sitting over her ass called. "Back fat" didn’t seem to do it justice.

Reaching her hands under her belly, she lifted this large, soft, globular sphere and let in drop. It bounced and wobbled for a moment before coming to rest. Taking a breath, Nancy could still feel the effects of the previous night’s gorge: when she had almost eaten herself to oblivion; when she had continued eating even after her digestive organs had begun to protest with violent pain; when she had continued to eat until her arms would no longer respond in exhaustion; when she had stumbled into her bed and past out disappointed because there was still more food for her to consume, but she just couldn’t fit it in. She twisted slowly from side to side and watched the inert mass that encased her body develop its own momentum.

She turned to view herself in profile and noticed that her body was almost as wide from front to back as it was from side to side, although the horizontal bands of fat viewed from the front had a more diagonal orientation when viewed from the side. Nancy ran her hands over her body and noticed that, instead of being fluffy or malleable, her body felt solid and had great density: as if every cell was filled to capacity. She had to admit that this really was her and that there really was a lot of her. 　

She thought about the previous night’s eating escapade and tried to do the numbers. Was it possible that she could have eaten between 10,000 and 15,000 calories? It was difficult to accurately assess that kind of assault on her system. She started to do the math. At 10,000 calories a day, she could support more than 700 lbs of flesh. But, could her body support this much weight? Could her attitude? Was it even possible to be that big without help?

Nancy no longer new how much she actually weighed: she had passed the 300 lbs. mark on their scale over a month before but doubted that she could weigh much more than 310 lbs., even with the previous night’s effort, since her weight gain had slowed considerably due simply to the caloric requirements of maintaining her bulk. She wondered if anyone could really appreciate how difficult it was to sustain this effort. Until she had started her campaign, Nancy had little regard for the hours of eating and resulting physical discomfort that fat people had to endure. She had learned early on that the concept of associating being fat with being lazy was mistaken. This was hard work. And relentless, since after making the effort the person then had to carry the effects around with them.

Crossing the 300 pound mark had been something of an event for Nancy. She had felt a certain liberation that her measure was no longer subject to their scale. She had since discovered, however, that there were other measures of a more practical nature by which to assess herself. Clothing was a constant problem. She could no longer fit herself in conventional sizes and had adopted a style that was effectively a loose tent. Properly fitting bras and underwear was a major challenge to find but absolutely critical for stability. She had finally found specially designed support garments that were measured in multiple "x"s. She learned to depend on these elastic contraptions to help hold her gelatinous form together. Otherwise, the independent rhythms that could develop in her body simply from walking down a flight of stairs felt like they could wobble her out of control.

She was also experiencing significant physical limitations. Walking more than a few blocks was difficult. Even standing for a while could be exhausting. Getting in and out of a car could feel like gymnastics. While sitting was her most comfortable position, she had to be careful about what she sat on. The tubular chairs at the office had proven no longer safe unless she sat forward over the legs. And sitting in a deep couch could be embarrassing when she had to roll herself out and climb to her feet.

At 700 pounds, would she be immobilized? If she was immobile, how would she eat? Who would feed her? Suddenly, she wondered about those immensely obese people she read about in supermarket newspapers. When a person got so fat that they could no longer walk, was somebody actually going to the trouble of providing them with an almost constant flow of food? How did they go the bathroom? There had been a story on the networks recently about a man who had gotten so fat that the side of his house had to be removed. He had to be carried in a sling, specially made for transporting large fish at an aquarium, and lifted by a fork lift to be taken to the hospital. His wife, a woman who probably didn’t weigh more than 125 lbs., was interviewed. She had called the hospital because she was afraid for her husband’s life. At what point did she start to worry? Hadn’t it occurred to her that, when he could no longer stand up, that maybe she should stop cooperating by going on numerous daily shopping trips to fast food restaurants to feed his demands?

Suddenly, Nancy realized that maybe she didn’t really feel hungry anymore. After all, she was that person feeding herself.

She sat down on her bed and took another look at her reflection. Her belly sat squarely where her lap would have been if she could still sit comfortably with her legs together. She could hide her hands and almost her forearms in the creases formed by her rolls of fat.

Sitting, standing, or lying down, she could still feel the weight of the mass of undigested food crammed into her gut. Her breathing was short and shallow, as if there was no longer enough room for her lungs to take a deep breath. Nancy wondered if this was what being pregnant felt like. Of course, women seldom gain 190 pounds during a pregnancy. She suddenly found herself wondering how much longer this could go on. Should this stop? How much longer would all this take?

She picked up the phone and dialed Eric’s number at work.

His secretary answered, explaining that Eric was not available, but he had left a message for her. The message was that she should look in the tool box.

She got to her feet and went to the closet where they kept the tool box. Opening the box, she found a letter from Eric. Very strange putting it in the tool box and not just leaving it on the counter.

Nancy read the short but complete letter. "We are done. I don’t need anything from the apartment. Send the name of your attorney to my secretary and I will forward to my attorney. Let’s get this done quickly. I would prefer to never have to look at you again."

Nancy felt like a weight had lifted.

[swahilimonkfish]

This is stunning writing, beautiful and tender characterisation full of heart and warmth. Eric's cruelty seemed horribly believable, and I don't think I have rooted for a character as much as Nancy before, well done!

[dania201]

This story manages to be both delightfully dark yet liberating and believable. I love it! It’s complete just like this, but I’d still love more!

Great job. 

[Guest fishcow1]

Damn, this is dark. I've never seen a villain like Eric on an amateur withing board. You really achieved a feeling of gritty realism.

[laser123]

She could have simply asked for a divorce, becoming obese to spite him seems dramatic. Maybe in future relationships she will be better skilled at communicating her feelings. Still, nicely written. Cheers.