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Habituating my wife to weight gain [updates]


allgrownup

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Finally back with the wife. She’s very proud her belly got smaller, that she fits into her clothes better. She said her belly overhang was causing smelly problems etc. 

I complimented her on how she looks, caressed her double chin (new thing I’m doing) and said ‘very nice’, squeezed her back fat as usual, and ran my hands over her belly saying "that’s still a very cute belly", which she was happy with. 

It’s honestly hard to say if her belly is smaller or not. It seems to although that could be the power of suggestion. Sure is that when you look you see a fat blubber belly that really hangs over. She is nowhere near being thin. 

Her eating pattern certainly doesn’t seem to have changed; 2 croissants with butter and with peanut butter, followed by 1/3 to 1/2 a bag of chips. 

Also her double chin has gotten really massively fat. I’ll be caressing that at least one more time today, complimenting her on it. Going to see if I can bring up the weight loss surgery in a "now that your belly is smaller we can drop this" kind of way

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I've won :)

While we were eating we discussed how we feel about our bodies. When it came to her I asked "now that you feel you fit better in your clothes is that weight loss surgery still on the table?" and she said "I don't think so"

Of course the real win will have to come once the papers come in, and she has to make her final decision, but so far I've moved her from "I'm getting surgery" to "I'm not sure" to "I don't think so"

The coming weeks and months I'll regularly get back to this to reinforce her answer in her own mind.

So it looks like I have a nice fat wife who's used to having her fat rolls squeezed and her belly caressed who's going to stay big all her life, possibly eventually a bit bigger.

The internalization of being fat and adorable is ongoing. Today she put on a summer dress that's kind of tight around the belly; it really shows her fatness instead of those tent-like clothes many big women wear. She said "this is about as tight as I can wear a dress." Naturally I rewarded her with a lot of compliments; "that dress really looks good on you and I love how it shows your body"

And while I haven't made a direct comment yet I've been caressing her double chin these past 2 days. Just caressing her face, running my hand over her cheeks, and then going under her chin and running my hand over her fat-flabby double chin. "You're beautiful." She's made no counter comments and hasn't complained about being touched this way. My goal is to make this a verbal thing too - "I love your double chin" or "your neck is gorgeous" - so that that's another piece of her fat body she feels a bit bad about where she has to accept compliments until she herself can't distinguish anymore whether she finds it bad or not.

I'm leaving her free in her food choices at the moment. Yesterday evening that resulted in her asking for some pastry I had brought for her (6 portions, of course, instead of 1). She had refused it in the morning. Then for a sandwich. Today she finished her supper, then asked for another pastry, then for a bowl of cereal. Food-wise the goal is to have her feel comfortable, to have the impression she isn't eating herself fat. At minimum she maintains; her body's setpoint has definitely gone up and this is her new normal weight. Of course now the wait is for when she asks for a huge portion of junk food or a big amount of snacks :)

The transformation is very satisfying. From self-criticizing fatty to successful weight loss, fed back to the upper range of Class I obesity but this time with a larger amount of acceptance. When she's out in public view it's not like a woman with a belly; she's fat. Big neck, very fat double chin now, round fatty face, real big extending belly with overhang, huge upper arms, fat starting to form around the wrists. Good heavy breasts. The only thing that looks regular are her legs; no gains are going into her legs so far. They're a bit thicker than before but nothing massive, nothing fat.

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Could you just say you did a little research into what could help - you know, just in case she encounters that problem again - because you want her to be comfortable and feel her best? 

Whenever my husband comes to me with an issue which *could* be resolved by losing weight, I immediately get to finding out as much as I can about what could help and present him with solutions. Keep the focus on "you can feel great right now" instead of "you can feel great if you lose weight". 

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A quick update.

As said, I'm letting her graze how she wants. On some days she eats a lot less than before. 1 toast, a smallish plate for supper, a portion of chips (like, literally just 10-20 chips). On other days she eats a bit more but no real overeating.

Between her lifestyle now -- just not being active at all -- and some non-weight related health issues she spends most of her day laying in bed or sitting in a chair. Her movement consists of walking between the bed, the chair, and the toilet. As you know I encourage that behavior; I like her to live like a food processor.

Because she burns so little calories any deviation makes her gain. Her double chin is very pronounced. I find her belly more pronounced too and today she commented on that "my belly is coming back"

It's a pleasure to look at her undressed in the evening. When she sits on the side of the bed her belly hangs on her thighs, another rolls sits between her breasts and her belly, her breasts have that nice big fat look, and then her fatty neck and round face above it to top it all off. 

I'm very proud to be seen with her in public, more proud than I was when she was thinner (185 lbs).

It's a good but difficult exercise to let her do her own thing and not consciously try to fatten her up. It helps me appreciate how she looks now, helps me realize how fat she is already, but it does make me long for the time when I can grow her more actively again.

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Today was one of those beautiful release days again where her fattie habits finally won over her "moderate" eating. After breakfast she had a small break and then wolved down 5 donuts.

Afterwards she felt bloated and kind of sick so I said; "You should buy something online; you had 5 donuts so you deserve it, and you feel a bit sick so it will help make you feel better"

She liked that and has placed her order meanwhile. Me, I'm excited that "you had 5 donuts you deserve it" is something she finds normal now. And it's fun to see how, in the end, she always gives in to eating.

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The day, yesterday, went even better. At the end of the day when she was naked I stood behind her and as so often lifted her belly with both my hands to feel its weight. I commented "it's beautiful" and this time she looked at me and said "yes?", followed by one of her invites to cream her.

Her belly got a lot of my attention. Feeling risky I told her her belly looks bigger than before. She seemed a bit shocked. Later I returned to the topic, telling her I didn't meant to make her feel bad, that if it's bigger that's a good thing. She said "I know for your it's beautiful"

We fell asleep again with me holding her belly.

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Self-identifying as fat

We had a very nice weekend meeting 4 couples, 3 of which were new to us. 

2 of the women were big; one of them really big. She wasn't tall but very very round. Easily around the 300 lbs. My wife liked being around her a lot as she wasn't the biggest woman in the room with her around. She often eyed her, a behavior I know from our winter vacation when she was looking at big(ger) women as if looking how it would be for her. I made no comments about that but think it's good if she mentally explores that option; it habituates her to thinking about herself like that, and it's true that given the chance for the coming years her lifestyle will be growing bigger.

The other big woman was one my wife knew well. She had gone from a gym rat bod to mirroring my wife. Fat face, big arms, big belly. A pleasure to see the change. She hopes to go back to the gym "this winter" but I'll believe it when I see it.

The other 2 women were as thin as a stick and both the women and their husbands were making remarks about it. How often they walk, that they lost 10 lbs, etc. One of the husbands said "she used to be much bigger" to which my wife responded "well, I'm fat." No shame, just a statement. "I'm fat"

It's she first time she self-identifies in public as fat instead of "I'm big" or "I regained some weight." 

As a reward for good behavior I got her a box of Munchkins and a bag of chips which I put on her side of the bed. She sampled a couple of the Munchkins and ate most of the bag of chips without commenting on the calories.

I'm very pleased with how it is going. 

 

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Yesterday was another day of self-feeding. Donuts, followed by "do we have dessert?" (as if she just had a meal) so I gave her a cup of haagen dazs (circa 500 calories), followed by chinese takeout, and topped off with half a bag of chips.

In the evening she complained about a rash. Under the fold of her belly overhang she has a red line. Irritated skin. I helped her with that and then told her "I'll take care of your belly from now on" and her answer was a simple "OK." No "I should lose weight"

She's been this heavy before and I don't recall any problems back then. But back then it was for a short time (3-4 months) and she also wasn't aware I like her big, so we didn't talk about those things back then either.

Anyway, in a strange way I find it kind of hot she now starts to have these fat weight related issues.

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We're on the 3rd day of belly care. She feels she doesn't need the cream I applied but does want baby powder in the fold. 

She seems to accept it the same way she sometimes has a bra that leaves marks. 

I don't know if having seen those fat women has changed her mind a bit but she's definitely in a more accepting phase of her growing at the moment. Eating very well too, all at her own requests.

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2 minutes ago, NikeLove1986 said:

Seems like she is embracing the good life here 

She repeats back to me that I find her beautiful and sexy. This is something that's now firmly established in her mind too; that I like her with her weight.

I know these things go with ups and downs but slowly but surely we're getting at a place where not just being fat but growing steadily fatter is just the normal thing.

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1 hour ago, BindsThatTie said:

Good sign that she plainly acknowledges she's "fat"

Especially as it wasn't one of those "yuck how disgusting am I but don't worry, I'm going to drop some lbs soon" kind of statement. Just a very factual self description.

Quote

What's another plate?

She's surrounded by the food she loves and loves to make the "wrong" decisions. One of those meal muffins and bread as breakfast. 200 calorie cookies. She just asked for pasta so I'm about to make her a nice portion of that.

The odd thing is that especially when her weight is being taken, which is a while ago now, she is surprised she gained weight. I don't know how it works for her but she keeps being surprised about it.

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Somebody asked me about the weight loss surgery so yesterday evening, after she asked for a chips at the end of a day of consistent self-feeding, I said "so it's safe to assume we're officially not doing the weight loss surgery?" and she said "no, we're not"

Combined with her indiscriminate eating, her casual accordance with belly care, and our open understanding that I like her heavy and wouldn't mind seeing her heavier, I find this very encouraging.

My goal now is going to be to get her used to the idea that gaining has no hard upper limit, that it is open ended. I'd like new gains to be something she knows will happen. If possible I'd like her to look at other, larger women as her possible future.

First step is to see if I can weigh her again to get a bearing on where we are.

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Again made open ended comments about how she looks great but that if she gains more she need not worry; I'll like it and love her.

She's indicated she feels comfortable with a 215-220 lbs weight. Which is really good; for her to tell me being class 1 obese is OK is a big step and a big win.

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Yesterday morning: I hate my body like this, if only I could get rid of my belly.

Followed by: haagen dazs, hamburger with double cheese, poutine with double cheese. Half a bag of chips in the evening, followed by a sandwich at the end of the evening. During the night she got up to eat 1/2 a pie.

Today: large cookies. "What's for supper?" Hearing a description of something with rice and vegetables she asks for a take out pizza instead.

She absolutely doesn't see or experience the beauty her overweight (actually; obese) body is but she eats like this.

New is that she has started to comment more often on "what do you find beautiful? I don't see it; it's just fat" At which point I explain breasts and butts are "just fat" too

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The fat belly discussion continued this morning. She finds breasts and butts are secondary sexual features, so it's normal to find them beautiful. I argued that men often are into legs as well and you can hardly argue those are secondary sexual features; and that in the end men say things like "look at that hot chick there" or "wow, she has nice breasts" instead of "see that skeleton with muscle and fat tissue over there?!"

Where 2 years ago, when I started to encourage her to just let her weight increase go instead of trying to lose it again, we talked about how I like her "with a little bit of meat on her," now that she is obese and doesn't just have a protruding belly but a nice flab of fat hanging there instead it's the first times our talks really mention the word fat and she's gaining an understanding that I like her fat belly

Now that we're on the subject of openly talking about things; she's very used to my feeding remarks too. "You ate so good today, you should buy yourself something", "As long as you didn't lose weight it's OK to buy some more clothes", "You can wake up me to have me make food for you; I love feeding you", "Pizza? Of course! I love bringing you food", "I love it when you eat", "That was a good eating day, I'm proud of you", etc. All these kinds of remarks go by without any objection. And although she often doesn't respond, she reacts to them. "You said I could buy myself something so I bought this or that"

Things are going good. And typing this post I think "wow, it's been just 2 years?!" At the time of that first talk she had already eaten herself up from 185 to 195/196 lbs. Today she must be between 220-225 lbs. She's through that mental barrier of 200 lbs and above it since 547 days now. She's never been even close to dip under it again. And although for our kind of people her weight gain doesn't seem that huge, her belly is a good size. Also, it's not just the weight that has changed; it's especially the whole setup around it. Her gain is in between her own uncontrollable, undisciplined way of wanting to eat, and the knowledge that I much prefer her this way. Based on some conversations I think she's actually more worried now if I would still like her even fatter. Well, fear not darling, I'll remove that barrier for you too so you can keep on gaining and growing that fat flab :)

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She was around 230 lbs when she decided to lose weight for real. That's the time I discovered I prefer her fat.

She did a whole bunch of "the last time I eat this" meals and in a little over half a year that brought her up to 250 lbs.

Between those 2 I preferred the 250 lbs.

So 250 lbs is my initial target for her now but I've learned that I like her fat, I like her gaining. I have no real upper limit for her; if she grows, she grows. I would certainly not discourage that. Maybe it would be nice to see her at 275-300 lbs, to begin with.

With the ups and downs, the giving in and fighting back, it currently looks she's good to gain about 10 lbs per year. So I'll have a couple of years of fun ahead of me.

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Very sexy first time: today on a short walk (less than half a mile) she had to stop to lean against me and catch her breath. She was simply out of breath from walking (slowly!). Very encouraging that exercise won't be a weight loss option for her, and nice to see she's really getting heavier.

Today she's really helping the fattening again. One of those 400+ calories muffins as breakfast, 2 slices of pizza, large serving of chinese take out at 600-800 calories, followed by the request for ice cream (you know the high calorie brand by now!).

Also great attitude! "What's for supper?" "We can do chinese take out or you can have chips" "I want both"

So that's what's she's going to get now :)

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400 calorie muffin for breakfast.

 

Coffee run; do you want donuts? No. So I bought two tractor wheels (type of donut) and told her "I bought 2 donuts just in case"

 

Lunch was half a submarine. 

 

As we came by a store she likes I told her to go pick something for herself; "you’re a gorgeous woman and I know you don’t always like the way you look yourself, so I think you deserve a reward to make you feel better"

 

She picked a dress a size larger than she wanted. She said they didn’t have her size so that this dress would fit her a bit lose"

 

"I’m a positive thinker: who knows, maybe one day you grow into it"

 

She was all like no way, not going to happen, don’t want to go there. 

 

Then; "where are those donuts?" And she ate both of them in one sitting. 

 

She topped off the day with a 500 calories poutine (fries with cheese) and some chips.

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