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Habituating my wife to weight gain [updates]


allgrownup

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Well, you know your wife better than I do, for sure. But to me this looks like a woman in desperate need of fitting clothes, who finally resigns to order jeans a size up. Her continuing indulgence (getting up at night to devour a sizeable piece of pie) attests to this assumption.

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Guest MX8XV93
On 2/4/2019 at 7:14 PM, allgrownup said:

She said she's ordered 2 larger pair of jeans because she has no jeans that fit her anymore. Then she said "so either they'll fit or they'll fit me later"

I'd love to understand that like "if they're too big I'll fit them later" but maybe she means "if they're a size too small my diet will make me fit them later"

If they were bigger than the one's she had, then probably the first.  That sounds amazing!

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But to me this looks like a woman in desperate need of fitting clothes, who finally resigns to order jeans a size up.

Oh she needs fitting clothes, I can tell you! This is an expensive hobby. Once Summer was done she had me store away 2 large bags of summer clothes that no longer fit. Every month since then new clothes come in, in increasing sizes. 

She now doesn't fit in her winter coats anymore. You know you gained weight when your coat doesn't fit. 

Quote

If they were bigger than the one's she had, then probably the first.  That sounds amazing!

If only she's said "if they are too large" but "if they don't fit" could mean going down in weight too.

Not that I'm too concerned about that. Ma'am really likes how I feel about her and enjoys the care free eating. Diet days are days with less pie. She's now 2.1 lbs heavier then at the start of the year. 

It would be so nice if I could tip her over into "just being fat." As her weight increases she's already moving her limits. First she wasn't sure if she could become 200, then if she could stay 200. At 208 she wanted to go down to eat least 200. She's sniffed at 215-ish two-three times now, saying she doesn't want to be heavier, but I know tonight she'll be eating her chips again. Nothing would be nicer than that her becoming 200 wasn't a one-time thing but that now she just lets the gain happens because I like it.

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She had taken a nap. When she woke up she asked for food.

"I dreamed there was food"

"That's good to hear!"

"That I dreamed about food?"

"Yup"

No response. Then: "I'm happy with my new clothes"

Offered to make her some instant Chinese food (one of her fav's) but she asked for pie with ice cream instead.

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During the vacation I noticed that I like being seen with her and like showing her off. I'm proud to be seen with her, the way other men with a culturally traditional woman are proud.

I'm also proud in a sense of "look at my work." I'd love to show her and talk about the work that goes into making her the way she is. Of course, besides writing about it here that's not an option.

It's a special hobby to have; growing your wife bigger. Others garden, some build things. I enjoy closely monitoring the food my wife consumes, entering it and projecting what her weight will be. I like finding foods she seems to be unable to resist, and then I like exposing her to more of it so even on the days she says she doesn't want to get bigger than this she eats more than is reasonable. 

I like experimenting with her environment. Putting the scales away immediately made her stop checking her weight. I'm more aware of her weight gain than she is herself. 

It's at the same time a very loving relation. I don't wish any harm on her but I do know what's good for her and what she can bear for it. Eating has always been an emotional support for her, an emotional outlet, and a source of real pleasure. The side effect is weight gain.

Although I like the time when she was more resistant, the idea that she's coming around is exciting too. She knows I find her size sexually exciting. She likes it that I'm sexually excited. It's becoming very pleasant for her to be big.  The idea that, maybe, now she is letting getting big happen....
 

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Interesting day so far. She's wearing something that's very tight. You really can't say it's flattering; it makes her look nice big, round, and fat. Great, right?

Then I hear a metallic sound and she's drinking something. Puts it away. It's strange as she drinks water from a plastic bottle or a glass.

About half an hour later she asks for pie.

Yet an hour later; "I'm still hungry, do we have lasagna?" (of course we do; with extra cheese, darling)

As I throw the cover of the lasagna away, I see what made the sound; she had one of those Ensure meal replacement drinks, with the metal cap.

So here she was, wanting to diet a little bit and instead she ended up having extra calories.

Oh god, she's so nice with her big chin, her round face, and her round body. And she's never going down again.

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Valentine's day is starting out nice; she asked for a DOUBLE breakfast. Toasts and cereals. She's starting the day with 1100 calories in already. And they have time to settle in: she's back to sleep :)

Also very hot; she cancelled an appointment with a friend yesterday. They were going to go to some kind of boutique but her friend wanted to go on foot. She told me "that's 15 minutes walking away from her house; I can't walk that"

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Her new jeans came in. She went to try , then came to me to help "close"

That was a fail. She held the open parts as much together as she could, which still left a gap where she was holding in and a much larger gap further below. With much breathing in and pushing and pulling I could get the zipper up but there was no way those 3 buttons at the top were going to close.

She was really pissed off about it, took off the jeans and threw them aside. I didn't comment and let her do her thing.

When a bit of time had passed I folded the jeans away, looking inside to see what size they are. It's a Suzanne Betro (they make plus size clothing) US size 18. That's a 2X. So according to this size chart https://c2.mysalec.com/sizechart/SBetroSizeChart.pdf her waist must be larger than 40"-43" (100-109cm).

She followed it up with hot chocolate (I made it for her with extra rich milk so she had a quick 280 calories there), a meal, pie topped with ice cream, and a while later some chips.

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She’s progressing nicely. My projection is that she’s close to crossing the 215 lbs point. I think my projections are very conservative and that she might be heavier. Her intense dieting from a couple of years ago likely has lowered her BMR a lot. Visually she’s also bulking up more than a change from 212 to 215 suggests. 

I massaged her back the other day and there is a layer of fat in her should blades you can just grab. Totally different from the skin over bone feel you otherwise get. When she sits upright she has a very round belly. All really looking good but as we all know, more would be better. 

On Valentine’s we were about to make love but alcohol impeded my performance. She asked “are you sure it’s not because I’m big?” I told her that not only is she sexier this way, every day looking at her is a pleasure. There was more to the conversation and while nothing specific was said my impression is that she knows she is getting bigger, she knows it excites me THAT she is big (I think she would think I’m more FA than feeder), and that there was no indication of “I have to stop”

I'm starting to think that how she was looking at these really big women during our vacation may have been a "he's into that and I'll have to become that" kind of thing.

Either way; she's fully aware in all aspects that she's gaining weight.

In these days she’s eating a lot of pie, always at her own request. When it’s apple pie she gets ice cream with it: that was her idea and I just stick to it. Haagen Dazs of course. One day she eat 3/4 of a pie. Most of the time she eats 1-2 pieces in a day. 

As you may remember last year I messed up her meal times to promote snacking. That is still going very good. Meals have become somewhat of a rare thing. She’ll have breakfast, then pie, then either a snack or sometimes a fattening meal (lasagna extra cheese, spaghetti extra cheese, instant Chinese, pizza), another piece of pie, and then it’s evening and time for chips.

Is there any interest in me describing the timeline of her changing eating behavior?

@extra_m13 not a genius but I'm pretty okay at encouraging habits in my wife :) I know there are ups and downs in this process and that it can happens she's once going to feel so down, she will really diet. In a way I encourage that. As long as she keeps eating/not-eating, that's OK. A true lifestyle change, that would be different and would suck. For now it's much faster to get the weight on then for her to diet it off. The higher we can get that weight, the longer and more sustained diet effort it would take to get it off. She'll no doubt go through "OMG I"m 220!" "OMG I'm 230" etc but we'll ease her through that.

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I thought this was nice to share too; how good she is at consistently overeating.

cals.thumb.png.c43973cff2f48d267e68edd038e6e62f.png

MyFitnessPal has her calculated at 1970 calories to maintain. I think it's lower than that but go with this figure.

Ideally, for her to lose weight she should be eating well under this. At least 200 calories less per day. But as you see, she just keeps overeating. On average she eats 2344 calories in a day. Over the past 7 days she overate 2620 calories: in 1 week she ate for almost 8.5 days of food.

The visual effect is of course beautiful to see but the psychological effect is too. It's like encouraging an addiction but now an addiction to food. Take yesterday; she didn't want to have lunch with me because "I just ate." Then half an hour later she asked for her 2nd piece of pie. Then dry, sugary cereals. Then a 3rd piece of pie. Snacks. And then late in the evening, we were already laying ready to go to sleep, she said "why is it that I get hungry at this time - I just brushed my teeth!" The more she eats, the hungrier she gets. 

I think she came back very good from her 1200-1500 calories diet days. 

 

cals.png

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absolutely love when that happens, even if i know she will be with a terrible mood after she realices how much she ate of when the next weigh in comes, those are some of the best moments, when the lady loses control and eats way more than what she should to mantain the weight and even more than her beloved husband, proof of a big appetite, so hot !

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2015

Small meals. 200-300 calories, 3 times a day. Snacks like an apple, some céleri sticks, 10 nuts

2016

She is around the weight she wants to be (185 lbs) and starts to snack. She asks for small bags of chips. They’re about 460 calories per baggie. She eats one every evening. 

Meanwhile she sticks to her tiny meals plus snacks during the day. 

2017

By the middle of the year she’s 195 lbs and she’s starting to get concerned. I tell her again that dieting isn’t a one time thing, that for the rest of her life she’ll have to eat like that. That is what she wants; she wants to be 180 lbs. But she keeps overeating. Finally I tell her I don’t mind helping her to diet but that I mind even less if she eats as she wants and has a little meat on herself. 

 By now her one toast breakfast has become a two toast one. She’s still eating 3 real meals a day but together they’re often 1200-1500 calories. At night she eats the baggie of chips, sometimes followed by ice cream. I take her out to eat burgers and fries. 

By the end of summer she stops snacking, trying to lose weight. 

2018

She’s through the 200 lbs barrier. 

Whenever diet comes up I keep hammering on how she has to eat like that the rest of her life. I also tell her she can just eat how she wants, enjoy it, enjoy life, and forget about the scales: that I enjoy it. 

I reintroduce small portion sized chips. Then I put out a bag. I make sure snack food is in the house and is around for all to see. Healthy lean alternatives are still present but out of sight. 

Whenever possible I encourage overeating. 

Except breakfast none of the daily meals happen consistently or on a consistent time. She’ll often eat something in between, skipping the meal (“I just ate”) and eating snack food instead. 

By the end of the year she’s used to me buying chips by the box full. She eats cake every day since there’s a whole cake in the fridge all the time. 

She starts to ask for a “fourth meal” around midnight 

2019

She rarely eats normal meals. She gets a good, big, breakfast but then switches to eating pie, pizza, fries, takeout food. Because there are no fixed meal times anymore she eats whenever she wants.
 

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  • 2 weeks later...

The February pie eating diet has been more successful than I thought. She came home from a friend last week (yes, the walking friend) where she has weighed herself. According to her she's 226 lbs and she says "I don't want to be big like this"

So of course the whole system has to be changed. No more chips! Popcorn is OK. So now she gets popcorn (50 gr is 180 cal vs chips 50 gram 250 cal) with seasoning that bumps up the calories, but not that much.

Real food! We need to have healthy food! So now I make enticing comfort food. Cheeseburger pie w Bisquick. Apple pie and pumpkin pie with Bisquick.

I'm kind of like "if she wants, let her go, let her be" and am taking mostly a hands-off approach. But I think she has a lot more growing to do. It's her destiny :)

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If she's really 226 I'm way off. Like way off. I overheard her on the phone talking about being 220. Now I don't know if that's being to shy to tell someone "I'm 226" or that it's the truth, but it would be much closer to the 215-216 lbs I would have her at.

Until I have a new baseline to work from I'm holding off on tracking her that closely; I have no idea what weight she really is.

Calorie-wise nothing much has changed; it's just the composition of the diet. 

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I'm a very happy man at the moment. Her belly is ballooning nicely. The overhang is about a hand-width thick. I mean, when she lays, or when I stand behind her, and I place my hand under the hanging part of her belly, the width of my hand is easily covered by that area.

Her face is doing that wonderful liquid retention kind of thing where she's all puffy, including nicely filled up eye sockets.

The diet? Oh that is going great. The magic words are: home made. Home made is delicious (true, I make it) and home made is Healthy (not true in the sense of "not fattening"). 

Between the idea that this is healthy eating and almost 1.5 year now of conditioning her, I can be really proud of how she eats. Home made pizza, cut in 1/6th's. That makes her want to have two pieces; two of those is more than 1 quarter she would normally get. Home made pie. Been giving her 1/6th to help placate her diet idea. Result? She asks for quarter pieces instead.

There is a lot of talk:

  • "Nothing fits me because I'm too big"
  • "Those necklaces are too tight because I'm fat now"
  • "I'm just too big"
  • "I emptied that drawer because nothing fits me"

...but the corresponding action makes me proud of her acceptance (or defeat):

  • wants whipped cream on her pie
  • wants sandwiches (400-500 cal) before going to sleep

The only real change in her eating behavior is that she's no longer eating chips, even when I put them out and start to snack on them myself. But she does take a large bucket of popcorn, with toppings, for a good 300-500 (at least) anyway.

I'm really pleased. This switch seems to make her constant growth much more sustainable. It's harder to estmate calorie intake but with the expanding of her body, the fact that seen from the side I can fit her "2 years ago" self twice in her silhouette now, that doesn't really matter. She's still growing :)

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Although she doesn't know or realize that I'm a feeder, just that I like her bigger, I like how opening up paved the way to making remarks about this.

I don't know what started it but yesterday again I said "your girlfriends must be jealous when you explain it" "What?" "That all you have to do to please your man is eat." She smiled and rubbed the balloon that is her tummy.

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