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Cheyennegil(Instagram)


Guest grabamo

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Guest grabamo

2 new posts on her IG... (be kind!!!)

"Over the past 6 months I have gained nearly 30 pounds. Stress. Emotional eating. Binging. Not facing the things that are affecting me. Taking care of everyone else but myself. Helping my loved ones through hard times (and being directly part of those hard times, too...stress on top of stress on top of stress). Having moments of shame after a binge. Lying about what I ate. Lying about the last time I ate. Using excuses like "well I'm stressed, I deserve this". My binging habits pop up when I'm under extreme stress. Sometimes I don't even realize how stressed I actually am until I realize I just scarfed down a meal big enough for 3 people and pretty much blacked out in the process. Not even enjoying the food I was eating or giving myself time to feel full. Just mindlessly eating. Eating super fast. Eating greasey, processed foods that do not fuel or nourish my body. My relationship to food is a rollercoaster ride. Again, extreme stress triggers my binging. Last week I was having a particularly difficult few days and then right before leaving for our trip, I was about to binge. But instead, I texted Damien and said "I want to binge. I was about to. But I won't. I'll go home and eat something I know will make me feel good and I'll eat slow and enjoy it." Well. I was miserable for the rest of the day. Crying. Cranky. Overwhelmed. Feeling even more stressed than before. Wishing I would have just eaten the monster buffalo chicken cheesesteak and fries I wanted earlier because what's the difference anyway?? The difference is control. Mindfulness. Facing my problems head on. Using healthy habits to de-stress and confront my issues. TALKING ABOUT IT. I can get away with binging very easily. It was not easy admitting to my boyfriend that I binge. Like any other addict, I hid it, lied about it, told myself it wasn't an issue so why bring it up? When really what I yearned for was HELP and understanding and to get it the fuck off my chest. My body is still beautiful and strong and I love myself. I know I need to find new ways of dealing with stress. And that's what I'll do. Anyway. Holy fuck that feels good to get off my chest. It's a journey. Always always always evolving."

"Thank you for all the love on my last post. I want to assure everyone that I feel strong and I still very much love my body. How I handle stress is stressful. Ha! It's wild. BUT I still love dis bod, though. I know we all go through these weird low points. The victory for me THIS TIME around is that I don't feel shame about my body. I feel love and appreciation. It's weird. I do, though, feel shame for lying about my eating habits to my loved ones, but I don't feel shame about the weight I've gained. My pants are tighter. My shirts are tighter. My boobs are bigger. I have some extra rolls popping up. All over again, I am working on my mindfulness when it comes to food. I'm working on distinguishing the difference between feeling hungry, bored, stressed. I mean, it actually sucks that so many of you can relate to that last post, but it also is so comforting to know we aren't alone. I used to let food and body image CONSUME my ENTIRE life. Now it's a little less terrible, and realizing I'm in the thick of is big for me. Talking about it is HUGE for me. I like to be the stoic, strong, I-can-handle-my-damn-self kind of woman who saves other people. It's hard admitting I have a true weakness. Well, actually it's not that hard haha, I just thought it was hard. It feels good. I feel good. Now I don't feel so overwhelmed and in my own head. Anyway, so much love to you allllllll. These next few months are going to be insane in so many (good) ways! I know I'll feel stress, and I know it will be challenging, but mannnnn I have an amazing support system and also, I'm a Capricorn so I can't help but work on bettering myself constantly 🙊. "

2017-07-27 21.11.31 1568356545128016194_50471169.jpg

2017-07-27 20.04.34 1568322850698358635_50471169.jpg

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  • 1 year later...

Anyone else scroll right through all those old photos again since this thread got bumped to the top. Man the internet allows us to live like kings from our living rooms and it never ceases to amaze me on all the insanely beautiful women I would have never dreamed of seeing if I had been born 80 years earlier

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