Help me understand this fetish

[Anonandscared]

My partner and I have been together for nearly 5 years, and we just got engaged a few months ago. Suddenly I've discovered that he has a fat 'feeder' fetish. He told me he' always known he felt that way, and that he writes erotic fiction about feeding women and then getting bigger. He even showed me a model he likes - I was shocked because she is nearly 600lbs!

All this information came out of nowhere (there have been no signs). It only came out because he panicked when I accessed his online device and deleted a load of stuff Which, for me having a young child, meant I became incredibly worried and so it all was revealed.

I have a mix of feelings. I'm incredibly hurt that he never told me before - it almost feels like I don't know this man who I've been with for so long. I'm also confused, as when we met I was a size 8 (very thin). I've since put on nearly 3 stone, and I'm scared that he has been feeding me without me noticing (he constantly brings me sweets and food and overfills my plate). I can't decide if I have been manipulated or not, I can't work out why he went out with me in the first place, and now I'm terrified I will marry a man I don't really know. What if he's never truly happy with me (I've read that feeders are never satisfied and I am health conscious - not to cause offence to those on here, I want to stress that the weight I personally have gained on my body has not been managed healthily - so already I feel like crap for even being this size.

He says he loves me. I want to understand and be accepting. He isn't asking me to gain weight for him, indeed I've explained that I wouldn't be comfortable with it and he understands. But can a feeder fetishist ever truly be happy with a thin woman? Or will this cause serious issues further down the line?

Please help me. I don't know where else to turn and my marriage and my family depend on me being able to understand this fetish better.

(Things I do know: he isn't into squashing or forced feeding. All the photos he has are of clothed women or in their underwear, and the fiction he writes is all about feeding women and them getting bigger, and he likes stomachs)

[Guest fishmish]

First of all, he really should have told!  Especially before asking you to marry him!

Second of all, if you've been together for five years and he's proposed to you, he loves you for you.  For your personality and character, and not just as object to project his fantasies on.

Third, I'm certain that's he very happy with the 3 stone you've gained and it's quite likely that he was subtly encouraging you to eat more.  He should apologize for this.  It was probably impossible for him not to, as I know from personal experience that I can't really help it.  The person doesn't even have to be my significant other.  I've even encouraged a male friend of mine who had put on weight to eat more, even though I'm heterosexual and had no sexual interest in him.  It just makes me happy to see others enjoy food and gives me satisfaction to see them grow plumper.  My girlfriend has compared me to a Chinese grandmother who feels the need to fatten up her grandchildren and constantly keep them fed.  Nevertheless, your boyfriend should be more transparent in your relationship.

Next, I don't think many feedist males can ever be sexually satisfied with a truly thin woman.  That said, most will be satisfied with a plump one.  She certainly doesn't have to be huge.  There's also a difference between having a feedist relationship and indulging in feedist fantasy.

One thing I will say, your sexual relationship will likely be a lot better if you're okay with keeping some of your extra weight.  That said, there's no reason you can't focus on improving health, diet and exercise!  I think most feeders aren't bothered by their partner getting regularly exercise, they just like to see them eat a good meal when they get done.  And like I said, to indulge the fantasy you don't have to be a feedee.  You can eat healthy and exercise throughout the week, but spend a day once and awhile indulging yourself around him.

Maybe some of his fantasies involve huge, out of shape women, but I suspect he'll be perfectly happy with a healthy and plump woman who's not afraid to eat dessert now and again.

Finally, satisfaction with your own body is going to matter almost more than anything else.  I might be with a woman who's soft, cute, curvy and sexy, but when I learn that she hates her body, it kills the attraction.  If you can find confidence in your body, your partner will find you attractive regardless of your weight.

[Guest DailyDose]

It is wrong that he hid this for so long, I agree. However this sort of "preference" is obviously shunned by a lot of people for many reasons, which places tons of pressure and temptations for anyone to want to hide it. It was wrong too if he decided to push you into gaining without you knowing.

 

That being said - he has been with you for many years now. He loves you and he wouldn't stay with you just for serving a single fetish. You probably know his likes and dislikes, hobbies, etc. and bond at least on some of those things. I know you must be very shocked but please don't let it ruin everything. Judging from my own experiences in this "world", it really can be difficult to come out with anything - probably more than most other "preferences" even though in most cases it can be healthy and "normal" when done properly.

He should apologize for hiding all this if it's all true, but please try to understand how he may have felt intensely anxious to suppress it from you and hide in the realm of fantasy. Indeed, to a certain extent he may have even been subconsciously encouraging you to gain weight without really thinking about it. If there's one thing this "community" teaches, it's that minds are incredibly complex and layered and we often don't really know ourselves that well. So I would have a peaceful, calm, tempered 1-on-1 discussion with him as your lover to talk about all this and settle what he truly desires and how you two should be honest with each other from now on, and what can improve. Let him show his love for you with nothing to hide, and judge from there. Personally, I believe you may be relieved at the end because I'm sure he would never want anything but your happiness.

For a LOT of us it is incredibly difficult if not seemingly impossible to ever get rid of these desires and fondness for larger girls - even when we may still adore thin ones and all sizes! - and it can be a curse sometimes. For most, it's been in our minds since we were very little. Yet we're still often normal people with this quirk. So above all please try to understand that when talking to him.

[Guest ranthrg]

I'm very sorry to hear of your situation.

I'm a male with a strong fetish for female weight gain I have no control over it and I don't understand it. It is just who I am and I've had it from a very young age. Aside from it I am a pretty normal person. I am still  attracted to slimmer women and because of the lifestyle i lead and values i have I tend to be romantically attracted to slimmer women. It is a situation that has caused a beautiful long term relationship to fail.

I think your partner made a mistake not telling you abut his fetish, but be in no doubt that despite his fetish  he can still love and be attracted to you. That he has chosen to make a lasting relationship work with you shows a genuine love for your personality. I think that if he has manipulated you into to gaining weight, he has behaved in an unreasonable way. Though, perhaps, it shows a real commitment to you.  Only you can decide how to react to this based on your feelings 

The truth is that his fetish will never go away and he will always need to satisfy it some way. But that doesn't mean that he can't love and be attracted to you. You will have to accept this for the relationship to work. He maybe able to separate his fetish from his sexual relationship with you. If this is the case you will have to accept there is a little slice of his sexuality that will always be just for him. In my case I can't. A slim woman who I am physically and romantically attracted to can go long way, but my fetish is so integrated in my sexuality I can't be truly satisfied without somehow acknowledging it. In this case, for the relationship to work, you and your partner will have to accept and understand this. If you really want the relationship work, you may be able to find some fun and inventive ways to fill this gap!

As someone who has been in your husbands situation I hope that you can you are able to understand his situation.I really wish I could be "normal" and I'm sure partner feels the same. 

 

Follow your heart and best wishes.

 

 

 

Edited April 15, 2018 by ranthrg
i wanted to add more

[hiro]

You have to deal with the fact that he is pushing you to gain weight, even if he isn't doing it directly. If you don't accept the behavior, he needs to stop.

You have to deal with the fact that he kept secrets. It is understandable that he wouldn't want to share these fantasies. However, five years is a long time, so there may be trust issues.

You have to deal with the fact that you will not completely satisfy him sexually. This is a common phenomenon, and most relationships rely on fantasy or are not completely monogamous.

After five years, you know that he wants to be with you. The fetish is not the most important thing to him, although it is important.

[Voluptuouslover]

All of this is extremely sound advice and responses.

i will tap in on what others have mentioned....attitude and fantasy/role play can become very strong within this fetish. I had a girl friend that was very open to my needs with this fetish....she happened to gain and was chunkier but she didn’t like getting to big....but she really played it up in the bedroom with talk and teasing to my fetish...acting like she was going to get really fat because she couldn’t stop eating and knowing how that got me going.  She really didn’t want to gain any more weight but the weight she had already gained coupled with her weight gain teasing drive my wild.....so there are things that can be done to satisfy both in the relationship with regard to this fetish.  Obviously she had a good personality for this....you might not be able to dive into it like this...idk?

[Anonandscared]

Hi everyone, thank you so much for your responses. I can assure you that, despite my shock, I greeted his revelation of a feeding fetish with nothing but support, love, and understanding.

However, it was revealed to me that he was intentionally feeding me extra food. His kink appears to be the 'I really shouldn't eat this but I want it so I will' feeling. So he would add extra biscuits to my plate knowing I wouldn't put them back in a packet, or purposely buy food in which I felt I had little control in eating  -'moreish' foods. The real issue here (apart from the obvious non-consent) is that I have developed an eating disorder in relation to this. I go through periods of bingeing followed by restriction - as I am writing this, it has been two days since I have eaten.

Indeed, at one point during our relationship, I was so upset about my size I was suicidal. I was in tears, I told him I couldn't even bear to look at myself in the mirror anymore, and I refused to be naked around him (even to change). He continued to secretly feed me and receive sexual satisfaction from doing it.

I have asked him to leave - not because of the fetish which, while I couldn't consent to engaging in I could accept it was part of his identity - but because the secret feeding despite my mental decline tells me that his fetish was more important to him than my health. I feel disgusted in my own skin, I feel used and betrayed, and most importantly, I feel heartbroken. All the little things he brought me to show me how much he cared, all the dinners he cooked and takeaways he got 'just because'- it was all about him fulfilling a sexual need, not about appreciating me or loving me.

I'm sure many in this community are nice people (indeed, everyone online here has been incredibly helpful), I cannot help feeling that in my partners case, his control of my diet and size, his lies and manipulation, and his complete disregard for my physical and mental health point to this being an abusive relationship, rather than a loving one. I could accept the fetish, I could agree to incorporate it into our sex lives in a consensual way, but I cannot be with anyone that would harm me to make themselves feel good.

Thank you all again for your help, and I hope you all continue to love who you want, how you want - CONSENTUALLY. ❤

[Avataг]

38 minutes ago, Anonandscared said:

I feel disgusted in my own skin, I feel used and betrayed, and most importantly, I feel heartbroken. All the little things he brought me to show me how much he cared, all the dinners he cooked and takeaways he got 'just because'- it was all about him fulfilling a sexual need, not about appreciating me or loving me.

Did you try to confront him? Maybe he is torn apart between loving you and the urge to fulfill his sexual needs.

[Anonandscared]

 

49 minutes ago, Avataг said:

Did you try to confront him? Maybe he is torn apart between loving you and the urge to fulfill his sexual needs.

I told him all this. I have confronted him completely and I think you are right in that these two things have clashed. Unfortunately, it appears his sexual needs took priority over his love for me. Instead of loving me enough to trust me, he used me for non consensual sexual activity which has had a negative physical and psychological impact.

[Guest fishmish]

1 hour ago, Anonandscared said:

Thank you all again for your help, and I hope you all continue to love who you want, how you want - CONSENTUALLY. ❤

I think you've made the right move. It's best to end the relationship. While it's not impossible to repair the damage, I think the situation is fragile enough that you might just end up even worse.  Your mental health is more important than anything. Love yourself, heal yourself.

[Avataг]

21 hours ago, Anonandscared said:

I told him all this. I have confronted him completely and I think you are right in that these two things have clashed. Unfortunately, it appears his sexual needs took priority over his love for me. Instead of loving me enough to trust me, he used me for non consensual sexual activity which has had a negative physical and psychological impact.

You came here for help understanding this fetish, so I won't try to give you advice how to proceed in your relationship. And please, don't misunderstand me, I don't want to defend your partner or justify his actions. But I can tell you that it's a near daily struggle for me not to put pressure on my partner to eat more. I unintentionally notice what she's eating and my fetish (inner demon, I don't care what you call it) wants her to eat more. It takes a lot of control not to press her too hard with my urge for her to be bigger. I have good days, where I manage to keep the balance between my sexual needs and her being the self-determined women I love and respect. And there's the bad days, when I'm pissed off and behave like an asshole cause she doesn't eat as much as I like her to. On these days, I hate myself for being that way and fortunately, I don't have these bad days very often.

I hope that little insight in my feelings with that fetish helps you at least a little bit. I wish you all the best for your life and hope you make the right decision.

[Anonandscared]

On 16/04/2018 at 5:34 PM, Avataг said:

You came here for help understanding this fetish, so I won't try to give you advice how to proceed in your relationship. And please, don't misunderstand me, I don't want to defend your partner or justify his actions. But I can tell you that it's a near daily struggle for me not to put pressure on my partner to eat more. I unintentionally notice what she's eating and my fetish (inner demon, I don't care what you call it) wants her to eat more. It takes a lot of control not to press her too hard with my urge for her to be bigger. I have good days, where I manage to keep the balance between my sexual needs and her being the self-determined women I love and respect. And there's the bad days, when I'm pissed off and behave like an asshole cause she doesn't eat as much as I like her to. On these days, I hate myself for being that way and fortunately, I don't have these bad days very often.

I hope that little insight in my feelings with that fetish helps you at least a little bit. I wish you all the best for your life and hope you make the right decision.

Thanks, because you are helping me understand it better. Can I ask of your girlfriend is aware of your fetish though? Because in that case, she has the option of consenting. I was never given that option. It's been 4 days since I had anything that isn't water because I feel like my body has been taken advantage of and now all food would be like going back to that feeling.

[Avataг]

13 minutes ago, Anonandscared said:

Thanks, because you are helping me understand it better. Can I ask of your girlfriend is aware of your fetish though? Because in that case, she has the option of consenting. I was never given that option. It's been 4 days since I had anything that isn't water because I feel like my body has been taken advantage of and now all food would be like going back to that feeling.

Wife We have now been together for 21 years. I love her, no matter what size or shape she is, but discovered about eight years ago, that I like her a bit thicker. I never really thought about it and it didn't matter to me (I was always attracted by women with larger boobs, though), but that year it came to my mind how I like my woman to be. It took a bit more time for me to get clear about my feelings and needs and then I finally opened myself to her in 2012. We since had a few arguments, where we both made our positions clear and she gained about 20 kg. And yet, I would like her to gain even more, which causes this conflict within me and between my wife and me.

[Guest fishmish]

59 minutes ago, Anonandscared said:

Thanks, because you are helping me understand it better. Can I ask of your girlfriend is aware of your fetish though? Because in that case, she has the option of consenting. I was never given that option. It's been 4 days since I had anything that isn't water because I feel like my body has been taken advantage of and now all food would be like going back to that feeling.

Make sure you don't fall into a dangerous, disordered eating pattern. Currently you're on a 4 day fast, which is actually just fine. Fasting, abstaining from food intake altogether, puts your body in ketosis and actually has a great many upsides to your health. Chronic low levels of caloric consumption (starvation), on the other hand, wreaks havoc on your body, and never puts your body in full ketosis. People are going to disagree with me on this, but I'm generally anti-diet but pro-fasting.

I'm not a doctor, so take my advice with a grain of salt, but if you really dislike where you are in terms of weight and would like to reset your body weight and set point to where you were before gaining weight, look into prolonged fasting for weight loss. Depending on their starting weight, humans can actually fast quite a long period of time. You might also find it psychologically or spiritually healing too. Intermittent fasting is great as well, but you have to be careful considering your history of eating disorder so that it doesn't become a binge-starve cycle. I'm not sure I'd recommend IF (intermittent fasting) until you have your disordered eating under control. It's also possible that prolonged fasting might be a terrible idea considering your past experience.

For real healing and improvement, seek out a professional who has knowledge to help you improve your mental health and patterns of disordered eating.

[Observer10]

I've held back from responding in this thread because it became apparent that multiple subjects are in play here – but I can tell you’re hurting and that pains me, so here goes:

      1)  the natural appreciation and preference, albeit a minority view, of some men for fuller sized women is not a “fetish,” but a hardwired fact.  In my case it began as a younger child, although I was not my teens before I realized I was different.  Unlike some who stayed in the closet I was openly preferential towards full figured girls throughout junior and high school, while being friendly towards and dating less fulsome ones as well. Over the years I've met other men who re similarly wired, as well as many more with larger spouses who simply aren't that focused on the topic. I ultimately married a then size 22 sweetheart with whom mutual interests were shared and we’re still together ddcdes later with grandkids.  I’ve never tried to force her to eat or gain and have supported her in eating a healthy diet – but she knows my preference.

       2) Another topic: we live in a society where fatness is, in the minds of some, falsely  associated with universal ill health and out of control habits, as though the one is universally the inevitable consequence caused by the other,  This of course is nonsense – along with the idea that being slender is a natural state for everyone. So is the idea that people can eat poorly and not exercise while expecting to remain healthy. A more nuanced approach to the topic of size is needed along with eliminating societal acceptability of stereotyping people of size. You don’t need to be a FA or FFA to embrace eliminating this bias which affects relationships, job opportunities, etc.

      3)  Control issues: Tricking and/or forcing others to be any size isn’t right any more than condemning a preference or size.  I’m not against people having private fantasies but to project those dress onto others in real life is wrong, I share both your feelings and those of others about such behavior. I think most on Curvage would agree. Your ex-boyfriend needs counseling and help; I feel you need to get back into circulation without guilt. 

You came here asking to help better understand the pro-BBW culture – hopefully the above helps. That said, please don’t put all men who prefer (or who are not that concerned about) larger sized partners in the same boat that you found yourself in. We aren’t.

[Anonandscared]

17 minutes ago, Avataг said:

Wife We have now been together for 21 years. I love her, no matter what size or shape she is, but discovered about eight years ago, that I like her a bit thicker. I never really thought about it and it didn't matter to me (I was always attracted by women with larger boobs, though), but that year it came to my mind how I like my woman to be. It took a bit more time for me to get clear about my feelings and needs and then I finally opened myself to her in 2012. We since had a few arguments, where we both made our positions clear and she gained about 20 kg. And yet, I would like her to gain even more, which causes this conflict within me and between my wife and me.

If she didn't gain weight, would you have left her? My (ex)partner want just like women 'a little thicker', he likes women of about 600lbs. He said he would never want me to get that big, but I' already 3st heavier than before and that was done without my consent.  Now I've asked him to leave, I also realised he controlled all the money and my social life. I'm sorry, because I'm sure admitting to a fetish must be incredibly difficult, but from my perspective it just feels like 5 years of abuse, coercion and betrayal.

[Anonandscared]

5 minutes ago, Observer10 said:

I've held back from responding in this thread because it became apparent that multiple subjects are in play here – but I can tell you’re hurting and that pains me, so here goes:

      1)  the natural appreciation and preference, albeit a minority view, of some men for fuller sized women is not a “fetish,” but a hardwired fact.  In my case it began as a younger child, although I was not my teens before I realized I was different.  Unlike some who stayed in the closet I was openly preferential towards full figured girls throughout junior and high school, while being friendly towards and dating less fulsome ones as well. Over the years I've met other men who re similarly wired, as well as many more with larger spouses who simply aren't that focused on the topic. I ultimately married a then size 22 sweetheart with whom mutual interests were shared and we’re still together ddcdes later with grandkids.  I’ve never tried to force her to eat or gain and have supported her in eating a healthy diet – but she knows my preference.

       2) Another topic: we live in a society where fatness is, in the minds of some, falsely  associated with universal ill health and out of control habits, as though the one is universally the inevitable consequence caused by the other,  This of course is nonsense – along with the idea that being slender is a natural state for everyone. So is the idea that people can eat poorly and not exercise while expecting to remain healthy. A more nuanced approach to the topic of size is needed along with eliminating societal acceptability of stereotyping people of size. You don’t need to be a FA or FFA to embrace eliminating this bias which affects relationships, job opportunities, etc.

      3)  Control issues: Tricking and/or forcing others to be any size isn’t right any more than condemning a preference or size.  I’m not against people having private fantasies but to project those dress onto others in real life is wrong, I share both your feelings and those of others about such behavior. I think most on Curvage would agree. Your ex-boyfriend needs counseling and help; I feel you need to get back into circulation without guilt. 

You came here asking to help better understand the pro-BBW culture – hopefully the above helps. That said, please don’t put all men who prefer (or who are not that concerned about) larger sized partners in the same boat that you found yourself in. We aren’t.

Don' worry, I really don't. Love who you want. It's not his love of larger women that has upset me. Indeed, even if his feederism had remained a fantasy and limited to pornographic content, I would have been fine. He said he was into stomachs - I thought about how I could incorporate into the bedroom. He said he liked seeing women eating to excess - I started to think about how I could do it without compromising my own health and body acceptance. But when I found out he was already feeding me without my consent, I had to draw the line, because that is controlling behaviour.

I also have a 13 year old daughter (8 when I met my partner) and part of me worries he was doing it to her as well. I'm sickened by the thought, but I know on regular occasions he would encourage her to eat 'just a little more'. It makes me shudder.

[Avataг]

3 minutes ago, Anonandscared said:

If she didn't gain weight, would you have left her?

 

26 minutes ago, Avataг said:

I love her, no matter what size or shape she is

 

On 16.4.2018 at 6:34 PM, Avataг said:

and her being the self-determined women I love and respect

 

That thought never accoured to me, not for a single moment.

[Anonandscared]

Just now, Avataг said:

That thought never accoured to me, not for a single moment.

Thanks - Sorry it must have sounded like I was being judging there - I really was just asking an honest question because I was wondering if I was thin and stated thin, could my ex ever be happy or would he be closing off a part of his identity. Didn't mean to cause any offence, sorry.

[Avataг]

2 minutes ago, Anonandscared said:

Thanks - Sorry it must have sounded like I was being judging there - I really was just asking an honest question because I was wondering if I was thin and stated thin, could my ex ever be happy or would he be closing off a part of his identity. Didn't mean to cause any offence, sorry.

I did not take it as an offence. If I believe your description of his person, I see little that resembles me. And please, you do not have to apologize. You have come unprepared into a situation where you would have needed loving support instead of an outrageous obsession.

[Guest fishmish]

3 hours ago, Anonandscared said:

Now I've asked him to leave, I also realised he controlled all the money and my social life.

Social life and money too? Sounds like sexual fetish may just be the tip of the iceberg. Getting out of that relationship is for the best.

[Wagimawr]

On 4/17/2018 at 1:57 PM, Anonandscared said:

I also have a 13 year old daughter (8 when I met my partner) and part of me worries he was doing it to her as well. I'm sickened by the thought, but I know on regular occasions he would encourage her to eat 'just a little more'. It makes me shudder.

This right here is a red line in the sand, for sure. Combined with everything else, you absolutely did the right thing giving this guy the boot right out the door.

I would start looking into the possibility of therapy for yourself, if not her too. You need to get some of this out to a professional before any kind of eating disorder can fully take hold. Just remember: this is not your fault and you haven't done anything wrong.

This guy is the type that makes other feeders look like predators. Good riddance to him, and good luck to you.

[John Smith]

You don't really need some advice from ours. He didn't tell you about his inclinations in five years of relationship, but fed you in the meantime regardless your own concern or health (I mean, I can understand a man try to feed subtlely the woman he'd pass some time within, I did it myself. But it impacted on your health: at such point, he would already stop his game... by the way, five years!) .

Just do what you have to do: pull off the cards on the table. And let him know what you are really thinking about this.

[Anonandscared]

Guys, final update for you all.

Firstly, I have managed to eat a bit of toast. It's not much, but it is progress.

Secondly, I have taken advice from all of you, and from close friends. I decided his actions were abusive, although he may not see it that way. A good analogy was one my friend came up with - an act of grooming. I liked the attention and the gifts, but had no idea that there was a sexual element inherent to them, much like a child will accept toys and praise without realising something more sinister is happening (FYI I do not think BBW or feeder/feedee is anything even remotely similar to child abuse - it is simply that this analogy works in this context).

Finally, I spoke to my ex. He is not sexually interested in my daughter or any child (a massive relief), and has never tried to hide extra sugar in my tea or powders in my food etc (another worry I had). He believed that providing me with food I liked meant that it was okay to be sexually aroused by it's consumption, because it wasn't being forced on me (I could say no at any time). Once I explained using the grooming analogy, I think it became more clear to him that I could never consent to something I didn't know was happening. Furthermore, he admitted that he knew it was something I wouldn't consent to if he did tell me, and so did it anyway but hid it behind these acts of supposed kindness. We have split up, but he has agreed to seek counselling as he understands his negative behaviour. I have told him that if he can learn not to be ashamed of his fetish and embrace who he is, he may find that these manipulative selfish behaviours also become absolved in the process. 

Extra Finally, I told him if I really see him put in work to change his behaviour and rectify his negative patterns, then we may be able to work through things - however I will always be in charge of my own bodily autonomy. But he may also decide to move on and find a larger woman with a wonderful personality who makes him happy and consents to a feeder/feedee relationship. In which case I wish him the best in accepting who he is.

 

This has been one hell of a journey. I did not even know the term feeder this time last week, and now I've read every psychological article, visited every web page and forum, and spoken to some wonderful and understanding people- including you wonderful folks. I want to tell you all just how much I appreciate each one of you for helping me through such a hard time. You're all such wonderful people I almost feel sad to be leaving, but I like my partners male and my body skinny, so I don't think this site is for me unfortunately!

Thank you all once again for your kindness. Much Love,

 

AnonandStrong ❤💪

[Guest DailyDose]

Thanks for your story and understanding. All I really can say is you should try not to think in such legalistic terms with relationships. Obviously consent is a part of love but our culture, especially in the past decade or so, has really made relationships more like a business transaction with a veneer of eros rather than something sacred. I just had to comment that because it's a bit concerning and offputting for me.

 

If you have a problem with someone, don't think in such terms like "autonomy" like you're a province trying to loosen off from a big nation. It doesn't feel right and can snowball into the erasure of real love from our culture.