Are we all just extremely sick? (trigger warnings)

[Guest DailyDose]

I just read over this entire thread and experienced some sort of self-reflective mind shock, haha.

 

I wish I didn't love fat so much.

[extra_m13]

i think nothing good can came out of this conversation, we just like fat girls, we dont force anyone, just enjoy it

[GayGayButch]

Very interesting thread, never thought i'd see something like that 'round here.

Honestly, i don't feel guilty at all, mostly bc i'm not quite into that immobility, SSBBW stuff. I like chubby, slightly obese normal girls, like we see everyday, everywhere. And fat people can be healthy too.

But anyway, life is short, if being massive and immobile is what makes you happy, go for it, just don't ruin other people's lifes, that's totally sick.

[Jabba Desilijic Tiure]

16 hours ago, extra_m13 said:

i think nothing good can came out of this conversation, we just like fat girls, we dont force anyone, just enjoy it

If you consider "nothing good" to be a rather productive and engaging dialogue attempting to justify and rationalize a common behavioral trait among almost if not all of us which most of the world's populace sees as harmful, dangerous, and frequently downright demented, then I will be happy to respect your opinion for what it is...but in turn, I'll humbly request you (re?)read my OP and some of the ensuing replies prior to oversimplifying the somewhat elaborate concept I initially put forth down to "just liking fat girls". 

[Guest maxlikesfat]

On 10/28/2017 at 6:43 PM, Sons of Windsor said:

My preferences are hard to pin down, and I still don't fully understand what arouses me, but I seem to have a fetish for weight gain - though not feederism. If that makes sense. Like, watching footage of beautiful women eating does nothing for me. But watching a compilation of videos/photos that show the same women getting bigger over time, that's hugely stimulating. Women are naturally chubbier than men and when they gain weight their curves all accrue in such a... womanly way, from their hips, to their bums, to their thighs, and so on. So I definitely don't hate women, I think I'm just really in love with their shapes.

I should also stress that my fetish is also largely fantasy based. I often imagine women gaining massive amounts of weight, unrealistically so, like in those Deviant Art comics. There are massive women I regularly masturbate to, but when I see women of an equivalent size in real life I'm not interested. Curiously, I'm much more attracted to slimmer women in person than I am when looking at porn (though by slim I mean still curvy/chubby, just not super-morbidly obese). The most arousing weight gain period for me is also in the early stage, for example Goddess Shar. She's gone from rake-thin to chubby and that's absolutely sexy as hell. Ten times more arousing that seeing, say, BBW Adeline go from 400+ to over 500. 

Although there are times when my fetish can have a bit of a 'dark passenger' element to it. There's a girl working in my local supermarket who's very attractive and I've noticed she's putting on a bit of weight. But she also looks tired and stressed and fed up and oddly that's arousing to me. Sometimes I fantasise about women being too tired to look after their bodies, eating fatty processed ready meals as a result. Something about that real lack of discipline/control to adhere to a diet or to eat healthy really gets me going. Like, a woman will spend hours getting ready to go out. She'll curl her hair, apply make up, buy news shoes and a dress, but one thing they absolutely will resist is to eat well and try to slim down. 

The whole chubby-chasing thing is a harmless cultural trait in human societies. It's natural for man to crave chubby women. Cave paintings show grossly obese women thousands of years ago in Europe, probably because it was harsh to get the calories in on the freezing mammoth steppe. The obsession with thinness now is purely about status and intrasexual competition. Nowadays everything's inversed. It's easy to get fat, hard to stay thin, the opposite of the rest of man's evolution. Now, being thin shows desirable mate qualities because of our awareness of what healthy eating/exercise has on health, it also shows hard work, a willingness to look after one's self, and so on. The feed-until-immobile thing is probably just a dark corruption of the aforementioned trait. Although I'll admit my evolutionary and anthropology knowledge is limited to a few books by Jared Diamond, Edward O. Wilson, Richard Dawkings, David M. Buss and a few others. The feed-until-immobile desire is one of those weird traits like transgenderism and paedophilia that can't readily be explained. Why would such traits be apparent in the gene pool? What purposes could they serve to the benefit or the individual, or group? If anyone knows, I'd be really interested to find out. 

That's the story of my life. Weight gain gets me so excited, especially in porn but in person I'm more attracted to normal size women because I want to see them get fat. I don't know how to go about it because I'm very fit and care about health. Something about a miserable fat woman who just gains weight is so arousing, especially if she complains about it. The best is when they get stuck in a chair, God help me. One of my coworkers was an attractive blond and she just blew up because of her pasta & beer diet. She doesn't talk to me much anymore because she's really embarrassed about it, she probably thinks I'm going to force her to workout. Another coworker is a BBW. Thank God she changed to a different shift because she would of cheated on her boyfriend. She has a medical condition that makes her gain weight really easy and she talks about it all the time! Doesn't help that I find it really interesting and that's all we talk about! At this rate she's going to be waddling in a few years! If I ever see her at that stage, it's over, we're fucking. 

[PreyToGod]

Very late to the party but this is my 2 cents;

Preface: none of this is predicated on any actual study, it's just me taking an educated stab.

I honestly believe that attraction to larger specimens is some sort of vestige of a bygone era when the fecund women were the most voluptuous - due to the extra weight offering something of a survival advantage during gestation until relatively recently. Perhaps then, the 'belly' fascination stems from a subconscious fondness for the typical pregnant figure? Certainly many cultures appear to have a predilection for more corpulent women - and it seems as though the further back you trace, the more desired this body type becomes. Besides, the far shorter overall lifespans meant that many of the life threatening ramifications of obesity wouldn't have had time to take effect - not to mention maintaining that weight would be an near impossible feat for hunter/gatherers. Effectively it was just a tangible augury of a successful or promising pregnancy.  Incidentally, the fact that some ambient sounds (such as that of certain sea shells ) can have a somatic effect on us through supposedly through mimicking the sound of the womb , and the ubiquitous comfort from floating in warm water (i.e. baths) is almost certainly based on similar grounds.  

I know this theory seems a bit specious, but it's one of the few i've settled on that can begin to rationalize this attraction to plumpness and pregnancy which is downright bizarre in a modern context. 

For instance, I've actually moderated over time as I know only really prefer relatively chubby girls (say 20kg> overweight), but i distinctly remember the first fateful moment occured when i was 8 years old and one of the teachers was pregnant but used to wear basically crop tops , and i couldn't understand why i was allured to that image. Then several years later I remember looking up pregnant/fat girls on youtube (would've been around 2006) after school and deleting the history so i knew even at age 11 or whatever that type of content was abnormal.That sort of developed into a infatuation with bigger girls that lasted a few years - and now over the past 4 or so years it's abated to the point where i'm now virtually just as attracted to girls of normal weight. Facial attractiveness/skin/hair etc is also desideratum - if a girl's hot she's hot, but if a girls hot AND she has a chubby stomach to go along with it ...and then if the rest of her body is lithe/toned it's all over red rover. Pregnant girls do nothing for me anymore, and i couldn't stand the thought of doing anything sexual with an actual BBW irl (i fucking hate fat legs more than anything). This surely sounds overly pedantic but i'm just relaying my preferences because i find it interesting how they've evolved over the years.

The real problem is that like you I'm a tall, fit guy who basically can't stand the thought of not having a defined six pack (call me conceited, you're probably right) ...so essentially FA is antithetic to my own principles, but like the veritable forbidden fruit, i believe that is part of the allure. 

And of course i've tried several times to relinquish all traces of this fetish - by deleting all content/accounts associated with it, by doing nofap, by forcing myself to try and masturbate over anorexic models (like shock therapy or some shit) you name it, but it's remained. Perhaps it always will. Certainly the fact that it onset at age 8 , before i even knew what my dick was capable of, suggests that it may be innate, and inexorable.  

Then i start to feel guilty for even trying to overcome it, when i consider that maybe it's just a part of my psyche and i should learn to embrace it - and that it's less harmless than many more popular fetishes (at least my vein of it is). But yeah, the thought of somebody eating themselves to a significantly early grave, and dying an unrecognizable, bloated, bed sore-ridden mass of flesh sickens me to the core. Anybody who spurs on that sort of activity is seriously perverse and abjectly selfish.  I don't care what anybody claims, i dont think that anybody can be happy when they're confined to a fucking bed and unable to even venture to their mailbox. To clarify - i'm not deploring these people purely because they're attracted to this - since as i just reasoned, this all seems quite inherit- but encouraging (and genuinely wishing for) girls to reach this immobile state (and knowing full well the fate) is disgusting. Likewise, anyone that suddenly desires to go from normal weight to SSBBW is almost certainly suffering from some form of psychopathology - if not clinical then woefully low self-esteem or something undiagnosed. Yes, on the one hand, their gain can ostensibly make all parties involved happy and its all cakes and compliments, but that's a really reductionist way of looking at it, and the reality is so much more grim. The model may feel empowered or appreciated for the first time in a long time (potentially even their lives), but it's all rooted in fetishism not genuine admiration, much less solicitude, which is a little tragic - and this bleak epiphany is one of the reasons why i think some seemingly drop off the face of the earth, though i digress. 

Ultimately , like all fetishes, this one is natural but abnormal. We can't change the hand we've been dealt, but we have control over how we play it.  I don't believe we're sick for having a FA fetish - even if that involves 600lb amorphous girls, but i expect one to exercise restraint and refrain from encouraging behavior that is clearly going to lay someone to rest way prematurely, even if your primitive mind / id is advising you to go for it. To me that's kind of similar to a pedophile refraining from acting on their depraved impulses. You could take the notion of moral luck even further than i have in accepting the existence of such fetishes and say that for anyone to act on their perverse impulses even upon knowing the consequences indicates how intense and irrepressible they must have been - but that sentiment is a very slippery slope and could really be used to justify any sort of malicious behavior ever. 

I'll be impressed if anyone has read this far,  and apologize for the periphrastic nature of it considering how tired i am right now / i started writing before i had any idea what i was going to say really. 

TL;DR Are we all just extremely sick?  Not necessarily, but potentially. imo.

[Jabba Desilijic Tiure]

On 11/24/2017 at 5:14 AM, PreyToGod said:

Very late to the party but this is my 2 cents;

Preface: none of this is predicated on any actual study, it's just me taking an educated stab.

I honestly believe that attraction to larger specimens is some sort of vestige of a bygone era when the fecund women were the most voluptuous - due to the extra weight offering something of a survival advantage during gestation until relatively recently. Perhaps then, the 'belly' fascination stems from a subconscious fondness for the typical pregnant figure? Certainly many cultures appear to have a predilection for more corpulent women - and it seems as though the further back you trace, the more desired this body type becomes. Besides, the far shorter overall lifespans meant that many of the life threatening ramifications of obesity wouldn't have had time to take effect - not to mention maintaining that weight would be an near impossible feat for hunter/gatherers. Effectively it was just a tangible augury of a successful or promising pregnancy.  Incidentally, the fact that some ambient sounds (such as that of certain sea shells ) can have a somatic effect on us through supposedly through mimicking the sound of the womb , and the ubiquitous comfort from floating in warm water (i.e. baths) is almost certainly based on similar grounds.  

I know this theory seems a bit specious, but it's one of the few i've settled on that can begin to rationalize this attraction to plumpness and pregnancy which is downright bizarre in a modern context. 

For instance, I've actually moderated over time as I know only really prefer relatively chubby girls (say 20kg> overweight), but i distinctly remember the first fateful moment occured when i was 8 years old and one of the teachers was pregnant but used to wear basically crop tops , and i couldn't understand why i was allured to that image. Then several years later I remember looking up pregnant/fat girls on youtube (would've been around 2006) after school and deleting the history so i knew even at age 11 or whatever that type of content was abnormal.That sort of developed into a infatuation with bigger girls that lasted a few years - and now over the past 4 or so years it's abated to the point where i'm now virtually just as attracted to girls of normal weight. Facial attractiveness/skin/hair etc is also desideratum - if a girl's hot she's hot, but if a girls hot AND she has a chubby stomach to go along with it ...and then if the rest of her body is lithe/toned it's all over red rover. Pregnant girls do nothing for me anymore, and i couldn't stand the thought of doing anything sexual with an actual BBW irl (i fucking hate fat legs more than anything). This surely sounds overly pedantic but i'm just relaying my preferences because i find it interesting how they've evolved over the years.

The real problem is that like you I'm a tall, fit guy who basically can't stand the thought of not having a defined six pack (call me conceited, you're probably right) ...so essentially FA is antithetic to my own principles, but like the veritable forbidden fruit, i believe that is part of the allure. 

And of course i've tried several times to relinquish all traces of this fetish - by deleting all content/accounts associated with it, by doing nofap, by forcing myself to try and masturbate over anorexic models (like shock therapy or some shit) you name it, but it's remained. Perhaps it always will. Certainly the fact that it onset at age 8 , before i even knew what my dick was capable of, suggests that it may be innate, and inexorable.  

Then i start to feel guilty for even trying to overcome it, when i consider that maybe it's just a part of my psyche and i should learn to embrace it - and that it's less harmless than many more popular fetishes (at least my vein of it is). But yeah, the thought of somebody eating themselves to a significantly early grave, and dying an unrecognizable, bloated, bed sore-ridden mass of flesh sickens me to the core. Anybody who spurs on that sort of activity is seriously perverse and abjectly selfish.  I don't care what anybody claims, i dont think that anybody can be happy when they're confined to a fucking bed and unable to even venture to their mailbox. To clarify - i'm not deploring these people purely because they're attracted to this - since as i just reasoned, this all seems quite inherit- but encouraging (and genuinely wishing for) girls to reach this immobile state (and knowing full well the fate) is disgusting. Likewise, anyone that suddenly desires to go from normal weight to SSBBW is almost certainly suffering from some form of psychopathology - if not clinical then woefully low self-esteem or something undiagnosed. Yes, on the one hand, their gain can ostensibly make all parties involved happy and its all cakes and compliments, but that's a really reductionist way of looking at it, and the reality is so much more grim. The model may feel empowered or appreciated for the first time in a long time (potentially even their lives), but it's all rooted in fetishism not genuine admiration, much less solicitude, which is a little tragic - and this bleak epiphany is one of the reasons why i think some seemingly drop off the face of the earth, though i digress. 

Ultimately , like all fetishes, this one is natural but abnormal. We can't change the hand we've been dealt, but we have control over how we play it.  I don't believe we're sick for having a FA fetish - even if that involves 600lb amorphous girls, but i expect one to exercise restraint and refrain from encouraging behavior that is clearly going to lay someone to rest way prematurely, even if your primitive mind / id is advising you to go for it. To me that's kind of similar to a pedophile refraining from acting on their depraved impulses. You could take the notion of moral luck even further than i have in accepting the existence of such fetishes and say that for anyone to act on their perverse impulses even upon knowing the consequences indicates how intense and irrepressible they must have been - but that sentiment is a very slippery slope and could really be used to justify any sort of malicious behavior ever. 

I'll be impressed if anyone has read this far,  and apologize for the periphrastic nature of it considering how tired i am right now / i started writing before i had any idea what i was going to say really. 

TL;DR Are we all just extremely sick?  Not necessarily, but potentially. imo.

Thanks, CJB!  I'll think about maybe taking it a bit easier on the other stuff I was talking about yesterday.  SPLIT was a really good movie, btw! 

[tw71]

I, too, am "late to the party" here -- but trying to read up on the comments because it's a great topic (if a tough one for some of us to look in the mirror and address).

For me? The bottom line is that nobody has the right to dictate what any other person does with or to their body. Each of us owns our own body and nobody else's, and we have the absolute right to do with our own as each of us pleases. It's quite clear that a segment of society elects to be overweight/obese by choice (even if that "choice" isn't so much what's expressed as it's a result of one's preferred lifestyle choices). I mean ... let's face it. If you go around saying, "I wish I was thinner." yet in reality, you hate working out and love food, and you don't even want to try to take diet pills or practice portion control? Then you're basically choosing to be heavier because for you, you're content with that option vs. what you would have to do to change it.

By the same token, I don't think there's anything "sick" or "wrong" with a person who finds overweight or obese people more attractive. Almost everyone has their vices that are statistically known to be "bad for you" and can reduce your lifespan or cause health issues. Heck -- maybe you're into parachute jumping? All it takes is ONE malfunction or mistake packing a parachute and that activity will lead to near certain instant death. But you know what? I used to know a couple of guys who were really into it and they found girlfriends/wives who were also into parachute jumping. That's how they met. So are any of them "sick" for liking such a risky hobby? I wouldn't say so.

If I'm just talking about MY personal interests? It's complicated, but I definitely have mental "boundaries" about what I find attractive and where those limits are. To over-simplify it? I'd say I've always found "thick" women way more attractive than skinny/slender gals. So the interest starts there for me ... with a thicker, curvier look. When you get into truly obese? Things change a bit for me. I start finding a fetish-y turn-on to some of the concepts, such as seeing just how much a big gal can eat or drink in a sitting or watching things around her react to her size (furniture bending/breaking under her, floors sagging under her feet, etc. etc.). But at the same time? I start losing interest in someone like that as a long-term relationship partner, because when you look past the fetish aspects -- that brings drastically reduced mobility, larger expenses on grocery bills, more potential medical issues, and other things I'd consider negatives in the "big picture" of living daily life with them.

I think that's probably where the "rub" is with SSBBW "admiration" online. If a really big woman is truly fine with her life choices regardless of having a committed partner, then awesome! If she's comfortable in her skin and wants to try to make a few bucks doing photo shoots or videos, even ... good for her, too! But the number of guys who would love to gaze at the latest SSBBW videos and talk about how "hot" they find them is a much larger percentage than the sub-set of guys from that group who'd actually be fine with such a person as "marriage material" or even for a long-term serious relationship. That's an awareness that I think everyone involved in this "community" needs to have and accept as "ok, and all part of the whole spectrum" of interest in it.

Ultimately, there's "someone for everyone". I've discovered, for example, that as I've always had a thing for strong/muscular women, it has an interesting crossing-over with a BBW attraction. I've had great relationships with women who were over 300lbs. but unusually strong. That tends to mean they're still pretty able to get out and about despite their size, which is kind of a "requirement" for me because I really *do* want to get out and see/do things in a relationship; not just sit around at home ALL the time. But it's also been kind of cool from a perspective of them using it as an outlet for some more "positive attention" in a general public that's not at all fat-friendly. (One of my ex g/f's, for example, used to get a kick out of picking me up and carrying me around at parties or out in public. As I'm around a 200lb. guy myself, that tended to get people's attention. For the two of us, it was kind of a fun challenge to see how long she could do it at a time. (We played a whole game of billiards against another couple at a bar, one time, with me riding her piggyback. I even had her squat down so I could line up a few shots and stand back up with me again.) Guys were complimenting her and checking out her legs at that point, forgetting any original thoughts she was just some unattractive "fat girl"!

 

[billw032991]

Also late to the party.  Firstly, I believe "nature" trumps "nurture" so my "condition" (kink/perversion/deviancy/obsession) is genetic.  I really don't have a choice in the matter and I accept that.  Secondly, I find this whole thing was more "exciting" when it was more "taboo". Now that it's becoming more and more mainstream I find myself desiring more and more extreme relations pushing the envelope past immobility and beyond. Thirdly, when I am with a really big girl (over 400 pounds) I feel a strange sense of "pride" and sort of want to say to people who stare at us "Yeah, she's huge and I can make her squirt, beat that!"

[scissortooth]

I haven't become interested in fat girls/women until early to mid teens. That being said, the first girl I had a crush one was plump. And later on... Well, fat girls start looking like women first and the first sexual thought I have in my early teens did apply to fat girls. I suppose the "sick" part of this whole thing only appeared in me in late teens when I encountered the whole feeder/feedee stuff and dreamed of doing that for a while, like fattening a slim girl to a 500 lbs SSBBW. Nowadays I seem to prefer the most the scenario of a woman who's already plump letting go and succumbing to her voracious tendencies up to the level of being very fat, but bit short of SSBBW territory - at least when it comes to realistic fantasies. I do fantasize sometimes of a woman being so out of control of her appetite that she'd reach the point of 500-550 lbs, but it's definitely not something I'd like to happen for real. I'd call 300-350 lbs the sweet spot - a woman who is very fat, but still able to live her life quite normally, apart from occasional creaking chair, size chart limitations at stores and difficulty fitting in some narrower spaces. Contrary to many guys here I'm not into unhealthy or gross aspects of the whole thing, like being out of breath, sweating, burping and the like... I like the look of a fat woman, her fullness, her softness, her round or at least rounded face, her extreme female shape (hence me liking hourglasses and then pears the most) and all the sensations related with her body - her butt spreading on my lap when she sits on it, burying my hands in her rolls, being able to grab her by her fat skin on the majority of her body, the wobble... And actually my love for all of that developed together with me having more physical contact with fat females - at least half of those things listed above I started appreciating only after meeting my wife.

So, I guess the origin of this stuff might differ in case of different people, but in my case it developed quite logically from a quite basic drive. I mean, I suppose in terms of female form  I have a similar perception of beauty as the guys 50k years ago, living in caves. I've always associated female fatness with motherliness, sexuality and fertility - even if the lattermost proves to be quite contrary to modern medical findings. I feel quite natural with it and in my case it never got fetishized to the point of me preferring a not-so-pretty fat girl to a pretty slim (just not very skinny) girl. I just find fatness a very desirable trait, high on my list but not the highest and I could definitely get by without it in a relationship (having another fetish/kink is probably a help here, and I have at least two more) - at least if a woman of my choice would be slim from the start, and if he would indulge at least a little on the front of those other kinks of mine.

I guess what helps me to perceive this kink of mine as quite "benign" is the fact that my wife, in spite of not being totally ok with it (she is to the extent of me liking her fat, not so much to the extent of me dreaming of her getting fatter), said she prefers me having this kink to stuff like wanting threesomes, peeing or anal sex.

As for fat being unhealthy - well, let's be honest, people are into a lot of unhealthy stuff, both sexual and other. Also, sometimes we adjust to each other in a relationship in ways that are not necessarily the most positive for us, but we do not hesitate because we either love each other and/or (at least) we know that the sacrifice is mutual and we consider the "trade" fair. I do not feel bad for wanting my wife to be fat or fatter than she is now, because I do not force her do it and I don't blackmail her emotionally into it. She knows I'd love it but I make sure she doesn't feel like our relationship is missing anything on my part because of her not being as fat as my "perfect imagination" of her is. Plus, like she said once herself, it is much easier to get fatter than thinner and it only gets more so with age, so my desires might end up working in her favour at some point   

TL;DR: I don't feel sick, I think that I just have a relatively benign kink. And I'd argue it's more acquired than genetic, unless I have some major evolutional baggage from 50 000 years ago

[Weightwatcher]

I saw perhaps the largest/fattest woman I have ever seen in the flesh so to speak today. She was no older than 30 and I would guess she weighed over 30 stone (420lbs) but she was short as well probably barely 5ft. And to be honest, I just felt sorry for her. She looked so uncomfortable, she climbed on to the bus and sat at the front in the area reserved for disabled passengers. When she was getting off she dropped her book on the floor and you see her looking panicky about it but fortunately the nearest passenger got down and picked it up for her. She looked like walking was a massive effort for her and I would estimate (as I sneaked a look back when I got to the bus station steps) that she was able to move at about a third of the speed of the next slowest person.

Obviously I didn't hang around to watch her climb the stairs but I did wonder how she would manage them and how she handles the heat. It was about 30 Celsius but it gets a fair bit hotter here in Australia. I realise some people will be turned on by this but it isn't my intention in posting it. But it did make me think about the physical limitations being that kind of weight places on someone. I heard someone mutter "poor thing" and that was pretty much how I felt.

But then some people probably think similar things about some of the women I am attracted to who whilst not as big as this lady are still large enough to cause themselves issues.

It won't stop me liking chubby/fat women but it did make me think a bit.

Sorry if I offended anyone posting that. Again not my intention.

[pin-up goblin]

On 9/24/2017 at 1:29 PM, John Smith said:

People like Rhonda Rousey or Plumpprincess are both living proofs that somebody may gaining an excessive amount of weight while remaining healthy.

 

If some people cannot... this is either because they won't, either because they can't. That said, this is only either a matter of lifelong choice or simply belittle to no interest to improve oneself their daily activity.

There also is the genetics factor. Not just about being fat, but some people, if they are fat, are more likely to get certain problems like diabetes, heart disease, etc. Not all fat people have those issues so there's got to be some sort of genetic component. 

[pin-up goblin]

On 12/15/2017 at 9:16 PM, Weightwatcher said:

I saw perhaps the largest/fattest woman I have ever seen in the flesh so to speak today. She was no older than 30 and I would guess she weighed over 30 stone (420lbs) but she was short as well probably barely 5ft. And to be honest, I just felt sorry for her. She looked so uncomfortable, she climbed on to the bus and sat at the front in the area reserved for disabled passengers. When she was getting off she dropped her book on the floor and you see her looking panicky about it but fortunately the nearest passenger got down and picked it up for her. She looked like walking was a massive effort for her and I would estimate (as I sneaked a look back when I got to the bus station steps) that she was able to move at about a third of the speed of the next slowest person.

Obviously I didn't hang around to watch her climb the stairs but I did wonder how she would manage them and how she handles the heat. It was about 30 Celsius but it gets a fair bit hotter here in Australia. I realise some people will be turned on by this but it isn't my intention in posting it. But it did make me think about the physical limitations being that kind of weight places on someone. I heard someone mutter "poor thing" and that was pretty much how I felt.

But then some people probably think similar things about some of the women I am attracted to who whilst not as big as this lady are still large enough to cause themselves issues.

It won't stop me liking chubby/fat women but it did make me think a bit.

Sorry if I offended anyone posting that. Again not my intention.

I think it makes you human. Obviously this woman is experiencing some form of distress based upon her weight. I think most sane people when faced with the prospect of a fellow human in a stressful situation aren't going to be turned on, but feel some empathy toward that person. I don't think the person felt comfortable in their skin. To me, that should matter in terms of finding the right partner.

[Guest enzo-bardi]

I have this fetish same fetish as most of you do, but I'm developing an interesting theory about it. I believe that fetishes can be related to past life trauma. 

I've written several pieces about it, but perhaps the most truthful is called 

I had posted it on the section "Women of curvage - pictures" as it is a real story and there may be some pictures later. But several members turned against me aggressively, when I had not offended them in any way other than posting my story. Ending up in my story being moved to the stories subsection, where it gets much less visibility. 

I believe there's a lot of fear related to this fetish. And a lot of power beyond my words, prospective power, as I'm not yet master of my own art.

I've written a short poem about this fear:

 

You are afraid of the sound of my voice

of the meaning and the depth behind my words

of the nakedness and the brightness of my truths

You are afraid of how I stir and awaken your soul

 

You are afraid of your own self

of being forced to confront your ego and your shadows to your inner truths

of putting down this wall you’ve built around your heart

and laying off this harsh mask of yours exposing your tender face to the world

 

And so you further raise this protective wall of yours

You shut off the mere mention of my name from your inner ears

Using sarcasm, irony and narrow-minded rationality to mock and discredit me

Thus preventing your soul from being lured by this chant of freedom

 

If you like my reading, if you are curious to read more about my stories and my theories, please do subscribe to my writer's blog https://erikvincentizakhia.com/ 

 

[Guest George1]

I'm super late to this topic and new to Curvage; this is actually my first comment - probably because I was emotionally motivated to do so.

I get the feeling that the OP is significantly stressed about his fetish - or at least was at the time of posting this, Lol - and wants an answer that will make everything better. But after wading through the trolls on this forum it is obvious that the answer isn't so cut and dry, and many other questions, good questions, have been raised. We as a group of people aren't all bad, but there are some rotten ones thrown in the mix of us. This is evident just by seeing the trolls (read bad people) that have posted here. But I firmly believe this fetish isn't all bad, and it disheartens me to see so many people talking about relationship problems because of their fetish.

I may be a bit biased in saying this since I have a seemingly healthy relationship where my twig of a girlfriend gained ~30 lbs over 7 years and is okay with my fetish, and I of course don't mean to trigger anyone, but it might be you yourself causing the problems, not your fetish. Obviously this isn't true in all cases, but relationships are hard, fetishes are easy. A relationship is a lot of work, and when you throw your kinks into the mix it just gets harder, but if you come across 'the one' and you actually love them, then your fetish doesn't matter anymore, because their happiness is more important to you than the pleasure you receive from any sort of sexual quirk. Establish a healthy relationship and put that person above you, and when they love you back, you owe it to them to be honest and become open with your fetish, since they will expect the truth out of you, and if they love you back it won't matter to them. If they gain or not won't matter to you because you have something greater than your fetish - and of course internet porn.  But you to will be able to make something work out.

In other words, like others have said on here in different ways, the key is to have your priorities straight. If your fetish is your top priority, you probably won't be as happy in life - and especially relationships - as you could be. It could even be mentally damaging in the end.

As to why we have a fat fetish, I would say it's mostly chance and operant conditioning. I once had a professor define fetish as an obsession for no reason, but I believe we received ours by seeing videos online or voluptuous women during the confusing time of puberty, doing you know what, enjoying it, and doing it again. Eventually our bodies got used to an orgasm occurring after seeing larger women. As to what attracted us to larger women in the first place, it could be curiosity, genetics, psychology, or just to deviate from society. But I know for sure the media pushing skinny women on society for so long has caused some it. You might have a natural attraction to girls with a few curves to them, which at one point - maybe not so much today - was considered wrong. Since you're already deviating you think, why not go a little further, a little curvier? And eventually thinking like that will end you up on Curvage.

Now as to if ssbbw encouragers are sick people, I can't really say. But if it's mutual and all members involved are enjoying it, couldn't you be considered the sick person for wanting to limit someone else's happiness? Like some sort of totalitarian ruler? Who are we to tell gainers to stop doing what makes them happy? That would probably just reinforce what they are already doing. However, I'm not a part of that community so I have no idea. I can say there is a part of me that is a bit disgusted by it, but different strokes for different folks ya know?

And finally, as to how the OP implied FAs are all a little bit sadistic, I don't believe that to be true either. It might be a separate fetish that some people here also have, but a girl gaining weight does not always have to do with bodily harm. In fact, if you read FA stories with copious amounts of weight gain, the author will often make up some outlandish reason as to why there are NO side effects, like scientific improvements in drugs, or magic, etc. This is because largely, we as a community do not want to see medical suffering among others.

Sorry for writing a book as my first comment, I just thought that maybe I could help someone deal with these issues.

[Guest An Optimist]

11 hours ago, George1 said:

11 hours ago, George1 said:

ssbbw encouragers are sick people

 

You don't get to be an ssbbw without being either a food addict or suffering from some sort of medical problem.

Enabling someone's addiction is bad enough. Getting off on it and deluding yourself into thinking it is love.. 

[Purtychubby]

On 10/30/2017 at 9:56 AM, extra_m13 said:

i think nothing good can came out of this conversation, we just like fat girls, we dont force anyone, just enjoy it

I have to disagree with this. I think as a chubby girl w the fetish, its refreshing to hear the OP actually think about the health aspect and what the girl is feeling - because I think about it all the time, and with all the guys that contact me about it obsessing about me getting fatter...It just gets overwhelming sometimes. You can really tell that some guys just see you as a body to feed or a body to get fatter. To me I feel like having this fetish is a blessing and a curse. I didn't gain weight on purpose although I knew it was happening and just didn't really give a shit.. Although I'm into the fetish, I think its more fantasy then reality for me, i think I rather sext about it. I just find that in real life, the pressure to gain from a guy just gets pretty annoying and I cant help asking all the questions that OP does. I love the way I look right now, and because I'm really good at sniffing out bullshit from guys, I know when someone is trying to manipulate me to gain weight. Also, sometimes I like going to the gym because the endorphins make me feel happy. Although I'm not psycho about the gym like I used to be, it makes me feel good, helps me think clearly, and gives me energy, and when someone doesn't want me to do that bc their dick gets limp.....then they can disappear for all I care. 

[maxmoon]

9 hours ago, Purtychubby said:

I have to disagree with this. I think as a chubby girl w the fetish, its refreshing to hear the OP actually think about the health aspect and what the girl is feeling - because I think about it all the time, and with all the guys that contact me about it obsessing about me getting fatter...It just gets overwhelming sometimes. You can really tell that some guys just see you as a body to feed or a body to get fatter. To me I feel like having this fetish is a blessing and a curse. I didn't gain weight on purpose although I knew it was happening and just didn't really give a shit.. Although I'm into the fetish, I think its more fantasy then reality for me, i think I rather sext about it. I just find that in real life, the pressure to gain from a guy just gets pretty annoying and I cant help asking all the questions that OP does. I love the way I look right now, and because I'm really good at sniffing out bullshit from guys, I know when someone is trying to manipulate me to gain weight. Also, sometimes I like going to the gym because the endorphins make me feel happy. Although I'm not psycho about the gym like I used to be, it makes me feel good, helps me think clearly, and gives me energy, and when someone doesn't want me to do that bc their dick gets limp.....then they can disappear for all I care. 

Totally agree with you Purtychubby. I have this fetish, and it is a dangerous fetish for both sides if you let it go too far. I've fed just one person in real life before and outside of the feeding, we had no connection or common bond whatsoever. The lack of connection left me feeling kind of empty afterwards and taught me a lesson that meaningful relationships are more than just a fetish. If you want to deeply connect with someone, there has to be a whole hell of a lot more there and to obsess over someone's body is just setting your relationship up for failure. There are also a lot of health and social repercussions that come with gaining weight. Going to the gym at least once in a blue moon is probably a good idea.

[_luvchubbygirls]

For me personally most aspects of the fetish are just a fantasy, and I definitely think there are a lot of gainers and feeders out there that go way too far. I mean, if you are with someone and you love them, why would you want them so big that they cannot walk, have a hundred health issues and be lucky to see 40. At lot of people just have to be real and not get completely consumed by their fetish. 

[John Smith]

3 hours ago, _luvchubbygirls said:

For me personally most aspects of the fetish are just a fantasy, and I definitely think there are a lot of gainers and feeders out there that go way too far. I mean, if you are with someone and you love them, why would you want them so big that they cannot walk, have a hundred health issues and be lucky to see 40. At lot of people just have to be real and not get completely consumed by their fetish. 

The basis of every "fetish" is to explore it and goes far... otherwise, the thrill just fade out.

[VivaPirosa]

You're really overthinking this, is this fetish unhealthy and can/will cost lives? Yes. Is it justifiable? No. Why do we have this fetish? Honestly who the fuck knows, fetish in of itself makes no sense - we are aroused to things we shouldn't a quick look at 4chan's /d/ will show you that people are into odd things like gross girls, vore, or parasites things we should not be aroused by because they do not have any benefit for our species but we do, we may not know that answer for a long time - the humans do have complicated brains after all. Personally I don't it whenever a fetish is brought up in a discussion they ask "why do you like [x]?" because then they're asking a question no one knows how to definitively answer for, the better question would be "what do you do you like and don't like about [x]?" because knowing what the other the person or people like or don't like and it gives you of course a clear idea on what they like and if you know what they like you'll have a better understanding on why they like it.

As for having a moral dilemma about liking girls gaining weight I'll touch on two things, one, why do we get angry when health is brought up as an argument as of why we should not like/have this fetish? Its basically the equivalent of someone telling you that your opinions are shit except they have proof why its shit so all you're left doing is autistically screeching into the void, we just want to have fun and we can't have fun while if we're constantly being told we shouldn't; I think most of us are aware to the fact that this fetish is unhealthy, either we push that fact to the back of our heads just so that we can enjoy fetish content guilt free or we just accept it for what it is. You can have a moral dilemma about this fetish all you want but the only thing that'll get you is stress and self-loathing.

[Jabba Desilijic Tiure]

This thread has really exceeded my expectations(for the most part) in terms of "getting somewhere".  I've read every word of every single response(for better or for worse), and even if I don't agree with you, I appreciate your contributions(save one tireless troll, whose dominating presence may have even influenced me into scaring an innocent participant away; you both would know who you are - so fuck you to hell, and I'm sorry if I was mistaken).

I'll try to come back later and address some of the recent points brought up, but keep the wonderful insights coming!  

[tw71]

Yep.... lots of good insight, so I too am glad this old thread hasn't just died out!

One more comment I wanted to make (and again, hope it's not too controversial!) ....  I've noticed that an awful lot of the female "feeders" who claim to be searching for someone to help feed them really just seem to be looking for a hand-out. I can't prove it, but I think I have a decent sense when I see someone "scamming" vs. truly expressing their wants and desires. And a lot of the profiles I see where they immediately volunteer PayPal accounts and speak of mainly wanting an "online feeder/feedee relationship"? It doesn't seem genuine to me at all. I suspect many of them are just looking for poor saps who will keep mailing them free food or cash or other gifts, and everything they say about being turned on by eating is made up.

Maybe that's no so different than the guys who pay $5 a minute to talk on sex hotlines or to watch web-cam girls? In the end, everyone has a right to spend their money as they see fit and if you're fine paying to live out a fantasy? Well, ok ....  go forth and have fun.  But I find those profiles distasteful.

 

[maxmoon]

I'm glad we can have an intelligent and level headed discussion on this. On another popular feedist hangout spot that can't be addressed by its real name here (let's just call it Pheeee Bee), you would be chastised and damned if you questioned your fetish in any way.

[balh]

Man, I know I have mental illnesses. I live with them. I was mentally abused for over 17 years and stuck in a cult for most of my adult life without knowing. Guess like me gaming became an escape.

 

I do feel bad for some girls who gain a ton of weight. Hell i was obee n trying to slim down because at 25 I was a week away from having a heart attack. I also was misdiagnosed about it too which when I went to hospital I was shocked.

I do like fat curvy girls to see n fantasy but in real life outside my home, regular to skinny girls.

Hell when my last girlfriend was naked I was not attracted to her body, but could get off to images on the Internet.