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Frustration


Ckins92

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So recently my Girlfriend of now 2 years went to the Doctor and he told her, her weight as well as that her BP came across a little higher then usual this prompted her to change her entire diet and is currently on this "0 Cholesterol  kick" which is all well and good that she wants to eat healthier but it seems like a bit of a dramatic change, and yes she is fully aware of my preferences and no she does not have High Cholesterol my frustration is this is a prompt for her to lose weight without actually saying it mostly because she keeps using the word diet. and I understand this is being unfair to even think like this because I love her and I want her to be happy but to me it's like oh cool shes the heaviest shes ever been and now i've got a taste of this is a smaller her going to be as gratifying? What are some other peoples experiences with this? I feel like I have no one else I can talk too about it and they'll understand so please only real responses. 

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Guest Goldwing

This is a tough situation for sure. Above all though, priority number 1 is it's her body, and her choice to lose or gain. Whatever she choses, you have to respect that it's her choice to make.

That said, priority number 2 is your own happiness. Until now, I've never dated a woman who was happy with her weight. Didn't matter whether they were large or already well within 'societally acceptable' range - they weren't happy. For me, I did find their unhappiness with their bodies to be a big strain on the relationship. Especially with the couple larger women I've dated, the fact that I liked their body while they did not was a big blockage between us. At the end of the day, each of us do have our physical preferences - and it is difficult to ignore them.

After my last relationship, I'd made the decision that I'm no longer willing to suppress my own desires in future relationships. I like larger women, and I like watching a woman gain. This is just who I am. And unfortunately, that puts me at odds with people who aren't into that lifestyle. I need to find someone who is a match with me in this regard, as well as matching my relationship needs and wants.

In your case, it's going to really depend on a couple of things. First of all, it's going to depend largely on how much you love your girlfriend. Do you love her enough to support her needs and desires, even when they conflict with yours? Second, how important is your tendency to like bigger women to you? Is it something insignificant in the long run, or is it actually a deal-breaker? Third, how good it your communication? Right now, there's a conflict here between your desires and hers. You absolutely have to voice that openly, and talk to her about it. If you can't talk to her about how her new diet is making you feel, then there's a problem right there. Communication, above all, is the most important thing in a good relationship.

Not an easy fix, I know. But I think we've all been there - most FAs have been with a woman they cared for, but that woman just wasn't into the big girl scene at all. For you, it's probably going to come down to how important that aspect - both physically and lifestyle-wise - is to you in a relationship. What I can say, however, is that there's no wrong answer - there's just the answer that's best for you.

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Sorry to hear it man.

Unfortunately having high blood pressure is dangerous like smoking is dangerous, in terms of cardiovascular risks. It sounds vague, and unthreatening when we are young, and for a time it is, but it's a slow burn. It degrades your arteries over time. You can live with it, but your risks may vary, and the chances are that she's putting herself at risk for an event in her 50's or 60's with a chronically elevated BP. 

Weight loss may not be necessary to reduce her blood pressure, but lifestyle changes will be.

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Actually she approached me about my concerns of her own volition and admitted to me she was only acting like that because her mother came to visit that day and got her all whipped up. She actually also admitted to me last night she's starting to like her added pudge and how soft/squishy she feels, as well as the fact that she likes when I play with it, so I feel a whole hell of a lot better and I feel like it got me all whipped up for no reason, also.... 

 

@extra_m13 she is 5'1 and 152.3LBs as of this morning and

 

@MUSEic turns out her BP just read high because she ate before she went to the Doctors like a derp.. she got her blood drawn and is fine, I would NEVER jeopardize her health for my own sexual gratification. 

@Goldwing Thank you for your very logical and sound advice it put a lot of things very quickly into perspective for me.

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