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PhatCat

Dating a skinny girl. What do I do!

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I met a skinny girl who I get along with really well. She has curves, but they're skinny curves and due to her bone structure. She has to be underweight. My ideal girl is about 20-30 pounds overweight, so she would need to gain about 50 pounds. From what I now about her, I really don't think she'll be into gaining. My biggest worry is that if I sleep with her I won't get turned on. I've never slept with a girl before who didn't have a gut I could grab. What do I do?

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Guest JackBBWLover

The best question to ask is are you in love with her ?

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The problem with love is, once it cools down there's friendship and attraction. But if any of those is missing, well... bad forecasts. So if you plan long term this might not be a good idea, unless her parents are a proof that there are some fat genes to kick off later.

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Certain loser. Your hardon will suck. She will think you are a queer because she can't understand why you don't react to her. My prediction- the sex sucks, she then tells her friends she thinks you're a queer. Everybody loses.

Don't waste your time. Find a girl who likes to eat. Girls who contol their pleasure to remain thin take little pleasure in all else. If she don't like food, she don't like sex. A pretty simple guide- Girls who can't control their appetites love sex too. 

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Guest shegotfat

Well, there's always the attractive of the challenge. If she gets bigger every pound she puts on will be twice as enjoyable. I've seen many skinny girls get pudgy who I would have never suspected would put on weight.

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Guest pangzi

As someone with his own fair share of experience in committed relationships with slim and skinny girls, let me tell you that all of my future partners must meet or exceed a minimum size/weight.

I have tried in earnest to make relationships with skinny girls work...   Eventually, after the initial romance/chemistry dies out, your love life will really start to suffer.  While I like to think that love overcomes physical attraction, relationships boil down to compatibility.  Sexual compatibility is, as I've come to learn, a major factor you don't want to overlook.  And, to be honest, if she's skinny but you're not attracted to skinny girls, you are not going to have sexual compatibility.

In my most recent relationship, I often thought of and treated my partner similarly to how I'd treat a normal friend, rather than a girlfriend.  The major reason was that our sex life had fallen apart and I just didn't have any desire for her.  She was always fairly slim, but ended up losing more weight, which made her downright skinny.  We make good friends, sure, but it turns out we make poor lovers (for many reasons, only one of which is sexual attraction).

Also, getting involved with a skinny girl in the hopes that she'll gain weight can be a bit of a wild card.  Be wary.  You don't want to go too far in and become too attached only to find that there's little sexual compatibility.  You're best bet is to start bringing up the topic early in the relationship, even if it's super awkward and uncomfortable for you.  Start teasing her about how fat she's going to get dating you.  See how reacts.  Then, work your way to confessing, in a straightforward manner, your sexual tastes and desire, and let her know that weight gain is something you'd really hope for or maybe even need from the relationship.

I've had a lot of problems in the past with not being physically attracted to my partners.  I go for personality first, looks second, but it turns out looks are more important than I realized.  From now on, I plan only to go after girls who are already above a certain size/weight, or if they are slim, to come clean with my preferences early on (which is getting easier, as I'm much more open about it now than I used to be).

That's my opinion, anyway.  Hope it's been useful.  Best of luck!  :)

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3 hours ago, pangzi said:

As someone with his own fair share of experience in committed relationships with slim and skinny girls, let me tell you that all of my future partners must meet or exceed a minimum size/weight.

I have tried in earnest to make relationships with skinny girls work...   Eventually, after the initial romance/chemistry dies out, your love life will really start to suffer.  While I like to think that love overcomes physical attraction, relationships boil down to compatibility.  Sexual compatibility is, as I've come to learn, a major factor you don't want to overlook.  And, to be honest, if she's skinny but you're not attracted to skinny girls, you are not going to have sexual compatibility.

In my most recent relationship, I often thought of and treated my partner similarly to how I'd treat a normal friend, rather than a girlfriend.  The major reason was that our sex life had fallen apart and I just didn't have any desire for her.  She was always fairly slim, but ended up losing more weight, which made her downright skinny.  We make good friends, sure, but it turns out we make poor lovers (for many reasons, only one of which is sexual attraction).

Also, getting involved with a skinny girl in the hopes that she'll gain weight can be a bit of a wild card.  Be wary.  You don't want to go too far in and become too attached only to find that there's little sexual compatibility.  You're best bet is to start bringing up the topic early in the relationship, even if it's super awkward and uncomfortable for you.  Start teasing her about how fat she's going to get dating you.  See how reacts.  Then, work your way to confessing, in a straightforward manner, your sexual tastes and desire, and let her know that weight gain is something you'd really hope for or maybe even need from the relationship.

I've had a lot of problems in the past with not being physically attracted to my partners.  I go for personality first, looks second, but it turns out looks are more important than I realized.  From now on, I plan only to go after girls who are already above a certain size/weight, or if they are slim, to come clean with my preferences early on (which is getting easier, as I'm much more open about it now than I used to be).

That's my opinion, anyway.  Hope it's been useful.  Best of luck!  :)

 

 

All of this that pangzi posted is dead on true.   I was looking at pics of my wife many years ago when we were first married and she was chunky at 5'3" and very curvy (some might say overweight back then but not to many would call her Fat)  Fast forward to today and she is a good 40+ lbs. bigger and I still would want her much fatter.  Most everyone else would call her Fat currently.  The problem is I and most here see Fat as Beautiful and the other thing is my version of Fat has increased over the years.....which I have read most other Fa's have as well.  So if she is skinny now it may be tough to enjoy for the long haul. 

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21 hours ago, finallyfat said:

Certain loser. Your hardon will suck. She will think you are a queer because she can't understand why you don't react to her. My prediction- the sex sucks, she then tells her friends she thinks you're a queer. Everybody loses.

Don't waste your time. Find a girl who likes to eat. Girls who contol their pleasure to remain thin take little pleasure in all else. If she don't like food, she don't like sex. A pretty simple guide- Girls who can't control their appetites love sex too. 

Wow, please don't listen to this guy. No one's going to think you're a queer, worst case scenario is she'll feel pretty shitty about herself and think she's not attractive enough. If you're a closeted FA and this girl is within a close circle of friends who you don't want to know (just making that assumption), then that would be the only reason not to let her know, even in complete euphimisms, what your fetish is. 

 

As for breeding sexual attraction, she may be skinny, but every girl has 'fat parts'. Focus on those. Use your head to magnify that attraction. Imagine her bigger, if you have to. If you're still having trouble, oh well. You could always have drinks beforehand and blame it on that.

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Guest viorus

Well your sex life is going to suck.

But if she's the one then that doesn't matter.

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On ‎19‎/‎09‎/‎2016 at 4:01 PM, pangzi said:

As someone with his own fair share of experience in committed relationships with slim and skinny girls, let me tell you that all of my future partners must meet or exceed a minimum size/weight.

I have tried in earnest to make relationships with skinny girls work...   Eventually, after the initial romance/chemistry dies out, your love life will really start to suffer.  While I like to think that love overcomes physical attraction, relationships boil down to compatibility.  Sexual compatibility is, as I've come to learn, a major factor you don't want to overlook.  And, to be honest, if she's skinny but you're not attracted to skinny girls, you are not going to have sexual compatibility.

In my most recent relationship, I often thought of and treated my partner similarly to how I'd treat a normal friend, rather than a girlfriend.  The major reason was that our sex life had fallen apart and I just didn't have any desire for her.  She was always fairly slim, but ended up losing more weight, which made her downright skinny.  We make good friends, sure, but it turns out we make poor lovers (for many reasons, only one of which is sexual attraction).

Also, getting involved with a skinny girl in the hopes that she'll gain weight can be a bit of a wild card.  Be wary.  You don't want to go too far in and become too attached only to find that there's little sexual compatibility.  You're best bet is to start bringing up the topic early in the relationship, even if it's super awkward and uncomfortable for you.  Start teasing her about how fat she's going to get dating you.  See how reacts.  Then, work your way to confessing, in a straightforward manner, your sexual tastes and desire, and let her know that weight gain is something you'd really hope for or maybe even need from the relationship.

I've had a lot of problems in the past with not being physically attracted to my partners.  I go for personality first, looks second, but it turns out looks are more important than I realized.  From now on, I plan only to go after girls who are already above a certain size/weight, or if they are slim, to come clean with my preferences early on (which is getting easier, as I'm much more open about it now than I used to be).

That's my opinion, anyway.  Hope it's been useful.  Best of luck!  :)

I've been in the same boat.

You try to find them attractive but you cant. I would get hard for the first month and then turn to Viagra later on while thinking about bbw models. How depressing.

Try it if you like but as a rule of thumb it might not end so well.

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On 2016-09-19 at 0:03 AM, PhatCat said:

I met a skinny girl who I get along with really well. She has curves, but they're skinny curves and due to her bone structure. She has to be underweight. My ideal girl is about 20-30 pounds overweight, so she would need to gain about 50 pounds. From what I now about her, I really don't think she'll be into gaining. My biggest worry is that if I sleep with her I won't get turned on. I've never slept with a girl before who didn't have a gut I could grab. What do I do?

lol wat? obvious answer don't sleep with her 

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So I'm still with this girl, and so glad that I have stuck with her. She is slim with a BMI of 19.6, but she also has serious curves. She has a very small frame, so she looks heavier than most people of her height and weight do, and she has no muscle tone at all, so she is very pleasantly soft. Thanks to shady-j's advice, she has "fat parts" for me to focus on, and that does the job. Her stomach has a curve to it, and it's very soft, but I wouldn't say she has a belly. And I really miss having a belly to grab or feel against me during sex. I've never experienced a slim body before. But she was a very chubby teenager and will likely be chubbier again at some point in her because of her part and because nobody else in her family is slim. She doesn't seem open to gaining weight on purpose, because she has told me about how her mother always tries to get her to gain weight. I just have to make sure she doesn't lose weight again, and I don't think it will happen. But it has been worth it. I hope she gains some weight, and I'm pretty sure she will at some point, but for now I'm perfectly happy with her the way she is.

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Phatcat... I rarely ever take the time to respond on here, but I felt I should now. It's great that you've stuck it out. I found myself in a similar situation years ago... Very attracted to a very pretty girl and her awesome personality despite the fact that she was thinner than I ever would have thought for myself a...This was FAR from my ideal physical companion, but I wanted love more than anything...She has still never grown fully comfortable with the idea of gaining weight, but over the years my support for her body and my subtle encouragement has led her to go from 5'5" 120-5 to about 5'5" 155-60 (through her mid 20's)...She still looks thin and great in clothes, but she is so soft and incredible underneath...As some have said on here, when you truly love and value your partner, every one pound can feel like 5...She turns me on like crazy now and I can't wait to see where it goes...Best of luck, and if you need any advice, you've definitely come to the right place

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Glad it's working out. If she's been chubby before, and her mom tries to get her to gain weight, there's some definite potential there. Just try to breed affection out of any weight gain that crops up, and it'll stick. Good luck!

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as long as she doesnt lose weight, you should consider yourself a winner. and yeah, soft parts are the best. as long as she is not into being strong, muscle type of body, you are going to be just fine i think. enjoy.

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6 hours ago, extra_m13 said:

as long as she doesnt lose weight, you should consider yourself a winner. and yeah, soft parts are the best. as long as she is not into being strong, muscle type of body, you are going to be just fine i think. enjoy.

She doesn't work out at all, just a fair amount of walking if the weather is okay. So I'm not too worried. I got worried when my last serious girlfriend started working out, mostly because I thought she wanted to lose the weight she gained in our relationship to find someone else. At least her belly only kept getting bigger until the day she dumped me about 4 months later. But she ended up losing the weight afterwards and doesn't look so good now.

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Update:

She has put on a few pounds and now has a great starter belly. Her BMI when we met was around 19, and it's probably at 20 now. She has no muscle tone at all, so she's a very soft and squishy girl even with a BMI of 20. She complains that she is chubby now, but I keep telling her that she is skinny and has a flat stomach, though it's not so flat any more. She had a BMI of 29 when she was younger and does not want to get back to that weight. I saw a couple of photos of her at that weight and she really didn't look as heavy as she said. She even admitted that at close to 200 pounds she didn't think she was fat and thought she looked good in a bikini because her waist wasn't that big. A girl who is quite a bit overweight and doesn't think she is fat is the best kind. I would love to see her heavier again, but she says she wants to lose weight. I don't know if she really wants to lose weight or is trying to trick me into telling her she needs to lose weight.

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You obviously have things in common besides our focus here, but she needs to be told the truth about your preferences or her desire not to regain what she once lost will at some point create issues.

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I have told her many times that if she gained weight I would still find her beautiful. She doesn't believe me!

I'd be perfectly fine if she stayed her current weight, but I don't want her to lose weight and she something says that she thinks she's plump and wants to lose weight. More than looks, I don't want her to lose weight because it's not healthy when her BMI is already around 20. She said that when she used to be skinnier it created some problems for her.

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On 1/1/2019 at 1:39 AM, PhatCat said:

Another update: She has lost some weight. Her BMI is now just under 19, but she is the chubbiest person with this BMI I've ever seen. Somehow she still has a belly bulge and jiggly thighs!

We call that "hormonal weight" . Unless she have liver or thyroid issues, it might fade away after a certain time.

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You don't have to only date 1 person lol there are weight classes.  But hopefully you can find something mutually enjoyable.  No idea why people think they have a cap of every possible thing to attract them.  Or somehow fat slob francine could never exist and you have to choose lesser of 2 evils: 

 

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