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Britney Spears


BilledMeUp

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yes, and she was sick ; "ciccone chorea" or something like this. the doctor says : 

 

Ciccone's Chorea, or 'St Sappho's Dance' as it is also known, is a neurological disorder characterized by rapid, aimless, uncontrollable movements of the thighs, hips and crotch, attributed by scientists who have studied the disease, to the victim's inability to keep their legs together.

For reasons that are not entirely clear, Ciccone's Chorea appears to single out young, blond women with low self-esteem, high expectations and silicon breast implants.

"There appears to be a direct correlation between the size of breast implants and the ability of the brain to control muscular movements in these unfortunate women," explained Dr Hans Busenhalter, who has been treating Ms Spears for the disease.

This distressing disorder, which is thought to affect as many as 37 people, typically has an onset between the ages of 15 and 21, and affects girls more often than boys. The symptoms invariably include involuntary limb movements, facial grimacing, exhibitionism, singing, and the characteristic 'pelvic grind' which has given the disease it's common name of 'St Sappho's Dance' — an infamous courtesan who scandalized Greek society with her lewd stage act.

In the latter stages of the disease, the victim becomes increasingly forgetful and clumsy; knee injuries are common and many sufferers frequently rub their crotch to relieve the uncontrollable muscle spasms. Ciccone's Chorea is thought to result from a deficiency of the glycoprotein, aminoactyl-oxytocin which is responsible for brain development.

We asked Dr Busenhalter what could be done for the victims of the disease.
"Not much," he replied sadly. The only treatment available is to raise the hyper-glycaemic body index of the patient by massively increasing carbohydrate intake."
"Pardon?" we asked.
"I've advised Britney to eat lots of burgers, hot dogs, fries, ice cream, pizza, Ding-dongs, Snickers, and chocolate."
"And does that help?"
"It seems to stop the worst of her symptoms."
"So — the rumours that Ms Spears has cancelled all her tour dates because she is just a fat, washed-up slut who can't stop stuffing her face aren't true then?"
"Certainly not!" ejaculated the doctor. "Britney has a recognised medical disorder and is eating sensibly to control it."
"Well, that's a relief," we replied.

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and :

The only effective treatment for victims of this debilitating disorder is to increase their carbohydrate intake by eating lots of burgers, hot dogs, fries, ice cream, pizza, Ding-dongs, Snickers, and chocolate. Unfortunately, this leads to rapid weight gain, especially around the thighs, stomach and buttocks, as our picture clearly shows.

Dr Cillicone's prescription is simple; Britney must have more sex to burn off the calories her treatment is piling on. After having tracked the reclusive pop princess down to a seedy diner in Santa Monica, we asked her whether she was going to follow his advice.

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  • 1 year later...

Many anti-depressants and even more anti-psychotic and mood medications have weight gain as a primary side effect.  It is common knowledge that Britney has her share of ongoing mental issues.  I'm sure her first choice of meds were those that did not have weight gain as a side effect, but with her most recent issues, maybe we have moved beyond those.

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What happened to the boobs she had they gone..  Damn I miss her hey days with Stronger.. Baby one more time.  and From the bottom of my broken heart... She was my favorite crush then and now it's like damn girl get yourself good b4 you go out paparazzi be everywhere and will trash you if seen... I wish her the best and hope she gets the help she needs 

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