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The Fatter Boleyn Girl


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Another oldie reposted:

 

 

The Fatter Boleyn Girl by Maltese Falcon

 

We revisit the life of Anne Boleyn and wonder how history would have progressed with a few changes. A few of the details and dates have been changed for artistic purposes.

 

Spring 1536

 

Anne sat sullenly in her bedchamber, as the list of charges was read out to her; among them: witchcraft, heresy, incest and adultery against the King. This last charge carried with it, a charge of High Treason; on its own a capital offence.

 

Once the official reading was complete, the guards packed a few belongings and she was whisked into the tower.

 

She knew, there was no point in protesting her innocence, to charges such as these. The upcoming trial; would surely clear her good name, of these ridiculous claims.

 

Alas, it was not to be. Under torture, one Mark Smeaton, confessed to several assignations; with Her Majesty. Not only that; he revealed she had opened her bedchamber to others, including her own brother. These men were rounded up, tried and quickly despatched; leaving poor Anne with neither witness, nor means of confronting her accused. As such, her own trial was a mere formality; she being condemned as well. Her last day on Earth, would have been May 19; but Henry decided, that he would honour her request, for a special executioner from France, to do the deed.

 

Due to a shipwreck, the man selected, failed to arrive on the appointed day and the search resumed, for a replacement.

 

Lady Kingston, wife of the Keeper of the Tower, broke the news to her. “This is a sign from God, Majesty; he has seen fit, to spare your life.”

 

Anne sobbed and said, “To what end, woman? Methinks, I shall perish, all the same. This is merely a cruel twist, to an injustice. Think you, I am guilty of these crimes?”

 

“No Majesty, not at all. We know whereof the accusations arise, but dare not speak it.”

 

“What say you?” asked Anne.

 

Risking her own neck, Lady Kingston continued. “ ‘Tis said the King looks elsewhere, for a son. He has given up on you, in favour of Lady Seymour. The rest was just to justify his lust, by law.”

 

Anne nodded. “A lovely daughter has he already, by my body. If he were not so bold, a son would he have had by now, as well.”

 

“Oh” gasped her companion. “How so?”

 

The queen continued. “This January past, he lost his beloved Catherine and was so wracked by sorrow; he took me in the night. Like a tilting horse he rode me; but I was four months with child and I was miscarried, within the week. The child was deformed by his actions, but his the doctors put it to witchcraft.”

 

“ ‘Tis not my fault there have been no heirs, but Elizabeth. Since her birth, I have been with child three times; once for each time he has lain with me. I fear, he has lost his love for me and no matter how many sons I bore; I would still be shut up in this little room.”

 

Lady Kingston nodded and was about to speak, when there was a knock at the door.

 

Opening it, revealed a chambermaid, with a small tray. With a polite curtsy she said “Her Majesty’s dinner, your Grace.”

 

Lady Kingston took the tray and brought it over.

 

Anne snorted and said “Take it away, you silly woman. What use is food, now? I shall be relieved of my sorrows within a fortnight, I should think.”

 

Lady Kingston scowled and said, “I am sworn to watch over you. If you take ill under my care; then I too, will feel the sting of steel on my neck.” Anne blanched at that and her companion blushed. “My lady, I am so sorry. Forgive me please.”

 

Anne calmed her. “Nothing to forgive, for ‘tis true. What have we, then?”

 

The “meal” consisted of some watery soup and a stale crust of bread.

 

“Sorry m’lady. This is all we are allowed to bring.”

 

“Hush” said Anne. “I am used to such fare. I have dined thusly, for some time.”

 

The puzzled peer asked “Verily? How so?”

 

Anne rubbed her stomach and said, “To try to recapture my Henry’s love. Before Elizabeth, I was a slip of a girl; but carrying her, I became as plump as a pigeon. I worked hard to recover my beauty; but each pregnancy, conspired against my plan. Once the last was lost; I have become as starved for food as I have for his affection.”

 

Nodding, Lady Kingston said, “Perhaps I can appeal to his Majesty, for clemency.”

 

Sipping the cold broth Anne said “Do as you will. Now send in the priest, I need to pray awhile. Perhaps you will pray for me, as well.”

 

Lady Kingston nodded and thought, maybe something else.

 

 

 

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Chapter 2

She appealed to her husband, to let her see the King. Under protest, he accompanied her and they waited outside his apartment . Inside, they could hear a commotion and there was a lot of rustling and laughing going on.

After about an hour, the door opened and a plump young woman ran out; giggling and blowing kisses through the doorway. Even if one had not heard the noise inside, it was apparent from the state of her clothing, that she had been up to no good.

Lady Kingston scowled, and thought. “ ‘Tis not the queen whose eyes gaze afar.”

Then, snapping back to reality; they were escorted into the King’s private chambers.

He appeared angry and said, “My dear Lord Kingston, what purpose have you here?”

Sheepishly he directed the King’s attention to his companion. “Majesty, the mission is that of my good lady wife. She worries for the …queen.”

Now showing some anger the King said, “Worries? How so? She will be dead, in a day or so. Then we will have done of this treasonous witch.”

Before Lady Kingston could proceed, another young woman came in, this time a serving girl. The plump young beauty, brought in a tray of food, for the King , who bellowed “Come here wench.” He rubbed his hands up and down her body and said, “I think you have availed yourself, of more of my food than I, of late.” She laughed and pushed him away. Lady Kingston watched, as the King eyed her, as she left.

Suddenly, she had a divine inspiration. She knew just what to say.

“Beg pardon my Lord, ‘tis not the queen I worry about. ‘Tis her unborn child.”

Now, she had the King’s full attention. “What say you woman? Is she with child? Why was I not made known of this?”

Now fearful, Lady Kingston blanched; as her panicked husband tried to distance himself; from the situation.

“In truth sire, I know not if it is true, but neither do you. Is there a possibility she could be carrying a child-a royal child? If so, her death would mean the end of your son and heir as well.”

The king pondered and said “I had not considered that. Verily, ‘tis possible, if I recall correctly.”

Then he spoke softly. “What to do…?”

Encouraged by a gentle nudge from his wife’s elbow, Lord Kingston said “I believe sire, we must wait an appropriate time; to see if there is a physical manifestation of this.”

“Agreed” said the King. “Killing the child, would be treason and a sin before God.”

Lady Kingston bit her lip and thought. “As is killing the queen to satisfy your lust” Aloud she added “Bless you sire, for your mercy and wisdom. We must have better conditions, if the child is to be healthy. Milady has a cosy apartment; but she will need better provisions, if your son is to be carried to term.”

He assured her “Think nothing of it. Nothing but the best, to be provided.” He scratched a note, to the head of household and said “Here. This will ensure, you have all that is needed.”

“Bless you again sire”, said Lady Kingston.

The King dismissed them with a wave. “ ‘Tis nothing. We can have done with her; when the child is born. Now, off with you. I mean to feed myself, as well.”

Walking down the corridor, Lord Kingston sighed. “Milady, this was a close run thing. I could feel the headsman’s breath on my neck, for a moment. When did you find out her majesty was with child?”

Lady Kingston said, “For the moment; you needn’t concern yourself, with that. Now, to put our plan into motion.”

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Chapter 3

Next morning, Lady Kingston delivered the queens breakfast personally.

This time, it was a huge meal: quail eggs, an entire chicken and an assortment of sweet pastries. To wash it down, there was a tankard of ale and some wine.

Shaking the young prisoner, her captor said, “Majesty, I prithee wake. I have food and good news.”

Rubbing her eyes Anne yawned and asked “Oh, what say you. Spared am I?”

Lady Kingston smiled. “In a fashion, your majesty. The King fears you may be with child; so he has agreed to wait, until it is confirmed.”

Now downcast, Anne said “Alas, he cares naught for me, then.” She rubbed her midsection and said, and “My belly is not filled with child, either.”

“I know” said Lady Kingston. “But, if we keep it filled with something else; ‘twill fool the king long enough, I think.”

She then handed the tray to Anne saying “Eat hearty, my lady. That belly will be your salvation, one way or another.”

Now, Anne caught on. She looked at the tray and added “You would make me plump as a mother-to-be.”

Without comment, she began to eat and in a few minutes, the meal was finished. Lady Kingston went out and in a few minutes, came back with another platter, crammed with tarts and rich cheese fancies.

“Finish this as well, please.” Anne pushed it away and said “Thank you no, I am quite sated. Any more and I fear I shall burst.”

Lady Kingston pushed it back and warned, “Your life hangs in the balance.” Then she grabbed a large tart and held it in front of her mouth.  Anne ate it and before long the second tray had disappeared as well. Anne moaned softly and rubbed her distended stomach. Letting out a most unladylike belch, she begged. “No more please. I will try again, later.”

“Good” said her mentor. “I will be back, on the hour. You must try to plumpen up quickly, if we are to succeed.”  Thinking a moment, she asked. “This is difficult to ask milady; but, might I see you to ascertain the task ahead?”

Without a thought, the young queen stood and disrobed. Lady Hamilton eyed her and said, “ ‘Tis a daunting task, indeed. In truth, milady you are as thin as a broomstick.”

 Anne agreed. The stress of late, had actually reduced her from eight stone, to seven. There was the slightest bulge of baby fat, on her postnatal belly and little anywhere else.

Lady Kingston decided she would have to up the ante; or the young woman was doomed. Therefore, she ensured, there was almost a constant flow of fattening treats, coming into the room.  There was nothing wasted. Encouraged constantly by Lady Kingston, each succulent morsel found its way into the young Queen’s rapidly expanding belly. She ate so much and so often it was difficult to tell when one meal ended and the next began.

Lady Kingston would often bring extra and would dine with her to keep her company and ensure she was eating as much as possible. Daily she would poke her and squeeze her arms and legs to see the results of the efforts to date. Shaking her head with disapproval, meant the next day the menu would increase even more. With nothing else to do anyway, Anne was glad for the company, and the two became great friends.

Three weeks pass. The King has sent his doctors, to examine the royal personage. Lady Kingston is allowed to attend, to witness.

Anne disrobed and as per the usual custom, is examined beneath a sheer gown. Even with this on, it was plain to see, the massive intake had an effect.  The doctor felt her breasts though the thin cloth and they had swollen, to twice their size; since his last examination, in March. The thin cloth disguised the extra fat on her hips and thighs; but failed to hide the plump paunch, that had formed, on her midsection.

He felt it carefully and measured the fat layer. Stroking his bead, he said more to himself than anyone “She is indeed larger to be sure; but I cannot say for a fact, that she carries a child. More to the point, even if she does, what if it is not legitimate?”

The Lady had not thought of that argument. Quickly she countered. “That is not for us, to decide. ‘Tis the King’s problem.  For now, we must let any doubt, be in favour of the child.”

“I agree”, said the doctor,” what harm in a little time? I will report as such, to His Majesty.”

What harm indeed, thought Anne. She rubbed her rumbling belly and waited patiently for the next meal; that would see its growth, and add more days to her life.

 

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Chapter 4

Six months have now passed since the incarceration. Once again, the doctor examines his royal patient and once again, he has no conclusion.

After he has left, Anne begins to cry. Lady Kingston consoles her asking “What is wrong child?”

 “Oh look at me” she bawled. “I have eaten like a hog these many months and now, even resemble one. To what end? In a three-month, the King will know ‘tis but a ploy and I will be doomed.”

Her companion disagreed “Ah good lady, but I think not. You see, I have an idea the King’s opinions of you will change; once he has cast his gaze upon this new form. Anne asked her, her meaning; and she answered,” Forgive me Milady it pains me to tell you; the King himself has not been true to his vows.”

Anne nodded. “This I know. He has that right, and holds the power of life or death, over us all. What of this?”

“Well child, with my own eyes have I seen, the type of woman he prefers; and it is not unlike yourself, at present.”

Anne scoffed. “A  lie. I know my Henry and he, nor any other man would look twice at this bulbous form.”

Her friend reiterated “No, Majesty. Mark this.  I think our ploy will pay off.”

“Oh? How so?”

“You leave that to me. Meanwhile, you keep eating. The fatter you be, the more likely are we to succeed.”

Anne rubbed her rumbling belly again and began to gorge herself; on the three chickens, which sat in front of her.  Pausing thereafter she handed the empty platter to her companion, remarking “See if cook has more to spare. A few cakes as well.” Lady Kingston smiled as she left her drinking the second tankard of ale, while leaning back on the bed and moaning contendedly.

Once below, Lady Kingston met with the doctor, before he left and discussed the examination.” What say you, finally?”

Shaking his head the doctor said “Verily I know not. Torn am I, in this matter. Any mistake either way, would be fatal to me.”

The good Lady suggested “Perhaps, the King should examine her, himself. That way, we be blameless, in any conclusion.”

The doctor beamed and said, “A wondrous idea, milady. So shall it be.” He practically danced his way down the stairs and doubtless ; would convey the idea to the King, as his own. So much the better.

And so it was, that Henry arrived two days later, prepared to pass judgment, on his “adulterous” spouse.

He arrived, to find Lady Hamilton bringing a tray to her room and he remarked. “Good lady, you seem fit. The climate here, has done wonders for you.”

His comments were directed at her figure. She had spent many nights and days with Anne; coaxing her to eat a little more. In the process, she had gained nearly 4 stone herself; and her garments failed to conceal the evidence. Contrary to the fashion of the day, her now expanded bosoms heaved mightily threatening at any moment to escape their textile confinement.

For a moment the King was driven to distraction. Had she not been on the far side of forty; the peeress felt Henry would have made a play for her, as well. Uncomfortable, but sensing her instincts had been correct, she broke the spell. “If I may be so bold sire, you will see the climate has affected others as well.” She directed her gaze to the upper story where Anne awaited her fate.

Grabbing the tray he said, “I will deliver this. I need some time alone, with the prisoner.” Even now, he would not acknowledge her, as queen.

Opening the door, he surprised Anne; who bowed clumsily and staggered to her feet. “My Lord, to what am I owed, to receive this visit?” There was no sarcasm in her voice, despite her situation, it was apparent; that she still loved him.

The king stood mouth agape and finding his tongue, sputtered, “Madam,’ tis true. You are with child.”

Coyly she replied “That is for you to determine, sire.” Then, she began to disrobe.

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Chapter 5

Over the last six months, she had increased her bulk from seven stone, to twenty one. Now, it was a struggle to walk across the room and most days, she just propped up on pillows, while she ate.

Her hips were slathered, with a six inch layer of fat; so big in fact she needed no bum roll to fill out a skirt. The breasts she had never had before; were now twice the size of Henry’s head and she propped them up, to demonstrate their weight. In between, the swollen belly protruded a foot in front of her; and she swayed back and forth enticingly, to draw him closer. Her whole body quivered with its extra fat, like jelly. She was aware of this and slight movements ensured that her husband was spell ound.

Approaching she could sense his excitement as his hands quivered in anticipation. Mopping a bead of sweat from his brow, the King felt her soft swollen midsection and caressed the plump backside, to ensure they were real. He gasped before once again gaining his composure.

“Again madam, do you carry my son and heir?” Her only reply was a loud rumbling in her belly, followed by a soft belch.

“Damn your impertinence! Speak, for your life hangs in the balance.”

Deftly, she diverted the question. Undoing her raven hair, she riveted him in her gaze and said “Perhaps, you majesty, would like to make sure of it.”

That was all the convincing, he needed. After an hour, the Captain of the Guards became concerned and knocked at the door.

The king answered. “Who knocks without?”

 “Captain Williams, my Lord. Some time, it has been. Are you in need of assistance?”

The King snickered under his breath as he stroked the succulent breast of his wife. “Thank you, no. Everything is in good hands at present, as it were.”

There was a muffled response “Sire?” Then, more to the point. “The hour is late majesty, what are your orders for the men?”

“Ah” he replied. “My inspection tour is talking longer than planned. I will remain here for the night. Post a guard at the door and find billets for the men as best you can. I will see you on the morrow.”

From outside.”Very good my lord. I will see to my men and take post here myself.”

One night turned to two, then three as Henry “re-acquainted” himself with his wife and took stock of her newly augmented figure.  He took great pains to ensure that her growth continued unabated, bellowing through the door for more food on a regular basis. The two enjoyed each other immensely, as Henry fed tender morsels to her while rubbing her bulging stomach.

Finally on the fourth morning an envoy arrived, worried for the King’s safety. Even Henry had to admit he had overextended his “inspection” and needed to return to the castle for state matters.

Bidding Anne adieu he promised to return as soon as possible. The Queen smiled at this, realizing he loved her once more. “So then” she posed “am I to be released, or spared at least my Lord?”

Henry looked at her belly in earnest now and added “For now. What issues will decide the matter, nothing more. For now, be well and care for the life within you.”

Then he turned and left silently and without even looking back. The key turning in the lock gave her no illusion to her eventual fate. She looked down at the bloated form of her belly, sighing in the knowledge that the only life in the Queen’s belly was the Queen herself. Reduced to tears she sent for the priest and together they prayed for a miracle.

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Chapter 6

Her spirits brightened, when within a fortnight, Henry returned. The drill was as before, he would feed her and bed her as he saw fit. Over the next three months the pattern continued until nearly 10 months had elapsed from her initial captivity.

Eventually, Henry knew he had been duped and arranged to meet his wife for the final time. His cold expression once he entered the room told Anne all she needed in a glance.

“Good morrow my Lord. A pleasure to see you as always.”

The King grumbled. “Be silent madam. I am here on serious business”

She cast her gaze down and said “As you wish sire. Please continue.”

He leered at her form, which mitigated his anger somewhat, but blurted “Madam it is long past your birthing time with no issue. You have deceived me, as have your keepers, I fear. No matter. They shall pay for their treachery with their lives as well. I would suggest that you spend this night in prayer and contemplation for this will be your last.” Oddly he was choking on the last words and Anne saw tears welling in his eyes.

She stifled a sob but instead of falling to her knees begging for her life she began to disrobe. Henry held up his hand and said, “Your beauty and charms will save you not. I must confess my ardour for you was renewed of late, and I was blinded by love. But my enemies would fall on me if I sacrificed the good of the state to spare the life of a liar.”

Sensing their import, Anne chose her next words well. “For my own life I plead no longer, sire. ‘Tis yours as you see fit. But before you turn that key for the final time, gaze you closely upon my form.  You may remember me thusly.“

Henry stared at her for a moment and she drew her finger down the centre of her ever-expanding belly. Heretofore unnoticed, there was a distinct brownish line down the centre and her nipples stood out brown and distended. Her breasts, once merely soft and plump, rivalled the belly for room on the royal frame, and Henry could see a roadmap of large blue veins showing through the milk-white skin.  Henry had fathered a daughter by one wife and second by this one. He knew what this meant.

Changing his tone, but stifling his excitement , he asked “Can this be true? Are you truly with child?”

Nodding, she confirmed “Forgive my earlier deception, sire but ‘twas needed to help you to find your heart. These nights together have brought us close again and truly blessed us with this child. Truly it was for good, that I bore false witness. It was my only defence against those who had done the same to me. I fear that some in court have tried to poison your mind to suit their own needs. After all that has happened, think you verily that I am a witch, who betrayed your trust; with mine own brother, no less?” She crossed herself and mumbled “ God bless his soul”

That was enough for Henry. He walked up to her, sank to his knees and wept openly. She held his head against her belly and the sound of the baby’s heartbeat made him sob even more. The spell was broken by a gentle knock at the door, and a familiar voice from without.

It was the Captain of the Guard again. “Sire the men are ready as ordered.” He had posted extra guards in case there was a last ditch effort to free the Queen.

Drying his eyes he stood, held the Queen’s hand and promised. “I cannot undo what has been done. But this I promise. I will move Heaven and Earth to earn once more your trust and forgiveness. For now you will stay here; confined not as punishment but for your own safety. I have been deceived and blinded by false counsel.  ‘Tis true, there is much Devilry afoot in my realm this day and I shall destroy it root and branch.” Then without so much as a kiss or by your leave he was gone once more. This time the door did not lock. Anne did not try to open it, as she knew there would still be a guard posted outside.

Henry returned to court like a man possessed, which he was. Possessed by love of his wife and the hatred of those, who had tried to take it from him.

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Chapter 7

Next morning, he summoned his advisors, his Privy council and church officials to court. All looked to his visage, which was cold as ice. “My good gentles. Here to discuss important matters of state, are we. Here have I the death warrant for the Queen, so hastily drawn up by many among you today. It needs only the Royal seal to make it official.” He stood and with a dramatic air tore the parchment in half, hurling it into their midst. “Sleepless was I, this past eventide. In its stead, have I combed the castle for any live witness to the actions, for which she stands accused. Oddly enough, there are none. Someone has made sure of it. It is my ruling therefore, to declare that these charges are false and the verdict void. I am the law of this land and shall decide who lives or dies in my name, not a collection of ambitious scoundrels!”

He glared around the room and looked for any hint of dissent. “Is there any among you who dare challenge me in this?”

All but one remained silent, staring in fear, some instinctively caressing their necks and sweating. The lone dissenter was Henry’s new Archbishop. “For the King’s Law speak not, do, I but for that of God. The Royal  Personage  can forgive or pardon matters of State, but witchcraft is a crime against God. ‘Tis a Church matter and no other can intervene. So says the Law.”

“Verily” said Henry” think you so? Let me assure you, good sir, I fear not the Pope, nor his Excommunication. I am the New Church and you are but its servant. But perhaps these documents will help you to reconsider.” He snapped his fingers and a servant handed the Archbishop several parchments.

Henry explained “ Several of your fellow peers have shall we say…moved on. Their estates have been forfeit to the crown for their treacherous counsel and scheming behind our back. Perhaps your Grace would consider these as a token offering to… expedite matters. Know this: the Queen is with child. With mine own eyes, have I seen the evidence. This child will someday be heir to the throne and must be blessed. Verily, a witch cannot bear a blessed child, one blessed by my chosen Archbishop. ” Then he added ominiously “Whoever that may be, when the time comes.”

A silent nod was all that was needed, to ensure Henry would have his way once again. Feeling he had sufficiently cowed them, he dismissed them with a wave. He had one more score to settle.

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Chapter 8

Off to the Tower, this time in better spirits. This time he had Lord and Lady Kingston brought up to the Queen’s apartment . On the way they passed the scaffold, still set up for Anne’s execution. They feared the worst. Instead they were greeted by Henry’s cheerful laugh. “Come, come enter. The Queen has told me of your efforts to save her life, and we are forever grateful. I will arrange for you to have an estate befitting of the debt owed, but not until the matter is fulfilled.” By this he meant the child to come.

“For now take this.” He beckoned Lady Kingston to approach. Taking a ring with his seal from his own finger he handed it to Anne’s erstwhile jailer, turned saviour. She understood its meaning and its great honour. A gift of a ring with the King’s signet was a guarantee of safekeeping and close friendship. It barely fit over her own finger, causing her to blush as she realized her increased girth, was the culprit.

Henry dismissed them with a wave, adding “Wait below I will have some instructions for you.” Both bowed and backed out of the room closing the door behind them.

“Now my dear”, Henry said. “Delighted am I to inform you that your sentence has been commuted and you will be spared.” As Anne beamed ,he added “That said, you must remain here, for the time being. I cannot guarantee, that some zealot will not take the law unto himself and do you harm. This room looks comfortable enough and I will ensure you are well looked after, in the meantime.” He approached, and began to stroke her breast with one hand and kneaded her ample backside with the other. “Affairs of the state must take precedence over those of the heart. I will come to….visit as often as I can.”

Anne moaned softly with pleasure, then stiffened and began to back away. Then she knelt and looked up into his eyes. “My Lord, I must ask you a boon?”

Henry saw the look in her eyes and alarmed, replied “What is it you need? Speak and you shall have it.”

She gazed down, elaborating. “Sire, enjoyed have I, your little visits of late and long do I, for your companionship and touch. But I think now, of the life inside me and for its welfare only. I would ask that you stay away, until my time has come. Then we will not be overcome with temptation and risk any misfortune from our lust.” She did not add “like last time.” Nor did she need to.

 Although he had never admitted it, the King knew the blame for Anne’s last misfortune was his alone. Nodding sadly, he agreed. He helped her to her feet and said “This is farewell for a six-month. If you need anything-anything, send word and so shall it be.”  He embraced her and kissed her gently. He pulled a handkerchief from his belt and wiped a tear from her cheek. Holding it to his heart he said this will remind me of you until then. In a flash, he was gone.

Once below, he confronted Lady Kingston. “The Queen is to remain here until the birthing, for her own safety. I will not return until then at her request. Meanwhile my personal bodyguards will remain, to help as needed. I place them under your personal command.” Again it was a great honor, especially for a woman.

The King continued. “The Queen will be lonely and I expect you will be her closest companion, until then. Do your best to keep her spirits up. Be her friend and therefore mine.”

She curtsied and said. “As you command my Lord. It will be my pleasure, and my honor to serve.”

The King took her hand and helped to steady her. Kissing it he added “I will see you in good time, milady.”

Then, he spun on his heel and was gone.

A three-month passed. Then another. The whole time Anne remained confined in her apartment. Although Henry and Anne wrote frequent notes to each other, they stayed the course. Lady Kingston was Anne’s only visitor, spending much of the day upstairs to keep her company.  They laughed, sang songs, played games and stitched a large assortment of baby clothes for the new arrival. And they ate their meals together. Oh, how they ate.

Lord and Lady Kingston were by no means poor, but as minor aristocrats, they had only a modest income.  Now, the King had seen fit that they wanted for nothing. Lady Kingston indulged herself of his hospitality, consuming quantities and items she could never have imagined previously. Anne, meanwhile no longer need coaxing to get her fill.

The baby had increased her appetite manifold, and she became a virtual eating machine, gorging herself with rich sweets and fattening meats, almost non-stop. Many days, she did not even bother to dress properly, remaining abed, eating whatever Lady Kingston set in front of her. The pattern was undiminished even at night, toward the end. She would wake with hunger pangs and holler at the guard to fetch some morsel to nibble on. Eventually, they posted a late night cook and servant, to fill the bill.

Finally, the day arrived. Lady Kingston sent for the midwife, and for the King himself. He arrived with his physician and was met in the courtyard by Lady Kingston.  At least, that was who he thought it was. This version was absolutely huge. She appeared to be twice as big in every aspect as when they last met.

Forgetting herself for a moment , she ran up and clasped his hand. Bouncing up and down like a child, she exclaimed “Oh joyous day sire! You are just in time. The Queen is delivered and is resting comfortably.” The King gestured to his physician and he bolted for the Tower, to tend to his charges.

Lady Kingston beamed as the King downplayed his delight, adding “Well woman, am I to guess? What was it, son, daughter, which?

“Yes, sire. That is-both! The Queen has given you both a son and daughter. All are healthy and doing well. They are just preparing her for your visit.”

The King was absolutely delighted. “A son at last. And a new daughter to boot!”This would quell any ill will towards either of them and assure a trouble free succession. He asked of Anne. “The Queen, she is well otherwise?”


“Oh, yes sire. She is a bit worried, though. “

“Oh, how so?”, asked the King.

“Well sire, she has overindulged a bit in your absence and worries that you may lose desire for her.”

Intrigued the King probed further. “By the look of you, it would appear that someone here has been raiding the pantry. And where is the ring I gave you?”

She blushed and said “Bless me, Sire I have it still, but no longer will it fit on my finger. I keep it on a chain close to my heart.” She reached into her giant bosom and produced it, while he tried to scowl and smile at the same time.

He looked her over and took in the changes to her physique.  Not merely plump, she had surpassed even Henry’s expectations.

The mood was broken by a touch to the shoulder. It was the Royal Physician who bowed, saying “Forgive the interruption, Sire. All is prepared. The Queen is ready to present your new children. I beg you sire, not to tarry long. It has been difficult for her and she is sorely tired.”

The King nodded, smiled and strode quickly to the staircase.  He knocked softly and opened the door. Inside he was met by the midwife. He asked “Are they all healthy?”

The beaming woman forgot herself for a moment and said “See for your self.”

Before he did, he handed the woman a small purse of coins, saying “For you. I am forever in your debt.”

She thanked him, then taking the hint, left quietly.

Henry turned his attention to the matter at hand. Anne lay there, breathing laboriously, obviously in some discomfort. He was concerned, asking “You are pained, my dear. Shall I have some potion drawn for you?”

Anne shook her head. “It will pass. I want to visit a while and admire these and you, for as long as I can.” Henry neared and held out his hands to pick up the first, his son, who appeared not at all impressed. He yawned and fell asleep, while his doting father gazed on. Under the same inspection, his sister didn’t wake up at all.

Despite his obvious delight, Anne asked “What say you. Have I done well?”

He was practically dancing as he said “ Perfection my dear. How could I have ever doubted you?”

It was only then, that he turned his attentions to the mother of his latest offspring. Something was wrong. No, not wrong….different. He looked her over and gasped. Her face was as round as the spring moon, with padded cheeks , swollen as big as his fist. Her neck had layer after folded layer of fat so as to make her multi-chinned and chinless at the same time. The thin shift she wore covered her body but it was plain to see she had swollen to immense proportions. The blankets could not possibly camouflage the enormous belly swelling out, underneath. This, despite the removal of the children. What she must have looked like before!”

Aware of his staring, Anne smoothed the blankets over her tender belly “The last six months without you have been so lonely. With only good Lady Kingston for a friend, most days I just lay abed and ate, dreaming of the day, when we would be reunited. Think you badly of me?”

Henry grabbed her hand and kissed it gently. “No, my lady. The more of you there is, the more there is to love.” She smiled sweetly at that and then drifted off to a well earned sleep.

Henry crept to the door, beckoned for the midwife and left them in peace.

Next morning was pandemonium. Guards, nurses, servants ran about the premises. At times, higher nobles appeared to pay their respects, but all were turned away. It was too soon.

Once his family had been fed and tended to, Henry had another, more private visit to the Queen’s bed chamber. This time, she was alert and rested. By the looks of the numerous empty platters heaped at the side of the bed, she had been fed as well. She was just finishing the last morsel of bread and jam, as he entered the room.

She smiled and with difficulty, propped herself into a sitting position in the bed. Once again, Henry marvelled at her newfound girth, still not in full view. Despite this, he was becoming aroused, though he knew it was not the time or place.

She sensed his discomfort;  giggling “Pleased are you by my new form?” Then she placed her hands under the bulbous breasts adding “At least these will ensure I need not the help of a nurse to feed my babies.”

In truth thought Henry, they could have fed “The Multitude”; then banished such blasphemous thoughts from his mind.

Shaking his head, he began “More than pleased. I would like to see it all, if possible. Just for a moment.”

Wordlessly, she held her hand out for assistance. As Henry pulled her to the bed’s edge, he was nearly bowled over himself, instead. Another attempt got Anne to her feet. As she balanced unsteadily, she tugged at her shift, as a hint for him to help to remove it.

Once done, he scanned her, blinking in disbelief. She was not merely more rounded. She was in a word, round-as in globular. In front, her belly stuck out so far, that he feared she would fall forward. The aforementioned breasts, now unfettered, hung loosely on top, rising gently as she breathed. The rear was a match in adiposity, each cheek as large as a bushel basket, meeting blubbery legs now covered with a ten inch layer of dimpled fat.

“By the fates” he exclaimed. “I had thought the good Lady Kingston had plumped somewhat. She is like a tentpole compared to all this.” He stood back a ways and took it all in again. She began to teeter and he grabbed her waist, to steady her, giving him the opportunity to immediately assess both its supple softness and vast size. Careful of her tender condition, he allowed his hands to explore up and down to ensure the rest of her met the same standard. At his touch, she closed her eyes, moaned softly and pressed her head onto his shoulder. The two embraced without moving until the spell was broken by the King’s realization that she was weeping softly.

He realized that it was too soon for intimacy and asked her what was troubling her.

“Nothing sire. I weep in joy and relief… “ She almost said “that I am to be spared now.” Instead she commented “…that you now have a son and heir.”

Henry smiled adding “As do I. I will speak with the physician and if he agrees, you will come back to court with me on the morrow. The children must be blessed as soon as possible.”

The doctor did agree, but there was a problem. Anne had become so fat in her captivity; that she would not fit through the door. Even if they could expand the doorway she could never have shuffled down the narrow staircase in any event.

It took about a week, but finally a hole was broken into the outer wall and the Queen was carefully lowered to the ground in a special hoist, normally used for placing oxen aboard ships.

Once safely home, Anne asked to be weighed. She tallied up at an unbelieveable 32 stone. Lady Kingston was a “mere” 21 stone, but she and her Queen had an effect on the population.

Many noblewomen decided that the road to royal favor was to emulate their newly corpulent Queen. As such, the rest of the Tudor era, was one where great size in women was both admired and desired. In fact, it became a symbol of British wealth, prosperity and prestige. The phrase “As fat as an Englishwoman”, was coined in this time. In the rest of the world, it was considered the highest compliment one could pay.

 

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Epilogue

Their first son, Arthur was named after Henry’s deceased older brother. When it came time to take the throne, he proved to be as noble and revered a King, as the Arthur of Camelot. Their older daughters Mary and Elizabeth, once fattened to acceptable standards, were married off to princes in France and Spain.

Arthur’s twin sister Catherine, was to marry into the clan of the Stuarts. The scarcity of food in Scotland, made Catharine’s 18 stone bulk a bit of an oddity; but it gave the Scottish King pause to reflect on land reforms, to feed his people.

Their next eldest son, Mathew was in charge of the Navy, in adulthood , but sadly was lost at sea in one of the country’s first voyages to the new world.

Their youngest son, after a dissolute youth, settled down and eventually became the Archbishop of Canterbury. His practical negotiation powers helped to heal the rift with Rome.

Anne their youngest child, was the apple of Henry’s eye. Once of marriageable age she was the only one in the Kingdom, who dared outdo her own mother in corpulence. Henry found suitable work for her new husband, the Crown Prince of Denmark in his army. The newlyweds would never leave England, for his bride was so fat, she could barely move from the table to the bedroom!

Lord and Lady Kingston were rewarded with a generous estate of their own, but spent much of their time at Hampton Court. Anne could not bear to be parted from her friend, whose little plan to save a life, ensured a dynasty and age of prosperity that runs unbroken to this day.

 

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