Weight gain schadenfreude

[le_gone]

20 hours ago, hhh said:

Haha, yeah.  I like how it's "embarrassing" on other girls, but on her it's totally fine and she doesn't care.

So true ! And as regards my wife, who's quite fat now, she is still gossiping about other girls gaining weight, even though they are much slimmer than her !

[brucejedi]

Personally, while I do enjoy the scenario of a thin, stuck-up gal getting what she deserves, that's not the source of the fetish for me. There was a story posted some years back called "The Acquisition" in which a somewhat clueless but ultimately innocent girl slowly loses the various traits that made her so perfect. She starts to gain weight, and also suddenly needs glasses, becomes less coordinated, etc. The story presents none of this as deserved—and yet the story was just as much (if not more so) of a turn-on than the spoiled-brat-gets-what’s-coming narrative.

So if schadenfreude means simply "taking pleasure in another's pain," then yes, for me the fetish is about that. But if it means "taking pleasure in another's pain to feel better about oneself" (like a Yankee's fan rejoicing when the Red Sox lose) or “taking pleasure when others are deservedly punished,” then schadenfreude is too narrow a descriptor.

For me, I think the weight gain fetish is more closely associated with bondage fantasies—the idea of having something unwanted happen to you that you cannot control. But interestingly, more traditional bondage like being tied up is much less interesting to me. Perhaps it has something to do with how girls gain weight in a different pattern than guys do, so that the heavier a girl is, the more feminine she looks? (It’s been shown that a round butt is a sexual “ornament” and sign of fertility cross-culturally and also in other primates.) But I’m in line with riptoryx that the inconveniences associated with weight gain are really at the heart of it—the loss of conventional social status, the embarrassment of outgrowing a pair of jeans, the way the extra weight feels on the treadmill—and all that seems surely wrapped up in humiliation and loss of control.

[Guest hhh]

[Guest Reluctantfatlover]

On 13/4/2017 at 5:28 PM, brucejedi said:

Personally, while I do enjoy the scenario of a thin, stuck-up gal getting what she deserves, that's not the source of the fetish for me. There was a story posted some years back called "The Acquisition" in which a somewhat clueless but ultimately innocent girl slowly loses the various traits that made her so perfect. She starts to gain weight, and also suddenly needs glasses, becomes less coordinated, etc. The story presents none of this as deserved—and yet the story was just as much (if not more so) of a turn-on than the spoiled-brat-gets-what’s-coming narrative.

So if schadenfreude means simply "taking pleasure in another's pain," then yes, for me the fetish is about that. But if it means "taking pleasure in another's pain to feel better about oneself" (like a Yankee's fan rejoicing when the Red Sox lose) or “taking pleasure when others are deservedly punished,” then schadenfreude is too narrow a descriptor.

For me, I think the weight gain fetish is more closely associated with bondage fantasies—the idea of having something unwanted happen to you that you cannot control. But interestingly, more traditional bondage like being tied up is much less interesting to me. Perhaps it has something to do with how girls gain weight in a different pattern than guys do, so that the heavier a girl is, the more feminine she looks? (It’s been shown that a round butt is a sexual “ornament” and sign of fertility cross-culturally and also in other primates.) But I’m in line with riptoryx that the inconveniences associated with weight gain are really at the heart of it—the loss of conventional social status, the embarrassment of outgrowing a pair of jeans, the way the extra weight feels on the treadmill—and all that seems surely wrapped up in humiliation and loss of control.

What you're saying makes sense. If there's a sadistic undertone, so to speak, it makes sense that the more innocent the girl is, the more satisfying the gain.

[biglover89]

Made me think. Does that mean that if we feel schadenfreude when pretty and popular girls gain weight, we are essentially bad people?

[brucejedi]

On ‎4‎/‎21‎/‎2017 at 4:14 AM, biglover89 said:

Made me think. Does that mean that if we feel schadenfreude when pretty and popular girls gain weight, we are essentially bad people?

I don't know. I might have misspoken earlier when I said "take pleasure in another's pain". Personally I draw the line at the point where the girl is so unhappy with the extra weight that she's miserable or depressed. I don't find that stimulating. I much prefer a mild annoyance at her belly spilling over her jeans, or the comments like "Crap, I've gained weight again. [Frown.] Could you tell?" The fact that she doesn't like it is admittedly part of the fetish for me, but if she REALLY doesn't like it, or if it's affecting her health, I'm not into that. And when it's a real person and not a story, the empathy factor is even more present, because as riptoryx says, it's never fun seeing someone you know or love unhappy.

[riptoryx]

On 4/21/2017 at 1:14 AM, biglover89 said:

Made me think. Does that mean that if we feel schadenfreude when pretty and popular girls gain weight, we are essentially bad people?

At the risk becoming an oddly self-referential broken record, I stand by my previous assertion(s): 

It is not immoral to be aroused by things that others--or even you, yourself--find odd, silly, dark, creepy, disgusting, mean, cruel, illegal, or even outright horrific. What turns us on is rarely, if ever, a conscious choice. It's just the way we are. 

While moral implications may arise from our actions and their consequences, private or willingly-shared fantasies seem an ideal, safest way to exercise those natural yet dark or otherwise controversial predilections. 

[Guest Reluctantfatlover]

Here's a real-life example which I think illustrates the whole innocence angle:

In my previous job there was this girl fittingly called Angela. She was in her mid-20s, very sweet and shy, with a permanent sweet smile. She was skinny-fat, you could say, i.e thin but with a flat ass and untoned arms. Facially, she looked something like a mix of Michelle Trachtenberg and Sasha Pieterse, pale skin and dark brown hair down to her shoukders, which she sometimes wore in a bun.

She was an only child who was born when her parents were quite old, so as it usually happens in those cases, she grew to be shy, a straight-A student and a bit of a loner. Her hobbies were sewing and knitting, and she actually made a few of her own clothes. She didn't have a boyfriend and never had as far as I know. I'm convinced she was a virgin, the kind of girl who stays at home reading Wuthering Heights and fantasizing about a knight in shining armor. She was a homebody and never exercized.

This girl started working for this manager woman, your typical middle-aged go-getter in a business suit who thought she had to overcompensate for the fact that she's a woman by being extra-bossy. She made Angela work long hours, even weekends, and obviously Angela was too meek to say no. Months passed before I saw her again, and when I finally did at the cafeteria she had obviously gained weight. She had an obvious double chin and her ass had gotten wide, although it was still as flat. If anything it looked a bit saggier. I caught a peek of a white muffin top from behind, bulking over the waist of her jeans. The cafeteria was just downstairs and we usually used the stair as an excuse to exercize a bit on a sedentary job. I noticed she was struggling up the stairs and she was puffing and huffing bad enough to make her speech difficult. She never lost the weight for as long as I worked there. I was turned on by the idea of a strict experienced female boss indirectly inflicting abuse on the body of this weak inexperienced girl by using her and exploiting her, making her even more sedentary and forcing her to eat unhealthily and irregularly and to comfort eat to deal with the stress. I knew she wasn't a physical girl at all and she would never exercize that weight away.

At one point I was single and I considered making a move on her (she was attracted to me and she was a sweet, intelligent girl, and definitely not ugly), but I was put off by two things, one self-serving and the other selfless: even though I was turned on by her weight gain, her body was far from my ideal - as it's usual in me in cases like this, I was in turns aroused and repulsed by her body, and second, even though the whole virginal innocence angle was a turn-on for me and I fantasized with perverting her, the gap in experience was too wide, and I was aware that my sexual attraction to her had nasty undertones, so I knew I would hurt her at some point.

So here's an example of how 'fetishisnm' and ethics sometimes clash in real life.

[blued0t]

On 7/8/2015 at 2:08 AM, riptoryx said:

SheGotFat, I think you’ve raised a very interesting subject.  It’s something I’ve thought about before, and, like you, I’ve also wondered how many (or how few) might feel similarly even within our own little pervy FA community.  Since it seems to me that we may share similar kinks—and because my experience has been that this subject is rarely discussed openly, even in nominally “safe” places like Curvage—against my better judgement, I’m going to offer a long (too long?) response to your question.

I feel like there are two distinct components to my erotic FA interests. 

One component is that I have an aesthetic preference for curvier female physiques.  While not amenable to clear boundaries, I’d say my aesthetic preference runs on the lighter side relative to “average” FA standards. 

The other component is an attraction to weight gain itself, for its transformative effects.  I like the way it makes a gal softer, heavier, and gradually alters the contours of her figure and the shape of her face.  I like the way it impacts the fit of her clothes.  I like the way it changes how she moves.  I like the way it can affect what sort of activities she chooses to do, and what sort activities she CAN do.  I like the way it changes how others perceive her, and perhaps how she perceives herself.

Most directly related to your query about schadenfreude, a lot of my interest in weight gain leans towards its potential for “destructive” transformation.  I’m fascinated by all the “negatives” associated with it.  I’m talking about decreased conventional physical attractiveness, diminished strength, stamina, agility and coordination, inability to maintain a preferred fashion, weakened willpower, overindulged appetites, self-loathing, shame, humiliation, and sneering public contempt.  It’s all just so deliciously taboo. 

Also, I think there’s a very strong dom-sub undercurrent to the whole destructive weight gain aspect.  Much of it, I feel, is tied to indicia of power and control.  Very similar to what you described for yourself, what I most enjoy seeing in this regard is a slim, fit, attractive, popular, confident, and self-reliant babe gradually, inexorably become a soft, lazy, awkward, laughably out-of-shape, humiliated, dependent, dumpy little butterball.  I love seeing a gal’s “best” features turn into her worst problems, her strengths become weaknesses.  I love seeing her struggle to manage things that were once taken for granted as effortlessly easy.    I love seeing her knocked down a peg for every notch she’s compelled to let out on her belts.  And, critically, I prefer that all of this happen unintentionally and unwillingly.  Loss of control, status, and power—all tied, at least in some vague collective public perception, to that simple, shameful moral failure of not being able to manage her appetite and level of activity. 

Naturally, the more “perfect” the gal is at the outset, the more erotically appealing I find all of this destructive transformation.  The higher the pedestal upon which that Ming vase is set, the more satisfying will be the crash once it’s nudged over the edge. 

Because my interests have these two components, things can appeal to me in different ways depending upon how these components do or do not overlap.  For example, I may find a chubby gal very attractive on an aesthetic level, without any real weight gain aspect to the situation.  Alternatively, there can be overlap, such as when a gal I find aesthetically attractive also happens to be gaining weight.  Finally, even when weight gain progresses beyond what I find aesthetically appealing, it still may intrigue me for the appeal of the effects of the weight gain itself.  Even when a gal gets “too fat” for me, I can still find myself erotically captivated by the spectacle of a proverbial weight gain train wreck.  Heck, I’d go so far as to say becoming “too fat” for my aesthetic preference is actually one of the key, obligatory boxes to check on the list of destructive weight gain milestones. 

Over the years, I’ve realized that this interest in destructive weight gain is primarily just a fantasy.  I’ve found that exactly because it IS so negative, destructive, and unwanted as an inherent part of its appeal, I cannot in fact wish that sort of thing upon anyone I am in a relationship with or about whom I care.  My empathetic feelings for the people close to me just steamroll and kill that particular kinky inclination.  However, as a fantasy, it remains very, very appealing to me—a fact for which I make no apologies.  I’m also certainly not above indulging myself by enjoying actual examples of this sort of thing in folks that I perhaps only know by casual acquaintance or have merely learned of via second- or third-hand information. 

If you’d like to discuss any of this stuff in more detail, or even just share “war stories,” feel free to send me a personal message.  It’s always nice to find another kinkily kindred spirit. 

This is amazing. I am completely aligned with this explanation and appreciate you sharing it. This is why I like pregnancy - hits each piece.

[riptoryx]

8 hours ago, blued0t said:

This is amazing. I am completely aligned with this explanation and appreciate you sharing it. This is why I like pregnancy - hits each piece.

Cool. Always glad to see more aligned kinksters slinking around here. And yeah, a properly out-of-control pregnancy blimp-up can be quite...interesting.

[escape60]

11 minutes ago, riptoryx said:

Cool. Always glad to see more aligned kinksters slinking around here. And yeah, a properly out-of-control pregnancy blimp-up can be quite...interesting.

Can't argue with that, seeing a slim, fit girl gradually lose her grip on her control and figure can be a delicious sight spaced over the course of months.

[Guest Weight gain schadenfreude]

11 hours ago, blued0t said:

This is amazing. I am completely aligned with this explanation and appreciate you sharing it. This is why I like pregnancy - hits each piece.

I've seen some real-life cases of slim girls totally losing control during their first pregnancy and it's spectacular.

[vpprof]

Wow, that's an excellent thread. Pity so many people have closed their accounts and won't read it anymore. I think the explanation for the sexiness of bad things happening to your partner (schadenfreude) is that the partner is then vulnerable and more dependent on you. I won't reiterate the amazing plethora of examples given here, maybe I'll add the financial aspect to it — owning a huge mansion or a bank account with many digits on it. And don't forget about acrotomophilia — attraction to amputees — or capnolagnia — attraction to smoking-addicts (scenes featuring prominent "mucus coughs", I kid you not).

Why are people turned on by having a dependent partner? Well, I think this is obvious, it's because a dependent person is easy to coerce, also they develop some superficial affinity to their "master". So basically this route is for people who yearn affection but have never been given any, and so resort to artificial measures of eliciting it like this.

Now, make no mistake, attraction towards the incompetent or the weak isn't a male or female thing (women do marry alcoholics and prisoners, remember). 

On 4/21/2017 at 10:14 AM, biglover89 said:

Made me think. Does that mean that if we feel schadenfreude when pretty and popular girls gain weight, we are essentially bad people?

🤷🏻‍♂️ Moral judgments are never useful in the process of understanding or changing one's behavior. Everyone makes this judgment for themselves.

One thing is sure — people who have to "soften their partner up" before they engage with them, feel weak or insignificant themselves. How to build your self-esteem? For starters, don't soak up others' negativity, so in a situation like this: 

On 11/22/2015 at 3:38 AM, Miners666 said:

for example every time I meet up with one of them she always talks about how much money she earns or is saving a month or how many 'underlings' she has working under her, which is good for her but she knows fully well how much I hate my job and how I had to scrape money together just to meet for lunch... so the idea of her being unable to control her apatite and slowly becoming obese is a great power/domination fantasy for me

— just give up. You don't need a "friend" who is insecure enough to bash you at every meeting with tales of their real or imaginary success.

[CarlGnarl]

I remember there was one super-hot thin girl who never paid me the time of day, one reason being she was a year older, which is a lot when you're a teen. The other reason is she didn't know I was alive. That had something to do with it!

I went back to my home town and there she was, sitting on a stool at a local sandwich shop, total hag, hair a mess, about 80 visible pounds of flabby fat hanging off her belly, chunky, lumpy thighs, and flabby, dangling arms. Tons of makeup, too. 

A shame! (Devil horns)

But hot, too. 

Jodie S. was like that as well. Slim, tight, super-hot, superpopular in high school.

Saw her at a pinball machine a few years later at a bar. Didn't recognize the girl with the bus-sized behind until I saw her from the front.

We're good friends on Facebook for 10 years now. If I wanted to be jerk, I would swipe before and after photos and post them here. She was probably 110 pounds in high school. Today? 250. Fat!!!

[riptoryx]

@CarlGnarl, I suspect stuff like that is, one way or another, a leading reason why many folks are interested in high school reunions and similar events. 😈

[Guest Weight gain schadenfreude]

3 hours ago, riptoryx said:

@CarlGnarl, I suspect stuff like that is, one way or another, a leading reason why many folks are interested in high school reunions and similar events. 😈

Indeed. As you might guess by my username, I really enjoyed mine, especially as mine included a beach party.

[CarlGnarl]

On 9/3/2021 at 9:27 PM, riptoryx said:

@CarlGnarl, I suspect stuff like that is, one way or another, a leading reason why many folks are interested in high school reunions and similar events. 😈

Absolutely. One expects people will be maybe a little chubbier or some of the dudes may be losing their hair ,but when someone shows up and they are just massively fat when they were slim-and-trim in high school, Good God, what a turn-on. My ex went to hers at 340 pounds when she'd been 180 pounds in high school. Always chubby but now...OMG lol...

[CarlGnarl]

On 4/7/2017 at 7:23 AM, le_gone said:

So true ! And as regards my wife, who's quite fat now, she is still gossiping about other girls gaining weight, even though they are much slimmer than her !

omg I love it when fat girls call other girls fat. 

[CarlGnarl]

On 6/30/2015 at 1:29 PM, Guest shegotfat said:

Hi all.

I think I'm the ony girl here who's here to see and not to be seen. Since I can remember I feel turned on by other girls gaining weight, especially if they're really hot or popular. I know many girls feel schadenfreude about other girls' weight gain, but I don't know any other female who's turned on by it. The funny thing is I'm in very good shape myself and I'm terrified of gaining weight. I guess it makes sense in a way.

I've noticed there are many guys here who also feel schadenfreude about girls gaining weight and I'm curious to know what's behind that feeling. It's not like with girls where there is a lot of cattiness and competition involved. When you see a hot girl gaining weight do you think of the hot girls who rejected you in the past or something like that? I'm really curious.

Thank you.

Have to add one more thing/respond to this. In high school there was a wispy, blonde, tiny, beautiful creature who was the acknowledged hottie. She dated these assholes who worked on cars, which really annoyed me, lol...

A few years after high school, saw her at a club I was playing at. From post-high school drinking and the slowing of metabolism - wow! Liz had a nice roll hanging over her jeans, and a puffy face. Not only that ,she was wearing a horizontally striped shirt, which of course accentuated her new chub.

I asked her out immediately, we started dating and as soon as we had sex, I couldn't help but think "This beauty was a size 2" and I'd look at her bulging belly, spreading hips and fuller breasts, and I'd have an orgasm, couldn't help it. When we drove in the car and she drove, she would say "I'm glad I don't have to pick my thighs up while I drive. With other guys I get self-conscious because all the fat spreads out and makes them look huge!"

We're still friends...she is as blonde as ever! And she never got fatter, just wasn't a high-school stick anymore, pretty normal. Married with one kid.

[MasterOfHisDomain]

5 hours ago, CarlGnarl said:

Absolutely. One expects people will be maybe a little chubbier or some of the dudes may be losing their hair ,but when someone shows up and they are just massively fat when they were slim-and-trim in high school, Good God, what a turn-on. My ex went to hers at 340 pounds when she'd been 180 pounds in high school. Always chubby but now...OMG lol...

@CarlGnarl how many years out of high school are you talking about? I'm approaching my twentieth reunion and am intrigued by these anecdotes.

I also found this great excerpt online:

Quote

The additional fat gain is gradual, thus the term “creeping obesity.” I believe a classic representation of this gradual onset of fat weight is the high school reunion. I have attended four or five of my high school reunions, and they are a great visual example of what creeping obesity is all about.

From my recollection, and I am sure the readers above age 40 can concur with me on this observation, at the five-year reunion, everyone is easily recognizable. Perhaps a few classmates have gained enough weight to warrant a comment that they “look a little softer” compared to their days as a chiseled athlete. No major changes are usually noted at this reunion.

The 10-year reunion is a bit more difficult when spotting old cronies from the high school days. These usually initiate a few secretly whispered, “Hey, who’s THAT?” exchanges between old buddies.

Let’s fast forward to the 20- or 25-year reunion. This is where some social exchanges become even more cautious and tentative. These reunions require name tags for most of the classmates. Girths have expanded and some of the athletes that used to be first to cross the finish line are now winning the race to the buffet line.