shas Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 Hi all, sorry if my english is bad, i do my best ;D I've started going out with my girlfriend 1 year ago. She started pretty chubby (~75kg) but lost weight because of a thyroid problem (down to 68kg). Later, I told her for my preferences for chubby women and she agreed to try to gain a little weight for me, but no more than the weight she'd lost. I promised to help her to be more confident about her body. Finally, she gained a little more (unintentionaly) and ended to 80kg. I was in heaven until last sunday... She told me that she could no longer bear her belly because she is very complexed by her body shape. She decided to eat healthier, exercise more and lose until she feels better. I totally accept her decision, but then she asked me to help her because she won't be able to do it without my support. I know i should help her because i don't love her just for her body, i love her for who she is, but i don't feel able to do it because i know i will be less attracted by her body, which is perfect currently, and it may have an impact on sex. I really needed to share because I don't find a solution... I don't want to be selfish in my choice, but I hope to find a solution that will avoid impacts on our relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wilan Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 If you love her for more than her body, you should be able to support her. If not, you may have to reconsider the relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Atlya Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 Well, she does know you'll be less excited in the bedroom, right? If everyone is honest then there's no issue. You love her more than for her body but when you have sex, it's with her body, no? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest myownway Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 Don't panic in advance. There is a pretty good chance she won't lose a pound and if she does but gets tired of dieting before it becomes significant, there might be some yoyo. In the meantime, work GENTLY on her getting used to her belly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Professor Aronnax Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 My sincere and most helpful advice is that you must have awesome sex with her fattest female friend. (No. Do not do it.) This will serve to drive home to your GF that she needs to start eating, and if your GF breaks up with you, you still have a cute fat girl to sleep with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shas Posted June 27, 2014 Author Share Posted June 27, 2014 You love her more than for her body but when you have sex, it's with her body, no? Sure, but i want her to feel better too :-\ Don't panic in advance. There is a pretty good chance she won't lose a pound and if she does but gets tired of dieting before it becomes significant, there might be some yoyo. In the meantime, work GENTLY on her getting used to her belly. It's a possibility but what if it doesn't happen like that ? I'm really attracted by her actual body, the bigger she is, the more i'm attracted, but if she manages to lose, i know i'll be less. I tried to get her used to her belly, to accept it, but it was useless when you know what she plans to do ... This is frustrating. 1 year of support for the reverse effect x'( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest myownway Posted June 27, 2014 Share Posted June 27, 2014 It's a possibility but what if it doesn't happen like that ? I'm really attracted by her actual body, the bigger she is, the more i'm attracted, but if she manages to lose, i know i'll be less. I tried to get her used to her belly, to accept it, but it was useless when you know what she plans to do ... This is frustrating. 1 year of support for the reverse effect x'( Calm down, really. Trust me, it's much easier to gain weight than lose it and especially if the persons who tries doing it likes food - and I assume your gf does, am I right? I can relate to not being happy about significant other's weight loss plans, but if your relationship is serious it shouldn't really be that much of a problem, right? I mean, you actually WERE attracted to her when she was 68 kilos, aye? Meanwhile, while she tries losing weight, focus on OTHER things that turn you on in her and try focusing on the curves she has at the moment - because if it's only weight that does arouse you in her, then that's a pretty bad situation if you consider long-term relationship with this lady. Besides, she did gain specifically for you for a while, right? So remember that you're luckier than quite a lot of buggers here . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shas Posted June 27, 2014 Author Share Posted June 27, 2014 Calm down, really. Trust me, it's much easier to gain weight than lose it and especially if the persons who tries doing it likes food - and I assume your gf does, am I right? I can relate to not being happy about significant other's weight loss plans, but if your relationship is serious it shouldn't really be that much of a problem, right? I mean, you actually WERE attracted to her when she was 68 kilos, aye? Meanwhile, while she tries losing weight, focus on OTHER things that turn you on in her and try focusing on the curves she has at the moment - because if it's only weight that does arouse you in her, then that's a pretty bad situation if you consider long-term relationship with this lady. Besides, she did gain specifically for you for a while, right? So remember that you're luckier than quite a lot of buggers here . You're probably right, she loves food but recently, she mainly ate salads, even if she's still hungry then .. : She's not really on diet, but she uses slimming creams, she eats healthier and she makes some sport, w/e it's the same goal than a diet :-/ I'll try to enjoy her current curves and hope for a yoyo because as you said, i'm quite lucky, and she's too because except this community, i don't know a lot of young men who accept their girlfriend to gain weight ^^' They mostly want big boobs or/and big butt but flat belly ! Anyway, thank you for your advice, it helps me a lot and it's quite liberating Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest myownway Posted June 27, 2014 Share Posted June 27, 2014 You're probably right, she loves food but recently, she mainly ate salads, even if she's still hungry then .. : She's not really on diet, but she uses slimming creams, she eats healthier and she makes some sport, w/e it's the same goal than a diet :-/ I'll try to enjoy her current curves and hope for a yoyo because as you said, i'm quite lucky, and she's too because except this community, i don't know a lot of young men who accept their girlfriend to gain weight ^^' They mostly want big boobs or/and big butt but flat belly ! Anyway, thank you for your advice, it helps me a lot and it's quite liberating First of all, you're welcome . Secondly - you shouldn't mind slimming creams, the best they can do is reduce her cellulite a bit, if she has any, but generally slimming pills are as effective as penis enlargement pills. Actually, they might actually make her skin look better, but don't expect them to shrink her curves in any noticeable manner. Thirdly - with regard to salads etc. - it's like I said before. If she eats salads and is still hungry afterwards, her metabolism will probably slow down in the long run. She might lose 2 pounds and mostly water weight at that, and when she gets tired of trying to lose weight (and she most probably will sooner than you think) she will regain it plus some extra. And contrary to what you might expect, eating healthier and exercising might be good in the long run. First of all it will make her feel better (exercise and healthy food does it, irrespective of whether it results in weight loss), secondly she will be healthier and thirdly, exercise stimulates appetite. The thing is, even some gainer BBWs have days when they feel "too fat" and simply don't feel good about themselves. Often this comes in relation to their hormonal cycle - when some hormones get low, so does the mood and self-perception. And it seems quite common among women that they just want to feel then like they're doing something to improve their bodies, and almost all women in our culture have it imprinted more or less in their mind that this means getting slimmer. What you cannot do is stop showing her your interest and appreciation of her body. Actually, at such moments she might need it more than ever. Appreciate her curves and even if she goes on saying she wants to lose some of them, just tell her that you like her as she is, and you always will (and progressively do your best to make the truth as close to that as possible). If you make her feel like she is becoming less attractive to you (and you might if you continue being so concerned about a loss of a few pounds) that might actually work to your detriment. Been there, done that (I was a bit dumber then, it seems), had to work half a year to get my lady's confidence back to normal. The bottom line is that a girl who has a tendency to gain, loves food and is kept feeling happy and secure will most probably gain weight if you give her enough occasions to take advantage of the pleasure that food provides. I mean, if I a woman feels she has found her lifetime partner, she won't want to lose weight to remain attractive for other men who'd perhaps prefer her slimmer. And if she eats healthy and remains active she won't have to worry about health problems, so that's one less reason to lose weight. And if she feels loved, she will love in return, which makes it quite probable that she will be less willing to lose weight knowing that you like her big - especially if you won't be pushing her to gain. To sum it up, things might not always work as well as I've been writing - there just too many variables and individual differences, but if you start pushing your girl or you let her feel less attractive to you, your chances to get what you want will be even slimmer (pun intended). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tombridges1 Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 Happy girlfriend is more important than fat girlfriend. I've learned that pretty intimately over the past year. Mine started off about 160-170 lbs for a 5'5'' girl, but lost about 15-20 lbs because she stopped drinking beer as often (yet we were eating dominos twice a week, go figure!). At first I was a little bummed 'cause I had already expressed my preference for slightly bigger girls, but I pretty soon found out that I loved her way more because she was happy and confident being skinnier. Now her weight is pretty stable and it doesn't look like she's going to be gaining any more, but in the end you really have to ask yourself do you love your girlfriend or do you just get turned on by fat girls? As long as she's happy and healthy, you'll find a way to be happy as well. So don't worry too much no matter what happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy57106 Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 Happy girlfriend is more important than fat girlfriend. I've learned that pretty intimately over the past year. Mine started off about 160-170 lbs for a 5'5'' girl, but lost about 15-20 lbs because she stopped drinking beer as often (yet we were eating dominos twice a week, go figure!). At first I was a little bummed 'cause I had already expressed my preference for slightly bigger girls, but I pretty soon found out that I loved her way more because she was happy and confident being skinnier. Now her weight is pretty stable and it doesn't look like she's going to be gaining any more, but in the end you really have to ask yourself do you love your girlfriend or do you just get turned on by fat girls? As long as she's happy and healthy, you'll find a way to be happy as well. So don't worry too much no matter what happens. Tom is right on, her happiness should be what is more important to you. Myself, I'm a bigger guy and I'm working at losing weight, my wife and I both are, and I fully support her in her efforts. Yes I like and attracted to bigger women, but your weight can affect your health, and as long as she's happy and healthy, that should be what's most important. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbootymandy29 Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 I agree try to support her and make her happy she might lose weight she might not but I do agree with the statement that have been said that gaining weight is way easier than losing weight so just do your best and express what you like show her how sexy she is when she's bigger to you and maybe she'll start feeling better about it and want to stay that way good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
majormotion Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 I feel your pain brother Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curvage Model SydneyScreams CLIPS Posted October 16, 2014 Curvage Model Share Posted October 16, 2014 If you love her, then you love her regardless of her body shape. If you love her body shape, then you're fetishizing your partner and don't actually love her, which isn't fair for her or the relationship overall. Her happiness is more important than whether you're attracted to fat girls or skinny girls...attraction fades. However, being happy as a couple is also extremely important. I think you'll find that as long as she's happy, you'll be happy. Talk to her about your attraction to bigger women, and negotiate. A relationship is always about balance and meeting both parties' needs and wants. Maybe the solution is let her be happy and comfortable in her own skin, while you enjoy porn featuring your preferred body type. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shas Posted October 31, 2014 Author Share Posted October 31, 2014 Hi guys, this topic can be closed because we broke up about two monthes ago for others reasons than her weight :/ I managed to accept her decision and support her but we were too different to have a healthy relationship. She wasn't honest enough with me and we argued more and more. Now, she is free, she can lose or gain weight, I don't care anymore, I have my own way to draw Thanks for your advice anyway Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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