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I tried on an old swimsuit and it seems like it's getting tighter and I look even fatter than I normally do. My belly rolls hanging out... my back rolls hanging out. I'm getting ready to go to the beach and you made me lunch for before I go. I'm going to look even fatter and more stuffed in this swimsuit! Everyone will be staring at my belly at the beach... but I know you love the idea of that. How does the swimsuit look on me after I eat a full plate of pasta and bread? You're the best boyfriend! 

Oh and I burp once and get shy about it.

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