Struggling with Recent Massive Gain
I've always been fat. I know that. It's not like I ever denied it. But recently, well the past year I guess, things have changed.
My love of food, and binge eating, and an unstoppable fat fetish kept me gaining and dieting my whole adult life. Pregnancy, getting older, yeah they helped things along but I always managed to keep things in check. Under 200 pounds, that's all I really could hope for. And for decades I managed it. And then...bam!
Health issues, no longer working, old age, they all piled up on me. Figuratively and quite literally. My weight has ballooned out of control. I really didn't think I could gain so much so quickly. I mean sure, when hamming it up for the sexual thrill I would pretend I could get that fat that fast. But in the real world, who knew.
My weight has skyrocketed. I blew past that 200 pound mark in the blink of an eye. And then dozens of more pounds piled on. The bigger I got, the more depressed it made me. The more depressed I got, the more I stuffed myself. The more I stuffed myself, the more I grew.
Sharing my struggle, talking about it openly, well that just made me horny. And then, well you guessed it, the more turned on I got the more I ate. So here I am constantly eating, constantly gaining. The compliments and words of encouragement exciting me. The joy of the fetish thrilling me. But in the real world I've out grown several sizes of clothing, am embarrassed to be seen, and have a partner who does not share my fat fetish.
It's really hard for me to know how to feel. One minute disgusted by my body, the next an uncontrollable desire for more. Wishing I could just be open and share the thrills, wanting to hide. Stuffing myself, or eating healthy, or dieting...depends on the day. And honestly how horny I am.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, though it sure sounds like it. I'm just saying two things...one, it's all so very confusing. And two, holy shit I have quickly gained more than I thought was possible!
8 Comments
Recommended Comments
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now