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Struggling with Recent Massive Gain


GluttonyGal

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I've always been fat. I know that. It's not like I ever denied it. But recently,  well the past year I guess, things have changed. 

My love of food, and binge eating, and an unstoppable fat fetish kept me gaining and dieting my whole adult life. Pregnancy,  getting older, yeah they helped things along but I always managed to keep things in check. Under 200 pounds, that's all I really could hope for. And for decades I managed it. And then...bam!

Health issues, no longer working,  old age, they all piled up on me. Figuratively and quite literally.  My weight has ballooned out of control. I really didn't think I could gain so much so quickly. I mean sure, when hamming it up for the sexual thrill I would pretend I could get that fat that fast. But in the real world,  who knew.

My weight has skyrocketed.  I blew past that 200 pound mark in the blink of an eye. And then dozens of more pounds piled on. The bigger I got, the more depressed it made me. The more depressed I got, the more I stuffed myself.  The more I stuffed myself, the more I grew. 

Sharing my struggle, talking about it openly, well that just made me horny. And then, well you guessed it, the more turned on I got the more I ate. So here I am constantly eating, constantly gaining. The compliments and words of encouragement exciting me. The joy of the fetish thrilling me. But in the real world I've out grown several sizes of clothing, am embarrassed to be seen, and have a partner who does not share my fat fetish.

It's really hard for me to know how to feel. One minute disgusted by my body, the next an uncontrollable desire for more. Wishing I could just be open and share the thrills, wanting to hide. Stuffing myself,  or eating healthy, or dieting...depends on the day. And honestly how horny I am.

Don't get me wrong,  I'm not complaining, though it sure sounds like it. I'm just saying two things...one, it's all so very confusing.  And two, holy shit I have quickly gained more than I thought was possible!

 

 

 

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A familiar story I am sure for many of the long time feederists and older members.  Always an underlying conflict, but gaining always wins out!  That is what makes you happy and is your true self.  Interestingly, many gainers do not have partners into the fat or feederism fetish.  Think how happy and full filled they would be with an FA or feeder or mutual gainer.  The more your conflict is discussed, the more you help yourself and others in this community.  Thanks!!

Keep stuffing and doing you!  Happiness!  You only live once!

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@fatowl thank you for your honest and heartfelt response.  The interesting thing for me to deal with is that I was always the encourager, feeder, and admirer. I still love other people's fat and growing bodies but now that I'm the fat and growing one it's an adjustment. 

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1 hour ago, GluttonyGal said:

@fatowl thank you for your honest and heartfelt response.  The interesting thing for me to deal with is that I was always the encourager, feeder, and admirer. I still love other people's fat and growing bodies but now that I'm the fat and growing one it's an adjustment. 

Thanks!  For your thoughts.  That is where mutual gaining is special.  Both people can be feeders, feedees, FAs, admirers, and encouragers.  Given your gluttonous nature, you need a feeder to encourage you and make the decision to let go and gain with impunity to blossom your belly to its fullest enchantment for admiration and worship!   

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2 minutes ago, fatowl said:

Thanks!  For your thoughts.  That is where mutual gaining is special.  Both people can be feeders, feedees, FAs, admirers, and encouragers.  Given your gluttonous nature, you need a feeder to encourage you and make the decision to let go and gain with impunity to blossom your belly to its fullest enchantment for admiration and worship!   

Wow. The idea of two people, eating  with reckless abandon, enjoying each other's bodies as they expand, pushing each other to their own desire to indulge...

Beautiful.❤ and Sexy.🔥 

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Feed that belly baby! Love your Blog!  Sounds like you need a new partner!   I just finally gave up on mine after 25 years.  She did not share my love of watching her eat and expand and I gave up waiting for it to happen.

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On 7/28/2021 at 8:33 AM, Zoll2008 said:

Feed that belly baby! Love your Blog!  Sounds like you need a new partner!   I just finally gave up on mine after 25 years.  She did not share my love of watching her eat and expand and I gave up waiting for it to happen.

Thank you 😊

I'm sorry you had to wait that long but I know how you feel.  My first partner of 10 years was my denial years and my second partner of 16 years only barely understands my desires much less trying to share in them. He literally pays no attention to me or my body. Yet how he can't notice is beyond me since I keep outgrowing my clothes. I mean, at least he's not repulsed by me and does not treat me any differently at all the fatter I get. But it would be amazing,  just once, to really share my feelings openly and honestly with someone. Or even better to experience some mutual gratification involving, well honestly,  food and my giant belly.

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